And then I cried again.
“The pendant was my grandmother’s. It’s very old. Behind the picture I put inside is a picture of her. I thought about taking it out, but then decided you could have a piece of her too.”
I tried to look up at her when she spoke, but I could barely see her. My ears blurred my vision too much for me to really be able to focus on her at all.
I walked over to her and cuddled my way into her arms. And she held me, on her lap, like I was really just a child. And sometimes when I was with her, that was exactly how I felt.
That night, after Samantha was in bed, David and I stayed up with my mother.
“I didn’t know how bad it was here. The whole way over the only thing I could think of was you and how close to you this all is.” I told her.
“I’m safe now. Ya’ll put up those shield things, right?”
“But that only protects you from people with Power. Not cruel, mindless, regular people. And not from bombs.”
“Allison, I will be ok.” She sounded so sure of it.
“How can you even say that? Are you even getting enough food? I mean, is there even enough food here in the stores?”
“Not really. I mean, there really isn’t much food anywhere. But I have been getting your packages. You send me more than enough.”
David cleared his throat, and looked like he wanted to say something, but I spoke too fast for him to even get one word out. “What packages?”
This time David did speak, “Allison, I wasn’t going to let your mother be without. I have been sending her packages with food and supplies. Anything she may need.”
I looked at him confused. Why hadn’t I thought of that? I was so wrapped up in my own little world, I didn’t think of sending her anything here. I hadn’t sent her anything at all, except worthless letters. I was a horrible daughter.
“Oh, I thought it was Allison. Well, thank you David. You have been sending enough to supply not only me, but several people in this town.” She chuckled softly, as if embarrassed that she had been giving some away. “I hope it’s okay that I have been sharing.”
“Of course, Ann.”
I sat back, dumbfounded. Thankful that David took the initiative. Upset I hadn’t thought of it. But glad she was taken care of nonetheless.
“Listen, Allison. I know I don’t know everything about what goes on where you are. But I know what’s going on in the world. And I know enough about the bible to see what’s going on here. You don’t have to worry about me. You really don’t have to save the world. That’s too much for any one person to shoulder on her own. I will be okay. I want you to focus on Samantha and now David. I want you to make yourself a nice happy little family, and if you can help stop the chaos in the world, well that would be good too. But I am your mother, you are not mine. I can take care of myself.”
I nodded. I really didn’t know what else to do, or what to say. She was right of course. I wasn’t her mother, but I still felt responsible for her nonetheless. I had so much of everything where I was. Food, safety, security. I had it all, and she had so little.
The next day we celebrated Sam’s birthday, since we wouldn’t be coming back for a while, not until she was fully in control of her Power.
From my mother, Samantha received three chapter books, a framed collage of photos from when we lived with my mom, several new sets of clothes, and a locket. Her locket wasn’t decades old, like mine was, but it held the same picture. As my mother said, “That way both of you will always have a piece of me with you, no matter where you go.”
We had cake that night, which may have been Samantha’s favorite present of all. She loved my mother’s cake and icing, but who wouldn’t. She made it from scratch and it was always the best cake anywhere.
That night, after Sam was asleep, and even David was in bed already, I told my mom my secret.
“You aren’t tired yet?” She asked, curious as to why we were both awake, instead of asleep like normal people.
“I’m always tired, Mom. But I wanted to talk to you, just the two of us.”
She nodded and motioned for me to go sit by her. I followed her instructions and walked to the couch, to sit right next to her. Her perfume assailed my nose and brought forth an instant feeling of nostalgia. She always wore the exact same perfume she always had. Her warm soft arm wrapped around my shoulders and pulled me close.
“I miss you so much, sweetie.”
“Awe, Mom, you have no idea how much I miss you. Especially now!”
She pulled back slightly, to look me in the eyes. “What do you mean?”
“Well, I have something to tell you.”
Sitting here like this, made me remember the first time I told her I was pregnant. It was nothing the same though. Last time I was young, too young, scared and ashamed. I was only 16 years old when I got pregnant with Sam. Now that I was an adult and married, it was different. I was strong and independent. I was proud this time.
I couldn’t hide the smile on my lips as it crept upward revealing my hidden dimples. As my smile shown through, she realized it wasn’t anything bad, and the terror she tried to hide, was gone instantly.
“Well, are you just going to make me guess or will you tell me?” There was humor hiding beneath her impatient words.
“I’m pregnant!”
She didn’t squeal for joy, as I had imagined. Instead, she wrapped her arms more securely around my shoulders, pulling me so close I had to rest my head on her soft chest, and really squeezed me. She started rubbing my hair down the back of my head. And rubbing my back. She didn’t say anything for the longest time, which started to make me nervous.
Last time I was pregnant, my mother was disappointed in me. She was a very Catholic woman who believed having premarital sex was sinful, not to mention she knew how hard it would be for a child of 16 to raise a child. Sometimes I wondered if she even knew Alex, Sam’s father, wouldn’t really be there for us.
But not this time. David was there and he would always be. And I wasn’t a child. I started to tense up and feel insecure and defensive, when she finally pulled away.
She wiped the tears off her checks and then wiped the tears off her hands and onto her pants. “I am so happy for you.” She finally managed to choke out.
My tears streamed pretty seamlessly down my own cheeks, but I didn’t bother to wipe them away, as new ones just replaced the old ones.
“It makes sense why you have been acting a little different. I think I’ve seen you cry 15 times since you’ve been here.”
I chuckled. “I know. It’s like nonstop water works over here!” I agreed.
“How does David feel?” She asked after we had settled down a little.
“He is ecstatic! We couldn’t be happier.” But even as the words left my lips, I knew they weren’t true. We could be happier. We could have a world where we knew our babies would be safe. And that’s not the world we lived in.
I think she knew my thoughts, because then she said, “I hope you will stay safe and out of harm’s way, especially now.”
I shook my head. “How can you expect me to sit idly by while everyone else is fighting? And anyways, David says that when an Order member gets pregnant, she gets stronger. He said that since I have my Power now, it will not only keep the baby safe, but help me be stronger.”
I said it not only to assure her, but myself as well. It was difficult trying to reconcile my need to keep the baby safe with my need to keep Sam and the world safe.
She nodded. “Just be safe, Honey. I couldn’t stand to…” she trailed off, not even wanting to speak her fears aloud.
“I will, Mom. I will be safe and I will keep Sam safe, too.”
And I would. I would keep my family safe no matter the price.
***
Two weeks later, on January 8th, I got up early. I was up by 5:30 in the morning, already cooking breakfast, when David walked in.
“Smells good.” He said, as he walked behind me. He slid h
is large, strong hands around my hips and onto my tummy, as he pulled me back against him. I rested my head back on his chest, and I could feel the scruff of his unshaven check scratch mine as he kissed my neck.
“I love you.” He whispered low into my ear, causing my already crazy hormones to go into overdrive. I turned around, found his lips with mine and wrapped my arms around his neck, momentarily forgetting where I was and what I was doing.
He reached down and grabbed hold of my legs, on the underside of my thighs, to lift me up. I wrapped my legs around his hips and held him there, as our lips collided with each other.
His scent was intoxicating. His taste, like gold. I could feel the muscles in his back that rippled beneath my hands. As his hands found my own back beneath my nightgown.
He slid me onto the counter top, our lips never leaving the others. And for a moment all I could think of was him. The way he felt. The way he smelled and the way he tasted.
And for that moment, all I could think of was that I wanted him more. More than just this.
But before I could do anything more, I heard a knock at the door. He pulled away just slightly, to look me in the eyes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get carried away like that.”
“You never have to apologize to me for that.” I said as I shook my head at him.
He chuckled softly, “But we can’t right now.”
His words made me remember what I was doing before he came into the kitchen. Today was Sam’s birthday. She was born at 6:30 in the morning on January 8th. So I had to be prepared. I had to be here for her, ready to help her.
“I’m sure the knock was Rick.” He kissed my forehead and put me back on the ground before walking to the front door.
I went back to the stove to finish breakfast. But I couldn’t stop fidgeting. Everything in my body was running haywire. I was more nervous than I had ever been before. I knew this would be painful for her, at least at first, and I couldn’t stand not knowing how it would affect her being here. I remember how bad it hurt me, and I was a grown woman.
“How are you feeling?” Rick asked after walking in. He hugged me before I could even answer his question.
Again, the question felt like more than it was. Though we still hadn’t told him our news, it felt like he already knew.
“I’m fine, Rick. Nervous, but fine.”
“She will be okay, I promise.” He kept his hand on my shoulder, then patted it once and walked over to David, where they went straight into talking about the future.
I tried to keep myself busy, soon enough she would wake up. And if she didn’t wake on her own soon, then I would go wake her myself. She should be awake when it happened, so that she could be prepared and ready. She would be the most readied child ever to receive her Power.
I set the table, and placed the pancakes, eggs and sausage on the table-Samantha’s favorite breakfast items. I also added a glass of soda. Now you may be questioning my parental skills here. What kind of mother would allow her six year old to have a soda for breakfast? Well, the kind that never allows her child a soda, except on special occasions. And this was definitely a special occasion, more so than the normal birthday.
I plan on making every moment of today as special as possible. As easy as possible.
“Y’all can come and eat, I’m going to change and then wake Sam.”
They nodded to me and walked to the table. David kissed me once more on the cheek, I knew what was still playing in his mind, what almost happened in the kitchen just a few moments before. And just that little peck on the check ignited the already subdued flames of passion that tore through me.
I fought to ignore it and then ran to the bedroom to get dressed.
I knocked gently before opening Sam’s door. But when I opened it, I was surprised to find her awake, sitting up in her bed looking at the framed pictures my mother had given her.
“Hey, you’re awake already…”
She nodded, then looked up at me. In that moment I realized how young she really was. She was only six, today. She was just a tiny helpless child, mixed up in some crazy stuff. I felt bad for bringing her into this mess, but really, there was no way I could have avoided it. Not really.
Her eyes were big and round, and deeper blue than normal. Her hair was a tangled mess that she had pulled back into a ponytail that curled lifelessly down the back of her purple nightgown. She sat cross-legged on her bed, her legs still covered by the soft red blanket.
I walked over and sat down next to her. “You wanna talk?”
She shook her head and looked back down at the picture.
“I miss her too.” I told her.
“I wish she was here with us.” Her voice came out a little hoarse, like she hadn’t been awake long, or maybe she had been crying.
“Me too. But remember the necklace she gave you?”
She nodded and reached beneath her nightgown to show me that she was still wearing it.
“See,” I told her, “she is still here with you.”
She looked up at me, her eyes started to glisten with unshed tears. “I’m scared, Mommy.”
I opened my arms for her, as she climbed her way into my lap. I wrapped my arms around her fragile body, pulling her close, trying to imagine some way to keep her safe in all of this. If only I could. If only I could have taken it all away from her. Taken her away from all of this.
“I know…” I wanted to say more but didn’t know what to say. That it wouldn’t hurt? That it would be over quickly… I didn’t know what would happen.
“I promise you I will do everything I can to make this okay for you.”
And then I just held her in my arms, rocking her back and forth like I used to when she was a baby. Remembering every day of the last six years.
“I made breakfast, are you hungry?”
She nodded, then discreetly wiped at her tears that had finally come loose. And together we walked into the kitchen to sit down and eat her last breakfast as a Powerless human being.
Chapter 13
Power
***Lilith***
I stood and tried to button my pants, but the damn things wouldn’t reach. Fuck being pregnant. This damn baby better be all it’s cracked up to be. I walked to my closet and finally decided on my yoga pants. They were stretchy enough that they would fit, and I could keep the band just below my bulbous abdomen.
Only three months left. Then this thing would be out of me and ready to bring forth the end of times. It was my destiny. Well, if it wasn’t, than I would make it so anyways. I would control my future, just as much as I controlled these filthy minions I call Rising Members. They were all mine and mine alone. I would rule this planet, even if from behind this little monster that festers away at my inside.
I walked to the bathroom, slathered my stomach in cocoa butter lotion and drank down my toxic waste. At least, that’s what it tasted like. Disgusting stuff, but it was supposed to be basically pure evil. It even had some of my own blood in it.
Ugh.
Anyways, I would do what needed to be done in order to assure my right as empress of the world. For a moment, I thought about changing my title from Leader of the Rising to Empress… Just not yet. Maybe after I was dominating the world.
I heard a knock and tasted the rotten odor of Nigel on my mind. Enter, I told him wordlessly.
He walked in and bowed low for a full minute before standing again. Today he wore tight brown leather pants, almost the same color as his deep skin, with a matching jacket. It was left open, no shirt beneath, to show his rippling, hard abs.
Lately I had been staying in my room more. It wasn’t that I was embarrassed of my new, hideous body, I just didn’t feel the mood to flaunt the disgusting ball that I could no longer hide beneath me shirt. So, the only way I saw people anymore, was to bring them to me. I liked it better that way anyway.
“I have news for you.” He said. A smile touched his face; it wasn’t a joyful smile, more like an evil menacing grin. Obviously he
had finally been working.
“Finally.” I said, allowing my annoyance to show through. “Have they finally decided to launch the weapon?”
His smile faltered, but only slightly.
“No, this isn’t about the Seals, it about the Order. It’s about her.”
This peaked my interest. We hadn’t been able to find any information on them recently at all.
“Well, go on.” I commanded.
“Let me start at the beginning, so I don’t leave out any information. We recently found and captured an Order Member. I know it has been harder for us lately, as they are hiding like the scared cockroaches they are, but we did find one. Frank had been there, they were going to retrieve a member who had just received his Power, he died…but we didn’t need him anyways. He knew nothing.
“We captured the female, and brought her back here to try to extract some information. Though, she never gave up were the Compound is, she did mention something else. Something I think you would want to know.”
I nodded, and sent a blot of pain straight to his head. Imagine a brain freeze, and multiple it by 100, that’s what it felt like to him. “Hurry the fuck up, I don’t have all day.”
He straightened up and tried to hide the anger that tinted his face. He cleared his throat and said, “The girl is pregnant.”
“That’s it? Who the hell cares? I have enough pregnancy around here. Like I give a damn she is pregnant too. What? You want us to throw a mutual baby shower and share pregnancy tips and secrets?” The sarcasm dripped from my lips the way pus drips from an open, infected wound.
“No. But I thought it was worth mentioning, in that the last report we have is that the man who stood by her side is now her mate. And if they conceived together, than this may be cause for concern, as he has been the most Powerful Order Member we have ever came across, before she came.”
I closed my mouth, to bite back the smart-ass remark I was going to say. “Who was the man?” If it was that damn Donnelly dude, that ran around all high and mighty spouting the need to kill rising members instead of just hiding, as the Order used to do, then we may be in serious trouble.
Hope (The Descendant Trilogy Book 2) Page 14
