The Christmas Star

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The Christmas Star Page 7

by Donna VanLiere


  “I know,” Amy says. “She beats me at every game we play.”

  “And she’s friends with everybody!” Gabe can see that Maddie is puffing up with pride in front of him. “If Maddie sees that somebody needs a friend, she will be that friend.”

  “She became my friend right away,” Amy says. “Of course she got my name wrong but I can forgive her for that.”

  “Denison sounds like Jenson,” Maddie says, her mouth full of food.

  “Again … not even close,” Gabe says, making her howl with laughter. “Not even in the same ballpark!” Maddie giggles, her mouth gaping wide with food, and Amy can’t help but smile. Whatever heartache and pain happened years ago between Gabe and Amy appears to be temporarily forgotten. Forgiveness and mercy seem to hover above this blue-and-white-checked tablecloth, entering each of them with, for the moment, a sense of gladness.

  “So what do you like to do when you’re at Linda’s house?” Amy asks.

  Maddie pops a potato chip in her mouth. “I like to play with Teddy, her dog. And I like to play video games, and read some books, not all books, because I don’t like books about boys or boogers and stuff.” Gabe and Amy smile as they listen. “And I like to play games and go outside and ride my bike in the driveway. But I’d love to play the piano.”

  Gabe’s eyes widen. “You could learn!”

  Maddie shakes her head. “I could never play like this,” she says, her hands racing over the tablecloth.

  “If anybody could do this,” Gabe says, his hands mimicking hers, “it’s you!”

  “I doubt it.”

  Gabe looks at her, banging his coffee cup on the table. “If you doubt that you can do that then you don’t know the same Maddie that I do. The Maddie I know tries anything and never gives up. The Maddie I know races in the three-legged race on field day.”

  “And came in last,” Maddie says.

  “But she could have chosen to not race at all; however the Maddie I know said ‘I want to be in the race’!” She smiles, raising her eyebrows when she looks at Amy. “The Maddie I know takes part in square-dance week in gym.”

  “It’s awful,” Maddie says to Amy. “People with CP should not square-dance.”

  “But the Maddie I know would rather dance than sit on the gym risers.”

  She begins to giggle. “I’m horrible at square dancing!”

  “All of you are,” Gabe says, deadpan. “The whole week is hideous to watch.” Maddie and Amy laugh out loud together. “If I had a broom that could clean up the whole disaster, I would use it, but I just have to stand by and wait for the catastrophic mess to end.”

  “It’s not that bad,” Maddie squeals.

  As much as Amy wants to remember Gabe as the wrecking ball that he was, she can’t keep from wanting to believe that he has changed. There is a gentleness to him that she never knew. There’s compassion and warmth for Maddie that he never showed for anyone when she was married to him. His laugh is easier and his tone is light; when they were married his words were edged with hardness. She doesn’t want to be here, sitting in this small space seeing this side of him. It’s easier to think of him the way he was.

  “Here come part of the triumphant fund-raising team!” Gloria says. Amy looks over her shoulder and is relieved to see Gloria and Miriam, Stacy, and her son, Ben, walking toward them. Their presence will take some of the strain away.

  “Miss Glory!” Maddie says, leaning over to hug her.

  “I’m Gloria,” she says to Gabe. “And this is Miriam.”

  “Gabe Rodriguez,” he says, shaking her hand. “It was awesome! The kids were amazing,” he says, looking at Maddie.

  “Each year I think that it was our best fund-raiser ever and we could never top it but then the very next year the kids prove me wrong! And of course I keep getting the very best volunteers,” she says, winking at Amy.

  “And of course the staff who has been there from day one is an integral part of each success,” Miriam says, a bit offended. “Dalton and Heddy and…” She stops for effect.

  “And you, Miriam,” Gloria says, sighing. “Whatever would I do without you?”

  Miriam smiles, satisfied. “How do you know Maddie?” she asks Gabe.

  “I work at the school and, as you probably know, Maddie is a superstar there.”

  “And you know Amy! How wonderful,” Gloria says.

  “He loves her,” Ben says, making his mom’s mouth drop open.

  “Ben!” Stacy says.

  “He does. He loves her. Don’t you?”

  Gabe clears his throat and coughs, accidentally spilling his coffee when he covers his mouth. He scurries to use his napkin to sop it up.

  “They used to be married,” Maddie says, moving away from the brown stream headed her way. Amy wonders if her face has fallen, just as her heart has.

  “Oh!” Miriam says. “Isn’t that something? That’s wonderful to … I mean, it’s so nice to see … just something, isn’t it?” She looks at Gloria for help.

  “Well, you both have a tremendous friend in Maddie,” Gloria says, bailing Miriam out.

  “I’ve seen you in my line at Clauson’s,” Ben says to Gabe. “I’m Ben. Remember me? I bag your groceries.”

  “Of course! You put the notes in each customer’s bag,” Gabe says, recognizing him. “You rock those notes, Ben!”

  Ben smiles. “You don’t buy a lot and you look different today than when you’re buying groceries. You look happy. That’s why you love her.”

  “Ben!” Stacy whispers, loudly enough so everyone can hear.

  “I need to get going,” Amy says, uncomfortable and scooting her chair back with a loud shriek across the floor.

  “Yes!” Miriam says. “We all should go.”

  Gloria glares at her. “We just got here, Miriam,” she says, hissing at her. “Stop talking, okay?” Gabe and Maddie push their chairs out, standing. “We’ll see you on Monday, all right babe?” Gloria says, giving Maddie a squeeze. “Thank you again and again, Amy, for all your help this morning.”

  “Nice meeting all of you,” Gabe says, putting his hand on Maddie’s shoulder and guiding her toward the door.

  “That was painful,” Miriam says, watching them leave.

  “Only because you made it that way,” Gloria says, sitting down in an empty chair.

  “I’m pretty sure Ben helped usher in the pain,” Stacy says, looking at him, smiling.

  Ben looks sheepish and confused. “I just said the truth!”

  Miriam sits across from Gloria. “Amy looked miserable.” She watches the door close behind them. “What are you going to do about it?”

  Gloria opens her mouth and raises her arms in a shrug. “What am I going to do about it? Nothing! My biggest question in life is what to do about you.” Miriam rolls her eyes as Gloria and Stacy laugh.

  * * *

  Amy’s car is two blocks away but it feels like it’s taking them days to get there. She just wants this to be over. The star on the gazebo seems to shimmer in the night air and Amy wishes some of that light would enter her, lifting the darkness from her shoulders. When they reach her car, she unlocks it and gives Maddie a quick hug. “I’m so proud of you and the other kids! It was an awesome day!” She looks at Gabe and tries to smile. “Bye, Gabe.”

  Gabe lifts his hand in a clumsy wave and smiles as she gets behind the wheel. Maddie slips her hand into his and they watch as Amy backs up and leaves. But not for good, he says to himself, squeezing Maddie’s hand.

  TWELVE

  For the last several years, Sunday has been Amy’s favorite day of the week. Always a morning person, she gets up to attend the early service at church. It wasn’t until after her divorce that she discovered the hope found in community. Faith and church had been a part of her childhood but once she went to college, she all but abandoned it. When her life was spiraling downward, she discovered that something was missing, something much bigger than the absence of a husband, and she returned to the faith of her childhood. Fo
r so many years she had formed her identity from what she did, or as Gabe’s wife, but when they split up she felt like her identity was marred by the divorce. It was only when she began to read through the Bible that she came to know the God of all comfort and eventually returned to church. It was a Christmas Eve service, two years after her divorce, and as soon as a small ensemble began to sing “Silent Night,” her eyes filled with tears. When the minister said, “Jesus was born for the one whose life is falling apart. Christmas is for the lonely and forgotten and for the one who is crippled in spirit,” the tears raced down her cheeks. She became part of this band of believers and learned about forgiveness and hope in the darkest places.

  After the morning service she declines the offer to join friends for their usual Sunday breakfast and heads back to her house, a small one she rented and eventually purchased in Cortland, the next town over from Grandon. To keep herself occupied, she pulls weeds from around the house for an hour or so, before sweeping out the garage and tidying the bathroom, but her thoughts are loud, nagging and frustrating her, making her feel disheartened. She eats a small lunch before grabbing her keys and heading out the door for the movie theater.

  Showtimes are listed at the side of the ticket booth and she stands and reads over the movie choices. There’s a special screening of a new animated movie, Arthur Christmas, before its release date, and Amy thinks it’s just the thing she needs to lift her from this funk. The theater quickly fills with children and their parents. The notification of this special screening must have gone to every elementary school in the area, but Amy doesn’t mind. She enjoys the sound of their laughter. At the close of the movie, she sits and reads through the credits before standing to exit. “Miss Denison!” Maddie yells, walking down the stairs toward her. “What are you doing here?”

  “I just came to the movies and saw that this was playing and thought it’d be great and it was! What did you think?”

  “I loved it!”

  “Where’s Linda?” Amy asks, looking behind her.

  “I’m here with Mr. G. He’s up there,” she says, pointing a few rows behind them. Gabe is standing with his hands in his pockets, watching them. He waves, keeping his distance so Amy can escape, but Maddie waves for him to come down. “I didn’t know that grown-ups would go to a kids’ movie by themselves.”

  Amy laughs. “Of course they do!”

  Gabe smiles, approaching them. “So you still read through all the movie credits.”

  “And apparently you do too,” Amy says.

  “We’re going to the park,” Maddie says. “Can you come? Mr. G. says this might be the last nice day we have before it turns cold.”

  Amy smiles. “So Mr. G.’s a meteorologist now?”

  Maddie scrunches her eyebrows together. “I’m not sure exactly what that is but yeah, he’s the best.” Gabe grins, sticking his hands back into his pockets. “I’ll show you where I like to play dragon and castle. Okay?”

  “I’m sorry. I can’t.”

  Maddie’s face clouds over. “Why not? It’s Sunday. You don’t have to work, do you?”

  Amy shakes her head. “No, but I need to get—”

  “Where?” Maddie asks, pressing her again and looking at her with enormous brown eyes. “Where do you need to be right away?”

  Amy sighs. “Sure,” she says. “I’ll go for a few minutes.”

  Amy follows Gabe the few miles to the park and pulls in beside his truck. Maddie leads them to the playground area, spread out with swings, monkey bars, towers with swirly slides and swinging bridges, a sandbox, climbing poles, and more. “The castle and the dragon are over here,” Maddie says, waving them on.

  Gabe and Amy watch as she steps up to the swinging bridge, which leads to the tower. “Should we let her be doing this?” Amy says, concerned that Maddie’s leg will make her unsteady on much of this equipment.

  “She does it at school,” he says, watching her. “Not much slows her down.”

  “How did you wind up at that movie?” Amy asks, keeping her eyes on Maddie.

  He turns his head to look at her. “They announced it at school and sold special tickets. I talked about it with Linda a couple of days ago. Why?”

  “Because it seems strange that people who live in Grandon would go to a movie in Cortland.”

  Gabe glances over at her. “So you obviously live here in Cortland now?” She doesn’t respond. “If you’re thinking that somehow I knew that and I came here just hoping to run into you somewhere in Cortland, that’s not what happened. I bought these tickets on Friday, before I even knew you were in Maddie’s life. Maybe you’re the one who heard about the special screening and thought we would be there.”

  She snaps her head around, looking at him. “I did not!”

  Gabe begins to smile. “Maybe you volunteered at Glory’s Place because in the back of your mind you thought you’d run into me in Grandon.”

  “That’s ridiculous! I drive straight to Glory’s Place and then I leave. Trust me, I did not want to run into you … accidentally or otherwise.”

  He chuckles. “You’re the one who brought it up.”

  “This is where the dragon lives,” Maddie says, waving to them from a window in the tower.

  “If you need help slaying him then let me know,” Gabe says. “I’ve slain plenty of dragons in my time.”

  “I can do it,” Maddie says, making sounds as if she is struggling with the fire-breathing creature.

  Amy watches Maddie play. “Have you?”

  Gabe moves to a nearby bench, sitting down. “Have I what?”

  She sits next to him. “Slain plenty of dragons.”

  “I have. All of them. All the ones that tried to destroy me, anyway.”

  She looks out, watching as Maddie makes dramatic moves inside the tower, defeating the beast within. “How’d you do it?”

  He leans forward on his knees. “AA. I watched a man who worked for my dad clean himself up and I thought if he could do it, I could too.”

  She nods. “How many years?”

  “I started a few months after we divorced. I’m five and a half years sober.”

  “This is how I throw him down,” Maddie says, pretending to toss something out the tower window.

  “Ouch!” Gabe says. “That’s it for him. Watch out! Look behind you!” Maddie turns and wields an imaginary sword. “My natural instinct was to explode at anything or anyone. After we split, for the first time in my life, I realized that I was capable of anything and that scared me to death. Now when chaos strikes, I don’t explode because I know what I’m capable of. Problems aren’t world-ending anymore.”

  Amy makes a noise at the back of her throat. “There’s definitely been some sort of shift in you. That’s for sure.”

  He watches Maddie and nods. “Yeah, a good humbling will do that.”

  “How is it that you’re so good with kids now?”

  “I think I was always good with them but I wasn’t around them.”

  “And you didn’t want them.”

  He looks at her. “I didn’t know what I was missing. But I really love being around them. I even take college classes so I can be with them.”

  She studies him, surprised. “What are you studying?”

  “Elementary education. I’m one of the old guys in class. Thankfully, a lot of classes can be taken online.” Amy nods, letting it sink in. “I know. I never seemed like the college type.” He thinks for a moment before saying, “You kept the bracelet.”

  She doesn’t answer but watches Maddie play. “How do you know that?” she says finally.

  “Maddie showed me the bracelet that Miss Jenson gave her. I didn’t think anything about it until yesterday when I looked down at the bracelet on Maddie’s arm and realized it’s the same one I got you on our honeymoon. She said Miss Jenson got it at a flea market.”

  She shakes her head. “I never wear it but for some reason I put it on that day. When she said she liked it, well, I didn’t see any reason f
or keeping it.”

  “But you did keep it.”

  “And so did you,” she snaps.

  He laughs, raising his hands in surrender. “I know! I kept it because it reminded me of what I did wrong. We were never a cord of three because I never wanted anything to do with God. We were a cord of two, and then just a single strand.” They sit together in the quiet. Gabe rubs his hands together, thinking, keeping his eyes on the ground. “Maddie asked yesterday if we could be friends again.” He looks up at her. “Could we?”

  Amy’s heart begins to pound beneath her ribs and she sighs. “I know you’ve changed, Gabe. I see it with Maddie. I feel it just sitting here next to you. You’re centered now. You’re peaceful.”

  He waits for more. “And that would make me a good friend, right?”

  “For other people. Not for me. It’s all too strange.”

  He leans back on the bench. “I’ve always been strange so that shouldn’t surprise you. And Maddie said I was a very good friend.”

  “She also said that you were a good meteorologist so I wouldn’t put too much stock in what a seven-year-old says.” Gabe smiles, watching Maddie. “I’m glad Maddie knows you. You seem good for her but you wouldn’t be good for me. I know too much. Too much water under the bridge.” She looks at him and can tell by the look on his face that she’s been unusually harsh.

  He is speechless and stands, walking to help Maddie down the stairs. “And that’s how you slay a dragon!” he says, high-fiving her.

  “Can we swing before we leave?” Maddie asks, looking at them.

  “I need to get going,” Amy says, hugging her good-bye. “See you on Monday.”

  Maddie doesn’t notice that Gabe is silent as she leads him to the swings.

  THIRTEEN

  Miriam pulls a wedding dress from the rack at Grandon Dress and Formal Wear and holds it in front of her. “What do you think of this one?” Lauren touches the dress but is quiet. “Just because this is my gift to you doesn’t mean I’m picking it out,” Miriam says. “This is your dress! So, what do you think?” Lauren shakes her head. “Too Laura Ingalls? I agree.” She reaches for another one, lifting it off the rack. “Well?”

 

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