"Chattanooga?" I ask, confused as I stop packing my own bag. Why is he going to Chattanooga?
David runs a hand through his hair as he finishes throwing things into his bag. "That's where they are. I...," he takes a deep breath, "I have to go identify the bodies before I tell her. Maybe this is all somehow a mistake." That last word is a whisper, and I reach out to put my hand on his shoulder. David places a hand on top of mine for a brief second before he straightens, zips his bag and heads for the door. Hoping I have everything I need, I follow him out to his car, dreading what the next few days will bring.
"Right this way Mr. Pearson," the secretary gestures towards the principal's office with one hand while eye-fucking both of us as we walk past. Nice lady, real nice. We're here to tell his sister that her parents are dead, and you're trying to figure out which one of us would be the better fuck. David ignores the lascivious look she's giving him, but then again, I'm not sure he's really noticed anything after the phone call last night and the stop in Chattanooga this morning.
When I had to watch the man who's like a brother to me identify the bodies of his parents, it really tore me up. He was quiet the entire drive to the hospital, barely speaking to me or the officer who made the call when we arrived. David decided to go into the room on his own, and when he followed the officer down the hall he looked much younger than our 26 years. They returned after about 45 minutes and David was visibly shaken, his features pale and drawn. It was obvious he'd been crying and he told me afterward that seeing his parents that way was harder than anything he could possibly imagine.
The principal stands to greet us, holding out his hand first to David, then me. "Boys. It's been a long time since you set foot in my office. How are you?"
"We've been better Mr. Parish," I start when David doesn't say anything. He hasn't said much since we left Chattanooga. I can't imagine what he was going through, but I am going to do anything I can to make it easier.
Mr. Parish looks confused, "I'm sorry to hear that. What can I do for the two of you today?" He's studying David, much like he used to when we were in school. It's obvious to him that something is wrong, but because David isn't talking, it's falling on me to speak up.
"Mr. Parish," I begin, before he cuts me off.
"Call me Robert," the principal says, and I nod.
Taking a deep breath, I continue, "Robert then. There's been an accident, and David and I are here to pick up SarahBeth." Telling someone other than SB feels wrong, and I don't want to go into any more details. "Can we borrow your office to speak with her first?"
His eyes, which are filled with questions, dart back and forth between us trying to figure out what's going on. When he hesitates, David finally breaks out of his trance to snap, "Our parents are dead, Robert. Please get my sister so I can tell her what's going on."
Mr. Parish's eyes widen almost comically. If it wasn't for the somberness of the situation, I'd almost be tempted to laugh. Instead, I stand idly by while David stares him down, clearly taking his frustration and anguish out on him. Finally, the principal nods, retreating to the waiting area to have the secretary call SarahBeth down to his office.
"You know she's going to think she's in trouble, right? Maybe we should have just picked her up and explained what was going on when we got home." Sitting here waiting for her just seems wrong somehow. I know this is going to change her world and I want to do everything I can to keep that from happening. It's an irrational thought; because there's no way to keep her safe from the pain she's going to be going through soon. David and I both spent so much time protecting her when she was little that knowingly destroying her is abhorrent. This is the last place I want to be, but I can't leave David and SarahBeth to go through it alone.
David shakes his head wearily. "No, that wouldn't have been any easier. Us being here at all is going to be a shock for her. She's smart, she'll know something is going on, it'll only worry her further if she has to wonder why we've come."
I didn't even think of it like that, I've been too focused on how to best protect her from it even though there's no way to do that.
SarahBeth
It's not even eleven and I'm watching the clock, waiting for the day to end because Mama promised she'd be back in time to pick me up from school. I really wish I was sixteen already, but I still have almost a month before my birthday. I hate having to wait for someone to come pick me up, or bum a ride with Livvie all the time.
While I'm daydreaming about school being over, the intercom crackles loudly before the office secretary's voice booms into the room. "Miss Browning?"
My English teacher rolls her eyes and says with a sigh, "Yes Mrs. Pennington?"
"Can you send SarahBeth Pearson to the office please."
At the mention of my name, the class turns into kindergartners, a chorus of "oohs", snickers and "SB's in trouble". Ugh, that nickname. I hate that nickname! Miss Browning says she'll send me right down before motioning me towards the door. Gathering up my belongings, I squeeze down the aisle to go see what's going on. I've never been called to the office before; I'm usually the last person to ever get in trouble, unlike Livvie. Oh shit... Surely they don't think I helped her.
Putting a hand on my arm, Miss Browning tells me that our homework is just to read the next three chapters in Places in the Heart by the next class. Nodding, I head out of the room and down the stairs to the office. By the time I walk inside, my heart is racing and my palms are sweating. I don't see Livvie anywhere, so maybe this isn't about her. Mrs. Pennington is speaking to someone on the phone so I walk over to wait for directions. Looking up, she smiles gently at me before holding up a finger to signal that she's almost done.
Before she can end the call, Mr. Parish comes down the hallway to meet me; his face full of what looks like pity. His pity combined with the look on Mrs. Pennington's face has me worried. What is going on? Gesturing in the direction of his office he lets me go first. The hallway isn't very long, but by this point, it feels like I'm walking to an execution; my breath is speeding up, my arms are covered in goose bumps that have nothing to do with the late February chill and I have to rub my palms on the legs of my jeans to rid myself of the clammy sweat that feels like it's dripping off of them. It's so gross.
Reaching around me, Mr. Parish pushes open his door so I can go in front of him, but he doesn't enter behind me. I look back at him, but he only gives me a sad smile before closing the door. When I turn back around, a huge grin spreads across my face as I see my brother and then Jeremy sitting in the office.
"DAVID!" I squeal like a little girl, so excited to see them both here I don't even question at first why they're here, at my school, so early in the day. Without waiting to make sure he'll catch me, I launch myself at him, throwing my arms around his neck and squeezing him tight. His arms wrap around me and he hugs me gently which sets off alarms in my head. It's been awhile since I've seen him, but he always hugs me tight. Pulling back, I drop my arms and frown up at him. "What are you doing here? You weren't supposed to be here until my birthday."
Running a hand through his hair, David clears his throat before meeting my gaze. "Come over here and sit down SB. There's something I need to tell you." Between the tremor in his voice, the unshed tears in his eyes, and his reluctance to look me in the eye I'm terrified. Shaking my head, I back away from him, knowing that whatever he's going to tell me isn't something I want to hear.
I've completely forgotten that Jeremy's here until he grasps my arm, pulling me down to his lap. He begins rubbing my back with one hand trying to both comfort and calm me. "What's wrong? What happened David? Why are you here?" My voice is frantic, trembling with my fear.
David closes his eyes tightly before blurting out, "Sarah, there was an accident last night." I know it's serious if he isn't calling me SarahBeth or SB. I'm starting to realize what's happened now, but it's still a shock when he says, "Mom and Dad were on their way to Atlanta and Dad took a curve too fast." David takes a shuddering breath, and
his next words are almost inaudible. "They're gone."
Jeremy stiffens underneath me, shooting a glare at my older brother, obviously unhappy with the way he told me. Shaking my head frantically, I begin to mutter, "Nononononononono." I can't even begin to process his words. This morning, my life was perfect with the exception of not being sixteen, and now he's telling me that I'm an orphan? My parents are dead? I am suddenly so angry, and it comes out in my voice when I yell, "Don't say that David! That's not funny and It's not true!"
"Baby, he's not kidding. We got the call late last night and drove straight here." Jeremy murmurs in my ear while rocking me in his arms. The dam breaks, and I turn my face to his chest, gripping his shirt as I begin to sob. Jeremy's cheek is resting on the top of my head as he whispers soothing words while rubbing my back. This can't be happening to me. My parents? How did this become my life?
A hand touches my shoulder, and looking back, I see David's red-rimmed eyes that look so much like our father's and mine looking back at me. He's crouching on the floor in front of Jeremy and with a choked sob I launch myself at him. He tries to keep his balance, but falls to a sitting position with me in his lap when I wrap my arms around him and clutch him tight. His arms hold me close as he begins to rock side to side, murmuring how sorry he is to have to tell me but that he's going to take care of me. We sit on the floor, my brother and I, as we mourn the loss of our parents and life as we knew it.
"Hey Little Bit. You need to get up." Jeremy's voice is soft as he strokes my hair, brushing it away from my face as he speaks. For just a minute, I'm able to pretend that yesterday's events were just a dream, but reality intrudes quickly. If it wasn't real, Jeremy wouldn't be here right now waking me up. Turning my face into my pillows, I cry softly when I remember my parents are dead.
Keeping my covers in place, he gently scoots me over so that he can lie down beside me, placing his head on my pillow next to mine and turning my face so that we're face-to-face. "Shh SB, please don't cry. I can take a lot of things, but you crying isn't one of them." My smile is watery, but still there. I've missed David and Jeremy, and while the reason they're here sucks, I'm glad I'm not alone. Standing up, Jeremy holds out a hand to help me out of bed. I fell asleep in the clothes I wore to school yesterday which makes me feel dirty and self-conscious, but his gaze never moves from my face. "C'mon kid. Your grandparents will be here soon." Putting his hands on my shoulders, he turns me around before pushing me towards my bathroom. "Get a move on it lazy butt."
The fact that he's treating me like he always did makes me feel a little better. Soon, everyone would be treating me differently; I'd be the girl who lost her parents, the girl who had to deal with death. I'd read enough books to know what that was going to be like so him treating me like I was still normal helped make the whole ordeal a little less tragic, at least to my almost-sixteen-year-old self.
Once I'd taken the quickest shower known to teenage girls ever, I dressed in the only black clothes I could find. Black is for mourning right? So, I put on black skinny jeans with a black and grey striped long sleeve henley, and black sneakers. The only color I had is my wavy blonde hair, but I didn't do anything with it. I couldn't be bothered. I was nervous about how things were going to go when my grandparents get there. I vaguely remembered being in the room when David called them after picking me up from school and bringing me back to the house, but pretty much everything after the words "they're gone" was a blur.
Walking down the upstairs hall of our home, I avoid the pictures on the walls. If I look at the pictures of my parents, my brother and I, I'll lose it completely. I'm sure down the road they'll be comforting, but right now they're just a reminder of everything I've lost in the last 24 hours. When I get downstairs, Jeremy and David are nowhere to be found. The kitchen and den are both empty, but I can hear someone talking, it sounds like David, and it's coming from my dad's study.
I reach the door, but when I hear the anger in David's voice I hesitate. It might make me an evil person, but I don't know much about my brother's life back in Charlotte, so after looking around to make sure Jeremy's not close by, I lean close to listen to his conversation.
"Dammit Amy, I already told you I was sorry for not calling you yesterday. Forgive me for having to identify my parents' bodies, tell my baby sister that they were never coming home, break the news to my grandparents, and start the process of planning their fucking funeral!" By the end of his tirade David's yelling so I no longer have to press up against the door to hear everything he's saying word for word. There's a short pause while she responds, before he snaps back, "Goddammit, what would you have me do? Let someone else tell her for me? Would it have been better for me to let my grandparents do all of this? I don't know what the fuck you expect from me here."
His voice is caustic, and it frightens me a little. I've never heard him speak to anyone this way, and who's Amy? Is she upset that he came to be with me? She must be his girlfriend. There are so many questions swirling around in my head right now, I can't even begin to make sense of it all. David's conversation turns even more heated, and I start to feel skeevy for listening in. I definitely don't want to go into my dad's office, I know I'll smell his cologne and that's just another thing I don't feel strong enough to handle. As I back away, I hear the front door close and Jeremy calls my name. David's voice cuts off abruptly and I know I need to get out of here before I'm caught. Walking as quickly and quietly as I can, I head for Jeremy's voice, which is moving closer to the kitchen now. Concentrating so much on the sound of my footsteps while listening for my brother behind me I don't notice Jeremy's in front of me until I run into him.
"Oof." Jeremy's breath leaves him in a whoosh as he reaches out to steady me before I fall on my butt.
Mortified, I stammer, "Sorry! Ohmigosh I'm so sorry!" Flushing all the way to the roots of my hair, I attempt to disentangle myself from him and end up falling on my rear end anyway. Before I can dwell on that, David walks into the kitchen with a "don't even ask" look on his face. Jeremy reaches down to pull me up as he gives him a questioning look, but my brother just shakes his head with a quick look at me. "Um, do y'all need me to leave so you can talk?" Obviously, he doesn't want to talk about whatever it is in front of me, and since I Can't exactly tell him I already heard at least part of what's going on, I'm acting like a brat.
"Don't be stupid," David says, narrowing his eyes. "I just don't want to talk about it." Reaching into the bag Jeremy brought in, he takes out a biscuit and walks back towards dad's office.
My eyes fill with tears at his dismissal. I already feel alone and now my brother's pushing me away too. With a sigh, Jeremy pulls me into his arms, "It'll be okay Sarah Beth, I promise."
"It won't be okay. Nothing will ever be okay again, Jeremy!" Struggling to push him away, my voice keeps rising. "You and David won't be here forever. Once you leave, I'll be all alone. What's going to happen to me?" My voice breaks and I collapse against him weeping pitifully. I don't know how I even have any tears left to cry after the last 24 hours.
Jeremy places a finger under my chin, forcing me to look up at him. He's so much taller than I am that I have to tip my head all the way back to meet his gaze. "You'll never be alone Little Bit. We'll always be here for you. Concentrate on getting through the next few days okay? Let David worry about the rest." I'm still clinging to him when the doorbell sounds; my grandparents are here to help us bury their children.
The days leading up to my parents' funeral pass quickly and now it's time to make decisions about my future. David and both sets of my grandparents have been in dad's study for over an hour arguing about what to do with me. Jeremy's done everything he can think of to distract me, offering to take me to a movie, to drop me off at Livvie's house or bring her here to me, but nothing takes my mind off the fact that everyone is deciding what's going to happen to me - but me. I'm almost sixteen years old, why don't I get to have a say in any of this?
When I ask Jeremy, he just shrugs and says, "Little B
it, let the adults figure it out. Don't worry your pretty little head about it."
Seriously? It's like I'm back in the dark ages. I'm almost an adult, and I'm tired of not being heard. Slapping Jeremy's arm away from my shoulders, I stomp off toward where everyone is discussing me like I'm a problem no one wants to deal with. As I get closer to the door, I can hear bits of the conversation.
"David, you can't take care of a teenage girl. We can take her home with us. She'll be closer to you in Asheville than she is here," my Granny, mom's mother says.
Before David can respond, my MawMaw, dad's mom, huffs, "If he wants to be close to her, she should come stay with us, Winston Salem is closer to Charlotte than Asheville."
Both sets of grandparents start to argue over who should take me, each throwing insults at the other and I just want to put my hands over my ears so I don't have to listen to all the bickering. Jeremy walks up beside me like he's scared I'm going to run away, and tries to cajole me back to the den. With a shake of my head, I start to open the office door when my brother's voice booms above my grandparents.
"Enough!" he shouts. "I love you all, but Sarah Beth is my sister, and she's my responsibility. If she's going to be with anyone, it will be me." The entire room is silent after he speaks, and I push the door open to walk in. Five heads turn to me, all of them differing variations of upset. David's arms are crossed over his chest and he looks ready to fight anyone who goes against him. Both of my grandmothers have tears running down their faces and are being comforted by my grandfathers who look like they've aged ten years since they got here earlier this week. I can feel Jeremy at my back even though he isn't touching me, and squaring my shoulders I look at each person in turn.
Everything I Shouldn't / Everything I Need (Nashville Nights #2-3) Page 2
