by DC Renee
“It rarely happens,” I responded.
“Once is too much. The fact that it happens often is more than too much. This is your body telling you you’re not cut out for life on the road. If this is about Grennan, I’m telling you, he’ll understand. It’s obvious he loves you.”
“And that’s exactly why I’m staying. You’re not changing my mind, Cass. I know you’re worried about me, but I’m a big girl, and I can handle myself. I’m staying. That’s final. Now please, if you love me, you’ll drop this, stop worrying, and go back out there with me.”
“I don’t like this.”
“And that’s why you’re my best friend. I love you,” I told her as I hugged her, “but you’re only wasting your breath and ruining the last couple of days you’re here if you drag this on. Please,” I tacked on. “Please,” I repeated and batted my eyelashes at her.
“Fine, but I’m only dropping this for now. Don’t think I’m not going to keep badgering you.”
“Okay, badger me later, but for now, let’s go get serenaded.”
I knew I hadn’t won the war, but at least, I won that battle.
Brooklyn
I was sure Cass was tattling on me to my very own parents. Traitor. I hadn’t talked to them about my songwriting for the same reason I hadn’t talked to Cassidy about it — because I just couldn’t believe the talents Grennan swore I had. I hadn’t talked to them about my strange dreams or the weird daydream because I didn’t want to worry them. I also didn’t want to admit I was going a tad bit crazy. Cass only knew because she had witnessed it.
Didn’t she know friends were supposed to lie to parents for each other, not spill their secrets to them? I couldn’t be one hundred percent sure, but I wasn’t a dummy. I could put two-and-two together, but I was also apparently going a touch crazy—even if I didn’t want to say that out loud, so there was also that to contend with. Who knows … maybe I was making this entire thing up to be more than it was, but I didn’t think I was.
It was Cassidy’s last day on tour with us, and although she had stopped trying to convince me to leave the tour after my little rehearsal dream, she hadn’t dropped it completely. She got smarter; I’ll give her that. Instead of flat-out saying, “tour break time” like it was a nine-to-five and it was time for our smoke break, she made little comments about how good it would be to have her best friend around to hang out with more, how she didn’t know how she’d survive without me when she left the tour. She even got in a few, “Well, I would if Brook was there.” I couldn’t even tell you what those words meant. They probably weren’t even relative to the conversation.
Wondering how many passive references my best friend could make in a couple of days? Plenty. No, plenty doesn’t even cover it. Too many to count. How she managed to stick in those side comments was beyond me, but I was sure she thought she was working my subconscious and my guilt at the same time. She wasn’t. I was more amused than anything.
The little sneak also thought I didn’t realize that she had talked to Grennan about me. I wasn’t sure what was said there, but after I had got out of the shower the last day, she and Grennan had stopped talking abruptly before trying to fumble for some obscure topic. I’d give them credit—Grennan didn’t mention anything about me leaving the tour until the day after Cass left. I think they thought it would make it seem less obvious that they had conspired against me, but there was no way Grennan magically didn’t want me along for the ride. He was also easily convinced I should stay. I barely even had to push back. And using my body? Well, that was just a bonus to shut him up.
But my parents? Tsk tsk, Cass.
It was sometime late afternoon on her last day visiting. We were all getting ready to grab a quick bite and then head out for the show. Cassidy always took forever to get ready, so we let her use the bedroom like two hours before we headed out. Okay, maybe two hours was a bit of an exaggeration, but she took a long freaking time. Naturally, I’d join her for the last half hour-ish so I could get ready with her help. Sometimes, it took several outfits before she would approve of whatever I was wearing, then it would take her a few minutes of staring and contemplating on how I should do my hair and makeup. She usually just did it for me when we were together.
I was heading to the room when I heard her on the phone. I never cared about her privacy, just as she hadn’t cared about mine. We shared pretty much everything with each other, so I had no qualms about stepping in the room while she finished her conversation. But then I heard one word stand out—dreams—and I stopped dead in my tracks. I wasn’t sure why, but I had a feeling I shouldn’t just walk in and announce my presence.
“She mentioned them before, but I saw it firsthand. Except it wasn’t a dream.” Yep, I was officially eavesdropping. I looked back at the guys to make sure they didn’t think I was a weirdo lurker. They were all deep in whatever topic had them bickering, so I stood still.
I didn’t hear the person on the other end, but whatever they were saying took a few moments, or at least it felt that way.
“I just found out myself not long ago. I brushed it off, but she was really freaked out this time. It happened while we were at the rehearsal.” She paused, probably listening to the other person. “I don’t know. And then add that to the song lyrics.” There was another pause. “She didn’t tell me, either. I found out by accident.”
I had shown Cassidy all my lyrics after she found out about my writing. “These are amazing,” she told me. Her voice held a hint of surprise and a tiny bit of awareness bordering on pride. “They’re all kind of dark, though,” she told me. A lot were but not all of them. Even the dark ones, though, held a hint of hope in them. We talked about that for a bit, and it felt like she was trying to probe to see if I thought the lyrics meant something subconsciously. I told her no. Then she wondered if it meant I was unhappy. I wasn’t. I was very happy. She seemed satisfied, but it had clearly bothered her. So I had a little dark side? Who didn’t?
And I was writing lyrics subconsciously for Grennan’s band, and I didn’t see a bunch of rock stars singing about hearts and flowers. So they had to be dark. I didn’t think that was cause for any alarm. My dreams? Maybe, but even then, they were just dreams, and when Grennan wrapped his arms around me, I was fine. Obviously leaving the tour would mean he wouldn’t be able to save me from my insanity. It wasn’t lost on me that the tour had brought out the dreams in the first place, but such was life. Catch twenty-two if you will.
“I’m worried about her too.” There was another pause, and then Cassidy added, “Maybe you can talk to her when you visit.” That was when I figured it was my parents on the line. No one else was going to come visit. My parents had come for a few shows already. They’d fly in for the weekend, spend a day with us, watch the show, and then head home. They couldn’t spend a week on the bus like Cassidy did. They were actually planning to come again in the next couple of weeks.
Now, for all I knew, Cassidy could have magically been talking about someone else altogether, but what were the chances of that? She could have been talking to someone else too, but those chances also felt slim.
I was torn between straining to hear more and imagining what it would be like to confront her when the guys made some particularly loud noises. Cass must have heard them too because her voice sounded urgent as she spoke to whom I assumed were my parents. “I have to go, but I’ll keep you updated.” She said a quick goodbye and hung up, and I walked in at the exact moment. I could see her eyes become large as saucers as she tried to figure out how much of the conversation I had heard mixed with relief I hadn’t walked in sooner.
“Who was that?” I asked casually. She lied. I got why since she had gone behind my back, but I still didn’t like it. I didn’t call her on it, though.
“Just some work stuff,” she told me.
“Everything okay?” I asked her.
“Yep.”
“You sure?” She nodded. “You sure that conversation had nothing to do with me?”
>
She laughed. “A few months on tour and you think you’re the star now, huh?” She tried to joke. Any other time, I would have laughed too, but I was still trying to figure out my angle. Was I going crazy and imagining things? That could actually be true. Was I mad at my friend for worrying? No, I couldn’t be. Was I upset she told my parents? Of course, but I tried to put myself in her shoes, and I knew I’d probably do the same. So what did I do? I let it go.
“You know it,” I responded with a smile. I swore I saw the tension leave her shoulders, and I knew I did the right thing. I wasn’t about to mess up my last day with my best friend until the next time she visited. “Now, help me get pretty,” I tacked on.
“Still about you.” She chuckled, and we got to work. And just like that, all was forgotten.
Grennan
I appreciated everyone being concerned about Brook. I really did. I knew they cared about her, wanted the best for her, and overall, they wanted to make sure she was okay. But that also pissed me off. Before we even started dating, her parents all but said she was fragile, implying she didn’t do well with stress and carried a touch of anxiety. Sure, she had nerves. Didn’t we all? But she wasn’t made of porcelain. I know, I know, I was guilty of treating as if she were quite often—hypocritical much? Yep, but in my mind, that was different. She was much stronger than anyone gave her credit for. This life I asked her to live is hard for even the most seasoned musicians. Aside from a few bumps here and there, she was thriving. I had stepped back from being overprotective … at least to some degree,
She was unlocking extraordinary parts of herself.
Was I worried? Naturally. But only because I would be worried about every single detail that related to Brooklyn until the day I died. I guess I couldn’t fault her family and friends for their concern.
I wasn’t surprised when Cassidy came to talk to me. I was even seeking her out although I was looking for some insider knowledge. Nevertheless, her concern was expected. What wasn’t expected was when Gavin pulled me aside to have a private chat.
“What’s up, Gav?” I asked after we were alone. “Is everything okay?” It wasn’t normal for him to want a private talk.
“Look.” He paused and ran his hand through his hair. “I love Brook, you know I do.” Yeah, I was not anticipating that … at all.
“You’d better not love her, fucker.” My defenses might have been a little up the minute he mentioned “love” and “Brook” in the same sentence.
“You know what I mean, asshole.” He sighed.
“What the hell is this about?” I asked, the edge in my voice damn apparent.
“Brook is awesome. Fuck, you really lucked out with her. I’m really happy for you, but don’t you think things are kind of weird?”
“What the hell do you mean?”
“Come on, you’re telling me that you don’t find it odd that she didn’t have any musical inclination before, and bam, now she writes lyrics like a fucking champ?”
“She was inspired.”
“Okay, maybe. But what about how she schooled us on writing a song.”
“It was a couple of notes, and she was listening to us talk about music enough to pick up a few things.”
“And her magical voice?”
“Can you believe she ever thought she couldn’t sing?” I laughed mirthlessly.
“Don’t you see? This shit isn’t adding up.”
“So what the fuck are you saying, Gav? I thought you liked her.”
“Dude, I do. It’s just … tell me this isn’t fucking weird.”
“It’s a product of this tour,” I stated. “Why are you telling me this shit? And why now? You seemed to be all gung-ho about everything before.”
“It was Cassidy.”
“What did she say?” I asked, genuinely concerned.
“Nothing, but did you see the way she dropped the glass when she found out Brook wrote the songs? And you can’t tell me you missed the shocked look on her face.”
“I imagine I looked a lot like she did when I found out too.”
“It’s not adding up.”
“What the fuck are you saying?” I all but growled.
“I just don’t want you to get hurt, Gren. I know you love her, but what if she’s been playing you? Hustling you. Maybe she wants to make her own way in this business and is using your love for her. Maybe she’s going to sue us for using her words without proper permission or something. Fuck, I don’t even know, but it all sounds plausible in my head.”
I was seething. I was on the verge of kicking my best friend’s ass, and it was only because he was said best friend that I was restraining myself.
“For our friendship, I’m going to walk away and pretend this conversation didn’t happen,” I told him as I turned around.
“It’s because of this friendship that I’m telling you this.” I stopped in my tracks. “I love you like a brother, and I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“The only way Brook can hurt me is to leave me, and I’m not letting her go.”
“You do not see things clearly,” he told me. “Believe me; I was just as excited about all these new developments as you were. It’s kickass if it’s really all some latent talents brought out thanks to us, but you can’t tell me it’s not weird. The more I thought about it, the more something felt off. And then Cass’ reaction was the kicker.”
“You think Brooklyn is trying to hustle me based on her friend being shocked?” I was in shock myself from what I was hearing from my best friend. “Do you really think Brooklyn is doing that?” Although I posed it as a question, I said it mockingly.
“Do I really think that? No.” He paused and sighed. “No, I don’t think so,” he admitted, his tone serious and confused, and I felt a little tension leave the air. “I think she’s fucking great and hot; killer legs, man, and sweet as can be. But I wouldn’t be your friend; I wouldn’t be a good friend, if I didn’t tell you these things. It could all be just a crazy coincidence, but it all just feels so … I don’t have the word. There’s just something strange about it all.”
Was it bizarre that Brook had not just waded into the musical water but had jumped in with a perfect dive her first time at the ocean? Yeah, okay, it was. But I considered it weird and wonderful not weird and worrisome.
“All I’m saying is just be careful, okay? And maybe try to figure out what’s going on, yeah?”
I could only nod before we headed back to join everyone. I felt a little bit like a traitor for wondering if there was anything behind the scenes, but I figured a little more information could never hurt. I would talk to Cassidy about Brook’s dreams anyway, so maybe I’d do some covert digging then.
Cassidy actually found me that same day.
“Brook has been stressing a lot lately,” she started.
“No, she hasn’t,” I retorted. She hadn’t been, and I was actually a little ticked off that Cassidy had said that as if I wasn’t doing my job protecting my girl. “A few dreams don’t translate to stress.”
“She told you?” Cassidy gasped. “What did she tell you?”
“She didn’t say anything,” I responded. “I sleep with her every night. When she wakes up in a daze, or she’s mumbling nonsense in her sleep, I’m there for her. She thinks I don’t notice, but I’d have to be fucking clueless not to see.”
“And that’s not a sure sign of stress?” she retorted a little angrily.
“I … I don’t know.” Maybe she was right. I had been concerned enough about them to want to ask Cass. “She won’t tell me what they’re about. They don’t seem to bother her. But she didn’t dream like this before we went on tour. Maybe I need to get a different bed. Maybe we should get our own bus.” I mused the last sentences more to myself than to Cassidy.
“Maybe she should go home for a little while,” Cass added.
“No,” I responded sternly.
“You said it yourself that she didn’t have dreams before the tour. Maybe she just needs a b
reak. You wouldn’t want that for her?” She baited me. Did I want that for her? Of course. But I didn’t want her to leave me.
“Wait a second. How do you know about the dreams? What did she say?”
“Nothing really. She mentioned having trouble sleeping sometimes.” She was lying. I was sure of it. She knew more than she would tell me, but it actually made me worry that maybe Cass was right and I had to let Brooklyn go home, at least for a short time. That also meant I wasn’t going to get any information on Brooklyn’s musical abilities either. I was sure of it.
“Right,” I responded. She knew I wasn’t buying it, but she only nodded. “So then what? You want me to send her home? I can certainly try, but we both know she has a mind of her own.”
“At least try,” she practically pleaded.
“Yeah, okay,” I conceded. “If you think it will help, I’ll try. But don’t blame me when she hands me my ass.”
“I thought you were the guy who got whatever you wanted.”
“Exactly.” I smirked.
“Gren, please, don’t turn this into a joke. Brook is my best friend, and I just want her to be okay.”
“And you think I don’t?” I hissed. “I love her. I want to spend my life with her. I want her by my side until she takes her last breath, and God willing, I’ll have taken mine first. Do you honestly think I’d do anything to jeopardize her?”
“Not intentionally.”
“Good. Then you know I’ll try to convince her to go home if you honestly think it will help her, but I don’t want her to go. I want her with me. I’ll let her go, though. But don’t confuse the two.”
“All right then. I guess that’s all I can ask. Nice chat.” She smirked and turned away before I could say anything else.
I tried to convince Brook to go home a few times for a couple of days, and I got shot down each and every time. The last time, she even said, “If you love me, then you’ll drop this conversation.”
“It’s because I love you that we’re talking about this,” I told her.
