“A good girl,” he suggested.
She smiled. “Yes.”
“You’re not alone. Lots of people turn to BDSM after abuse of some sort. It can be cathartic. Relaxing. Somehow imitating the abuser’s method of absolving you of your perceived crimes.”
She nodded. He made so much sense. “That’s exactly it.” Her heart raced. She was mentally exhausted from purging herself of her entire life, but physically she was shaking with the need to experience what he suggested. “Would you do it for me?”
He held her gaze. “Now, you mean?”
“Yes. Please, Carter. It’s like an itch. My skin is crawling with the need to feel that pain. Now that I’ve experienced it, I want to do it again. I’ve never felt so relieved and alive as I did every time Faith worked with me. From the moment she first struck me with her flogger, I knew.”
She couldn’t read his expression, but he was clearly considering her request. “I’m not sure it’s the right thing to do. You’re so fragile. There are a lot of things I’d like to do with you, but it’s hard for me to reconcile causing you pain.”
She lowered her gaze, setting her forehead on his knee. “Please. You’re the only person who can do it. You’re the only person I would ask.”
His hand was on the back of her head, fingers working absentmindedly through her hair. It felt so good. So right. Relaxing. “I’ll make you a deal.”
She blew out a breath. She’d make nearly any deal.
“Try submitting to me my way first. If you don’t feel the same euphoric release from my type of dominance, then I’ll give you what you need.”
Slowly, she lifted her face. “I’m not sure I fully understand what ‘your way’ entails.”
A wry grin spread across his face. “I’m asking you to submit to me sexually. Let me make your body hum until you come so hard your vision blurs.”
She sucked in a sharp breath and leaned back a few inches, her hands on his knees, her face flushing hot. “You want to have sex?”
He shook his head. “Nope. I won’t even take my clothes off. I want you to have sex.”
She cocked her head to one side. “What does that even mean? I’m pretty sure it takes two people to have sex.”
He shrugged. “Semantics. Many people would argue that what I’m going to do to you would constitute sex. I won’t use my cock to penetrate you—not today anyway—but I will make you wish I had.”
If it was possible, the flush grew hotter. It spread down her neck and chest. Her stupid body responded to his words, irrationally coming alive. She’d never craved anything sexual in her life until she met Carter, and lately it had been happening with more and more frequency.
You’re twenty-two years old. Your mother was wrong about a lot of things. Maybe she was also wrong about sex. Maybe it wasn’t a bad thing to let a man touch her. If any man was ever going to touch her, it would be Carter. She trusted him.
He waited patiently while she thought, his hands covering hers and squeezing. “You don’t realize this, but I’m going to tell you over and over until you believe me. You’re so damn sexy it takes my breath away. You can’t even hide it. Not with the loose jeans and not with the baggy T-shirts.”
He was right. She didn’t believe him. “I’m too skinny.”
“Did your mother tell you that?”
“She’s the reason for it. She said men liked women with bigger breasts and a better figure. That’s why she monitored how much I ate. She insisted it was safer if I wasn’t attractive. Men wouldn’t bother me if I didn’t give them a reason to.”
He cringed. It looked like he wanted to punch something for a moment, and then it passed and he inhaled slowly. “Your mother was wrong. For one thing, looks aren’t the only thing that draws two people together. I’m not going to deny that I did a triple-take the first time I saw you because I thought you were stunningly gorgeous, but what really drew me into your web was getting to know you. Your kind spirit. Gentle manner. Loving heart. Hell, you’re struggling to feel anger toward that blasted boss of yours, and he fucked your mother for money.”
She flinched. Surely it wasn’t quite as ugly as Carter suggested.
“That’s basically what happened.”
She nodded. “Okay. Maybe. But if it weren’t for him…”
Carter narrowed his eyes. “Enough about Zellerman. Let’s close that door and never look back.”
“Good plan.”
“Back to my point. I’m so attracted to you that you’re automatically gorgeous in my eyes. I’m gonna stuff you full of food because I want you to be healthy and I never want you to go to bed hungry again, but I don’t care a bit what your dress size is.”
“I told you I’ve put on weight in the last few months.”
He sighed.
She smiled. “I don’t know how much, but my pants are tighter.”
“How did you keep them on before?” he half joked.
She lifted her shoulders. “I managed.”
He shook his head, his expression going serious. “Submit to me.”
She considered his request again. She had concerns. “What if I can’t, you know, uh…”
He grinned, cupping her face. “You can.”
She closed her eyes. “You don’t know that. I’m broken.”
“You’re not broken. Every time I mention anything sexual, your body jumps to attention.”
At that sentence, her body did exactly what he suggested.
He leaned closer, tipping her head toward the floor. His lips landed on her ear, tickling her with his breath. “Submit to me.”
“You promise if I don’t like it or it doesn’t work, you’ll punish me instead?”
He kissed her neck. “I’m not going to use a whip on you if that’s what you mean. But I will spank you if you still think you need it after I make you come.”
She flinched, a gasp escaping her lips. Her traitorous body came to attention too. She started to believe he could do it, but would it be enough? “What if I need both?” she boldly asked.
“Then I’ll give you both.”
“Okay,” she whispered as consent.
“Trust me?”
“Yes.” She didn’t know why. It wasn’t even rational. She had only known him a few days, but she also realized she knew him better than anyone else alive.
“Good girl. Now, I want you to do as I say. Submit to me fully. I’ll make the decisions. Your only job is to obey them.”
She shuddered.
“You’re doing fantastic already. I love how responsive you are to my voice.”
He couldn’t see her face with it tipped so far to the floor, but she bit her lower lip to keep from making a sound.
“What safeword did you use with Faith?”
“Red.”
“You want to keep it?”
“It’s fine.”
“Red if you need me to stop. Yellow if you want me to slow down.”
“Okay.”
He stood and circled behind her. When his hands landed on her shoulders and pulled them back a bit, she slid under his control. It was that easy. Did he realize it?
His fingers trailed down her arms, and he gently pulled them behind her, tapping one to get her to clasp her wrist.
She did as he wanted.
As his palms slid back up her arms to her shoulders, she shivered. He wasn’t kidding about her breasts. They always got heavier and lifted on her chest when he put her in this position. She found she wanted him to touch them. She craved it. How had she come so far in such a short time? She’d done a one-eighty.
Next, his hands were in her hair again. “Lift your head a minute so I can pull your hair back.”
She followed his orders, staring at the couch while he ran his fingers through her curls. Her eyes slid shut. Her lips parted, and before she could stop herself, she let out a soft moan.
“Oh, baby, I like that.”
She pursed her lips together, slightly embarrassed. “I like it when you pl
ay with my hair.”
“I know you do. And I’m going to do so often.” He kneeled behind her, continued to divide her hair into sections, and then braided it down her back. Where he got the hairband, she had no idea, but he produced one.
As if he read her mind, he answered her unspoken question. “A good Dom always has hairbands in his pocket. If I have nothing else with me, I at least have rubber bands.” He held her shoulders again and leaned closer, speaking against her ear. “I love how your porcelain skin flushes when you’re aroused.”
Was she? Aroused? Oh yeah.
He nibbled a path down her neck, tugging the collar of her T-shirt to continue a few more inches to her shoulder.
She leaned her head to the side to give him better access. His lips felt amazing on her skin. Surprising her again, he massaged her shoulders, his firm hands loosening the tight muscles.
“That feels so good.”
“Wait until I get my hands on the rest of your body. You’re in for a treat.”
Somehow her body must have been taken over by an alien being, because the thought of him massaging her entire body made her sex quiver.
He laughed.
It was really annoying that he could read her so well.
Rising onto his feet again, he reached for her biceps and gave a slight lift. “Let’s move to the bedroom. I want you to be comfortable. This floor is hard, and the couch will be awkward.”
She stood on wobbly legs after kneeling so long, but an edge of fear crept up her spine at the idea of going to his bedroom. It felt safer submitting to him in the family room.
He set his mouth on her ear again. “Don’t panic. The location changes nothing. I’m still going to keep my pants on. But you’re going to be more comfortable on my bed than the carpeted floor.”
“Okay.” With her hands still clasped at her back, she followed him. She hadn’t been in his room yet, but he never shut the door, so she was aware of what it looked like. It was unavoidable. It loomed in her line of sight every time she exited the guest room across the hall.
When they entered, he stepped away from her to pull the comforter to the foot of the bed. She was going to have to dig deep to continue down this path. Her complete lack of experience scared her to death. She worried about what he would think. What if she didn’t react in the way other women did? She had a legitimate fear about embarrassing herself or disappointing him.
To tamp down her nerves, she focused on his room. The furniture was mahogany—dresser, bedside tables, head- and footboards. Everything matched. The furniture in the guest room was white, but it matched too.
She stared at his bed next, the sheets were dark gray, the comforter navy. The carpet beneath her feet was also gray.
Carter sat on the edge of the bed, facing her. “Come here.”
She slowly inched forward. This was it. Sort of. He’d promised not to take his pants off, but he’d made it clear he intended to do everything else to thoroughly claim her body.
She was apprehensive, but also curious. When she got within a foot of him, he reached out for her and pulled her closer. “Relax your hands at your sides. You’re gripping them so tight you’re going to have sore fingers.”
Letting them fall to her sides made her feel more vulnerable for some reason.
At her shiver, he rubbed his hands up and down her arms. “Close your eyes. Concentrate on relaxing into my touch. You don’t have to watch.” His enormous hands eased to her back, and he rubbed them up and down, drawing her closer.
She enjoyed his touch, and he was taking things slow enough that she wasn’t in a panic.
Suddenly, his hands were at her waist, gripping her hips. His thumbs stroked the skin just above her jeans, reaching under her T-shirt. And then he flattened his hands under the edge of her shirt, the warmth from his palms directly on her waist making her crave more of his touch.
He took his time, though, shocking her with his ability to drive her desire higher every step of the way. When he finally eased his hands up her sides and smoothed them around to her back, she was beside herself with the desire for more.
And then her shirt disappeared between one heartbeat and the next, whipped over her head and tossed to the floor before she could process the movement.
She pursed her lips, wondering what he saw and how he reacted.
Again, he knew her mind. “Look at me, Brooke.”
She blinked her eyes open to find him staring at her face. His hands were on her again, holding her steady at her ribcage. But his thumbs were moving, stroking the undersides of her breasts.
He lowered his gaze to her chest, his breaths shallow as he licked his lower lip. “Damn, you’re beautiful.” His voice, so sincere, was undeniably reverent. He meant every word. He was not just saying that to make her feel good.
He truly found her attractive.
“I’ve wanted to see what you keep hidden under those baggy clothes for weeks. You’re even better than my imagination.” He slid his hands around to cup her breasts, and she gasped at the initial contact, swaying closer to him. When his thumbs brushed over her nipples, they tightened beneath her bra.
For the first time in her life, she wished she was wearing something sexy. Lace and silk instead of a sensible white cotton bra and panties.
Carter didn’t seem to care, though, and it hardly mattered since the next thing he did was unclasp the fastener in the front and draw the straps down her arms until the white, utilitarian bra fell to the floor.
His pupils dilated as he drank her in. She decided it was much less nerve-wracking to watch him undress her and see his expression than to hide behind her eyelids, guessing what he was thinking.
When he cupped her breasts again, his palms on her bare skin, she gasped. This time his thumbs came in direct contact with her nipples. That was the moment she believed him. Her body was on fire. A tight ball was growing in her stomach, coiling tighter by the minute, needing release.
He continued to play with her nipples until she had to glance down to see what they looked like. She was shocked to find the tips firm and darker than usual. The globes were also swollen and didn’t look nearly as small in his hands as her imagination conjured.
“Perfection,” he whispered. Growing bolder, he molded her breasts in his palms and squeezed gently, and then he pinched both nipples between his thumbs and fingers.
She came up on her toes, straining closer. A soft moan escaped her lips.
“Oh, yeah. So perfect.”
When his hands smoothed down her belly, leaving her breasts wanting, she almost begged him not to stop. But there was more to come, and she was curious about the rest too.
He went straight for the button on her jeans, popping it and then lowering the zipper. “Kick your shoes off, baby.”
She rushed to use her toes and heels to remove the flats as his hands slid inside her jeans, easing around to cup her butt. She lost her balance and reached out to grab his thighs as she swayed too far forward. Mimicking the way he’d touched her breasts, he molded his palms to her butt.
Before she had fully accepted his touch, he hastened to shove her jeans down her legs and used his foot to finish getting her out of them.
She lost her nerve for a second, crossing her arms over her chest as the cool air of the room reminded her she now wore nothing but a pair of panties in front of a man.
She fought the sound of her mother’s voice in her head, shaking it away. It didn’t belong here in Carter’s bedroom.
He closed his fingers around her wrists and tugged. “Hands at your sides. Do not cover yourself.” His tone was commanding. It brought her back to center. As she lowered her arms, he met her gaze. “Good girl.” He gripped her chin with two fingers, holding her face in front of his. “Do not hide from me. You’re a beautiful woman. I’m going to convince you of that until you know it in your soul. Keep in mind that you’re supposed to be submitting to me. You don’t do anything unless I tell you to, understood?”
She
nodded as much as he would allow her. The reminder calmed her. It was much easier to give herself to him if she did it in submission than if she let herself try to control things.
“Deep breaths.”
She inhaled and exhaled several times.
“Eyes on mine.”
While she stared into his deep-blue eyes, he released her chin and lowered her panties down her legs without looking. “Step out.”
She kicked them off, but she thought she might hyperventilate.
“Breathe, baby. In. Out.”
She followed his instructions, calming under his command.
“That’s a girl.”
Wetness. Heat. A pulsing need between her legs. Totally foreign.
His hands were back on her waist, smoothing up to cup her breasts again. “Hold still for me.”
Hold still? She was about to crawl out of her skin and he wanted her to remain still?
Another wry smile. “That’s your job right now. Don’t move. Just feel. Let me explore.”
She wasn’t sure her legs would hold her up, but she dug her toes into the soft carpet to steady herself, swaying slightly when his thumbs brushed over her nipples again. Her mouth fell open. “Carter…” She didn’t know what she intended to say next. Stop? Please? More?
Overwhelmed with sensation, she concentrated on breathing while he continued to push her to new heights.
When he leaned forward and flicked his tongue over her nipple, she came up on her toes again. “Feet flat on the floor.” He lifted his gaze. “Would you rather I restrain you so you don’t have to work so hard to remain still?” His eyebrows rose. He was serious.
A flutter took over her belly all around the tightness. She’d been restrained only one time, and that was Saturday night when Faith cuffed her hands to the spider web before she used her whip. It had been oddly freeing to be unable to escape the “punishment.”
“Brooke?” He was waiting for an answer. Holy cow.
She licked her lips. “Um…” Her chest pounded. She found she liked the idea, but she also felt strange asking to be restrained while he tormented her sexually.
His hands rubbed up and down her sides from her thighs to her breasts, over and over, warming her, bringing her to new heights. He waited.
Collaring Brooke (Club Zodiac Book 3) Page 14
