All I've Never Wanted

by Ana Huang

  “Right.” Roman snorted. “Parker, I think your girlfriend’s cheating on you.”

  Parker stretched his arms over his head. “Bad Maya.”

  “I’m not a dog,” I groused, attempting to kick Roman in the shin, since I couldn’t reach Parker. “And I would never cheat on someone! I’m not—“

  I’m not my dad. The sentence almost slipped out, but I stopped just in time. It didn’t help though, because the others froze. They had all witnessed by breakdown in New York, and they obviously knew what I was going to say.

  An awkward silence fell over us.

  I slunk down in my seat, staring resolutely at the ground. I hoped they didn’t bring it up. I was not ready to talk about it yet with other people.

  Finally, Adriana cleared her throat. “I think we should get going, guys. It’s pretty late and we have school tomorrow.”

  Zack, Parker, and Carlo chorused their agreement and got up to leave.

  As I said goodbye to them, Carlo whispered, “If you ever want to talk, you know who to go to.”

  I nodded, smiling gratefully. He was too sweet.

  In the end, Roman and I were the only ones left in the theater.

  “What was Carlo whispering in your ear about?” Roman asked suspiciously, turning off the movie’s ending credits.

  “None of your business.”

  “I hope you know you’re still dating Parker.”

  “I know that.” Even though I wasn’t sure. I mean, now that my grandmother was gone, were Parker and I still dating…er, fake dating?

  As I was trying to decide, a huge yawn escaped, followed by another one. And another one.

  Roman raised his eyebrows, and I smiled sheepishly. “Um…can you show me to my room?” I asked. “I’m really tired and I forgot how to get there.”

  “For someone who’s supposed to be so good in school, you have a sucky memory.” Still, he began to head down the hallway. “Just be glad I have to go that way anyway.”

  I hurried to catch up. “Is your room near mine?” For some reason, the thought made me nervous.

  “Maybe.” Roman smiled slyly. “Planning on visiting me?”

  “You wish!” I snapped, my cheeks heating up. “I just want to know so…so I can avoid it.”

  “Yeah, well, good luck with that. It’s right across from your room.”

  Great.

  After what seemed like an eternity later, we arrived in front of our respective suites, just as a particularly loud crack of thunder made me jump about ten feet in the air. I grimaced. I hated storms, but judging from the overcast sky earlier, it was going to start raining. Again.

  “Uh…thanks for walking me here,” I said almost shyly. Jeez, what was wrong with me? All that sugar must have short-circuited my brain cells, because I had no reason to be shy around Roman.

  He shrugged. “Whatever. I had to come here anyway,” he muttered, not looking at me.

  I frowned. Right. He didn’t need to be so blunt about it though.

  “Fine,” I huffed, a bit annoyed. “Good night.” I yanked open the doors to my room and, while I didn’t quite slam them, I did shut them hard.

  Once I saw my room, though, I couldn’t help but relax a bit. How could I not, when my surroundings were so beautiful? Of course, I was still a bit paranoid from the movie. I glanced nervously at my bed, remembering the scene where the girl climbed into her bed and lifted up her covers to see that…thing under there.

  Maybe I shouldn’t go to sleep right now.

  After some indecision, I finally decided to take a long, relaxing bath. Another crack of thunder made me jump again, and I flinched when I saw the lightning zigzag across the sky outside the window.

  I quickly pressed the remote that closed the curtains and padded into the gorgeous marble bathroom. There was a whole shelf filled with different bubble baths, shower gels, and bath oils, and I finally settled on a lavender-scented soak.

  As I waited for the bath to fill up, I turned on the sound system so that soft, soothing music piped through the speakers, and stripped down.

  I climbed into the bath and exhaled a peaceful sigh as the bubbles immersed me in their softness. Wow, I need to take baths more often, because this was amazing. I could feel all the tension leaving my muscles. It was almost as good as a massage.

  But, like everything else in my life, the peace didn’t last long, because right after yet another boom of thunder, the lights and music both started flickering in and out.

  I shot up, my heart suddenly pounding. Every hair on my body stood on end. It was like some scene out of a horror movie.

  Oh my god, ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod, I thought frantically, gripping the edge of the bathtub. I’m going to die!

  I am a total idiot, taking a bath after watching The Grudge. This is why I don’t watch horror movies, it’s bad karma! I stared at the bubbles, frozen, as if a creepy dead Japanese boy was going to pop up like it did in the movie.

  And then the lights went out.

  “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!”

  It took me a moment to realize the piercing scream had erupted from my own mouth, I was so distraught. Nearly crying, I scrambled out of the tub, feeling around for the bathrobe I’d thankfully laid right next to it earlier.

  I ran to the bathroom door, adrenaline pumping in my veins, and did the first thing I could think of. I ran out my suite and across the hall to Roman’s room.

  I never stopped to look behind me, afraid that if I did, I would see something I didn’t want to see.

  “Roman! Roman, open the door!” I cried, pounding on his door. “Please!”

  What was taking him so long? Didn’t he know I was this close to death?

  The door opened, and I almost collapsed with relief when I saw Roman’s familiar face, illuminated by the light from his phone.

  “What’s all this screaming?” He looked at me. “And why are you only wearing a bathrobe?”

  Ignoring his questions, I pushed my way into his suite. “She’s after me,” I whimpered, clutching his arm like it was my lifeline.

  He frowned. “Who?”

  “The girl from the movie!”

  Roman just stared at me before he burst out laughing. “Maya, she’s not real. It’s a movie. Besides, we’re not even in Japan.”

  “So?” I shrieked, grabbing his arm even tighter as I frantically looked around his suite, searching for anything suspicious. “She’s not human! How else do you explain why the lights went out right when I was taking a bath? A bath! That’s always where people die in horror movies!”

  “Yeah, and I don’t suppose the giant storm outside had anything to do with the lights going out,” Roman said sarcastically.

  “Now’s not the time to make jokes!” I was nearly hysterical.

  “Maya!” Roman grabbed my shoulders and forced me to look at him. “Calm. Down. Take a deep breath, and count to ten.”

  “But—“

  “Do it!”

  I shut up and did as he asked. Inhale. One…oh my god, she’s right behind me, isn’t she? Two…she’s reaching out a hand… three… I’m going to die…

  No, stop! It’s not real, she’s not real…

  I squeezed my eyes shut and forced myself to finish counting to ten. When I did, I slowly opened them to see Roman gazing at me with amusement.

  “Better?”

  “A little,” I admitted.

  “Can you let go of my arm now?”

  Startled, I looked down and realized I was gripping him the same way I’d grabbed Carlo earlier. “Sorry!” I exclaimed, turning red and dropping his arm like a hot potato.

  “Don’t tell me the great Maya is scared of the dark.” Roman smirked.

  I was never going to live this down. “Whatever. The dark is scary,” I defended myself. “Who knows what’s hiding in the shadows? Can’t you turn the lights back on?”

  “What do I look like, the Wizard of Electricity?”

  “Yeah, well, isn’t Roman Fiori sup
posed to be able to do anything?” I pointed out, striking at his most prized possession: his pride.

  Judging from the scowl on his face, it worked. “There’s a generator, but it’s out back. Everyone’s asleep already, and there’s no use waking them up. Besides, it’s already nighttime. Once you fall asleep, it’ll be fine.”

  I blinked. Who knew he was so considerate towards his staff? I peeked nervously out into the inky-black hall. “Um, Roman,” I started in a small voice. “Can I, uh, stay here for a bit? You know, until the lights come back on?”

  I hated asking him for anything—even though I was staying in his house—but I did not relish the idea of going back to my pitch-dark suite by myself.

  “What if the lights don’t come back on tonight? You’ll be here—“ Roman stopped when he saw the look on my face. “Fine,” he sighed. “As long as you put on some clothes.”

  I wrapped my arms around myself. “I don’t want to go back there by myself.”

  He groaned, muttering something to himself. He moved away from me, taking the light with him, and I automatically followed.

  He opened one of the dresser drawers and pulled out a button-down shirt and a pair of boxers. “Here, put these on,” he said gruffly, tossing them at me.

  I stared at them. “These are clean, right?”

  Roman shot me an annoyed look. “What do you think?”

  Alrighty then. “Can you turn around?” I asked sweetly.

  He scowled but obliged. “I love how you act like this is your room,” he mumbled.

  Ignoring him, I slipped out of my bathrobe and into his clothes. I was immediately enveloped in what seemed to be Roman’s signature woodsy scent, and I couldn’t help taking a deep whiff.

  How could someone so evil smell so good? Although I supposed he wasn’t all that evil, if he was letting me stay here. As long as he didn’t plan to murder me in my sleep.

  The boxers had an elastic waist so they fit ok, though they were a bit big on my legs. The shirt fell to about mid-thigh, higher than the boxers’ hem. I carefully laid the robe over a chair and ran a finger through my damp hair.

  “Ok, you can turn around now.”

  Still grumbling, Roman turned to look at me, a surprised expression flitting across his face when he saw me. His eyes flicked over me, and he stared so long I started getting fidgety.

  “What? Do I have something on my face or something?” I asked, shifting my weight uncomfortably. I hate when people stare at me.

  Roman started a bit, then looked away. “No. Just don’t get my clothes dirty.”

  “I just took a bath,” I huffed. What, did he think I was going to purposefully spill something over his precious shirt?

  Now that he’d agreed to let me stay here until the lights came back on though, I wasn’t sure what to do, so I just wandered over to an armchair near the window and curled up into the plush softness. I was only a little bit surprised when he dropped down into the chair opposite me a minute later.

  We sat in silence for a while, but it wasn’t necessarily an uncomfortable one. Nevertheless, I never did do well with prolonged silences, so finally, I said, “So…what did you get Zack for his birthday?”

  Maybe I can get some ideas.

  Roman actually answered without a hint of sarcasm. “A boat.”

  I gaped at him. “You got him a boat?”

  “Yeah.” He shrugged. “He crashed his somehow, so I got him an upgrade.”

  I gulped. Yeah, there was no way I could afford that. A toy boat, maybe but not a real one. If that was Zack’s gift, I didn’t even want to know how much Adriana’s cost.

  “Her gift is different.”

  I blinked, coming back to reality. “What?”

  Roman looked amused. “I said, her gift is different.”

  “Did I just say my thoughts out loud?”

  He nodded smugly.

  I groaned. Of course that would happen to me. “How is it different?”

  “You’ll see.”

  How helpful. We lapsed into silence again, before I spoke up, again. It was something I’d wanted to ask for awhile. “Roman…”

  “What?”

  “Why were you so nice to me after I…you know, after that scene in New York?”

  It might’ve been my imagination, but I thought I saw him stiffen a bit. He didn’t answer.

  “Is it because you went through the same thing?” I asked quietly. I’d thought about it constantly, and that was the only plausible explanation I could come up with.

  I was probably right, judging by the way Roman’s jaw immediately tensed. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “You know, it helps to talk about it—“

  “I said, I don’t want to talk about it!”

  I snapped my mouth shut, feeling inexplicably hurt. I shouldn’t, I should be used to him yelling and snapping at me, but I still felt hurt nonetheless.

  Roman drew in a deep, slightly shaky breath as he ran his hand through his hair. “I’m sorry,” he said in a calmer voice. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that.”

  “It’s ok.” I ran a finger absentmindedly over the soft velvet of the chair’s arm. “I shouldn’t have pried.” I gave him a small smile.

  “Be careful, or else apologizing might become a habit.” Despite his words, he returned my smile.

  “You’re right, you know,” he said after another prolonged silence.

  I raised my head. “What?”

  “About me going through the same thing.” Roman didn’t look at me. “When I was younger, my dad…well, he was always away for ‘business.’ Sometimes, it really was for business. Most of the time, though, he was off to see one of his many mistresses, and everyone knows it.” His tone was slightly bitter.

  I held my breath, not wanting to say or do anything that might make him clam up again. I couldn’t believe he was confiding in me, of all people, although I supposed I did know what he’s going through.

  Roman continued. “He was never home, and when he was, he just locked himself up into his office all day. My mom turned a blind eye to all his…indiscretions, mainly because she didn’t want to lose her status as Mrs. Fiori, but also because she really does love him. Or did. I don’t know.”

  He stared out the window, an unusually melancholy expression on his chiseled face. “So after a while, my dad got bolder and bolder, and he even started bringing his mistresses home. I walked in on them a couple of times, you know. The first time was when I was seven. I was so young, I wasn’t exactly sure what it meant, so I ran to my mom. She slapped me—“

  At this, I let out a quiet but still audible gasp. His mom had slapped her seven-year-old son? For telling her her husband was cheating on her? What kind of mother was she?

  “—and told me to never speak of it again.” Obviously, Roman caught the horrified look on my face, because he added, “I know what you’re thinking, but it’s not like that. My mom was a fairly good parent, certainly a lot better than my dad, but he just drove her over the edge. She started taking pills, anti-depressants, then added alcohol in the mix. She’s usually boozed or drugged up all the time now. Most of the time, she’s not home either. My dad sends her over to Europe to stay at one of our other houses, to keep her out of the limelight. Being an alcoholic is apparently more shameful than cheating.” Roman’s tone grew more bitter.

  I swallowed, not sure what to say. He looked so vulnerable. It was the first time I’d ever seen him that way, and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t tug on my heartstrings.

  “God, you must think this is just another poor little rich boy story.” The melancholy expression was wiped off of Roman’s face when he turned to look at me. “I don’t even know why I’m telling you this, but…” He took another deep breath. “It feels kind of good to take it off my chest.”

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered, wishing I could say something to make him feel better. I felt so bad. At least I still had my mom. Roman, though, didn’t have either of his parents,
at least not in a way that counts.

  Without thinking, I walked over and wrapped my arms around him. He immediately tensed up.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Giving you a hug.

  “I don’t need a hug.” Apparently, the stony façade was back in place. “And if you tell anyone what I just said, I’ll kill you.”

  I wasn’t even fazed. “Shut up, and just let me hug you, you idiot.”