Shawna smiled and nodded. Maybe she should have, at that. “I didn’t mean any offense, Dr. McGuire.”
Sally felt she had stood on the sidelines long enough and rose to join them. Out of long habit, she positioned herself between her daughter and the distinguished-looking man who had completely captured her fancy.
“I was just telling Simon that you didn’t say anything to me, either.” She turned toward McGuire, simultaneously turning on a thousand-watt smile. “But then, a mother’s always the last to know something.”
Especially if she’s not listening, Shawna thought. The next moment she relented. Sally had done the best she knew how. The trouble was, she just never knew how and never bothered to learn.
McGuire nodded his silver head. “I came by to see for myself that you were all right.”
Shawna spread her hands wide and made a complete revolution for his benefit. “I’m fine.”
She certainly seemed so. There was a glow about her, McGuire observed. One he’d never seen before. He didn’t need a road map to tell him where it had come from. He could tell by the way she’d said Murphy’s name.
“I can see that.” He took her hand and held it for a moment. “Still, if you wanted to drop out, I would understand.”
He might understand, but she didn’t. “Drop out?”
“Yes. Stop helping out at the clinic.”
Sally placed a hand on her daughter’s shoulder. “Really, dear, it might be for your own good.”
Shawna was surprised at the note of concern in her mother’s voice. She couldn’t help wondering if having McGuire here had anything to do with its sudden appearance.
She directed her answer to McGuire. “No, the thought never crossed my mind. Those people need all the medical attention they can get.” Shawna thought of several of the patients she’d seen recently. “In some cases, they’d never seen an ophthalmologist, even though they needed to. And wouldn’t if I wasn’t there.” She gained a full head of steam in case he had any ideas about refusing her help. “And if I hadn’t been there, that girl I sutured up two weeks ago might have had serious complications. You know how crowded and understaffed that emergency room at Chancellor General is.”
McGuire held up a hand to stem the torrent of words. “Slow down. You don’t have to convince me.”
He chuckled softly. He had a daughter about Shawna’s age. Denise’s main concern was if there were water spots on her goblets when she threw a dinner party. He wished she could learn a few things from Shawna.
“Those are all the same arguments I use when I’m recruiting other doctors.” He placed a fatherly arm around her shoulders. “Still, I wouldn’t want you on my conscience. I don’t want anything happening to you.”
“Nothing will happen. I can handle myself.” She couldn’t prevent the side glance she gave her mother. “I’ve been doing it most of my life. And what I can’t handle, Mount can.” She remembered how terrifyingly huge he’d seemed to her when he had lumbered into the clinic. “He promised me I wouldn’t have anything to worry about, that he’d keep an eye on the place. I think just the threat of his intervention is enough to keep most everyone away.”
McGuire couldn’t argue with that. “You have a point. And, to be honest, I’d be lying if I said that a part of me isn’t relieved to have you stay on. Still—”
Shawna cut him off with a smile. “There is no ‘still,’ Doctor.”
Sally placed a well-manicured hand on McGuire’s arm. She came up just to his shoulder.
“Don’t bother arguing with her, Simon. She’s a very headstrong girl. Once her mind is made up, that’s it.” She rolled her eyes. Shawna felt like doing the same but not for effect. “A jackhammer couldn’t get through.” Sally took his arm and was already steering him toward the small kitchen, commandeering his attention just as she did everything else. “Now then, can I interest you in some hotcakes to go along with that coffee, Doctor?”
Even though the back of her head was turned toward her, Shawna could visualize her mother fluttering her lashes at McGuire. Watch yourself, Simon. Mother’s at it again.
She had to admit that this time she was rather surprised at her mother’s choice. Simon McGuire was a lot older than the men her mother gravitated toward. For the first time in her life Shawna felt a nudge of approval at Sally’s choice.
McGuire looked down into the oval face and smiled. “Well, don’t mind if I do.”
As an afterthought, Sally looked over her shoulder at her daughter. “Shawna?”
She was surprised to be included. “I’ve already had breakfast, Mother. But thanks for asking.”
Sally only nodded in reply. “Yes, I suppose you’ve eaten, at that.” Her eyes were almost kindly as she looked at her daughter. “Was it a good party, dear?”
Shawna was expecting a completely different sort of question and was relieved to hear one so innocuous. “Yes.”
“Good.” With that, she turned her attention to the man beside her and the meal she had promised. The first, she hoped, of many.
That, Shawna thought, was the longest mother-daughter conversation they’d ever had where they weren’t discussing one of her mother’s disastrous affairs. It was approximately twenty years late, but better late than never.
She slipped into the bedroom to change her clothes.
And to think.
She stripped off her dress and strove, in vain, not to remember the way Murphy’s hands had felt on her last night when he’d performed the very same ritual. There was a lot to think about. She couldn’t manage that around Murphy. Like the sun, he blotted out what lay ahead when she looked.
Grabbing the first shirt she found in her closet, Shawna shoved her arms through the sleeves of a bright green T-shirt. A pair of cutoff jeans followed. It could have been a grass skirt for all the attention she paid.
She’d never felt like this about a man. Never experienced anything close to it. With Doug her emotions had gone through a slow evolution. Love was a comfortable, warm feeling. It meant security. Serenity. There had never been this wildness that seized her breath, that dissolved her mind and knees until they became the consistency of pond water.
She knew just where she was with Doug. She hadn’t the slightest idea where that was with Murphy. For all she knew, this was his standard mode of operation: overwhelm, make love and leave. When it came to experience, hers was in the operating room and the medical facility.
All this was like a jungle to her.
No, not a jungle, she amended as she picked up her dress and pressed the material to her cheek. Exciting sensations danced all through her. A paradise, that’s what it had been.
Whatever happened later, this isolated evening had given her a glimpse into a place she’d never known. A glimpse of a person she had never been.
She supposed she should be grateful to Murphy for that.
But she wasn’t, she thought as she let the dress fall from her fingers onto the bed.
Because no matter what she said to the contrary, what she insisted upon in her heart, he had made her care.
And she had vowed never to care again.
Chapter Thirteen
She was trying to be patient, she really was. Though it was incredibly difficult for her, Kelly was honestly trying not to meddle in Murphy’s life. She wanted to give Murphy his space and not crowd him.
She had lasted three days, longer than she actually thought she would. By Wednesday the questions were multiplying within her at a prodigious rate and were fairly bursting to get out.
Curiosity was killing her.
In those three days Kelly had interacted with Murphy several times at the office. She had seen him sitting across from her during the morning briefings. At none of these occasions had there been the slightest indication that he had brought someone special with him to the party, someone who’d had a positive effect on his life.
If anything, he was more subdued, which was decidedly unlike Murphy. Had she misread signs at the party
? Shawna and Murphy had seemed so right together.
Thomas had advised her to just “leave Murphy alone.” She loved Thomas, but he was a man, and she firmly believed that he just didn’t understand these kinds of things. She couldn’t just ignore what was under her nose.
Something was up with her brother and she wanted to know what.
As casually as possible, Kelly dropped by Murphy’s office right after she’d returned from lunch. Murphy appeared buried in his work. There were books spread open all over the desk. His computer droned quietly, waiting for further input. It didn’t look as if he’d left his office since he’d come in this morning.
She knew for a fact that he was supposed to have been somewhere other than his desk at ten-thirty. He’d had an appointment with Shawna. One he hadn’t kept. Kelly frowned. Her brother was being perverse as only Murphy could.
When she walked into his office, Murphy glanced up and then returned to what he was doing. That wasn’t like him, either. Murphy always had time to stop for a few words.
“So, how’s everything?”
Murphy punched a few letters into the keyboard before even answering. “Hectic.”
“I see.”
Kelly cast about for some way to work into the subject. This just wasn’t normal, this awkward feeling she was experiencing around Murphy. This man she’d seen for the past few days in the office was a stranger to her.
He was quiet, she thought, worried. He hadn’t even been like this after Janice walked out on him.
Something was definitely wrong.
Kelly fingered a leather-bound volume. Originally, she’d wanted to pump Murphy for information as to his feelings about a woman she believed was perfect for him. Now her concern reversed. Had Shawna dumped Murphy? Had she done something to hurt him? Sisterly loyalty raised its head.
Murphy made another notation on the screen, wishing he could think clearly. His brain felt as if it were in some holding tank, soaked in water. Kelly moving around the room didn’t help matters any.
He glanced in her direction. “Is there some reason you’re hovering around my office, Kell, or are you just practicing landing patterns?”
She stopped moving and perched on the edge of Murphy’s desk. “Charming as usual, I see.”
He set his mouth grimly. “Yes, everything’s just as usual.” No, it wasn’t, he thought, and that was just the problem. His problem, and he would work it out.
Kelly looked at him as thoughts moved like a creeping fog across Murphy’s face. He could fool a lot of people, but he couldn’t fool her. She was too tuned in to him. “Is it?”
He was defensive before he could prevent it. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
They both knew the answer to that, so she gave him a knowing look and let it go. She went, instead, to the heart of the matter. Shawna.
Picking up a pen from his desk, she twirled it as if it was the most fascinating thing she’d ever seen. Very carelessly she interjected, “I liked her.”
He’d been hoping that Kelly wouldn’t start, but he’d been braced for the past three days, expecting it. He blew out an irritated breath and returned to the Kelso file. “Yeah, well, so did I.”
Did. Had he changed his mind? Why? Damn, but he was annoying.
“But?” Kelly prodded, wanting to shake the words out of him. They’d never kept secrets, she and Murphy. It hurt that he’d start now.
Impatience creased his brow. If he’d worked this out to his satisfaction, he could say something. But it was one giant knot. A knot he thought best to abandon rather than undo.
“No buts, Kell. Look, I’m busy....” He gestured toward the open books.
But Kelly wasn’t looking where he gestured. She was looking into his eyes. “Is it serious?”
He shrugged, pulling the file and a few of the books closer, a settler circling the wagons against an Indian attack. “The IRS isn’t investigating, if that’s what you mean.”
So much for the subtle approach. “That is not what I mean and you know it.” She placed a hand over the open file, blocking his access to it. “I was talking about you and Shawna. Is it serious between you?” Because it sure as hell looked that way to her from here. If it wasn’t, he would be making jokes about it, tossing it off the way he did everything.
Murphy shrugged. The denial was on his tongue but wouldn’t materialize. He rarely lied and never to Kelly. “Maybe.”
Finally! He was finally serious about someone. She was beginning to think the day would never come again. Eagerness began to bubble within her like soda shaken in a can. “So?”
The look he gave her had No Trespassing written all over it. “Back off, Kell.”
She didn’t move an inch, physically or otherwise. “You know better than that.” He was her brother. She wasn’t about to treat this nonchalantly. “You were supposed to see her this morning,” she began.
“How would you know that?” He’d canceled his appointment. It had been the cowardly way out, but he needed time, he thought, time to piece things together. Time to get hold of himself before everything got out of hand.
Kelly indicated his desk calendar with her eyes. “I snooped while you were in court yesterday.” Her voice softened as she delved for answers. “Why didn’t you go?”
For more reasons than he had time to enumerate. “I broke the appointment.”
“That’s obvious. It’s also obvious that you’re avoiding the question.”
He rose and shoved his hands into his pockets. The view from his window was the Pacific. It was tranquil today, so blue that it almost hurt to look at it. All he could think of were her eyes. “Maybe I don’t like the question.”
She saw the defensive set of his shoulders. And then it came to her. “You really care about her, don’t you?” When he didn’t answer, she repeated the question more doggedly, thinking that if she could get him to admit it aloud, they’d be halfway there. “Don’t you?”
He might as well tell her. If he didn’t, she would stay here and drive him crazy. “Yes.” He realized that he’d shouted the word. Restless, he moved around the wood-paneled office feeling trapped by his own decisions.
“So?” Why wasn’t he doing something about it? she thought, exasperated.
“So I’m stopping it now, before it goes any further.”
He saw Kelly’s mouth drop open and knew more questions were on the way. Struggling, he got a grip on his impatience. She was only concerned about him, and he shouldn’t be snapping her head off.
“I have to be crazy to have gotten myself in so deep that I didn’t even see the signs.” His mouth quirked and Kelly had the impression that, in a way, he was talking to himself more than to her. “She has a way about her, I don’t know....”
Murphy ran his hand along the back of his neck. Words ordinarily came easily to him. He found himself digging for each one.
“On the one hand, she’s so damn independent it’s a challenge to get close to her.” That’s what had started it, he told himself with little conviction. The challenge. He turned to look at his sister. “And when I do, there’s this vulnerable center that needs me. Needs me while she’s trying to push me away with both hands.”
If she wasn’t convinced before, Kelly was now. “Sounds to me like you’re in the middle of a relationship.”
He laughed. She made it sound so easy. But then, she had a solid marriage to fall back on. He had only one overwhelmingly shattering experience. “Or hell.”
There was a glimmer of humor in his eyes, which gave her hope. “Funny, that probably would have been the way Thomas would have described our first months together.”
Murphy looked at Kelly knowingly, his affection rising to the fore. “If you’re anything like this at home, he’s probably still describing it that way.”
Kelly slid off the desk and gave him a playful shove on the arm. He might be her older brother, but she worried about him. Worried about his being hurt and, more than that, worried that because he wouldn’t
risk something permanent, he would wind up being alone. It was a fate she didn’t want to see. “Want my advice?”
He sat at his desk again and prepared to tune her out. “No.”
She ignored his answer. Like a horse, Murphy had to be led to water. And she was going to persist until he drank. Kelly flipped the pages of his desk calendar. “Make a new appointment.”
“I feel fine.” And he did. The dizziness had left, and there were no more bouts of blurred vision. He hadn’t had an episode since that one when they’d made love. Murphy saw no point in borrowing trouble by pursuing the matter.
Kelly looked at him pointedly. She saw things that he couldn’t quite manage to hide. “You never did lie very well.”
She retreated for the time being, silently declaring an end to the first round. Murphy gave no indication that he was going to do anything except continue to work on the file he had open before him.
Damn. The man was stubborn to a fault, she thought with a frustrated pang. She couldn’t very well call Shawna herself. That would be going too far, even for her. She just had to remain patient and hope that somehow he’d come to his senses. Other than that, she couldn’t do anything except be there for him when he needed it. It didn’t feel like very much.
Kelly closed the door behind her. It met the frame a little more firmly than it normally would have.
Murphy winced. Once the door was shut, he gave up attempting to make sense out of his notes. He was going through his own version of diminishing returns. The more he concentrated, the less focused he felt.
He threw down his pen and dragged his hand through his hair.
What could he have been thinking of, allowing himself to get involved this way? He cared about Shawna and he didn’t want to. More than anything, he didn’t want to.
He should have seen it coming. Right from the start it had been different with her. He had never pursued where he wasn’t invited. And yet, something—male pride, a death wish, he thought with a cryptic smile, something—had urged him on until he was up to his hips in quicksand before he realized that he’d stepped over the guardrail and left the safe path behind.
Husband: Some Assembly Required Page 19
