by Angel Lawson
“Sure,” I reply, already on the boardwalk. I drank two bottles of water when I got down to the beach and my bladder is screaming. The house has a traditional feel—not one of the massive new builds popping up all over. It’s on stilts but one level. The walls are paneled in pine and the floors match. I quickly use the bathroom, taking a minute to straighten my windblown hair and tug up the zipper on my hoodie. I’m wearing cotton shorts and a tank top but it gets cool at night on the beach, so I came prepared.
Exiting the bathroom, I head to the front bedroom, flinging open the door. Standing in the middle of the room is Nick, tall, broad, and shirtless. A football player’s body. Oh, he’s also only wearing black, snug boxer briefs.
Yowza.
“Shit, uh…sorry.” I touch my neck. “Maggie asked me to come up and get some blankets.”
I can’t keep my eyes off his body and think about how close I’ve been to it in the car, working on my mom’s story and everything else, unaware of how absolutely magnificent it is. Dark hair scatters over his chest and then again between his belly button and the tops of the briefs. It’s like an arrow pointing down and the thin layer of material covering his…
My eyes snap back up.
“I think they’re in that chest,” he says, ignoring my ogling and pointing to the end of the bed. I nod and walk over, flipping up the lid. Bending over, I collect three soft blankets but rise slowly when I feel movement behind me. Gentle fingertips touch the back of my neck, brushing aside my hair. A thrill runs through my body.
“I told you I couldn’t wait to get you alone. I feel like this is the fates tempting us.”
I spin, keeping the blankets between us, and find myself looking into eyes made of molten chocolate. His lips are perfectly pink, full, and the sharp cut of his jaw tightens with restrained desire.
I should say something…anything, but I can’t form words. Nick removes the blankets from my hands and I swallow, eyeing the bulge of his biceps. I want to spend time on those muscles. Explore them. Feel them. I finally find my voice, “I think they’re waiting for these blankets.”
His eyes flick from my eyes to my mouth to my heaving chest then back again. His lips curve seductively and he closes the gap. A warm, big hand slips around my waist and pulls me until I’m pressed against his hard body. “I think they’re going to have to wait a little bit longer.”
I nod, breathless for no good reason, other than having waited for this kiss for a long time now. Nick had been the one to tell me about the Pact, to open the door on the possibilities of spending time with each of these men, but circumstances had left us without the time or opportunity to act.
I don’t know what to expect, but it’s not the soft gentleness of that first kiss. His lips move slowly, carefully, sensuously, making every nerve of my body a trembling mess. There’s a raw intensity, like he’s holding back a stronger force but he doesn’t want to unleash it all at once. I don’t care, because his lips taste like a mixture of the salt from the ocean and the cherry popsicle that dyed his tongue, and his hands make me feel safe.
His heart hammers under my fingertips and a low groan rumbles in his chest. The longer the kiss goes on, his tongue sweeping into my mouth, the more urgent he grows until he stops abruptly and we’re both gasping for air.
“Jesus,” he mumbles, running his hand over his short hair.
My hands shake.
It takes every inch of willpower not to look at the bed behind me. It takes extreme control to pick up the blankets and clutch them to my chest, a false barrier between the two of us. It’s like dragging a magnet away from metal, a moth away from the flame, when I force my feet to move, to walk out across the room and out the door.
Warm beach air slaps me across the face, the ocean roars in my ears, and I don’t look back when I hear the screen door screech behind me.
Nick was right. The fates are testing us.
Because whatever was going to happen between us would require time.
Lots of it, and I’m not rushing through whatever it is building between us.
With the sun setting and the fire blazing, no one notices us come back, one at a time, to the beach and take our seats. We settle in and the boys drink beer while Ivy passes around a fruity punch. They tell stories and Pete pulls out his guitar and it’s a good night. A really good night, and for the first time since I’ve arrived at Ocean Beach it feels like everything is moving too fast.
Chapter 16
I wake the next day smelling of smoke and sea air, my hair a rat’s nest on the pillow. My bed is cozy—the camper quiet—it’s the early part of the day before the sun starts to bake on the silver camper. I take a moment to stretch out and think about the summer, the night before. Pact or no pact, things are escalating with the guys. I feel it in my bones. The little looks, the casual touch, the heated moment between me and Nick in that bedroom. Day after day I want to know more about them, their lives, their childhoods, their pasts. I want to be part of this family--something I’ve never had before--and I don’t know if it’s possible if I keep kissing them.
I’m filled with a warm happiness at the thought of having them in my life forever, and also doom knowing it’s unsustainable. I literally could not choose one over the other. Not if I was forced at gunpoint. And they’re okay with that. For today. But I’ve already had my heart broken once. I can’t allow it again.
The heat of the day drags me out of the bed and I shower, scrubbing the beach off my body. There was talk of going to a bar tonight—a place that doesn’t card—but other than that I have no plans. I consider heading over to the beach for a surf lesson from Whit or maybe down to the marina to see if the boys can take off for lunch. My mind sorts through the possibilities, knowing that any of these just brings me closer instead of protecting myself. I can’t help it.
Regardless, I tug on my bikini in the tight space of the shower and push back the accordion style door.
I scream.
God, I scream. I only see the body—the shape of an intruder before he turns, hands in the air.
“Summer, it’s me.”
“Me” is Mason.
I exhale a combined mix of relief and annoyance, especially when his eyes sweep over my half-naked body.
“What are you doing here?” I demand. “I thought we finished this the other day?”
I fight to keep the nerves out of my voice.
He flashes puppy dog eyes, the eyes of a wounded soul, and says, “I hated how we left things the other day—how this whole thing has fallen apart. It’s a disaster and I just wanted to come here and take the blame for it—all of it.”
I eye him skeptically. “I don’t need you to take the blame. I’ve moved on.”
“I see that and I’m glad.” Again he appraises me and my skin feels slimy. “You look great. Healthy and confident. It’s good to see the spark of that girl I fell for at the beginning.”
His words feel like a slap, but one made from truth. I lost myself along the way with him. I was tied up, consumed in a wholly unhealthy way.
“You’re the reason I lost that spark, Mason. I kept so many secrets and lies. I destroyed my relationships with friends and my mom.” And myself, I wanted to add, but he no longer gets to know all my thoughts.
“You’re right. I was totally out of line. Our relationship was wrong in so many ways. I was tempted and failed—miserably. As the adult in the situation I knew better, and I let my desires control me.”
The Airstream feels too small. He’s apologizing but it doesn’t feel right. He’s blocking the door and I realize how incredibly vulnerable I am.
“I think you should leave.”
“Okay, I will, but I have one last request.”
“What?”
“Go on the trip to France. I’ll back out. Say I’m sick. I was called for jury duty. Whatever it takes.” He touches the door but doesn’t leave. “It’s not fair for me to go when you worked so hard to get there. You deserve that trip more than anyone.”
His words strike a chord. I did work hard for that trip. I busted my ass at work, at school and everywhere else. It was my dream trip that I’d saved and scrimped for over the last two years. Mason and I had talked about it for hours…days. We walked through the park, holding hands, making plans for our trip. We made love at his apartment and later looked over the itinerary. I felt the strings of that time tugging at me. When things were right with my world even if they were wrong.
I almost say yes.
Almost.
“I can’t.”
He frowns. “Why?”
I look around the tiny camper that’s become my home for the summer. “I’m helping my mom on her book and learning a lot about the process. I’ve met family down here I never knew I had. I’m not ready to leave them yet. I’m just getting to know them.”
His eyes darken, slipping a shade. “Your mom. Your family. That’s all that’s holding you back from your dream?”
He wants to know if there’s another guy. I swallow and reply, “I’ve found something down here, Mason. Mostly myself. I didn’t realize how lost I’d become.”
He takes a tentative step closer and I grip the side of the door. The problem with Mason is I loved him so much that I’d been willing to risk everything for him, and when he’s near me and holds my eyes with his, I realize how very hard it is for me to say no to him. It was hard then and it’s hard now.
“You’re saying what we had wasn’t real?”
“No. I’m saying what we had wasn’t healthy.”
My words hurt him. I think, it’s hard to tell what’s the hurt I’ve caused and what’s his own fault. Everything is so jumbled up. I do know that I want him to leave.
“You’re so strong, Summer. It’s one of the things that I was attracted to in the first place. You go for what you want. You have convictions. You didn’t care about the rules when it came to us—you fought for what you wanted.” He smiles sadly. “Once upon a time that was me. I was a fool for letting you go.”
He stares at me for a moment and I almost slip into the seductive tone of his voice. His nearness, but I glance around the trailer and see the little life I’ve built here. My beach bag, my mother’s notes, an Ocean Beach Marina hat hanging over my bed, and realize this is his last-ditch effort—to get me back, or to control my life or whatever the hell he was up to.
“Thank you for the offer,” I say, knowing it was just another part of his manipulation. “Have fun on the trip.”
“The offer stands,” he says, finally opening the door. I almost exhale when he does so, because being so close to him, with the strange energy rolling off his body, was starting to freak me out. “If you show up at any point before we take off, I’ll back out.”
I shake my head and gesture to the door.
He opens his mouth to speak but snaps it back. I don’t miss the anger in his eyes. The desperation. Thankfully, though, he does finally leave, stepping out of the trailer, and I move quickly to lock the aluminum door behind him, only exhaling when he’s shut on the other side and I hear the crunch of his feet on the gravel.
My hands shake as I lean against it, feeling the heat of the sun baking through. Fear rolls through me. Not at Mason, but at the fact I almost caved. I almost said yes, and the fact that our relationship still has such a hold on me sends a chill of panic through my spine.
It’s only later when Anita bangs on my door and demands I come with her out to the waterway that the chill subsides, truly proving that this slice of heaven may be the only thing holding me together.
Chapter 17
I’ve got one hand holding back my hair and the other holding down the edge of my sundress while Justin’s Jeep flies down the road. The top is off and I can only imagine the rat’s nest my hair will be when we finally reach our destination.
“How far away is this place?” I ask.
“Not too far,” he answers. A car passes us and honks. Justin waves in return.
“Friend?”
“Richard.”
“Oh.” I turn and watch his small black car disappear down the road.
Justin adjusts his rearview mirror and says, “I think he has a date or something.”
“Why do you think that?”
“Because he only takes the car when he has a work meeting or a date. Otherwise, he drives his truck.”
“How thoughtful,” I say, while losing a handful of hair to the wind.
We’ve passed the marina and the small cluster of restaurants, ice cream parlors, and touristy shops bordering the beaches. Justin shifts gears and turns down a bumpy road, leading back down to the water, eventually stopping in front of a shack.
“There?” I ask, pointing to the ramshackle building. To its credit, there are lights strung over the porch and I can hear music filtering from the inside. A couple of girls in short skirts walk up the porch steps and go inside.
“Best kept secret in Ocean Beach.”
I’m still skeptical when we enter the building, but the inside is cleaner than I predicted from the shabby exterior. Plus, it’s a bar and a little seafood restaurant, not an arcade, which gives me hope. High-top tables line the room and a tiny stage occupies one corner. There’s no band tonight but the music is loud anyway.
“I see Anita.” I wave to my cousin across the room. She’s dressed up, which is funny because this is the crappiest bar I’ve ever been to. I guess going out is going out.
Clustered across the room are all my friends and three guys with hungry approval in their eyes. Our relationships are escalating just as I continue to feel my time slipping away. The dark shadow of Mason continues to linger long after his visit, but tonight I just want to have fun, and seeing the guys outside of beach or work wear is definitely a treat.
“I love your earrings,” I tell her. The swaying chandeliers almost graze the top of her shoulders.
“Thanks. You look pretty hot,” she says. From Anita, this means I have a lot of skin exposed. I bought one nice dress for my trip to France and at the last minute packed it in my suitcase. Red and strapless. It was a good choice. I liked showing off my tanned arms and shoulders, something I’d never had before.
“Doesn’t she?” Justin says, coming up behind me with two drinks and handing one over. His arm rests on my shoulder and his fingers brush against me gently. He likes the exposed skin, too. I realize the boys are circling the dart board. “Excuse me, ladies. I need to go kick some ass.”
He squeezes my shoulder and walks off, already yelling jeers at his brother.
“So, Summer,” Anita says. Her eyes shift between me and Justin as he walks away.
I take a sip of my drink and scrunch my nose at the sourness. I wait for her to continue but she doesn’t. “So, Anita…”
“I heard your friend from back home has visited the campground…twice.”
I make a face. “You heard?”
“Of course, I heard. I also heard the first time, he left angry. The second time he was sad.”
“That whole place is full of gossips.”
“Oh yeah, I’ve heard about your comings and goings as well—and the fact you show up some mornings in the same outfit that you left in.”
“Are you kidding me?” I hit my forehead with my palm. “No, you aren’t. How else would you know? Great. What’s everyone saying?”
Anita gestures to a back door. “Wanna go on the deck?”
“Please?”
I follow her outside, giving the boys a smile on the way out the door. “It’s not that big of a deal. My ex came to visit.”
She nods. “I suspected. What did he want?”
“I don’t know. To get me back? To let me go? It’s all mind games with him.”
“Are you going to?” Her eyes widen with curiosity.
“No!” I shout. “Absolutely not.”
“It’s a fair question.”
“He offered to back out of the trip to France and let me go with my friends.”
“Wow. France? Whe
n do they leave?”
“July first.”
“That’s in a few days. You could make it.”
“No.”
“Why the hell not?” her voice is loud.
“Shhh!” I look around but we’re alone on the deck.
“Because I’m really enjoying myself down here.” I smile at her. “I met you and I’m working on my mom’s book.”
“You can come hang out with me any time. Don’t miss out on France for me.”
She holds my eye. We both know it’s something bigger. Four times bigger. For some reason, she wants me to admit it.
“Fine. I don’t want to leave the guys. I’m just getting to know them too and well, I like them. A lot.”
A huge grin appears on her face. “I knew it!”
“Shhhh!”
“Girl, we’re in a honky-tonk bar. There’s no such thing as being too loud.” She rolls her eyes. “Have you slept with any of them?”
“I spent the night with Justin—but no, we haven’t done it. I haven’t with any of them. We’re all taking it slow and…it’s nice.” She frowns. I frown back. “What?”
“They’re taking it slow?” She asks this in a confused, cautious voice.
“I mean, I’ve kissed them all and had some other, you know, activities with a few of them, but mostly clothes or bathing suits on.”
“Hmmm…” she looks out into the distance, across the waterway.
“What?”
She takes a sip of her drink and shrugs. “It’s not like them to go, as you say, slow. They’re kind of wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am types. Just for kicks. Sex is fun. No strings attached.”
“We are just having fun.”
She turns and glances inside. The guys are ribbing one another, playing darts. Two cute girls approach Whit and Justin, asking a few questions and giving a flirty grin. Neither react and send the girls on their way. Whit looks my way and winks.
“Holy shit,” Anita says. “Holy fucking shit.”
“What?” Now I’m alarmed. “What’s wrong?”
“They like you.”
