by Matt Gilbert
A troublesome thought buzzed in his mind like an insect. Perhaps it would be better if she were to fall victim to some wretch. Nihlos would be better served with a competent ruler, would it not? Perhaps it would serve some higher duty if he simply let her go on her way alone.
He cursed himself for such weakness, that such things even occurred to him. It was excuse making, shirking of duty for personal reasons. Perhaps Nihlos would be better off, but it was not for him to say. Wishing her dead was nothing noble. It was simply a personal hatred, a deep disgust with her. It was shameful for a soldier to think of such treachery.
Duty demanded he follow her, protect her, even die for her if need be. But love her, even like her? Duty asked nothing there, save that he hold his tongue.
Narelki had just begun to undress when there came a knock upon her private chamber door. She sighed, and called out in a stern voice, “What do you want?”
Slat’s voice, muffled by the door, called back, “A visitor, mistress.”
Narelki scowled in annoyance, and immediately regretted it. Her face scowled back at her from her vanity mirror, showing far too many lines. It was considerably better when she showed no expression at all. “Send them away. It is late.”
Slat persisted, his voice strained. “Madam, it is the Empress.”
Narelki frowned at this news, and saw more wrinkles at the corners of her mouth. Mei! This can’t be good. She forced the frown away with some effort, banishing the wrinkles for the moment. They will return soon enough. “See that she is comfortable in the library and tell her I will be out shortly.”
“It will be so, madam.”
Narelki sighed and began dressing again, thankful that her hair was still proper. The timing was a nuisance, but it could have been worse. She checked her appearance in the mirror one last time, then, satisfied, made her way toward the library, her mind filled with questions about what might have led to this unannounced visit.
Nothing she imagined compared to the truth. Kariana was a wreck. What is she wearing? It looks like something Aiul would use for surgery. The empress was slouched over the arm of the couch in a most undignified pose, covered in blood and sobbing. Has she been raped?
Slat stood by, stiff necked and obviously irritated. Narelki was pleased to see he had, as usual, thought ahead, and had covered the couch with a sheet. “She is quite inconsolable, Mistress. I can offer her no comfort. She only spoke once, when she asked for you.”
Narelki waved him away. “Leave us.” Slat moved to obey, but she changed her mind. “Wait. Bring water. And liquor.”
“What sort?”
“I don’t care. Just do it quickly.”
Slat nodded and went to do as he was bid, and Narelki turned to her visitor. “If it is something you would not speak of in front of a man, he is gone.”
Kariana opened her mouth to speak, but choked on the words as she sobbed. She blew her nose into a rag she held clutched in her hand. Please keep any bodily fluids to yourself!
Narelki was uncertain which was more revolting, the filth or the wretched weakness. “Stop this mewling and tell me what has happened,” she commanded. “Were you raped?”
Kariana shook her head. No.
“Robbed, then?”
Again, no.
“And you still don’t see fit to vocalize your problem? Has your tongue been torn out, or are you really this pathetic?”
That seemed to have the desired result. Kariana’s eyes flashed with rage, and she slurred, “It’s your son who’s pathetic!”
Narelki blinked in confusion momentarily, struggling not to reveal her shock. Aiul? What the hell could she mean? And at any rate, the problem was clearly drunkenness and not assault. “You’re wasting my time. If you have something to say, then say it or I shall return to bed.”
“Wretched hag!” Kariana cried. “I am empress! You dismiss me like a whore?”
Narelki felt the edges of her lips tremble as she struggled against laughing out loud, but she managed to keep her face fairly serene. “Really, dear, you are quite the little whore. I should think you would be used to it by now.”
“I’ll kill you for talking to me like that!”
That was simply too much. The laughter burst forth from Narelki’s lips, a series of cruel barks with no real humor. “You are welcome to try any time you like, child,” Narelki told her, her words hard and flat as the edge of a blade. Kariana quailed, the fire in her eyes fading as if doused by cold water, replaced by fear. As it should be.
Narelki pursed her lips in disdain. She’s as bad as Aiul, though much easier to intimidate. “Is this really what you came here to talk about? It matters not a whit to me who you fuck. I’m hardly likely to marry you. Not that anyone else is, either.”
That got to her. Kariana began to bawl again. “He’s already told you and you mock me!”
Narelki raised eye eyebrow, allowing her surprise to show just a bit, to demonstrate her honesty. “No one has told me anything. And as for mocking you, House Amrath has ever given true, honest counsel to House Tasinal. Calm yourself and explain.” She clapped her hands and looked about in annoyance. “Slat! Where are you?”
The old slave opened the library door and entered immediately. “Awaiting your call, madam.”
Narelki nodded approval. “Serve us and leave again, please. I’ll call for you if I need you.”
Once Slat had closed the doors behind him once again, Narelki turned an icy stare upon Kariana. “You have something to steel your nerves. Get on with it.”
Kariana swigged vodka, grimaced, and cast her eyes down in shame. “I offered him everything.” She turned pleading eyes toward Narelki. “Everything! And he turned me away.”
Narelki raised a hand to her temple and massaged it as she sighed in frustration. “And you’ve come to ask for me to intervene? Mei, you really are confused.”
“You’re his mother! His House Elder!”
“And I have had this very discussion with him before, for all the good it did.”
Kariana’s face lit up with hope. “About me?”
“About anyone of some decent birth, but he would hear none of it. And, yes, your name was mentioned. He was quite clear that he would not even consider the matter.”
Kariana’s face fell once again. “But why? We always had such a wonderful time together before.”
Narelki rolled her eyes. It’s not an act! She really is this stupid! “I believe it was the ‘whore’ thing.”
Kariana leapt to her feet and hurled her disgusting rag at Narelki. It flew far wide and landed, miraculously, in the trash bin. How fortunate. Now even Slat won’t have to touch it. “Fuck you!”
Narelki shrugged. “I shall have to decline that offer. I prefer my partners have some discretion.” She suppressed a scowl of disgust as Kariana began weeping loudly once again. It wouldn’t do to alienate her now. This was important after all, and it behooved her to tolerate this nuisance for the moment.
Narelki felt a dull anger begin to creep into her mind as she listened to the Empress of Nihlos blubbering like a school girl. Even now, these long years past since Narelki’s fall from grace, she still thought in old ways, still looked upon such behavior as pathetic, worse than useless. Aiul was right about Kariana. He was far too good for this creature, whatever blood ran through her veins. Was it any wonder he refused her?
How unfair the world was, that a beautiful, proud, brilliant man like Aiul should be condemned to the periphery while a toad like Kariana sat upon the throne. And for what? Tradition? She spat upon the notion. Tradition was a crutch for weaklings and fools.
Even as the thought occurred to her, she felt ill, knowing the source of her own deep philosophy, but unable to deny it. It was a part of her, even if she was no longer a part of it.
Her anger notched higher as Kariana prattled on. The Empress of Nihlos was on her knees, offering Aiul the throne, and he, blinded by an infatuation for a commoner, was fool enough to throw it all away. Why could he
not see that once he had power, he could rid himself of this creature and take any woman he wanted? She was but a stepping stone to his destiny!
Narelki knew all too well how emotion could blind one to necessity, make one hesitate at a critical moment. And such hesitation was like a loose thread on a fine garment. Time would work at it, unravel it until there was nothing left.
She realized that she could not permit this to occur. She had ruined her own life with such idiocy. Now, these long years past, she was watching history repeat itself with Aiul, but there was a crucial difference. She had not had the benefit of a wiser soul looking out for her. But Aiul did.
I am his mother. I must protect him from himself.
Kariana’s trip home was as blurry as her vision. She wasn’t quite certain just how she managed to find her way to her private chambers, but clearly, she had done so, as she found herself there. She had just begun to undress when there came a knock upon the door. Kariana ground her teeth at the intrusion. “Fuck off!” she shouted.
A woman’s voice, muffled by the door, answered. “Kariana? At you all right?”
Kariana’s anger fled from her in a flash. She recognized the voice, and it was an unexpected balm for her soul. It was Marissa, her one true friend. She hurried to the door and opened it, not bothering to cover her breasts. “Oh, Marissa! I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was you! I’ve had such a dreadful day! Come in.”
Marissa was a fat, mousey girl, not the sort that anyone would call pretty, though hardly hideous. She stood briefly in the halfway, her uncombed brown hair dangling over her hunched shoulders, hesitant. Her eyes, magnified by thick-lensed glasses, seemed uncertain as to whether she had heard correctly. After a moment, she smiled, revealing crooked teeth, and shuffled forward to embrace her friend.
“I heard terrible things,” she sighed as she embraced Kariana. “I was so worried about you!”
Kariana felt more tears begin to well in her eyes. What a wonderful feeling it was to hear such things, to feel such regard, after all she had been through. She hugged Marissa tightly for a moment, then stepped back and took a seat on her bed, gesturing for Marissa to follow.
Kariana felt a sharp pang of guilt as Marissa joined her. She had always regarded the girl as a sister, if an ugly, ungainly one. The girl moved like a zombie at times, and Kariana had harbored any number of hateful thoughts in her mind about her, selfish, cruel thoughts. She had often counted on Marissa made her look so much better by comparison. I’m the ugly one, to think such things.
Marissa looked at her in silence for a moment, then spoke. “What’s wrong, Kariana?”
Kariana opened her mouth to speak, closed it again and swallowed hard, then opened it again. The words began to pour from her, the stream of pain and humiliation broken only by periods of sobbing. Marissa stroked her hair as she told her tale, saying nothing, judging nothing.
When at last it was done, Marissa smiled and announced: “He’s an idiot. He doesn’t deserve you.”
“I wish I believed that.”
“You will,” Marissa assured her. She smiled again, and reached into her pocket. “I have something for you. Something that will help.” She handed a small packet to Kariana.
Kariana smiled sadly as she opened the package to expose a small cache of crystallized powder. She licked the tip of her finger, dipped it into the powder, and put her finger back in her mouth. The powder dissolved against her tongue, leaving it slightly numbed. Warmth and goodness began to seep into her troubled mind.
“Yes,” she sighed. “I think it will.”
Marissa waited until Kariana’s eyes were dilated and her jaw slack, then reached in her pocket again. “Kariana, will you do me a favor?”
“Of course!” Kariana mumbled. “Anything.”
Marissa lowered her head in a practiced pose of shame and reticence. She threw in a bit of fidgeting to boot. “Maybe it’s not such a good idea.”
“Don’t be silly. If you want it, I want it. What?”
Marissa pulled at her shirt and allowed her face to crease in a display of anger and embarrassment. “Some of the guards….” She trailed off and let out a tiny sob.
“What?” Kariana’s eyes were large and concerned. “What did they do?”
Marissa lowered her voice to a whisper. “Last time, they made me do some things while I was waiting for you. They hurt me.”
Kariana’s face twisted in stupefied, drug addled rage. Good! That’s just what I need! “Mei! Who? Who did it! I’ll have them put to death!”
Marissa smiled inwardly. “I spoke to my elder about it. She wrote a death warrant, but you would have to sign it. But I don’t know, now.”
Kariana’s eyes blazed with righteous anger, even dulled with drugs. “I’ll sign it twice! Do you have it with you?”
Marissa sighed in resignation and produced a document from her pocket, silently congratulating herself at her play. Now she thinks it is her idea. Kariana snatched the paper from Marissa, struggled to her feet, and staggered across to her desk. She flailed about briefly for a pen, then smiled gratefully when Marissa pulled one from her pocket and presented it to her.
“Bastards!” Kariana hissed as she scratched her name on the document. “Scum! Elgar take them!”
Marissa took the signed death warrant and placed it back in her pocket, then gently guided Kariana back to her bed.
“You should rest now, Kariana.” Marissa stroked Kariana’s hair again as the empress slowly settled back against her pillows. Before long, Kariana’s breathing grew steady and deep. Shortly thereafter, she began to snore.
Marissa pulled a blanket over Kariana, then went back to the desk and rifled through the papers there, but found little that she did not already know about. The Empress was poor at keeping secrets. It was fortunate for Nihlos that not every House was too self absorbed to monitor what this incompetent was up to. Without us, the fool would have already run the city into the ground.
Marissa took the death warrant from her pocket and examined it. The signature was a scrawl, but verifiable. The three names marked for death were unimportant. They weren’t even real people, as far as Marissa knew. They would be replaced in short order with the real ones: eighty some odd guardsmen who knew too much for their own good.
With a self-satisfied smile, Marissa slipped the death warrant back into her pocket and blew out the candles. She would receive a commendation for this, she was certain. House Prosin always took care of their own.
Chapter 6: Conflagration
“This will not stand!” Aiul roared. “Someone will die screaming for this!”
Narelki inclined her head imperiously. “You are in the Library of Amrath. You will show proper respect for the Great Father.”
Aiul sneered at the notion. “The Great Father be damned!”
“I will not tolerate such talk here. If you must have a tantrum, then there are plenty of other rooms in this house.” She raised an arm and pointed toward the doors. “Not here. This is a place of reason.”
Aiul regarded her with a scathing glare, his hands clenched into fists, and said through clenched teeth, “If you define cold blooded plotting as ‘reason’, I suppose.”
“You are testing my patience, child.”
“And well I shall! Spare me that insipid pose. Amrath was no stranger to rage!”
“Do not presume to lecture me on the Great Father, whelp.”
“I dare what I wish! Grandfather said what made all of the founders truly great was their passion!”
Narelki felt herself tense at this, but kept her fingers gently laced behind her back. “My father was a disgrace to this House, and we will not speak of him.”
“The truth does not change, even when spoken by enemies’.”
Narelki gave him a condescending smile. “A ruse, quoting Amrath to me, not an actual argument. You have yet to establish truth, regardless of the speaker.” She raised en eyebrow. “The wisdom of Amrath is no bomb to be lobbed into a debate without support
.”
“Perhaps. But you are twisting things here, as well. I think he would find your whitewashing his humanity to be the gravest of insults!”
Narelki raised her eyebrows at this. “Now you speak for the dead, eh?”
“Would the Great Father have stood by in meek acquiescence when his family was threatened?” Aiul stepped forward and leaned in, his wild eyes inches from her own. “What would he have done, Mother?”
Narelki stared back at him, ice in her eyes. “He would have mastered his rage, gathered his thoughts, and made a rational plan. Perhaps after smashing a lamp or two, but he would have found focus!” She pushed at him hard, and he allowed it. “Because he understood there is a time and place for all things!”
Aiul ground his teeth and took a deep breath, then gave a great sigh. “That is so.”
She looked at him for long moments, torn. He was so brash, so angry, so willful, but so out of control. Perhaps Father was right. Perhaps we should have trained him. But, Mei, the cost if we were wrong!
She could almost hear her father’s response in her mind, his gravely, pompous baritone correcting her mistakes with merciless truth. Safety is the creed of sheep and slaves.
She could feel the hot tears welling behind her eyes, and she crushed the weakness down with even hotter anger. She would not! “I am your Elder as well as your mother. You are obliged to hear me on both counts.”
Aiul nodded and stared at the floor, his jaw still working in his barely suppressed fury. But he is listening.
“The truth here is that no harm is done--”
“Yet.”
Narelki felt her anger lunging at its chains, and decided it would be appropriate to release it just a bit. “I am still speaking!” she shouted. She paused a moment for her point to sink in. “Lara is a bit worse for wear, that is all. Do you agree?”
“I agree,” Aiul muttered, still staring at the floor. He looked up as he found his argument. “But as it is, she nearly lost the child. If I hadn’t been close by, if I hadn’t driven them away when I heard her cries, they might well have killed her.”
