At first, the reason Brooke had agreed to let Faith introduce her to the lifestyle was to interact with a human and avoid boredom. Brooke had not suspected she would find any aspect of the lifestyle remotely to her liking, but then she’d proven herself wrong.
From the first moment she’d watched Faith wielding her whip, she’d seen things through a new lens. Tonight was the first time she’d let Faith flog her, but she’d immediately craved more. It felt amazing. In her warped world, she knew she would relax and some of her stress would lighten if Faith used that whip or the crop on her. She’d seen Faith practice swinging both.
Brooke had no idea how to ask for what she wanted, nor did she have the balls to do so, but indirectly she knew she’d gotten the point communicated earlier because Faith had suggested they use a private room on Saturday.
Three days from now. She had only ever been to Zodiac on Wednesdays—the day she cleaned—and she’d started leaving Zodiac for last, partly by design because it gave her the freedom to stick around when she was done working. It gave her hope. A reason to keep going through the motions.
She knew it wouldn’t last. Nothing ever did. But for now, she had one thing to look forward to, and maybe Saturday Faith would use the whip on her. Would Faith be willing to strike her hard enough to draw blood?
Laundry was a constant problem. She had enough clothes to get through the week each week except for the work T-shirts. She only had two of them, and she washed them out in the sink and hung them to dry after work every day. That way each shirt had more than a full day to dry before she needed it again. She was poor, but she never left the house dirty.
There was a superstore only two blocks from her apartment. She used the store brand of soap and shampoo and every other thing she needed. In the six months since she’d found herself alone, she had never left the house without a shower and clean clothes. It was the first change she’d made the moment she was on her own.
She had no idea how she was going to manage when she lost the apartment, but she would find a way somehow.
Her stomach growled again, and she closed her eyes and willed herself to sleep. She had to be up at seven to get to work by eight. Most nights that wasn’t a problem. After all, she only worked six hours a day. She had her afternoons free. But, lately she’d been struggling to concentrate very long on anything. If she were completely honest, the real struggle was getting the owner of Zodiac out of her mind.
Carter Ellis. She had his card. She’d flipped it around in her hands for so long the edges were worn. His number was committed to memory. Not that she’d ever use it, but she’d somehow memorized it anyway.
Even though she’d never made direct eye contact with him, she knew exactly what he looked like. He was blond and tan and built like a body builder. According to his card, he worked in construction when he wasn’t at Zodiac. Not surprising considering how fit he was. He surely spent every spare hour at the gym.
She had no business thinking about him at all, but nevertheless, thoughts of him filtered into her psyche often. A gentle giant to her diminutive stature. Every time he’d spoken to her, he’d used a soft tone that made her skin tingle. In her limited experience, men didn’t speak so calmly.
She had absolutely no reason to trust him, nor did she trust him, but he made her heart beat faster both times she’d seen him, and he’d awoken something inside her she should not be examining. Even giving him real estate in her brain was dangerous. She knew better than to let herself be captivated by a man. Nothing good could come of it. She needed to shake him from her mind and avoid him at all costs.
That could be difficult since he always seemed to be at the club when she was there. Was it a coincidence? Surely the man didn’t come in because she was there. That was absurd. Unless he didn’t trust her, and he thought he needed to be there to make sure she didn’t steal anything. That was far more likely.
It also infuriated her. She’d never once stolen anything in her life. Not even when she was hungry. Never. She knew she was poor and had nothing of value in her world, but she was a good employee. She did her job well and had never broken anything at any business or taken so much as a paper clip.
Calm down, Brooke. You’re making this stuff up. No one accused you of stealing.
Another matter crept into her mind. Faith had asked her if she wanted to do a scene when the club was open. Brooke had declined for several reasons. For one, she was not a social person. Large crowds made her nervous. Her heart raced and her blood pressure rose. She had no ability to make conversation with people, and she hated when someone addressed her directly.
For another thing, it would embarrass her for anyone to know she was even considering a role in the lifestyle. It was one thing to communicate her needs to Faith, but opening that up to other people wasn’t on her radar.
Thirdly, she had no money. She knew the club dues were way out of her price range. If she had that kind of money, she would pay the rent. She hadn’t mentioned it to Faith yet, but she felt like she was already crossing the line by letting the woman work with her after she finished cleaning because she was not officially a member. Chances were, this thing she had going with Faith wouldn’t last much longer. Faith would grow bored of helping her, and eventually the financial aspects would catch up with her.
And lastly, there was Carter. It was one thing to run into him when she was there cleaning, but it was another thing entirely to have to converse with him in a social setting or greet him at the door. Never going to happen.
She wished the flogging earlier would have purged him from her system. A warning of sorts that she needed to get her head straight. Men were trouble. But Carter was still occupying her mind. Perhaps if Faith had struck her harder or whipped her, Brooke would have been able to shake images of him.
Maybe next week…
The idea of taking things further made her body warm.
Flopping onto her back, she blinked at the ceiling again. Her foray into BDSM was a lucky break that fell into her lap by coincidence and had a finite lifespan. All she could do was soak up everything Faith offered and wait for the bubble to burst.
Chapter 5
For the next few weeks, Carter forced himself to stay out of Faith’s arrangement with Brooke. He didn’t say a word when he noticed that Faith silently paid a membership fee for Brooke, although he suspected Brooke knew nothing about it.
In truth, he never would have asked for the fees. For one thing, he didn’t get the impression Brooke would ever come to the club when it was open, so the point was moot. For another thing, he suspected she wasn’t exactly rolling in cash.
Either Faith simply felt better about covering Brooke since they were using the club in off hours, or Faith planned to lure Brooke into coming when the club was open. Either way, Carter kept his mouth shut and added Brooke to the books.
So, it was an incredible surprise when Carter looked up one Wednesday night to find Brooke entering the club. He nearly tripped over himself as he stammered a greeting. “Hey.” He forced himself to keep his words to a minimum, not wanting to scare her any more than she already appeared to be.
She nodded without fully lifting her gaze, as usual. She was wringing her fingers together as she stepped closer to him. “Um, Faith suggested I come in when the club is open and watch. That’s okay?”
“Of course. You’re welcome here any time. You have full membership privileges. You can watch or participate any time you want. Would you like me to give you a quick tour?”
She hesitated a moment, considering his proposition as if he’d suggested they go fuck in one of the private rooms. She even took a step back.
He wanted to kick himself for not keeping his sentences brief.
Finally, she nodded. “That would be nice. Thanks. Is Faith here?”
He shook his head, and then realized she couldn’t see him, so he cleared his throat. “No. Not tonight.” No way in hell was he going to tell her where he thought Faith was tonight. If she wasn’t
freaked out already, she would be if she found out what Carter suspected—that Faith was with Rowen.
Carter was a good judge of people. He spent enough time watching the members come and go from the club that he could read most people in a heartbeat. He would bet anything Faith was not simply a Domme. Not that she wasn’t good at it. She was one of the best he’d ever watched. The entire club came to a halt to watch her perform. But Carter suspected she was either a switch or lying to herself.
He’d seen her leave the club with Rowen the previous Saturday, her entire demeanor demure and submissive. Not a trace of dominance. He wouldn’t call Rowen out on it, but Carter believed Rowen was dominating Faith in secret.
If that was the case, and if Faith decided to commit to Rowen, where would that leave Brooke? Carter shuddered to consider the implications.
The important thing was that Brooke had just agreed to allow Carter to give her a tour, and he had no intention of squandering the opportunity. After a quick glance around, Carter spotted his employee Aaron nearby. “Hey, can you watch the front for a bit?”
“Of course.” Aaron didn’t say another word as he took Carter’s spot at the top of the stairs, manning the entrance to the club.
Carter wiped his hands on his blue jeans and forced himself not to touch Brooke anywhere as he pointed toward the entrance to the main room. “After you.”
Shocking him, Brooke spoke again. “Is Faith okay? She cancelled our earlier appointment. I thought maybe she was sick or something.”
How the hell was he supposed to address these concerns? “I don’t think she’s sick. Something just came up.” Like Rowen’s cock.
“Good. I mean, I hope everything’s okay.” She moved slowly into the club and then stopped, still speaking to the floor. “She encouraged me to come in when the club was open. I thought tonight was as good a night as any.” Suddenly, she jerked her gaze upward and to the left.
She didn’t look at him directly, but it was the first time he got to see her eyes, which were indeed a deep green like a natural spring. He swallowed his reaction. Damn, those eyes would bring a man to his knees. Perhaps she knew that, and it was why she never met anyone’s gaze. Doubtful.
She nibbled on the bottom corner of her lower lip for a second and then opened her mouth to speak. “Don’t I need to pay a fee or something?”
Carter searched quickly through his mind for an answer. “No. You’re covered. You’re practically an employee here. Employees don’t have to pay membership dues.” Good one. He was proud of himself for coming up with that on the fly.
“Okay.” Her brow scrunched adorably for a moment before she took her beautiful face away from him again to watch her feet. Tonight was the first time he was seeing her without her uniform T-shirt on. She still wore jeans, but instead of tennis shoes, she had on a pair of black flats. They were slightly scuffed, but they looked comfortable. She also wore a black blouse. It was too big on her and hung off her shoulders, but he got the impression this might be the best outfit she owned, which pissed him off for some reason.
He barely knew this woman, and yet he felt protective of her in a way that defied logic. He hated that she might not have the funds for a carefree shopping trip or possibly even a decent meal, judging from her weight and the way her clothes fit her. His instinct also told him she was humble and would be horrified if anyone tried to help, especially since she had asked about the membership fees.
He needed to speak to fill the silence. “So, you know every inch of this place better than most members, of course, but being here in the off hours when the lights are on is totally different from the ambiance of the club in action.”
“I see that.” She faced the main room, folding her arms under her chest. He knew she wasn’t cold. The night was warm and the inside of the club was kept at a comfortable temperature to accommodate the fact that many members often wore little to no clothing when they played.
Which meant her stance was closed off. Not shocking.
She flinched when a whip whooshed through the air to their right and then seemed to stop breathing for a moment as she turned to watch a Dom warming up. His submissive was naked and facing the St. Andrew’s cross. Her wrists were secured to the X above her head, and her feet were spread wide with her ankles also strapped to the lower corners of the X.
Carter knew the Dom. He was one of the employees. Tyler. He was doing a demonstration tonight. At least Carter knew his scene would be safe and a good one for Brooke to watch, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t have a trigger reaction to watching someone get whipped.
If his instincts were correct, Carter felt more confident than ever that Brooke had been abused. Abused women often didn’t handle some scenes well. He knew BDSM could be therapeutic for some abuse survivors, but he was not the least bit qualified to make this judgment for Brooke, especially since he knew very little about her actual circumstances.
Brooke inched toward the scene as if drawn by a magnet. Carter wasn’t sure she even realized she was moving. Panic gripped him. Brooke was hard to read, but he felt an incredible concern over her reaction. If there was any possibility she had been abused, he wasn’t sure she could remain quiet and not interrupt the scene.
But she surprised him. She stopped along the outer wall, leaving plenty of space between herself and the scene, and then she watched, riveted by Tyler’s movements.
No. That wasn’t it at all. She never even glanced at Tyler. She kept her gaze pinned on the sub. The woman swayed back and forth with every crack of the whip even though Tyler had not touched her once.
He was performing a bit of a mindfuck. The submissive was blindfolded.
Brooke flinched every time the whip whistled through the air, but she kept her arms crossed and leaned against the wall. Carter wasn’t sure she was fully aware he stood next to her. She was transfixed by every movement of the sub.
Carter kept his gaze on Brooke, fear creeping up his spine. Fear mixed with a certain level of sadness. He was no longer afraid that Brooke would inadvertently interrupt the scene, but now he was nervous about what watching a woman being whipped would do to her emotionally.
He’d give anything to have a window to her past, to know what she’d been through in her short life. He knew from her paperwork that she was twenty-two years old, ten years younger than him. Under normal circumstances he would be certain he had lived through more, endured more, and suffered more than someone a decade younger than him.
But not Brooke. In some ways, perhaps he was right, but he had a feeling she had experienced far more than him and lived through a level of suffering no one would be envious of.
Carter had fought in several tours overseas in his eight years of military service. He’d seen a great deal of death and destruction. Images of humans being blown to pieces would haunt him for the rest of his life. Visions of women and children dead in the streets of the towns they had once loved were burned into his mind.
What about Brooke? What had she seen? What had she endured?
Brooke was transfixed by the scene in front of her. She’d watched Faith practice with her whip on several occasions, but this was the first time she would witness someone swinging it at a living human.
She found herself intrigued in a nearly perverted way. She wrapped her fingers around the material of her blouse at her throat and held it tight while the man with the whip scared the living daylights out of the blindfolded woman secured to the cross.
She knew the man’s name was Tyler. She’d heard several people mumbling his name around her before she’d completely blocked everyone out to concentrate.
It seemed like she was on the set of a horror film where the stupid girl opens the door to see what’s on the other side, only to get killed. Brooke had a similar sensation. She should turn away, rush down the stairs and out the front door. She should never have come here on a night when the club was open. Worst idea ever.
A part of her knew her entire world was about to change. She would not
be the same person after she watched this scene. For good or bad, she would be altered. And there was no telling which direction things would go.
As if she were watching a train barreling into the depot too fast to avoid the unexpected cars already on the track, she couldn’t look away. She was aware that Carter stood close to her, but she ignored him, focusing on the woman on the St. Andrew’s cross, still wondering how on earth anyone would subject themselves to an intentional beating, while at the same time wishing she was that woman.
She knew she wasn’t normal, that her way of looking at things was warped. But there was no way to change her past, a past that shaped her future and landed her right where she stood now.
When Tyler lowered his whip and approached the woman, Brooke was fascinated to find him soothing her with a hand on her back. He whispered something in the submissive’s ear that made the woman nod several times.
He was completely in control when he stepped back and lifted the handle of the whip. This time when it whizzed through the air, the tip of it hit the submissive’s butt, raising a red welt.
The woman arched her belly forward as if she could somehow avoid the contact, but she only had a few inches of wiggle room. And besides, something else was off.
Brooke didn’t blink while she watched Tyler strike the woman again about two inches lower than the first welt. It was at that moment Brooke realized what was odd. The woman didn’t scream. She didn’t even struggle. In fact, she moaned. As if the entire scene was enjoyable.
Brooke grasped her blouse tighter. A lifeline of sorts. She held her breath, totally mesmerized by the performance. It was a choreographed dance, Tyler moving back and forth behind the woman like a stealthy panther stalking its prey. His legs crossed over each other perfectly, his knees bending each time he lifted his arm.
The only reason Brooke took her gaze off the submissive for even a moment was to absorb the intensity that was Tyler. Before she could be lured into his web, she jerked her gaze back to the woman. Her butt cheeks were now covered in thin lines. Red welts that would hurt and make it difficult for her to sit down for a few days. There was no blood, however.
Collaring Brooke (Club Zodiac Book 3) Page 4
