by Eva Luxe
Uninterested, Liam replies with a short, “Cool,” and sips his coffee.
Scott joins us with both his and Brittany’s drink orders. Brittany welcomes him into the conversation, referring to me as their dear friend. What a joke. Scott introduces himself, and is given a cold reception by Liam, but this time Liam gives his name.
“So, Liam, how do you know our sweet little Hazel?” Brittany asks him.
“Y’know, I don’t mean to be rude, but you guys are kind of interrupting. Nice meeting you, though,” Liam replies.
Scott backs off immediately, being the spineless slug that he is, but Brittany plants her feet on the floor. She doesn’t look as if she has any plans to leave us, even though Liam is paying full attention to me and not her. In fact, he picks up an imaginary conversation as if we had been right in the middle of it.
The worried look on my face dissolves into a beaming smile, one that matches Liam’s. He goes on about a party we went to last weekend and how our friends got too drunk.
“Wasn’t it so crazy how everyone there was absolutely smashed, except for us, so we just took videos of all of them and joked about playing them back to them the next morning so they could see the dangers of imbibing too heavily?”
“It sure was!” I exclaim, as if I know exactly what he’s talking about.
Hearing the story for the first time myself, I am hung up on his every word. Whether it’s because of his thick Irish accent or the conviction with which he relives this made up story, I can’t take my eyes off of his handsome face and gorgeous green eyes.
I begin to wish we really had been together last weekend and that this story could actually be true. Instead, I had only binge watched Netflex with Lucy curled in my lap. Liam belts out a very convincing laugh that wanes when he sees that Brittany is still planted next to our table.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I hadn’t known you were still there,” Liam says, with disdain in his voice, before turning his attention back to me and saying, “I really think we should rent a movie theater-sized screen for the party, and play it all for them then.”
It’s not much longer until Brittany finally leaves us and joins Scott on the other side of the Starbucks, sulking the whole way at the unfairness of being ignored by a man. Liam waits until she’s sitting to look back at her, then to me.
“So,” he starts, “how’d I do, eh?”
“You are amazing, Liam,” I tell him truthfully.
I was so set to just leave the coffee shop as soon as Brittany had her back turned to me, but now I couldn’t help but stay and talk to this man. This attractive man. This charming, hilarious, fast thinking, good looking man.
I even catch a glimpse of Brittany looking back at us, clearly jealous that I get to spend my time with Liam, while she’s stuck with pathetic, thumb diddling Scott. It’s obvious that she knows I’m with the better man. Well, not with. Not really.
“I’ve never been any good at improv, but I really gotta toot my horn here, I was pretty bloody convincing,” Liam boasts, with his charming Irish brogue.
I certainly couldn’t disagree. He almost had me sold that we had gone to a party last weekend.
“So, who are they, anyway?” he asks me, his impeccably adorable eyebrows furling together a bit as he looks at me.
This isn’t a conversation I’d get into with a stranger, but there’s a very inviting warmth Liam gives off that makes me spill my guts. I tell Liam the miserable story of how I not only found out that my boyfriend was cheating on me with my best friend of many years, but also that the way I found out was by walking into the office and seeing them fucking on my work station. Liam stares at me with a bewildered look in his eyes, and his jaw drops.
“Just like that, eh?” he asks me, shaking his head in what could be amusement. “Not worried about the big boss coming in, and ending up canned?”
“I guess they figured it would have been worth it,” I say, laughing.
It feels good to laugh about it. This whole time, I’ve been angry and stewing, when really, it’s a very funny situation. The situation does call for some degree of at least self-deprecating humor, so, at least talking to Liam is providing me with that much needed perspective.
I notice Brittany talking to Scott with a very angered expression on her face. All the muscles on her face had tightened when Liam rejected her handshake and she hasn’t relaxed her face since. She noisily scoots her chair away from her table and makes a beeline back towards us. I warn Liam, who gets excited at the thought of continuing this overall innocent lie.
“Aye, well, if you thought I was amazing before, just wait until you see this,” he whispers to me, and punctuates his statement with a suggestive wink.
I wink back at him, ready for more laughs, and for whatever else he has in store.
Chapter 6
Liam
Apparently Starbucks is a place where anything and everything can happen. I’d just been sitting here minding my own business when this lovely creature approached me and essentially asked me to be her fake boyfriend.
Thirty minutes until my audition, I’d been thinking. Until then, though, I might as well just sip my drink.
I show up at this Starbucks as often as I can, to play the role of working here as a barista. I even dress in a uniform my friend Aaron gave me. He actually used to work at a different Starbucks and quit after a row with the manager. He’d walked off the job still wearing the uniform and hadn’t ever bothered returning it.
The real baristas don’t allow me to stand behind the counter to see what it’s like to be a real Starbucks employee, and they even laughed at my request. As if it’s really that fucking ridiculous. I’ve heard of many method actors going to the type of establishment their character works at to see what it’s like.
I figure I’m no Christian Bale, but if my character is a Starbucks barista, I should know what it’s like firsthand. But since my opportunity to becoming truly method was shot down, I was left today as always with the option of just ordering a drink and sitting down alone to recite my lines.
Unlike Aaron (who was only down with the plan because he hoped it would further piss off Starbucks), my brother James wasn’t too supportive of this endeavor. He’s not too supportive of my plans for acting in general, but, more specifically, he’s against asking Starbucks employees to let me “intrude.”
It’s not intruding, I tell him. They're helping. And I was going to pay them for their time. But he still acted as if I was crazy. Alas, the life of an actor is full of hardship.
I sip on my hot green tea as I focus on the lines I’ll be reading in half an hour. I close my eyes and try to empty my mind but the din of the coffee shop is distracting, and when I next open them, they land on a pale beauty. I was dead set on focusing on my imminent audition, but seeing this American temptress stopped my train of thought immediately.
The second my eyes landed on her, she looked at me like some wild animal trapped in a cage. And then she started walking right towards my table.
As far as I know, I don’t have any psychic abilities, but my first thought when I saw her was, “I’d love to have her come over here, straddle me, and ride my cock in public.”
Sure, it’d be illegal but there’s something about public fucking that’s so tempting. And here I have a gorgeous lass completing the first part of that fantasy: coming over to me. I loved to watch her petite, curvy frame as she walked up to me, and her curly hair bouncing just like her plump ass.
Sadly, instead of straddling me, she pulled up a chair and sat down, looking very frazzled. Her light brown, slightly mixed with green, eyes nearly matched her light brown hair, and they made a lovely contrast with her pale skin, even though they looked very concerned right now.
I wanted to say, “Hello, love, how about we leave this cafe and hop to my place?” but I was so overcome with her curvy beauty and so surprised by the fact that she was walking up to me that all that came out of my mouth was a stuttering, “Oh, uh, well hello there.”
Hopefully that’s not foreshadowing how my audition will go. The one I have today is for a minor role, but soon I have the role of barista coming up, which I’ve obviously been studying hard for. I need to be on top of my game for both of them, even though I care a lot more about the barista role than the grocery store clerk role I’ll be auditioning for after this.
When she introduced herself as Hazel, I thought her parents had made the perfect name choice since it matched her beautiful eyes. And when she asked me to play along with her little role play game, I was completely on board even though I wasn’t sure what she was even asking me to play along with— and even though I didn’t have time to play along with something that would take very long. I wanted to help her out with whatever problem she’s having but there was no fucking way I was missing out on my biggest opportunity since arriving in New York.
I asked Hazel how long this will take, but she didn’t answer me. She was much too focused on one full-bodied blonde strutting towards us with quite a mischievous smile slapped on her face. Although this blonde wasn’t as attractive as Hazel, I suppose some would find her attractive, although her appearance was overshadowed by her unfiltered cruelty towards sweet Hazel.
Not a single clue was given to me as to how I was supposed to play along to this situation but the melancholy and tensed look on Hazel told me everything. Therefore, I played the part beautifully, if I do say so myself. Someone should nominate me for an Oscar for the role.
I was nothing but cold towards this lady. And she had nothing on her agenda but tearing down Hazel and I was not about to give this woman, who calls herself Brittany, any of the attention she so desperately craved. She seemed to be into me, even though she was with someone else.
What a dramatic situation to be in. The dilemmas one finds oneself in at Starbucks! Once I gave Brittany enough of a cold shoulder, she eased off and scampered back to the guy I presume is her boyfriend, despite her attempt at wooing me.
Then Hazel not only thanked me, but complimented my skills as an actor. She may not have straddled me, but surely, she was after my heart. This might go down as my absolute favorite meeting of a new person.
I hate small talk and that awkward stage of meeting someone new, so being thrust into a situation in which I not only help someone but get to practice my improv abilities is my dream first interaction. Luck is on my side today, surely.
Now, I turn back around to see the she-demon returning to our table, this time with her boy toy in tow. I can’t help but sigh, since her constant presence is annoying and I have to leave soon.
“So, Hazel,” she starts, “Little birdies say you’ve been purposefully avoiding me at work. That’s not true, is it?”
Hazel avoids Brittany’s gaze and looks down at her hands.
“Well, I’m sorry about anything I’ve done to you, but the past is the past. I’m happy with Scott and your happy with, uh…” Brittany looks to me.
“Liam,” I finally confess. I could have used a fake name, but I don’t want to have to remember a pseudonym if this goes on any longer.
Hazel finally speaks, very confidently, I might add. “Yes, Brittany, you’re right. I’m very happy with Liam.”
Brittany is taken aback by Hazel’s sudden burst of confidence before reverting back to her fake smile.
“How could you not be? You finally got over me fucking your boyfriend and now, here you are with this tall drink of water. Didn’t know you were into older men,” she says slyly as she cranes her head back to me. “Or is this your cousin or something?”
I am amazed that someone can be so outwardly fucking cruel to someone. Hazel has sat here as cordial as ever while Brittany acts like some high school movie bully. I won’t just sit here idly while this innocent girl gets bashed relentlessly.
“Cousin,” I shout with a hearty laugh. “Why that’d be a bit gross, considering we’re engaged. Your buddy Hazel there is my bride to be.”
Hazel’s beautiful brown eyes widen after I say this. When I look up, I see that both Brittany and her boy toy are equally as shocked. This astounding news hit everyone pretty hard, including me right after I realize what I’d said. I must have gotten really into the role and those words just tumbled out But I keep my cool. ‘Cause I’m an actor, baby. And I’m acting the shit out of this part, and having fun while doing it.
Chapter 7
Liam
I didn’t let the crazy words coming out of my mouth make me lose my cool. But what challenges my ability to stay cool is Brittany’s arm slithering across my shoulders.
“Fiancée? Wow. You must move pretty fast. Not that that’s a bad thing,” she tells me with pursed lips.
“Fast and faithful, so please don’t touch me,” I insist. This woman has no sense of personal space or boundaries. It’s as though she exists only to make Hazel’s life as unstable and miserable as possible. Despite my command, she keeps her hand trained on my back.
“I just find it amazing, is all. Just six months ago, Hazel was all alone. You must have picked her up off the ground with those big strong arms, huh?” she growls at me, while feeling my biceps.
“Hey, Scotty boy, mind saying something?” I ask Brittany’s boyfriend.
Scott doesn’t strike me as the type of guy who wears the pants in very many of his relationships. He quickly darts away from me while Brittany continues rubbing my arms. In order to stop this, I stand up and loudly drag my chair to the other side of the table, right next to Hazel. I’m all for physical affection, but not when it’s coming from such an uninhibited bitch.
Once I’m on the other side of the table and safely away from her, Brittany grabs two unused chairs from other tables for her and Scott to sit down on. The she-demon joins her hands together and smiles slyly at Scott.
“So, Scott and I just moved into a new place. A little spot in the Upper West Side, nothing too crazy. And we’d love to have you over to our housewarming party. It’ll be fun,” she says through a toothy smile.
From just a few minutes of interacting with this woman, I can tell that her idea of fun would consist of bragging for hours and making Hazel feel as bad of herself as possible. It’s sickening. And again, I’m left to ask myself how a person so cruel could exist in the real world. How has she gone on this long with a clear personality disorder without being chased out of town by a mob carrying pitchforks and torches?
I’ve been to housewarming parties before and from my experience, the only people who have them are rich people who want to show off how well-off they are and how many great new things they have. Obviously, this invite is a power move. And a dick move. Now I’m left to come up with a way to one-up her.
“That is super lovely, Jess. But it just so happens that we’ve got a lot of planning to do. Caterers to call, floral arrangements to uh — arrange, and we haven’t even agreed on where we’re having our wedding, so unfortunately, I believe we’ll have to pass.” Not my best lie, but it seems to convince Brittany, and Hazel is beaming with happiness at this over the top fib.
But then Brittany calls my bluff. “I didn’t even mention when the party is.”
“Right,” I say, trying to come up with something fast, “but unless it’s sometime after our wedding in March, chances are we’ll be too busy for your get-together. Truly a shame.”
Scott finally speaks up. Something about this fake situation sets him off, for whatever reason. He starts firing off a barrage of questions at me about this wedding.
“The housewarming party is on Friday. But let me ask you something, how is it that the wedding is just three months away but you two haven’t agreed on a location?” he asks, quite fired up. He keeps looking to Brittany for her approval, like a little dog performing tricks for his master and waiting for his treat as a reward. But she won’t stop staring at me, so she doesn’t notice.
I shrug and answer, “It won’t be out of state, that’s for sure. But we just keep butting heads. Hazel wants a really big wedding, so the venue has to be lar
ge enough to accommodate for all the people she wants to invite.”
Hazel’s pupils shrink, indicating to me that I had said something wrong.
“Big wedding, huh,” Scott laughs. “Whatever happened to ‘I only want to have my parents and Brittany at our wedding if I even ever want to get married at all’?”
Hazel stammers trying to come up with a good enough answer for that line of questioning. “Things were different with you versus Liam,” she answers.
“She’s made a lot of close, loving friends these past couple of months. Surely closer and more loving than the two of you could ever be,” I further explain. Apparently, this Scott guy needs some helping out when it comes to understanding things.
Brittany seems incredibly offended that I’m not giving her the positive attention she craves, but this doesn’t slow down her attempts to make Hazel and I both feel uncomfortable.
