by Liz Isaacson
“Mm hm. Are you sure that doesn’t have anything to do with the woman making them?”
“You think he has a crush on Aunt Shirley?” Erin dissolved into giggles, the sheer fact that she was with Tess improving her mood drastically. And she hadn’t even eaten any pie yet.
“Your aunt still isn’t letting you do more than cookies?”
“No, I do the bread now too. Takes some of the burden off Doug.”
“But nothing with the pies.”
“Not yet.”
“How does she expect to retire if she won’t let you take over?”
Erin hadn’t come up here to discuss her job frustrations. She had a job, and that was all that mattered. She shrugged. “It’ll be a slow transition. Aunt Shirley just doesn’t run the front of the house anymore, that’s all. I think that itself helps a lot.”
Tess sliced the pie and put three pieces on three plates. “Let me run this out to Walker.” She stepped through the back door, but held it open with her hip. Walker sat on the stoop and said, “Thanks, love,” before Tess turned around and let the door close between them.
“Didn’t think you’d get married again,” Erin said, her voice much too forced to be casual.
“It’s strange, isn’t it?” Tess glanced at the closed door. “We’ve both lost spouses, we were friends for years, ran this little cotton candy stand at the apricot festival.” She half-laughed, half-sighed. “I can’t have more kids, but we have our boys and the dogs.” She gave a little shrug, but Erin could see that being unable to have more children hurt her friend. “We’re happy.”
“I’m glad,” Erin said.
“What about you?”
Erin knew exactly what Tess was asking. “It’s been…difficult. I moved in with my parents, but I couldn’t stay there much longer. We’d already been there a year, and….” She let her voice trail into silence. “I haven’t dated anyone since the divorce was final.”
“How long’s that been?”
“Thirteen months.” Erin slid a bite of pie into her mouth and found it more bitter than sweet. No wonder her aunt wouldn’t let her make the pies and tarts. She barely knew how to sweeten something. “But it was over before that. Before McKenzie, even. I thought if we had another child….” A sob choked her words and she shook her head as she regained her composure. She took another breath and though she didn’t want to consume more of the pie, she shoved a very large bite into her mouth.
Tess let her have her time. Then she asked, “How are the children settling into school?”
“Fine. It’s the end of the year. They missed the testing here. I only send them so they don’t shred the apartment to bits.” She tried for a smile. “They’re going to Salt Lake for six weeks this next weekend. They’ll be back just after the Fourth of July.”
“And?”
“And nothing. We live here now. The boys have their bunk beds, in their own bedroom. Kenz sleeps with me still. The apartment is small, but it’s free, and I have a job. Jeremy pays his child support. I’m making things work.”
“All right.” Tess had only taken one bite of her pie and the rest of it sat untouched on the counter. “Well, let’s just see why you texted and showed up with pie, then.” Tess lunged for Erin’s phone and danced away with it, a gleeful smile on her face.
Erin followed her into the living room and made a futile attempt to get the phone back. “Tess.”
“Oh, see, he does have your number.” She glanced up and quickly back down. “You make great spaghetti and meatballs,” Tess read from the screen. “Can we talk?” She lowered the phone and met Erin’s eye.
“Yeah, that’s why I texted.” She sank onto the couch.
Tess joined her, her blue eyes searching Erin’s now as she handed the phone back. “Are you seeing him?”
“No. I mean, he comes into the bakery.”
“What’s with the spaghetti and meatballs?”
“He stayed for dinner last night after he finished ripping down the walls in the bakery kitchen.” Erin felt very far away from herself, like she could see an image of herself but couldn’t quite grasp what was going on around her.
“And Ted said he saw Blake with a, and I quote, ‘a pretty little brunette’ at church last week. Apparently the couple didn’t stay for long. Was that you?”
Erin nodded. “We left and went to the park to talk. I—blast it, Tess, I think I like him.” She looked up and everything inside her felt cut wide open, exposed, for everyone to see.
“Well, of course you like him. He’s tall, and handsome, and a cowboy.”
Erin rolled her eyes. “I was never the one who was a sucker for cowboys.”
“Me either.” Tess relaxed back into the couch. “I mean, until now, of course. I really like cowboys now.”
“Good thing, since you’re surrounded by them.” Erin sighed happily, but her mood shifted quickly back to the reason she’d come up the canyon. “So, I haven’t answered him yet. He wants to talk tonight.” She checked her phone. “Which means I have about an hour to figure out what to say to him.”
Chapter Seven
Blake knew exactly how many minutes and hours had passed since he’d texted Erin. He also knew she’d seen the text, because his phone put a little “Read” next to it, which meant she’d tapped on it and opened the text.
He’d spent the afternoon rationalizing that he’d sent the text during church. Maybe she’d glimpsed it, but not read it. And she was alone with her children today. Maybe she’d taken a long afternoon nap because she got up in the middle of the night, baked and waited on customers for eight hours, and then dealt with her three kids by herself for another ten hours.
He’d spent the morning pacing. Then he’d texted Erin. Then he’d taken Rosco, his blue heeler mixed mutt, out to the fields. The dog liked to run, and Blake liked to be outside. His head cleared when there was nothing between him and the sky.
Today, he’d seen more clearly about Erin. He really liked the woman, considering how little time they’d spent together. He liked the soft yet fierce nature of her eyes. The lilt in her laugh. The strength she possessed, whether she knew it or not.
He kicked at the dirt road where he walked. “She has three kids, Blake. Be reasonable.”
And reasonable, rational Blake knew he wasn’t ready to be a father to an eight-year-old, a six-year-old, and a three-year-old. He was barely ready to be in a relationship with a woman.
His compulsion to check on Jessica and her new husband had been strong today—another reason Blake had escaped his cabin. He tipped his head back, almost losing his cowboy hat. He held it in place with one hand, his voice saying, “Lord….”
He didn’t have anything else to say. He’d spoken true when he’d said he wasn’t raised in a religious household. He’d gone to church in Brush Creek a handful of times, on days when he didn’t want to be alone.
But the fact remained that Blake liked being alone. He liked the solitude of the ranch, the wide nature of the sky, the distance between him and the rest of the world.
“Just another reason to stay away from Erin,” he said, glad he had this empty space where he could release his thoughts. Rosco came panting up beside him, a stick in his mouth. “Oh, what’ve you got there, boy? Huh?” He tried to grab the stick, but Rosco dodged and galloped up ahead of Blake.
He laughed and let his dog go, grateful for the four-legged companion. “I’m grateful,” he said, seizing onto the feeling. He looked into the sky again. “Lord, I’m grateful…I’m grateful to be here at Brush Creek.”
His prayer turned inward, silent inside his own mind. I’m grateful for Rosco. For Landon and Megan, who provide a job for me and a place where I can live.
His thoughts wandered to the rodeo he’d missed out on, but he pushed them away. He wanted to focus on what he did have, not what he didn’t.
I’m grateful for Erin.
The words crossed his mind before he could truly think them. They lodged in his brain, wondering wh
at he possibly had to be grateful for when it came to Erin. They weren’t dating. He’d barely held her hand for longer than four seconds.
And yet, he was grateful for her introduction into his life. He wondered why she was there, what he was supposed to do with this well of attraction and his racing heart every time he thought of her.
His phone buzzed and chimed, and Blake whipped it out of his pocket. Relief rushed through him when he saw Erin’s name. I’m at Tess’s house. I can leave my kids to play with hers if now’s a good time to talk.
His thumbs flew across the letters. Now’s great. I’m about ten minutes from my cabin. Want to meet there?
Sure. Which one’s yours?
Second to the end, opposite end from Walker and Tess’s.
Great. See you in ten minutes.
Blake’s throat tightened and dried out. He’d wanted to talk to Erin, but now he only had ten minutes to figure out what to say.
He’d barely stepped through the backdoor and filled Rosco’s water bowl when someone knocked on the door. It wasn’t Erin unless her hands had multiplied by ten. Sure enough, Walker poked his head into the cabin in the next moment.
“Blake?”
“Right here.” He straightened, Rosco at his feet lapping up the water with slurping noises.
“I was sent to tell you that Erin will be a few more minutes.” He stepped into the cabin and glanced around, something clearly on his mind.
Blake hadn’t slept well the night before, and exhaustion kicked him in the chest. “How many more minutes?”
“They’re women. I have no idea.” Walker moved into the kitchen and sank onto a barstool. “So you and Erin Shields?”
“No, I don’t think so. That’s why we need to talk.”
Walker didn’t react, and Blake got out a couple of bottles of water from the fridge. “You thirsty?”
Walker reached for the bottle and twisted off the lid. “Why can’t there be a you and Erin Shields?”
“Simple answer? I’m not ready.”
Walker drank his water and patted Rosco on the head. “When’s the last time you went out with someone when you thought you were ready?”
Blake opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came out. He’d dated Jessica in high school, but he hadn’t been ready to be in a serious relationship then. He’d held onto her for so long that anyone else he’d gone out with had been on a surface level. He’d known it, and it hadn’t taken the women he went to dinner with long to figure it out.
But Erin…. “Erin’s different,” Blake said, completely not answering Walker’s question about his past love life. “She scares me.”
Walker chuckled. “That’s how you know you’re ready.” He clapped Blake on the shoulder and clomped out of the cabin. Blake stared straight ahead, his mind numb.
Lighter, more delicate knocking sounded on the door, startling him like gunshots. He jumped up from the counter and went to answer it, finding Erin in the pool of yellow light on his porch.
“Hey,” she said, tucking her hair behind her ear in a gesture Blake found adorable. In a lot of ways, she was miles more mature than him, a dedicated mother of three. In some ways, he found her to be flirty and playful, like most of the single women he’d been out with in the past three years.
Without thinking, without second guessing, without a single word, Blake stepped forward, swept his arm around Erin’s waist, and pressed his lips to hers.
He wasn’t sure what he expected. The taste of chocolate flooded his mouth, and he drank in the soft smell of her skin. His pulse thundered when she kissed him back, knocked his cowboy hat to the ground as her fingertips flitted over his ears and along his scalp.
“You don’t have much hair,” she whispered against his lips.
He smiled, a rush of self-consciousness almost overcoming the euphoria of kissing a woman and meaning it, feeling it. “Shh,” he said, molding his mouth to hers again.
“Here you go.” Blake draped a blanket around Erin’s shoulders. After that kiss that had changed his entire perspective on life, they’d settled on his front stoop with their fingers entwined, the sun dipping closer and closer to the horizon.
When she’d shivered, he’d gone inside for a blanket.
“So are you going to talk?” she asked.
He swallowed, his bravery all dried up.
“I know my kids are crazy.”
His fingers tightened on hers. “They’re just kids.” As he said the words, he realized the truthfulness of them. They were just kids. They did what kids do—and they’d been through some hard things in the past little while.
“I did get scared,” he said.
“I saw it on your face.” She glanced at him and nudged his chest with her shoulder. “Moms know everything, you know. You can’t hide anything from us. We find out, eventually.”
He growled and ducked his head so his mouth grazed her ear. “I don’t want you to be my mother.”
She pushed him back playfully. “Behave yourself.”
He didn’t want to, but he straightened and chuckled as he looked across the lane. The homestead sat down the road to his right, and his view went straight past the house to the horse arena beyond it.
“Blake, I…like you. I want to keep seeing you around the bakery, maybe up here at the ranch. But, I do have three kids, and.” She turned toward him, and Blake looked straight into her beautiful eyes. “I’m interested, but I need to take things slow.”
“Slow is fine, Erin.”
“Is it?”
He spread his free hand toward the land before him. “I have nowhere else to go.”
She snuggled into his chest.
“I have some questions,” he said. She stiffened in his arms, but he pressed on. “I’ve been wondering why you got divorced. I mean, you obviously love your kids, and—”
“My ex-husband worked a lot,” she interrupted. “Which was fine. He was—is—the foreman at a large scrap metal salvage yard in Salt Lake City.” She took a deep breath. “It was the other places he’d go when he said he was at work that bothered me. I, uh.” She cleared her throat. “Stayed for a while. Years, actually. Went to two different marriage counselors because he thought the first one was against him.”
“All right,” Blake said, his heart tearing a little at the betrayal and pain in her voice. He rubbed his hand along her upper arm. “All right, Erin.” He didn’t need to know more. He knew there were two sides to every story, and if he allowed himself to get caught up in Erin’s life—which he’d already done—he would eventually have to deal with the ex-husband.
Blake shook his head, trying to dislodge the thoughts. He was thinking so far ahead, and he hated that. Didn’t want to be kept up at night by his mind as it circled when he’d meet her ex-husband, how her kids would take the news of him dating their mom, any of it.
He just wanted to enjoy the sunset with her at his side.
“He stepped out on me six times,” Erin said. “Six. Before I left.”
Anger dove through him, along with the fierce need to protect her. “I’m sorry.”
She breathed in deep. “I am happier here than I’ve been in a long time.”
“That’s good.”
A dog barked, and Blake looked down the line of cabins to see Bruce and Wayne racing toward him, four boys chasing them with wild abandon. “Incoming,” he warned Erin, who jumped to her feet as the slobbering hounds arrived.
Blake joined her, putting himself between her and the dogs. He scrubbed Wayne’s head and said, “Rosco’s inside, you big brute.” He reached behind him and opened the door, letting the black lab inside. Rosco barked once, and the sound of claws scratching on hardwood met his ears as he pulled the door closed.
“This is Bruce,” he said about the yellow lab. “He’s about a hundred years old.” The dog panted and collapsed at Blake’s feet. “See? Harmless.”
The boys arrived then, and Blake picked up Graham and swung him around. “Hey, bud,” he said, laughing
with the boy as he set him down. “Have you met Miss Erin?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Hey, Blake,” Davy said, panting, and Blake turned toward him.
Trepidation pulled through him. How could he know exactly what to say and do with Graham, but Davy made his brain go blank? “Davy.”
The other boys arrived, and Michael gave Blake high five. Surprisingly, so did Cole. “Dad says we have to go to bed soon. School tomorrow.”
“I think that’s my cue.” Erin put her arm around Davy. “Time to go, boys. Is Kenz still at the cabin?”
“She fell asleep,” Cole said.
Erin yawned, and Blake mourned the fact that Walker and Tess had sent four witnesses to his goodbye. “See you later,” he said to Erin as she looked at him.
“Will you be coming to work on the bakery tomorrow?”
“Maybe,” he said, thinking through his schedule for the following day. “Might not be until the weekend.”
“Until the weekend, then.” She gave him a look that said she wished she could kiss him goodnight too, and sauntered into the darkness with the kids.
“Tell your dad I’m keeping Wayne for the night!” Blake called after Michael.
He turned around and walked backward. “He already knew you would.” He laughed and spun back around to catch up with the rest of the group.
Blake chuckled and entered his cabin to the joyful, slobbery faces of Wayne and Rosco.
Chapter Eight
School ended, and Erin packed up most of what the kids owned and drove them to her ex-husband’s house. The house she used to share with him. She didn’t go in but sat in the car on the curb and texted him that she had arrived.
An unfamiliar car sat in the driveway, and when Jeremy came out of the house, Erin caught sight of a woman. Her lungs iced, and she couldn’t say anything. Not even goodbye to her children as they piled out of the car.
Jeremy strode across the lawn, seemingly happy to see them. He collected their bags from the trunk, and the echo of his voice came through the closed windows. Erin sat there through all of it, numb and cold.
