by Liz Lovelock
I rush off to class, having a schedule full of classes to distract me for most of the day. My phone vibrates in my back pocket. Pulling it out, I purse my lips and sigh at Aiden’s name on the screen.
Aiden: I’m sorry if I upset you. That’s all I seem to be good at lately. I have to tell you something before anything can be official. Meet me tonight at the basketball court.
I chew my bottom lip, wondering what he could possibly have to tell me. I hit reply.
Elsie: Okay…
It’s all I can manage to write for fear of reading something I don’t want to see.
Hours later, it’s time for lunch, and I head to the café to meet Addison.
“Hey,” she greets me. We find a table and drop our butts into the only spare booth. It’s one of the busiest times to eat here.
“Hey,” I reply, placing my bag by the side of my chair.
Addison leans forward and rests her head on her hands with her elbows on the table. She’s giving me a raised eyebrow, what-went-on-last-night kind of look. “So, tell me what happened last night and this morning,” she says in a singsong kind of voice.
My cheeks heat up. “Not much to tell…”
She pushes back in her seat. “Oh, don’t you hold out on me. Give me details.”
I grin stupidly before saying, “Okay.” Then, I fill her in on the night with Aiden. Butterflies tickle the inside of my stomach as I recall and think about everything that happened last night.
When I finish, all Addison manages is a breathless, “Wow,” and I nod.
“So, what happened this morning with your grumpy attitude?”
“Well, he typed a message to me but didn’t hit send. Rookie mistake. All is forgiven. But now he’s acting weird, and after I told him I liked him and was implying that I’d like this thing between us to be more, he went funny, and now he has something to tell me.”
Before Addison can respond, Parker slides in beside her. “Tell you what?”
I wave my hand. “Don’t worry. Just Aiden and his secret—”
“Oh, so he told you that the girlfriend he told you about isn’t real. Never was.” Parker reaches for a fry on Addison’s plate while my stomach plummets to the floor, and my heart cracks.
“What did you say?” Addison turns toward Parker, her eyes becoming slits.
“What? You said he’d told you,” Parker replies through a mouthful of fries.
“No, I didn’t. You came in on half a conversation. I said he has something to tell me. Is that it? He never really had a g-girlfriend in the first p-place?” My voice cracks, and my chin starts to tremble. Surely, this can’t be happening.
I start analyzing the conversations we’ve had about his girlfriend. He always seemed to go weird when I brought her up. I guess this would explain why. He lied.
“Wait a second, how long have you known? Because you came in as if you’ve known for some time.” I point an accusing finger at Parker. He’s supposed to be my friend. I turn to Addison, and my eyes narrow. “Did you know? You two share everything, so you must have known.” My chest feels as if it might explode, while breathing physically starts to hurt.
Addison’s hands go up in defense. “I promise you I didn’t know.” Her fiery gaze lands on Parker, whose face clearly has paled. “You’ve known this? For how long?” She pokes a finger into Parker’s chest while I watch the exchange.
“The night we went to the movies.” Parker’s face screws up, and my mouth drops open.
“I can’t believe this,” I whisper. My head hangs while I try to focus on the half-eaten plate of food in front of me. A million things are running through my head. I want answers. What am I going to do?
“Elsie…” Addison’s tenderness causes me to look up. She’s blurry as tears are filling my eyes and threatening to fall over my lids. “Why would he lie?” I ask breathlessly.
Addison reaches out and takes my hand. “I’m sure there’s a good reason for it.”
“Perhaps this is why he becomes weird with me when I mention her.”
“It would explain a lot.” There’s bitterness in her words by the tone in her voice.
I turn to look at Parker. “Why didn’t you tell me?” It hurts more, knowing Parker knew and didn’t bring it to my attention.
“Yes, why didn’t you tell us?” Addison chimes in with such anger it sounds like he’s going to be in trouble when they get behind closed doors. That’s not what I care about right now, though.
“I…” His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows. “I told him that I would give him the chance to tell you first.”
“You should have told me.” I reach over and pick up my bag, throwing it over my shoulder before storming out of the café.
Addison calls my name, but I don’t want to talk right now.
I want answers.
Simple, truthful answers.
And there’s only one way to get them.
Walking out of my last class before lunch, my phone sounds off, alerting me to a message. I finally turned up the volume yesterday in an attempt to try harder. I smile when I see Elsie’s name.
Elsie: I need to talk now. Meet me at the court.
Aiden: Everything okay?
Worry fills me as I wait for her reply. Thankfully, I don’t have to wait long.
Elsie: No.
With her single-word response, I take off running to find out what’s wrong.
Minutes later, I’m pushing through the door into the basketball court, where I laid eyes on Elsie for the second time. When I step inside, I catch her pacing up and down the side of the court.
“Hey, beautiful, what’s wrong?” I stride over to her, wanting to wrap her in my arms and assure her that, no matter what, everything will be all right.
When her face meets mine, my feet halt in their tracks. Her face is red and tear-stained.
“Don’t you beautiful me, you liar,” she grits out from between her teeth while pointing a sharp finger my way.
What’s going on?
“What are you talking about?” I move toward her again, but she moves away. She won’t let me touch or comfort her.
“You lied,” she screams, her face turning beet red.
She knows.
How though?
“You know,” I state the obvious.
Elsie’s arms fly in the air then move back to her face, where she covers her tears. “Why didn’t you tell me from the start? Instead, I found out by the slip of Parker’s tongue.”
I take in a huge breath. Damn! It was only a matter of time before this came out, and she’s right, I should have told her ages ago. “I’m sorry. I did it because I didn’t want anyone getting hurt—myself included.”
“Bit late for that now. I look like a damn fool.” Elsie’s legs start moving again, but I need her to stop pacing. I desperately want to hold her, kiss her, and make this all better.
“This was never a fling.” My voice rises with each word.
She finally stops pacing and turns my way.
“This between us was—and still is, hopefully—more,” I state.
“Pfft… you expect me to believe anything you say now?”
I rush to her, taking her face in my hands. She tries to pull away, but I won’t let her. I draw her into my arms and hold her little body against me. “I’m not a liar. I did it to protect myself… and you…” I pause for a moment. She stops trying to escape my grip, so I continue. “I did it to protect myself and anyone else who fell for me. You, especially you. When I first met you in the library, I knew you’d be hard for me to keep away from.” My voice softens as I gently hold her out so I can look her in the eyes, for Elsie to see that I’m telling her the truth.
“You could have easily said that you didn’t want a relationship. Not that we’re even in one.” Elsie rolls her eyes. Her eyes are still pink, but thankfully, the tears have stopped. My chest aches at the thought that I brought those tears to the surface. I never, ever intended to hurt Elsie.
“I don’t regret us. If anything, the time we’ve had together has been the best ever. I don’t ever want to leave here. If I have to go, then I want you to come with me.” I don’t miss her breath hitching as I speak, and every single word I’ve just said is the truth.
Elsie pulls herself out of my arms, crossing hers in front of her.
I’ve broken her.
My chest aches as I stare at her. The happy Elsie has vanished, and it’s all because of me.
“Elsie…” I reach for her while the lump in my throat swells.
“Don’t. This…”—she waves her hand between us—“is over. You don’t have to worry about anything when you leave. I’m done with this.” Elsie doesn’t even sound like herself, and I can’t believe I’ve done this to her.
“Please d-don’t do t-this.” My words crack, just like my heart.
“It’s done. Now leave me alone.” She picks up her bag and walks out, a shell of the girl I knew this morning.
“Dude, what the hell?” I lash out at Parker.
We’re standing in our kitchen, talking, because I couldn’t even finish my classes today. My head’s all over the place. I can’t get the image of broken Elsie out of my mind. Her eyes lost their sparkle, and her brilliant smile faded into my forest of lies.
“Man, I’m so sorry. It just slipped out.”
As we are speaking, the door flies open and in charges a raging bull—Addison. Her lips form a thin line, her eyebrows are furrowed, and I can feel the disdain emanating off her.
“How could you do this to her? She trusted you.” Addison steps up to me and shoves my shoulder. “Why make up a stupid lie? She would have respected your wishes had you told her from the start that you didn’t want anything serious.” A frustrated growl rises from her throat. “Why are boys so damn clueless?”
“It wasn’t my intention. I know now I’ve done the wrong thing. How do I fix this, Addison?” I plead.
She takes a seat at the counter. “Don’t think you’re off the hook either, buddy.” She gives Parker a death stare.
“It wasn’t my fault. Okay, yes, I helped cover it up, but I was giving him a chance to do it himself.” Parker waves his hand toward me from the opposite side of the counter.
“You shouldn’t have done that. And as for fixing this, I don’t know. She won’t talk to me about it.” Her voice begins to soften.
“I need to fix this.”
“Yes, you do, because the girl I saw before I came here is the lowest I’ve ever seen her. It breaks my heart that I can’t fix this for her. I can yell and carry on at you, but in the end, it’s not going to make Elsie feel any better. I suggest you keep trying to reach out to her if it’s her you want.”
“I want her, and I’m going to fix this.”
I’m numb. The week has been a blur. I even canceled all my tutoring because I can’t bring myself to face people. I walked in the door from my classes an hour ago and planted my ass firmly on the couch and have surrounded myself with all the sugary goodness a girl needs in a situation like this.
On the coffee table sits Twinkies, Twizzlers, chocolate ice cream, and plenty of soda. I don’t plan to move from this spot all weekend.
Aiden has tried to talk to me through the week, but I’ve brushed him off. His text messages haven’t stopped. Funny how now it seems he’s connected himself to his phone again. I get about five messages a day, but I can’t bring myself to reply.
My phone vibrates, and I pick it up from the table. It is an email from the mystery man ‘A’ for tutoring. What does he want?
Hey Elsie,
As I’m sure you know, this is me, Aiden. I have my poem here for you to check. It’s rather cheesy, but I think it speaks volumes. Again, I’m sorry for what I did. Please forgive me?
A Kiss
A kiss I send into the night,
With hopes and dreams, it might take flight.
Out this window and through the trees,
My thoughts of you are what blows its breeze.
Tossed and turned along the way,
Its course is true and will never stray.
Until this kiss has found your lips,
It will keep searching and will never miss.
If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I’d love to give you this kiss and give you and me another go.
Yours,
Aiden
Tears drip from my chin as the words from the poem touch my broken heart. The door to the dorm flies open, and the girls walk in just in time to see my fresh lot of tears. I don’t know if they’re because of my broken heart or if they’re because I think he really is sorry.
“Oh, honey.” Addison rushes to my side, as do Willow and Jane. All their stares fall on my collection of half-eaten food and wrappers.
“Are you planning to put yourself into a sugar coma this weekend?” Willow laughs.
I shrug. “Doesn’t seem like a bad idea to me.”
“Nope, you’re going to get your ass off that chair and get ready, because we’re going out,” Addison says.
I’m already shaking my head before she’s even finished her sentence. “Nope, not happening. This girl is staying right here.” I point to the couch where I’m sitting.
I have three sets of pitying eyes staring at me. Addison stands, looks at me for a moment, then she takes my arm. “Time to stop wallowing. We need to get drunk.”
Willow and Jane squeal in excitement. Those two love parties. I used to but not so much anymore.
“I don’t want to,” I moan, pulling against Addison’s tugs.
“I’m not taking no for an answer.”
Hours and lots of alcohol later, I’m standing out in front of the boys’ house. Music vibrates against the walls, and bodies spill out onto the front lawn.
I don’t want to be here.
At least the effects of the tequila are helping me put one foot in front of the other.
Addison hooks her arm through mine and pulls me along with her. I’m wearing a black, fitted dress that sits just above my knee. I didn’t want to dress up like I usually would. I’m not out to impress anyone. I’m simply here because they made me. These girls. As much as I love them for trying to take my mind off what’s going on, I don’t want to take a chance on seeing Aiden.
Maybe he won’t be here.
A girl can only dream.
The house is jampacked, as usual, after the huge game they played today. We didn’t go like we normally would have. I wonder if Addy is still mad at Parker?
“What’s up, girls?” Dane stands in front of us while his eyes scan around, searching.
“She’s coming later,” I say, knowing full well who he’s looking for.
“Ah… yeah, thanks. If you’re looking for the rest of the boys, they’re out back.” We all nod but head in the opposite direction to where the keg sits and is being filled by none other than Clifton.
“Hey there, Elsie.” Clifton smiles, leaning over and pulling me into his arms. I fight the urge to pull away, because I know he’s drunk. His hands start to move from between my shoulder blades and head south toward my ass.
Thankfully, his hand doesn’t make it any further because I’m being reefed away. When I glance around to see who it is, a hard stare passes through me and directly at Clifton. Aiden’s hands are clenched by his sides in hard fists. The muscles in his arms tense. “What are you doing touching my girl? Keep your grubby paws off her.”
Clifton laughs. A tiny part of me wants to say I’m not your girl, but my lips remain shut. “From what I hear, she’s not your girl. Never was, actually.”
Damn, word spreads fast around here.
Nothing remains a secret.
“Well, what you heard is wrong,” Aiden states, his large arms crossing over his tight navy shirt. Damn, he looks good with his hair slicked back and that shirt hugging him in all the right places; it makes me want him even more. Damn, he looks sexy.
“Get over yourself, Aiden. You’re gonna leave, and the
n she’ll be all mine.”
Aiden releases a puff of air while his face darkens. I grab his arm, not wanting him to get into trouble because of me. He turns toward me.
“Don’t.” It’s all I can manage, and it’s enough for Aiden to understand.
“Believe what you want, but she’s mine. So, keep your hands to yourself.”
“Oh, I’ll have fun with her when you’re gone.” Clifton’s laugh is vile and makes my skin crawl in a way I’ve never experienced before. No guy has ever made me this uncomfortable to be around. I don’t even want to be in the same room as Clifton.
It’s as though it plays out in slow motion, and yet, I can’t stop him. Aiden rushes at Clifton, his hand clenched. Next thing I hear is his fist connecting with Clifton’s nose. My hand flies to my mouth, and then it’s as if my numb brain switches on.
Aiden stands over Clifton, his breath heaving. I can tell he wants to hit him again, so I reach for his hand, but he flinches away. I reach for Aiden again. His head flicks around, his eyes burn into mine, and I know I need to get Aiden out of this situation and away from Clifton.
“You’ll pay for this.” Clifton stands, throwing his threat directly at Aiden.
I step in front of Aiden. “Clifton, leave me alone. I’m not interested in dating you. Find a new tutor, because I’m done with you.”
Suddenly, I feel a warm hand pressing into mine.
My racing heart calms almost instantly at Aiden’s touch.
Clifton scampers away down the hall and out the back. We’ve drawn the attention of most of the people.
Turning to them, I say, “Carry on, nothing to see here.” Then, I spin around to face the guy who still has my hand, and he’s taken a firm grip back on my heart.
“Elsie…” Addison runs up to us. Her eyes are focused on me.
“It’s okay. I don’t think he’ll be coming near me again anytime soon,” I say.
“Still, I’m sorry.”
I release Aiden’s hand, and before I know it, I’m pulled into Addison’s hug. “It’s all good.”
Addison releases me and turns to Aiden. “Thanks for helping her when I didn’t.”
“All good.” Aiden stares hungrily at me, and my lower abdomen tingles. “Would you excuse us for a moment? Also, Addison, you need to forgive Parker. He only did what I asked, and he’s given me plenty of chances to fix my mistake. Don’t blame him for something I’ve done.”
