Ready to Wed

by J. L. Berg

  "Because it was just a tiny bit. Like a dribble. It could have just been a little pee."

  I frowned at her. "So, you're saying you peed in our bed?"

  She threw her hands up in frustration, "I don't know! I should know, right? I'm a freaking OB nurse. I should be like the calmest fucking pregnant woman on the planet. Shouldn't I know whether I'm peeing or not--ohh!" she said suddenly, and jumped out of bed. She made a mad dash to the master bathroom, and I was on her heels, following close behind.

  I round the corner of the bathroom and found my wife, sitting on the toilet...peeing? The trickling, water sound instantly made me want to back out of the room, run and close the door. We were married but still in the honeymoon, first year phase. I wasn't exactly ready to stand around and watch her pee like it was a theater show.

  "Ahh...are you peeing?" I asked, rubbing the back of my neck with my hand as I stood there in my boxer briefs.

  She looked up at me, and I swear I saw Satan.

  "I. Am. Not. Peeing," she answered, very slowly with a voice I could only describe as demonic.

  "Oh. OH!" I said, as it finally dawned on me that that trickling water sound was actually amniotic fluid, not urine.

  My first thought was relief. At least it wasn't pee, because damn....that was the longest pee I'd ever heard. And I was a dude.

  My second thought? Holy shit, is my baby going to fall out into the toilet?

  Then smart, sensible Declan took over and I realized that wouldn't happen.

  Probably.

  Okay, I may have backed out of the room, called the hospital to let them know Leah's water had broke and perhaps asked the doctor.

  Whatever, it was my first labor and delivery. I wasn't lucky enough to be present at my son's birth so I had absolutely no idea what I was walking into.

  When I slipped back into the bathroom, the steady trickle had reduced to a dribble and Satan had thankfully disappeared.

  "Hey babe," I called the hospital. They said to bring you in. I'm going to grab your bag, and the clothes you had laid out. Do you want me to do anything else?" I asked sweetly.

  Please don't hurt me.

  "No, I'm okay I think. I'm just going to stay here so I don't make a mess. Thank you. I love you," she said, looking up to give me a soft, sincere look of devotion.

  She melted me. Still. With one glance. It didn't matter how many pregnancy hormones she threw at me or devil eyes she gave me. One look like that and I was on my knees thanking every deity under the heavens for bringing a woman like her to such an underserving man like me.

  Gotta get to the hospital.

  I sprang into action, turning on my heels and running into our bedroom as I made a mad dash for the overnight bag we'd packed weeks ago for this very moment. I grabbed the clothes and shoes she'd picked out just in case we had to run to the hospital, which it appeared we did. Within seconds, I was back in the bathroom.

  I set the bag down and slowly helped her get dressed.

  Pulling her shirt over her head, our eyes met and I stole that one second to grab her chin and kiss her briefly.

  "You ready for this?"

  She smiled, "I've never been more ready."

  I slung the bag over my shoulder and helped her down the stairs, shaking my head and chuckling as I convinced her that there really were the same amount of stairs as the day before.

  "Are you sure? I swear there were less yesterday," she huffed, as we made it down to the bottom.

  "Nope, actually I added a few more after you fell asleep just to fuck with you."

  "I knew it!" she said.

  We got to the door, and I stopped, feeling like I was forgetting something. I paused, and then simultaneously, Leah and I both turned to each other.

  "Connor!" we both said.

  I turned to run up the stairs towards his bedroom, but Leah called after me,

  "He's not here! Remember, we dropped him off at Clare and Logan's last night after baseball practice."

  My heart still pounding, I turned back around. "That's right. Okay. Is it weird that he has sleepovers with Maddie? Aren't they a little old for that? I mean, he is my son after all." I said, thinking out loud.

  Leah gave me a look, arching her eyebrow in disbelief.

  "Right, going into labor. We can worry about that later."

  I helped her into the car, and dropped the bag into the back. We were flying down the road in minutes. I called Logan, and let him know we were on the way to the hospital. He said they'd tell Connor the happy news in the morning and bring him over when we were ready to introduce him to his baby sister.

  "How much do you love this car?" Leah asked, as we merged onto the interstate.

  "Why?" I asked.

  "Because I pretty sure I'm leaking amniotic fluid on your car seats right now.”

  "Babe, I don't give a flying fuck about the car," I answered, reaching over to take her hand in mine. I pulled our joined hands to my lips and kissed each one of her knuckles.

  "I just want you at that hospital. Preferably before that baby is born," I added.

  We pulled up to the entrance of the Emergency Room, and I jumped out, running around to the other side of the car to pull open Leah's door.

  I slowly eased her out of the car and pushed the car door shut when my foot. I wrapped my arm around her and held her hand. We made our way into the ER, through the automatic doors and passed a janitor as he pulled up the "wet floor" sign signaling that the floor was now safe to walk on.

  Suddenly, Leah gripped my hand harder, stopped dead in her tracks and squeezed until my fingers turned white. The contractions had started.

  "Breathe babe," I said, turning so I could face her. I ran my free hand up and down her arm trying to relax her. Her eyes clamped shut and every muscle in her body was tense and rigid. She pushed through and after several seconds, her body relaxed and I saw the blue of her eyes staring back at me.

  "You okay?" I asked.

  "I think so. And holly hell, contractions are no joke."

  I once again wrapped my arm around her shoulder and we proceeded to the check in counter. Since this was the hospital Leah worked at, she was recognized immediately.

  "Is tonight the night, baby girl?" the older woman at the check-in counter asked. I didn't recognize her, and her name tag didn't ring a bell, but Leah was well known around the hospital. She was always willing to lend a hand, and cared about everyone. She talked tough but she was nothing but softness on the inside.

  "It is," she answered.

  "Well, we better get you on up then."

  Leah nodded, and shifted slightly. I felt her tense.

  "Another one?" I asked.

  "No," she answered. "I'm leaking again."

  I looked down and she was indeed dribbling. Right on the freshly mopped floor of the Emergency Room.

  ~Leah~

  Fire.

  That's what contractions felt like.

  A burning fire in my nether regions and all I wanted to do was cry.

  Oh wait, maybe I'd already done that.

  Why, why hadn't the anesthesiologist come to give me the happy drugs yet? I hadn't planned on a natural birth. I'd been in enough delivery rooms to know in advance that this shit hurt.

  But, wow. Witnessing it and feeling it were two very different things.

  When the contractions came, my stomach would hardened into a stone like mass and that fire I felt burned up my spine like a motherfucker. Add a bag of pitocin to speed everything along thanks to the gift of my water breaking in the middle of the night and it was like straight-up hellfire.

  Oh shit, here came another one.

  I clamped down on Declan's hand again and bless him, I hope I hadn't broken anything yet. He ran his hands along my forehead and kissed my cheek.

  "It's okay, I'm here," he said, bending down which allowed me to wrap my arm around him and bury my head into his shoulder. I'd discovered after the first few that this was the position I liked best when the waves of pain came-
-buried into the warmth and security of my husband. No amount of breathing or Lamaze would ever steady or calm me more than the feel and comforting smell of Declan. He was my anchor.

  My nurse, a coworker of mine, popped her head in as the contraction started to pass. Seeing my coworkers working but not working alongside them was odd. Maybe I should have rethought this whole birthing plan.

  "Hey hun, how are you feeling?" Trish asked, her genuine warm smile reminding me I was amongst friends. Friends who would take care of me.

  "Wouldn't mind a little spinal action right about now," I answered, attempting a faint smile.

  "I'm calling him again. Don't worry, he'll be here in five minutes if I have to go down there and drag his ass up here." Okay, maybe not such a bad birthing plan.

  Within three minutes, both a smug looking Trish and the doctor arrived. My contractions were coming a bit more frequently and after they'd gotten me hunched over and swabbed my back, he started the process of the epidural. About halfway through, I felt the burn start up, and I whimpered slightly.

  "Declan, I'm getting another one."

  He was already at my side, holding my hand. I saw his eyes flare with panic as he looked over my shoulder. He glanced up at Trish.

  "We're going to have to keep her steady. He's already started."

  There was no timeout. No waiting for the contraction to pass. Nope, that doctor just kept on doing what he was doing while I was expected to hold completely still through blinding pain. The fire seared up my spine and I gritted my teeth and let my head fall. Declan held onto my right side, and Trish took my left.

  I whimpered through the pain, and as it lessened, the two of them were given the green light to release me. I saw Declan's fist instantly tighten in anger towards the doctor for causing me such trauma.

  "Well, you're all done," the doctor said behind me, and I would have sucker punched him right alongside my husband for making me go through that, but then something magical occurred.

  The epidural kicked in and it was blissful.

  Every muscle in my body that had been rigid from pain suddenly relaxed.

  I felt instantly relaxed for the first time since I woke up that evening.

  God bless the epidural.

  I was six centimeters, almost completely effaced and I was going to take a nap. For the next hour, I dozed in and out, letting my body rest and prepare for what was to come.

  I'd seen every type of birth imaginable in my career as an OB nurse, and I'd found that woman were strong and incredibly fierce creatures. Did I think any less of myself for not going through with my labor naturally--hell no. I was delivering a child. No matter how it was done, the immeasurable strength of our gender was shown in this one singular act.

  Every once in a while, epidurals seem to have this funny effect on women--I've seen it before when caring for patients and after my pleasant doze in dream land, my doctor noticed it as well.

  "Leah, you're almost at ten centimeters," she announced as I groggily opened my eyes and watched her finish my internal exam. This part always made Declan super uncomfortable. For being such a man whore in his former life, you'd think the sight of one woman feeling up another wouldn't bother him, but I think the hospital setting shut off anything sexual and made him flee to the other side of the room.

  "What? That's too fast, I'm not ready," I said, looking up at Dr. Pace, someone I'd worked with for years and been lucky enough to call a friend. When it came time to pick a doctor for this little surprise baking in my belly, there was no question as to whom I'd trust with the health of my unborn child.

  "Well, sweets...I'm afraid you don't have a choice in the matter. Like most moments from here on out--your little one is making that choice for you."

  Declan was already by my side, taking a firm hold of my hand as he bent down to press his my lips to mine.

  "Everything is going to be okay, Leah," Declan comforted, but as I watched the words tumble out of his mouth, his face began to distort and blur.

  "I don't feel so good--"

  ~Declan~

  Leah's eyes disengaged and her words dropped off mid-sentence and at that moment, I felt my heart plummet to the floor.

  "I think she's about to pass out!" I yelled. Just as I began yelling, alarm bells rang from the millions of monitors hooked up to my wife and unborn daughter.

  I couldn't breathe.

  I looked at the monitors and saw spikes and red warnings flashing.

  Trish and Dr. Pace began methodically and quickly silencing alarms and hooking up more tubes into more machines. Seconds later Leah had a mask over her mouth and I let out a strangled gasp, knowing I could do nothing to help.

  "Declan."

  I couldn't tear my eyes away from her. What if something happened to her--to both of them?

  "Declan," Trish called out my name once again and this time I turned.

  "She's going to be fine. Her blood pressure bombed. She's breathing oxygen now, and she and the baby are fine. I'm going to keep the mask on her throughout the rest of the delivery."

  "She's okay?"

  She placed a soothing hand on my shoulder, as I watched Leah open her eyes and turn towards me.

  "Yes, they both are. See?"

  I touched her hand briefly and nodded. "Thank you."

  I rushed to Leah's bedside, grabbing her hand as I brought it to my lips.

  "Seriously, don't do that again. I just saw my life flash before me."

  "And what did you see?" she asked, her voice muffled behind the plastic of the mask.

  "A life without Leah James is no life at all," I answered.

  Her eyes crinkled and glistened. "Well, it's a good thing I'm too strong and stubborn to rid of so easily."

  "Good."

  My amazing wife showed just how strong she was over the next hour as she delivered out daughter into the world.

  When I heard that magical sound of my daughter crying out for the first time after Dr. Pace had placed her on Leah's stomach, I knew I'd found heaven.

  Seeing tears of joy streaming down Leah's face as she cradled our newborn child to her bosom for the first time, it was then that I found nirvana.

  I used to think life was better spent on the sidelines. Don't get attached, don't feel--doing so only brings heartache and pain. It was only when I stepped away from the safety net I'd made for myself and was willing to get my hands dirty that I experienced what living could truly mean.

  Life wasn’t about playing it safe, and it certainly wasn't easy, but I'd take whatever was left for a million more moments like this.

  ~Leah~

  "Seriously, Declan--she just shoved cake up her nose!" I shouted from behind the camera lens.

  "What? This is funny shit--I mean stuff," he laughed. Several of the other men in the family joined in while I pulled my head away from the expensive camera that had been attached to my body since the day Lily arrived home from the hospital and gave him a dirty look.

  His lazy sexy grin killed my death stare on contact.

  Damn it, why did it have to be so hot all the time?

  He sauntered over to me, squeezing between Clare and Logan and several other family members and pulled me into his arms. The camera was taken out of my hands and given to Garrett to resume picture duty.

  "Come one babe. She only turns one once. Let her destroy the cake."

  I looked over at Lily, sitting in her highchair, surrounded by loved ones. Her face was aglow as she messily ate mouthfuls of chocolate cake off her chubby palms. Globs of pink and white frosting stuck to her cheeks, arms and most of her chest.

  "Well, at least I had the forethought to take her out of her dress," I muttered.

  "See--smartest mom ever."

  I smiled as he bent down to place a chaste kiss on my ruby red lips. The wicked look in his eyes promised it was just the prelude to an evening of so much more.

  I turned in his arms and watched as our little girl continued to demolish her chocolate confections. Declan wrapp
ed his arms around my waist and I leaned into his broad chest.

  "You don't have to take five thousand pictures Goober," I said, after hearing my digital camera click for the millionth time.

  "Well, you handed the thing off to me. I just wanted to make sure I was doing a good job."

  "You're doing a fantastic job. You'll be a pro by the time your own kids come around," I said.

  "Yeah, that's never going to happen," he answered gruffly.

  "Oh come on Garrett! You can't be married to work forever. We need to get you out more. Why don't you go out with me one of these days. Oh I know--I'm going to the Farmer's Market next week. Want to come with the kids and me? I see young hotties there all the time."

  "Sure, farmer's market. Sounds awesome."

  I rolled my eyes at his flippant comment. He needed to do something--anything, but sulk in that cramped office of his. He was disappearing more and more as the years dragged on and even though he was closer since moving home from college, somehow we seemed to see him less.

  "You can't force him to have a life Leah," Declan whispered against my ear with amusement lacing his hushed tone.

  "No, but I can nudge."

  "You just can't help but meddle, can you?"

  "Can you blame me for wanting everyone in my life happy?" I turned, grinning up at him as he laced his hands around my waist.

  "And Connor and Maddie? What exactly is that?" he asked, arching his brow.

  "That's just a gentle nudge. They'd make the cutest grand babies."

  "That's kind of fucked up babe--they're kids. Seriously, keep it up and they won't be able to look at each other later on without cringing." His amusement was growing by the second.

  "Nope, you're wrong. I'm just laying the foundation for a beautiful love affair."

  "Uh huh. We will see."

  As if our conversation had summoned the two future lovebirds, Maddie and Connor came rushing by, reaching for cookies and snacks on their drive by through the kitchen.