by J. L. Berg
“Me, too. Who knew you were such a softy under all that crap,” I joked. I knew he loved his wife. He’d loved her since the moment he saw her enter the crowded bar we’d be hanging out at all those years ago. He’d told me that night she was his future wife. I thought he was just drunk, but damned if he didn’t do it.
“Well, I have a reputation to uphold. Can’t let everyone know what lies beneath all this,” he said, making a grand sweeping gesture over his physique. We all groaned, and I asked if he was finished.
“One more thing. Don’t leave the toilet seat up. They hate that.”
I shook my head and laughed and we all clanked our glasses together in a half-assed toast. I checked my watch and swore time had frozen. Not even an hour had passed.
Longest. Day. Ever.
“How about you, Mr. Finnegan,” Colin said, “Got any advice for my boy Logan?”
He was silent for a moment, staring into the empty beer glass in front of him.
“Never go to bed angry and don’t sweat the small stuff. You never know what tomorrow will bring, and life is too short to worry about things that don’t matter. When I had my stroke, do you think I sat in that hospital bed worrying about whether the house chores would be done or the trash would be taken out? No, I thought about my wife and children and how much I wanted to fight so I could spend another day with them by side. You have a fight ahead of you Logan, don’t waste breath on things that aren’t worthy of it.”
“Thank you,” was all I could manage. I stuck out my hand for a handshake but he instead pulled me into a bear hug. I’d never had a loving father. I didn’t know how to interact with one. Tom, along with Clare and the rest of her family, were showing me what it was like to have a family and a place to call home.
My future was bright and full of infinite possibilities because of her, and if the clock ever decided to move again, she would be my wife in just a few short hours. Nothing could keep me down. Not even cancer.
~Clare~
“Breathe, just breathe,” I chanted. My heart was running a marathon in my chest and I was convinced it would soon explode from my ribs roadrunner style, headed straight for the altar to get to Logan first.
Now that I had that picture in my head, it was nearly as romantic as I had originally thought.
“Are you nervous?” Leah asked, standing beside me in her knee-length coral dress that accented her bronze skin and honey blonde hair perfectly.
“No, I’m ready. Like really ready. Why are we still back here?”
She snorted before answering. “Because you still have fifteen minutes before the ceremony is supposed to start. You have to allow the rest of the guests to be seated.”
“What guests?” I asked impatiently. “The only guests that are here are family, and the wedding party. How can they not all be seated by now?” I huffed.
“Alright, Clare-bear, let’s re-do your makeup and primp a little. We need to get your mind off the clock, otherwise you’re going to explode.”
I nodded in agreement. I really was going to explode. Logan was out there in his tan suit, probably standing at the altar with the deep blue ocean serving as a backdrop behind him. He was waiting for me, and I didn’t want to make him wait anymore. I wanted to barrel down that aisle and hear the minister say husband and wife so I could scream to the world that he was all mine.
Leah dabbed, blotted and glossed my lips until she was satisfied, and then put all of her tools away in her little clutch bag that she’d stowed just inside the door we were about to walk out of. The wedding was not on the beach, but it was as close as we could get without having to make all our guests sink in the sand with their nice shoes on. The hotel had a beautiful garden patio with an almost surround view of the ocean. At the very edge was a grassy area where we’d set up chairs and a gorgeous flower covered altar. Nothing else was needed. The view took care of the rest.
Everyone else was either seated or being seated. It was just Leah, Ella, Maddie and me. We all grasped hands and tried not to cry.
“I love you guys,” I said.
“We love you, too, babe,” Ella said. “Thank you for loving Logan, and for bringing him back to us. You’ve completed him, and I’ve never seen him so full of life.”
I pulled her into my arms and we hugged. I was so grateful Logan had friends that had cared for him through everything. Even in his darkest points when he pushed everyone away, Colin and Ella had stayed.
I kneeled down to my beautiful daughter who was just as excited as me, but when she jumped up and down, it was cute. Kids got off so easy.
“Are you excited baby?” I asked, and she gave me a huge nod, over exaggerating every movement.
“After you’re married, can I call Logan my Daddy? Do you think Daddy would be mad?”
The tears I’d been trying to hold back let loose down my cheek and I pulled her into my arms.
“No, baby. I think Daddy would love that. Logan too. No one said you couldn’t have two daddies, right?”
She pulled back and nodded, “Right. I can’t wait to tell him!”
I turned to Leah who was holding back tears. She was my rock. She’d been with my almost every day of my life, for as long as I could remember. She’d been my protector, the sister I never had, and the shoulder I needed when everything fell apart.
“I wouldn’t be here without you. You know that, right?” I said.
“You would have found your way eventually. I just gave you the push you needed to get you here quicker. The love you and Logan share isn’t a coincidence. I’m convinced you would have found each other over and over until you realized you were destined for each other.”
Squeezing her hand, I asked, “And what about you? You don’t need to put your life on hold for me anymore. Start living again, Leah.”
She gave a faint smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes, “I will, Clare-bear. I am. Don’t worry about me today.”
After one last hug, the coordinator the hotel provided came by and gave us the go-ahead.
It was time.
Maddie went first, holding her little basket of flowers. She was very serious about her flower girl duties and held off on dropping any petals until the right time.
Ella went next, clutching her small bouquet of island flowers in her hand.
Before Leah was given her go-ahead, she turned around, gave me a quick wink and a kiss on the cheek, and she was gone.
“Didn’t think you were going to walk down that aisle without your old man, did you?” my father said, coming to stand beside me at just the right time.
“I knew you’d make it,” I said, giving him a sideways grin.
“I knew you three needed some girly time, so I hung back in the hallway. But now you’re all mine. I love you, baby girl.”
My lip quivered and every minute spent with my father in my childhood came roaring back. The skinned knees when he was teaching me to ride my bike, the yelling matches and frustration when I got behind the wheel for the first time, and that moment when he caught Ethan and I in the kitchen and realized I wasn’t his little girl anymore.
“I love you too, Daddy.”
He held out his arm and I took it and we were on our way, down the path toward Logan and my future.
~Logan~
“Breathe, just breathe,” I silently chanted, as I caught my first glimpse of Clare walking down the path with her father.
She was a vision. Covered in lace that fit her like a glove, her dress blended old with new seamlessly. She had left her hair down and under the sun, it shimmered with the fiery red glow I loved. There was too much of her to take in at once, and my eyes were everywhere, trying to drink in every detail. I wanted to remember everything, sear it into my memory so I’d never forget the emotions that were welling up inside me.
“Marry Me” by Train was being strummed softly by a lone guitarist as she came towards me. Our eyes locked and everyone disappeared. I barely noticed when her father placed her hand in mine, still unable t
o believe this was my life. This woman was here. To marry me.
I heard a soft chuckle and I looked up briefly to see Tom shaking his head and taking his seat beside his wife.
The minister cleared his throat and Clare and I finally tore our eyes apart and turned our attention to him.
“I think we should begin, don’t you?” he asked, and Clare and I both looked at each other and nodded. Apparently the world disappearing around us hadn’t gone unnoticed.
“I do. I absolutely do,” I said.
“I haven’t gotten to that part yet,” he laughed.
“Well, then hurry up,” I joked, which earned a few laughs from the guests.
The minister welcomed everyone and began with a reading. It was a quote or a passage about love. I honestly didn’t listen. It was something Clare and I had picked out and I remember it being beautiful. But seriously, how could I focus on anything when Clare was standing in front of me?
I did hear him say vows, and that’s when I started to pay attention.
“Clare and Logan have chosen to recite their own vows, and will do so now.” He turned to Clare and gave her the go ahead. She nodded, turned back to me and gave me that shy smile I’d fallen in love with.
“You once said you didn’t think you were capable of love—that somehow that ability was lost on you. You were so afraid to let us in, scared that you wouldn’t be able to give back what we could so freely offer. But I’ve never known anyone more capable of love than you Logan. It shines through in everything you do, and there is no one on this earth I would rather be binding myself to than you.”
I didn’t deserve her. Standing there, hearing her speak, I knew she was so much more than I deserved and exactly what I needed. She completed me in every way.
She took a deep breath and continued, “I promise to love you a little bit more each and every day. I promise to hold your hand, even when we’re old and frail. I vow that no matter what life hands us, I will stand by your side, ready and willing to face the challenges that lie ahead. I will always try to make you laugh and promise to share my dessert with you—maybe.” Her lip curved into a small smile, and she laughed which only made her more beautiful.
“But more than anything, Logan, I promise you will always have me. All of me. Everything I have is yours. You are my family, my future and my forever.”
I wanted to kiss her. I’d never wanted to kiss her more, but before I had the chance, a throat was clearing again and it was my turn. My turn to pledge myself to this woman. For eternity, and I couldn’t wait.
“I should have gone first. I should have gone first because I can barely speak after that. I’ve forgotten everything I was going to say. You rendered me speechless and I have been in a constant state of awe since the moment I looked into these mystically green eyes. You bewitch me, captivate me, and propel me to be a better person. I was an empty shell until you showed me what love was.”
I had written vows, and memorized them. It had taken me days, and I done nothing this morning but pace my hotel room reciting them. And now, nothing. I was just a rambling, gushing mess of words. But, it wasn’t pretty speeches and memorization that made a vow. It was what came from the heart, and suddenly forgetting my page-long vows didn’t seem so bad.
“I promise to always make you pizza whenever you want. I will never leave the house without first kissing you goodbye and promising chocolate on my return. I will always put you and Maddie first in my life—you two are my life. I vow to spend every day of my life proving to you that the promises you just made to me were worth it—that we’re worth it. I promise to always play the guitar for you when you have trouble falling asleep. I will never sweat the small stuff or allow the sun to set with anger in our bed.” I gave Tom a meaningful look and he nodded. Repeating the words she said to me, I said, “You are my family, my future and my forever….and I will walk with you wherever this crazy road called life may take us.”
Her hands tightened around mine and tiny tears trickled down her cheek. I reached up and gently wiped them away.
“Now that Clare and Logan have said their vows, they will now exchange rings. Rings are a symbolic representation of the love between a husband and wife. As a ring has no beginning or end, your lives are now joined in one unbroken circle, for love that is given comes back around again. May these rings you exchange today always remind you of the vows you have taken today and of the promises that have been made.”
We had no ring bearer, so Colin and Leah served as our official keeper of the rings. Leah stepped forward and handed Clare my ring, and gave us a teary eyed wink.
Clare took the ring in her right hand and positioned it over my ring finger before saying, “With this ring, I give you my heart, soul and unending love. With this ring, I marry you.”
She slipped the cool platinum band down my ring finger, and our eyes locked. It slid into place and I felt like a missing piece of my soul had just returned.
Colin tapped my shoulder and handed me the ring that I would place on Clare’s finger. It was simple and handmade to match her antique wedding engagement ring. Repeating the same process, I took her left hand and positioned the ring and said, “ With this ring, I give you my heart, soul and unending love. With this ring, I marry you.”
Her eyes followed my movements as I slid her wedding ring down her slim finger.
“Now that they have recited vows and exchanged rings, I only have one thing left to do,” the minister said and I grinned.
“You have made lifelong promises of love and faithfulness today, sealing yourselves to each other for all the days of your life. By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife.”
Turning to me, who was no doubt grinning like a fool, he said, “You may now kiss your bride.”
He didn’t have to tell me twice. I closed the small gap that separated us and kissed my wife. Our lips met and, like every time I kissed Clare, it felt like the first time. I wove my fingers into her hair and deepened our kiss, forgetting that there were about fifteen people around us, including my brand new mother- and father-in-law.
Better save some of that for later.
I reluctantly pulled away, just enough that our foreheads still touched, and I could feel her damp cheeks against mine.
Laughing slightly, our minister said, “May I introduce, for the first time, Mr. And Mrs. Logan Matthews!”
I liked the sound of that.
~Clare~
I was really starting to regret the idea of a reception.
I loved my family and friends, but honestly…I wanted them all gone. Now.
Logan and I were married. Finally.
I wanted nothing more than just him and me and an endless amount of time to spend naked in a bed.
But I was the one who wanted a reception. Logan had said he didn’t want anything after we said I do except me. Naked. I’d told him we needed to respect our family who’d flown out for the event, so he grumbled and agreed. We’d planned a small reception, opting out of many of the traditional things done at a larger wedding. Just a meal and cake was on the schedule for tonight, but I knew it would still be forever before we got out of here.
I hated that he was right all the time.
I didn’t have a watch, but I was assuming it would be at least three hours before we could get out of here. After that, we had an entire week of vacation. We weren’t calling it a honeymoon, because we had decided to include Maddie. The grandparents had all offered to take her for a week, but this had originally been our vacation, until we switched into our wedding celebration. We didn’t want to kick her out of her own vacation. Plus, we were a new family and Logan was a new father. We not only needed time as a couple, but time as a family.
So, we were having a honeymoon, plus one. We could have a real honeymoon later. We still had our own bedroom and had activities planned for Maddie so we could have alone time when we needed it, but this felt right. We didn’t know what our lives would be like in the next few months, and
spending as much time together as possible sounded like the best option.
“I was right, wasn’t I?” Logan whispered into my ear, returning with a glass of champagne from the bar.
“About what, dear husband?” I asked innocently.
“Mmm…say it again,” he growled.
“Husband?”
“Yes.” He wrapped his arms around my hips and pulled me forward. “I like that. A lot.”
“I can tell,” I said, sliding my hand down his backside.
“Clare…,” he warned.
“Yes, husband?”
“That’s it. Meet me in the hallway, just over there,” he said, pointing to my right, “In three minutes. Three minutes Clare.”
I looked at him a bit amused. “Where are you going?”
“I’m going to cash in a favor.”
Before I could ask him anymore, he was gone.
I didn’t have a watch. How the hell was I supposed to tell when it’d been three minutes? I started counting in my head, one-one-thousand, two-one-thousand….and made my way around the small room, smiling and hugging as I continued to count in my head. I was just hoping no one asked me anything, otherwise I’d lose count. I was up to eight-nine.
“Honey, where did Logan run off to?” my mother asked, breaking my concentration.
Crap.
“Oh, um…I don’t know. Probably to loosen up his tie, or check on the hotel room maybe?”
Had it been three minutes yet?
“Ah yes. We moved some of Maddie’s things into our suite for the night, so she’s all set. Are you two staying in the honeymoon suite?”
“Yes. I told Logan it wasn’t necessary. We already had a room…two actually. But he insisted, so I relented.”
“Well I’m sure it will be perfect.”
“Yes, it will be,” I said, just as I saw Logan dart his head in and search the room. His gaze settled on me and I knew my three minutes were up.
“I’ll be right back, Mom,” I said, not bothering to hear what she said after that. The look Logan had just given me was scorching and I had to hold myself back from running out of the room.
