All I've Never Wanted

by Ana Huang

  James snorted. “Yeah, right. He’s a menace,” he muttered. “You don’t even know what he did.”

  I frowned. “What did he do?”

  He stared at me for a moment before looking away. “Nothing, it’s not important,” he said. “Just—I just don’t like him.” He let out a deep sigh. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you like that.” His next smile was rueful. “Not exactly the way I wanted to end today.”

  “It’s ok, I understand,” I assured him, though curiosity was still burning inside me. “You’re just looking out for me. I appreciate it.”

  “Yeah.” James leaned closer, and I stiffened, thinking he was going to try and kiss me again. And he did—only it was a friendly peck on the cheek. “I’ll walk you to the door.”

  “No need,” I said quickly, my face flushing. Don’t they only do that on dates? “It’s right there. But, um, I should get going. You know, it’s pretty late—“ I glanced at the car clock and winced when I saw it was only nine-thirty. Wow, I’m a loser.

  Luckily, James didn’t say anything. “Ok, hopefully I’ll see you soon.” He gave me another, warm smile. “And if you need anything, don’t hesitate to call me, alright?”

  I nodded, thanking him once again before getting out of the car. When I opened the door, I turned to wave goodbye, and waited until he pulled out of the drive before heading to my room.

  I only got halfway there before something stopped me. Or rather, someone.

  “Where were you all day?” Roman demanded, folding his arms over his broad chest as he stared imperviously down at me from the staircase.

  I sighed, not in the mood for his interrogation. “I was out with a friend.” I started up the stairs, but he blocked my way.

  I looked at him with annoyance. “What do you want?”

  “Who’s your friend? I called everyone, no one’s seen you.”

  “What, are you stalking me now?” I crossed my own arms, mirroring his stance.

  He ignored my question. “Tell me!”

  “For your information, his name is James!”

  “James,” he repeated.

  “Yes, James! Now let me through!”

  “And do I know this James? What were you doing? Were you on a date? Why were you out so late?”

  I groaned. Seriously? “Well, gee, I don’t know if you know him, Roman, why don’t you ask yourself? And no, it wasn’t a date, we just went to an amusement park!” I neglected to tell him James was the same guy he almost fought at Stan’s party all those weeks ago.

  “You went all the way to La Terra?” Roman stared at me accusingly. “With some guy you don’t even know that well? Don’t you know how dangerous that is? You could’ve been raped, or killed!”

  “But I wasn’t,” I snapped. “And for your information, James is a very nice guy.”

  “Yeah, sure,” he sneered. “I bet he is, when he’s trying to get in your pants.”

  What the—of all the—“What are you talking about? He doesn’t!”

  “Did he try to kiss you?”

  I opened my mouth to respond, then snapped it shut, remembering the way James had looked at me during lunch. Telltale pink tinged my cheeks.

  Roman’s eyes turned fiery as he gripped the banister. “He did, didn’t he?”

  “That’s none of your business!” I attempted to shoulder my way past him, but he grabbed my arm and spun me round so I was pressed up against his chest.

  “To hell it’s none of my business!”

  We just stood there on the staircase, glaring at each other, but at the same time, I couldn’t help but feel a bit dizzy from the heat that emanated from his body. I swallowed hard, the warmth of his grip burning my skin, but it wasn’t a painful burn. Far from it, actually.

  My breath hitched as I stared up into Roman’s eyes, which had darkened to an almost purplish-black color, making the gold flecks stand out even more. I focused in on those mesmerizing golden dots, my entire body tingling. The only thing to be heard was the sounds of our labored breathing and the frantic beat my heart was drumming against my chest. That woodsy scent of his snuck through my nostrils, making me feel woozy.

  Sensory overload! Sensory overload! my brain screamed, urging me to turn and flee before I fainted. Or worse, before I…

  “So are you two going to homecoming together now?” Roman’s voice was gruff, and he didn’t loosen his hold on me.

  “No.” I answered without thinking, my voice coming out smaller than I would’ve liked. Homecoming.

  “Really?”

  Was it just me, or did he sound slightly hopeful?

  A random, inane image of Roman and I attending the dance together flashed through my mind. I would be in the dress from Barneys, he would be in a tux. We would walk in and everyone would turn and stare, marveling at how good we looked together…

  And just as suddenly, the image was replaced by one of Roman with some beautiful, bitchy ice queen by his side, and my stomach clenched a little. Oh right. He already had a date.

  I yanked my arm away, effectively breaking the moment. Roman blinked and stumbled a little, as if dazed, while I tried to ignore the sudden chill that enveloped me.

  “Actually, I forgot. I do have a date. I’m going with Carlo,” I blurted, taking satisfaction at the stunned look on his face.

  I sincerely hoped Carlo’s offer was still open. Roman wasn’t the only one who could get a date! And I’d be damned if I was going to stand there all night like some wallflower while the guys waltzed around with their dates.

  “I’m sure you’ll have a lot of fun with your date too,” I added coolly, backing away. “Good night.”

  With that, I turned and nearly ran to my room, not stopping until I’d locked the door behind me. I slid down the wall and collapsed on the ground, breathing heavily.

  For some reason, the image of Roman and the theoretical ice queen remained in my mind, which wasn’t the problem. The problem was why I felt like crying every time I thought about it.

  My eyes widened as I thought back on the past few weeks. The way he'd looked so vulnerable the night of the blackout, how my heart broke for him when he told me about his parents, how I kept unconsciously comparing James to him at the park today. The way I blushed around him and the way my skin felt like it was on fire every time he touched me.

  But no. I hated him. After everything he did, I should hate him. I definitely did. But that didn't explain why I'd been slightly relieved when Parker told me we didn't have to pretend anymore, nor did it explain why a part of me had foolishly hoped Roman would've asked me to homecoming while we were on the staircase.

  There was no way. It defied logic and everything sane. I mean, I didn't—I couldn't possibly have a crush on Roman Fiori, could I?

  I gulped. Oh crap.

  CHAPTER 19

  “So they didn’t kiss?”

  “Nope.” Zack shook his head, popping a Hershey’s Kiss in his mouth and chewing thoughtfully. “I made sure of that.” He looked extremely pleased with himself.

  Adriana couldn’t help but laugh as she pictured her brother yelling “fire” in the amusement park. “I can’t believe you got hauled into police headquarters.”

  Zack made a face. “Security headquarters,” he corrected her. “And it wasn’t a big deal. They let me go once they found out who I was.”

  “Well, I’m glad you did something right for once,” Adriana teased, pulling a Mason Pearson brush through her shining gold locks. She was in an inordinately good mood today. It was as if she knew something good was going to happen, even though it been a normal Sunday so far.

  Zack shot up from where he’d been lazing on her daybed, a wide-eyed look on his face. “Did you just compliment me?” he asked excitedly.

  She rolled her eyes, smiling a bit. “Maybe—ow!”

  Zack had tackled her in a blur of tousled blond hair, nearly knocking her to the ground.

  “And here it starts again,” Adriana complained. “This is why I’m neve
r nice to you.”

  “Don’t lie.” Zack squeezed her hard. “You love me and you know it.”

  “I know no such thing.” Adriana batted him away, but she was laughing. “Are you going to stay in here all night?”

  Zack gave her an offended look. “No. I have very important things waiting for me, you know.”

  “Like your video games?”

  He ignored her. “Just out of curiosity though, who are you going to homecoming with?”

  Her hand stilled, then resumed brushing. “I think I’m just going to go alone.”

  “Really?” Zack’s eyes widened even more. “Why? Did no one ask you?”

  Adriana shot him a dirty look. “People asked me, Zack, I just don’t want to go with any of them.”

  “Oh.” He fell silent, then smiled impishly. “Ok, cool. Well, I’ll see you later then.” With that, he bounded out of her room.

  Adriana frowned, turning back to her mirror. Her brother was just too weird.

  She set down her brush and was just about to grab her lotion when she heard the door open again.

  “I thought you were going to play video games,” she said without looking up, unscrewing the top of her Crème de la Mer. It was supposed to be a face cream but she used it as an allover body moisturizer.

  “Sorry, babe, video games aren’t really my kind of thing.”

  Adriana whipped her head around, trying to mask her surprise when she saw Parker striding towards her. He wore a pale green button-down that brought out the color of his eyes and had his hands stuffed in his pockets. There was small, smirky smile on his handsome face.

  “Ever heard of knocking?” she asked, recovering quickly.

  “Knocking?” Parker raised his eyebrows. “What’s that?”

  Adriana rolled her eyes. “Funny. Zack just left a minute ago. He’s probably in his room.”

  “I know.” Parker leaned against the edge of her dresser and stared down at her. “I didn’t come here to talk to him.”

  “Oh.” For some reason, Adriana’s stomach twisted nervously. It was not a sensation she was used to.

  “Maya and I broke up.”

  She froze, then started applying the cream to her hands with more vigor than ever. “So you finally decided to end the ruse, huh?”

  Parker stared at her in shock. “You knew?”

  Adriana smirked, feeling more like herself. “It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure it out. Everyone knew.”

  He ran a hand through his golden-brown hair. “Roman didn’t.”

  She laughed. “It’s Roman. What did you expect?”

  Parker cracked a smile. “True.” He reached out and fiddled with one of her perfume bottles. “So…who are you going to homecoming with?” he asked casually.

  Adriana sighed. Why was everyone asking her that question tonight? “No one. I’m going solo. Don’t have to be tied down to one guy that way,” she answered flippantly.

  Parker frowned a bit, his green eyes flickering. “Right.” He stared down at the perfume bottle in his hand. “Don’t you want to know why we decided to end it now, right before homecoming?”

  There was something about the inflection in his tone that caused Adriana’s mouth to dry up. “Why?” The word came out as a whisper.

  Parker looked up, locking eyes with hers. She felt a strange sizzle beneath her skin, which had warmed considerably, even though the A/C was still at full blast.

  What are you doing? she screamed to herself. This is Parker. The boy you’ve known since you were both in diapers.

  “I thought it wouldn’t be fair to go with her to homecoming when I really wanted to go with someone else,” he said softly, never breaking eye contact.

  Adriana instinctively held her breath, feeling a bit dizzy. She was feeling so unlike herself it was disconcerting, though not altogether unpleasant.

  “So who do you want to go with?” Her voice came out scratchier than she would’ve liked.

  Parker didn’t say anything for a moment, then he broke his gaze and pushed himself off of her dresser.

  Adriana blinked, disoriented from the sudden loss of contact.

  “I’ll show you.” Parker held out a hand to her.

  She was confused. “What do you mean?”

  “Trust me,” he insisted.

  After only a second of hesitation, Adriana slipped her hand into his, trying to ignore the small jolt that ran through her.

  Since when did Parker make her so jumpy, anyway?

  She thought he was going to take her outside, but instead he led her to her balcony. When they stepped outside into the cool night air, Adriana shivered a bit, and he slid an arm around her in response.

  “What did you want to show me?” Adriana looked around. She couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary.

  “Look down.”

  She obeyed, and immediately sucked in a breath when she caught sight of her family’s Olympic-size pool, which was located right under her balcony. Usually, it was a perfect, pristine blue, but tonight, the water glowed from the dozens of tiny votive candles scattered on its surface.

  Tiny votive candles that spelled out one simple sentence: Will you go to homecoming with me?

  Adriana’s throat suddenly felt too tight, and she gripped the railing of her balcony, unable to look away. For a long moment, no one said anything, and then she breathed, “How—how did you…?”

  She felt more than saw Parker shrug. “Zack’s a pretty good distraction. Plus, I found out you can custom-make just about anything as long as you’re willing to pay.”

  It was getting a bit hard to breathe. “This is for me?”

  Parker spun her around, his face more serious than she’d ever seen it. “For someone who’s supposed to be so smart, you can be so dense sometimes,” he said softly. He was so close she could feel his breath fan across her face.

  Adriana swallowed involuntarily, her heart feeling like it was in the race to win the Indy 500. In the back of her mind, she felt as though she should be insulted, but she wasn’t. It was kind of hard to concentrate, when Parker was staring at her like that…

  “What do you mean?” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

  The green in Parker’s eyes intensified until they were practically smoldering. “Remember that time we were fourteen and went on vacation to France? And you were supposed to go meet that guy but couldn’t because your bike suddenly got a flat tire?”

  Adriana’s breath hitched. “You did that,” she suddenly realized.

  Parker neither confirmed nor denied it. “And remember when we were eight, and I pushed you into the pool? You didn’t speak to me for days…”

  “Until you came over with a bunch of daisies you picked from the yard and an ice cream cone, to say sorry,” she remembered fondly, a small smile creeping onto her face at the memory.

  Parker smiled in return. “Didn’t work out too well. Who knew ice cream melted so quick?”

  She wanted to laugh, but the odd feeling in her throat prevented it.

  “Were you ever upset?” Parker changed the subject abruptly. “When Maya and I were ‘dating’?”

  Adriana’s stomach bottomed out. “No. I knew you weren’t really dating.”

  He eyed her closely. “Not even when we kissed at Il Serrano?”

  Her grip tightened on the railing as she remembered the strange feeling that tugged at her heart when she saw Parker and Maya kiss. She wanted to say no. She should say no, but the word wouldn’t come out.

  Parker sighed, his eyes flickering again. “Adri…why do you think I did all that?” He gestured to the pool.

  She swallowed. “I don’t know.” Even though, deep in her gut, she knew. She just couldn’t quite believe it.

  He sighed again, a strange expression crossing his sculpted face. He stared down at her, gently tilting up her chin with one finger. “Then I guess I’ll have to tell you now.” His voice was so quiet she almost didn’t hear him. “Adri, I’ve liked you since we were both ch
ildren.”

  Her heart nearly stopped.

  “I just didn’t have the courage to tell you, then you went away to Switzerland…” He trailed off.

  Adriana swallowed. “But you’ve had so many girlfriends.”

  “None of them were you.”