by Jamie Beck
“Join us for dinner?”
“Sure. I should talk to your dad. I don’t want to be disrespectful by running around with you behind his back.”
Gabby rolled her eyes. “I’m not sixteen. It’s up to me who I do or don’t see.”
“I know. Still, I don’t want to come between you two.” Jackson turned on the blower. “Go on inside. I’ve got this.”
“Dinner’s at six,” she yelled over the din.
Jackson nodded and put on his sunglasses before setting about clearing the rest of the leaves.
Gabby skipped up the porch steps, giddy with hope. She hadn’t been unhappy before Jackson arrived in town. Despite the bumps in the road, she loved her dad, her son, and her little business so much, she almost hadn’t noticed that something was missing. Or maybe she’d just learned not to expect romance in her situation. But now the most handsome, thoughtful guy she’d ever met chose to take a chance on her.
Somehow she’d find a way to hold on to this hopeful feeling, even if Jackson had to go too soon. This unfamiliar bliss was worth risking everything.
Gabby tucked Luc into bed, eager to return to the living room where she’d left her dad and Jackson. Her stomach gurgled, partly from upset and partly from hunger. She’d barely eaten thanks to nervous anticipation of Jackson’s talk with her dad and her dad’s unusually reserved conduct during dinner.
She kissed Luc’s forehead and set Curious George Goes to the Hospital on the nightstand. “’Night, buster.”
Before she shut off the light, she caught sight of herself in the mirror and flushed, suddenly shy about the fact that she’d put on a dress and lip gloss before dinner. Subtlety had never been a word that applied to her. The outfit had earned her a raised brow from her dad and a heated gaze from Jackson, who’d taken particular interest in her bare legs.
By the time she arrived in the living room, the tension-filled silence informed her that Jackson had already started the awkward discussion with her father.
Jackson looked up at her from the sofa, so she took a seat beside him. Then she held his hand so he knew she wouldn’t let her dad come between them. Never one to mince words, she asked, “Who died?”
Jackson’s lips quirked, but he repressed his smile. Her father, on the other hand, found no humor in her attitude.
“Jackson’s trying to convince me that this itch you two want to scratch isn’t going to cause any problems.” Her dad shook his head. “And I—”
But Gabby cut him off. “I know what you think, Dad.”
“Do you?” He glanced at Jackson. “Jackson, I appreciate your honesty, but now I’d like some time alone with my daughter.”
Jackson squeezed her hand before he nodded. “Of course. Thanks for hearing me out.” Then he looked at Gabby. “I’ll speak with you later.”
She watched him exit the room, but didn’t look at her dad until she heard Jackson close the front door.
Her father stared at her, his gaze soft and sad. “I want every good thing for you. You think I don’t want you to fall in love? You think I’m glad you only have one parent you can count on? I’ve never wanted to hold you back or keep you from growing up, Gabby. But I can’t stand to see you suffer. Look at me. Hear me. I’ve been where you are. Why can’t you learn from my mistakes instead of repeating them?”
She paused and gave thought to his question . . . his very reasonable question. He’d rushed into love, and when trouble had arrived, he’d believed he could fix it. He’d suffered through his wife’s lies. He’d cleaned up her puke, forgiven her stealing their money to buy drugs—but in the end, all he got for all that love was a broken heart. Of course he didn’t want to see Gabby end up in his shoes. But Gabby wasn’t her dad, and he had to start cutting the cord and letting her live life her way.
“I don’t know why, Dad. I have to learn for myself. I can handle getting hurt,” she finally replied. “What I can’t handle is making decisions solely for the sake of avoiding risk.” She shrugged. “I need to see these things with Jackson and Mom through so I don’t wonder ‘what if’ for the rest of my life. ‘What if’ is the worst kind of regret.”
Her father’s heavy sigh filled the room, but miraculously, he appeared resigned. “Please promise me one thing.”
“What?”
His fingertips pressed into the arms of the chair, his expression filled with concern. “Be careful not to give your whole heart too soon . . . to either of them.”
“Oh, Dad.” Gabby slid off the sofa, kissed her dad’s head, and awkwardly hugged him in his chair. “I can’t give my whole heart to anyone when you and Luc already have half of it.”
For the first time all evening, her dad smiled. “I love you.”
“Love you, too.”
An hour later, Gabby knocked on Jackson’s door. Her entire body tingled in anticipation of seeing, touching, kissing him. She practically vibrated while standing outside waiting for the door to open. When it did, her heart leapt.
“Wasn’t sure you’d be coming.” Jackson tugged her inside.
As soon as he closed the door, he pinned her against it with his body and kissed her hard. Another cascade of goose bumps broke out across her skin, making her shiver.
Jackson’s hands roamed her jaw, scalp, and waist while his mouth never broke contact with hers. She met each hot, greedy kiss with equal longing, and yanked at his plaid flannel pajama pants.
She could feel the hard length of his arousal grinding against her stomach. Then his hand slid up her inner thigh and beneath her underpants, making her glad she’d worn the dress. “Jackson!”
He broke the kiss and gazed directly in her eyes as his finger slipped inside her body. She arched her back and pulled at his shirt. His jaw clenched and then he kissed her neck. “I want you now, like this, up against the wall.”
“Then take your pants off.” Gabby shoved at the waistband to free him.
He reached into his sweatshirt pocket and retrieved a condom. Once he’d torn open the packet and fitted himself, he kissed her again and impatiently groped her breasts. Finally he cupped her butt and lifted her onto her toes. She wrapped one leg around his waist and cried out upon his swift entry, then curled her arms around his neck and held on as each fierce thrust sent shock waves of pleasure to her core.
He filled her with rough, raw desire, groaning in the heat of the moment as their bodies repeatedly bumped against the door. This was a possession, a full-body invasion. The intensity of the coupling excited her, coiling tighter and tighter until she burst apart in his arms. “Oh, Jackson. Yes!”
His mouth crushed hers in a punishing kiss as he drove himself home a few more times before she felt his body shudder.
She began to lower her leg, but he clasped it and held her in place while he caught his breath. He nuzzled her neck, which felt sweet and sexy.
“That was hot.” Jackson tipped his head. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
“No.” She kept her arms around his neck as he eased her off his body.
“Sorry for attacking you like some brute, but,” he paused, then shrugged, “I couldn’t help myself. I kept thinking of your legs in that dress and I got myself a little worked up before you arrived.”
“Quite a greeting.”
He kissed her nose. “Let me get dressed and take you out.”
“What?” she asked over laughter.
“Let’s go do something—a movie, coffee, music? I don’t want you to think I’m only in this for booty calls.”
“What if I’m only in it for booty calls?”
He stilled and his expression transformed from warm and playful to wary. “Are you?”
“No.” Then quietly, she added, “But we shouldn’t forget this kinda has an expiration date.”
“Don’t dwell on that.” Jackson grabbed both her hands. “Come on, let’s do something fun.”
“We just did something fun. How ’bout we do that again?”
“Later.” He grinned. “Let’s get ou
t of here and go someplace.”
“I want to stick nearby in case my dad or Luc needs me.” She wondered if her obligations would end up boring him before he even left Vermont.
“Okay, then how about we go light up the fire pit, or walk down to the pond and look for satellites?”
The fact he remembered she liked to do that melted her heart and washed away her insecurity. “That sounds nice. It’s not too windy tonight, but we should bring a blanket. It’s still cold.”
“I like it nippy. Makes me feel alive.” Jackson turned to grab warmer clothing and tossed her a pair of sweatpants for her bare legs.
She eyed him, head to toe, while dragging his too-big pants over her shoes. “I can promise you, you’re very much alive.”
He glanced over his shoulder while pulling on a heavy fleece jacket. “And feeling better than I have in a long time, thanks to you.”
“Glad to help.” She watched him grab the quilt from his bed.
“All set.”
As they meandered down the wooded path toward the pond, she noticed the way the moonlight filtered through the leafless branches, creating a web of light. In the clearing, the moonbeams fell across the glassy black water.
Jackson stopped and spread the quilt on the ground, then lay on his back and gestured for her to join him. She nestled beside him, her head pillowed by his shoulder.
Wispy gray clouds passed overhead while they lay watching the sky. Despite the cool temperature, she felt warm and content.
“Is that one?” Jackson asked, pointing at a faint white pinpoint steadily moving among the stars.
“Good eyes for an old man.” Gabby poked fun at the age difference, hoping her joke would show him how trivial it was.
“Not that old.” He hugged her closer.
“I don’t know, is that a gray hair I see?” She pretended to find a silver strand, but then he quickly rolled her onto her back and braced himself over her.
“Now my eight years on you make me look old?” He grinned, but Gabby’s thoughts oddly went to her mother. Probably because it had been almost as long since she’d seen her mom. How had those years changed the woman she last saw? Would her hair be graying? Would she be fat or thin?
“What’s wrong?” Jackson touched her cheek.
She saw concern in his eyes. “Sorry. I just realized how long it’s been since I’ve seen my mom. Will I even recognize her?”
“Sure you will.” Jackson stroked her hair. “She’ll look different, but she’s your mom. You’ll know her. I’m sure she feels as nervous as you do. After all, she’s the one who screwed up.”
“I’m glad you’re going with me.” She nestled closer. “I don’t think I could do it alone.”
“I’m happy to go, but I’ve no doubt you can do anything on your own. You’re tougher than most people I’ve ever known. If my mom had been able to meet you, she’d have liked you straightaway.”
Gabby’s eyes watered from the compliment, because although Jackson didn’t often speak of his mother, he wore his respect and affection for her on his face. “Thanks for saying that.”
“Thanks for reminding me that there are good people in the world.”
“Good? Lots of people considered me trashy for a long while.” Gabby frowned. “Maybe your family wouldn’t be so pleased to meet me.”
Jackson’s expression turned dark. “I hate that anyone ever made you feel bad about who you are. Trust me, you are . . . you are pretty perfect.”
“Apparently all your drinking did mess with your brain.” She laughed, but then grimaced. “Sorry, I was kidding. I didn’t mean to joke about the drinking . . . gosh, it’s not even funny.”
“Shush.” He grinned and kissed her, apparently not offended by her gaffe.
She melted beneath him, happy to let him go on with his misconception. No need to let reality spoil what little time they had to share.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Gabby tied her hair back into a low ponytail and triple-checked her appearance. She looked tired. Not surprising, considering the fact that she’d spent the past two nights getting little sleep. Between her midnight runs to Jackson and the tossing and turning in anticipation of her “reunion” with her mother, she’d probably clocked less than eight hours of sleep in total.
She glanced at her phone. Thirty-five minutes from now, she’d see her mother. Clutching her stomach, she vowed not to throw up, although maybe it would offer relief at this point. Each time nausea brewed, it renewed her resentment. Her mom should be the nervous one, not her. Gabby hadn’t done anything wrong. She didn’t have to atone for mistakes.
A knock at the door startled her. Jackson, no doubt. Thank God he’d agreed to come. His presence steadied her. She reminded herself not to get used to that kind of security. He’d be leaving soon, and she couldn’t afford to fall apart in his absence. The acknowledgement of his inevitable departure forced a sigh.
Her days would soon return to the long, predictable kind she’d grown accustomed to these past years. She couldn’t bear to think of how lonely the days—and nights—would feel when Jackson left. It didn’t matter that he’d only been in her orbit mere weeks. In that time, she’d come to know him so well.
Not the little details, like the name of his first girlfriend, or his favorite meal, or his dream vacation. But she understood him. Like how she had to wait for him to confide something rather than push him for answers. Or how he went out of his way for other people because it made him feel needed. That, she believed, was the key to Jackson’s happiness. He needed to be needed—not that he’d admit it.
She trotted down the stairs, but her father had beaten her to the door. She found him and Jackson in the small entry.
Thankfully, her dad had stopped trying to talk her out of dating Jackson—a small but important victory in her tug-of-war for independence. Of course, today Jackson would be the least of her father’s concerns.
She wondered if some small part of him was curious to see his ex-wife. If he had any wistful, secret place in his heart that harbored a drop of love for her and what they’d once shared. But she wouldn’t ask. Gabby may have lacked a normal person’s sense of boundaries, but even she recognized when something was too private, too personal to invade.
“I made you a plate of leftovers for lunch, so you can stick it in the microwave.” She went up on her toes to kiss her dad’s cheek, needing to somehow console him. “I’ll pick up Luc on my way home, so I’ll see you around five, okay?”
She hadn’t seen her father look this stoic since the day she’d told him about her pregnancy. At least she could count on his constancy, though. He never raised his voice. Never freaked out, like some parents she’d seen. No. When he got angry or afraid, he turned stony and cold. Like now.
“I’m good.” He didn’t smile or pinch her cheek or do any of the little things he typically did when saying good-bye. “Jackson, I assume you’ll step in if things take a bad turn.”
“Try not to worry.” Jackson’s gaze didn’t waver. “Let’s all hope for the best.”
Gabby smiled, thankful for the small ray of optimism Jackson offered. At least he didn’t think her crazy for needing to hear her mom out. Jackson held the door open for Gabby and, after they’d exited the house, grabbed her hand as they strolled to his Jeep.
“How are you?” he asked while opening the passenger door.
She scooted onto the seat and looked at him. “I’ll try not to throw up in your car.”
“That would be nice, thanks.” He grinned. “You know you’ll be fine. You’re a lot tougher than you give yourself credit for, Gabby.”
A minute later, he revved the engine and backed out of the driveway. On the drive to the motel, Gabby started doubting her entire plan. Initially she’d thought meeting privately in her mom’s room, away from the prying eyes of nosy neighbors, would be best. But maybe a public setting would’ve been wiser. At the very least, any awkward pauses—which she expected would occur—wouldn’t also be s
ilent.
She placed her hand over her stomach again while she stared out the window at the near-barren trees.
Jackson reached across the console and squeezed one of her hands. She invited that warmth to travel straight to her heart. “I can only guess the hundred questions running through your mind right now. I’m sure your mom is as nervous. So what’s your plan? Are you going to ask a bunch of questions, or first listen to what she has to say?”
“I don’t know.” Gabby worried her lip. “What would you do?”
Jackson chuckled. “I’m not a big talker, so I’d wait and let her go first. But you aren’t me. You aren’t afraid to ask or answer anything, so maybe you’d rather take control of the meeting right from the start.”
“You’re right.” Gabby smiled. She liked how he considered her to be capable and strong. Not many people in her life thought of her that way. “I like the idea of being in charge.”
“See how easy that was?” He squeezed her hand again and smiled. Every time she witnessed one of his genuine smiles, it awed her, like the first time she’d seen the sunrise over the Atlantic the one and only time she’d been to Cape Cod.
“Thanks for coming today. Honestly, this must be so weird for you. You barely know me, and here I am dragging you into this awkward situation.” Her cheeks warmed from embarrassment.
“Oh, I think I know you pretty well by now.” Jackson shot a wolfish grin her way before returning his eyes to the road. “Besides, maybe watching you will give me some tips on how to deal with my own family.”
His tone had been light, but she suspected that statement carried a fair amount of truth.
“You’ve never shared all the nitty-gritty details with me. I won’t pry, but I hope you know you can trust me.”
“Let’s tackle one family crisis at a time.” He didn’t smile this time. His eyes remained fixed on the road ahead, so she let it drop.
A few minutes later, she pointed. “Up there, on the right.”
Jackson pulled the car into the motel parking lot and killed the engine. He swiveled in his seat. “We can wait until you’re ready.”
