by Rae Earl
TUESDAY 19TH OCTOBER
6.32 p.m.
OMG – Jen has just rung me. She was out with Simon being goth and they saw Nicky come out of the police station. He was caught tagging a police car in the city! The policeman thought it was a cry for help as “only someone who wanted to get caught would tag a patrol vehicle with 2 law enforcement officers and a shoplifter in it”. Even the shoplifter, who had just been caught with some yoghurts and a widescreen TV, had a go at Nicky for being a mindless vandal!
8.39 p.m.
OMG – I wonder if the shoplifter was the same shoplifter who nicked the yoghurts and the telly from Gran’s supermarket?
9.04 p.m.
My brother said all shoplifters steal tellies and yoghurts because people always want them.
Then he asked why I asked him.
I said I’d just seen something on telly!
But I hadn’t! I am the girlfriend of someone on Crimewatch.
I’ve texted Nicky. He hasn’t replied. Perhaps the shoplifter took his phone.
WEDNESDAY 20TH OCTOBER
4.42 p.m.
Everyone is talking about Nicky the criminal at school. Hardly anyone gets arrested at our school. He is officially totally hard. People are asking ME to tell HIM that HE is REALLY COOL.
I don’t think he is cool. I think he’s a doughnut.
5.32 p.m.
As long as Mum doesn’t find out about Nicky I’m OK. Luckily she’s been working really hard and is still falling asleep at stupid o’clock every day. It’s a good thing – like Gran says, when she’s dozy she’s not nosey.
THURSDAY 21ST OCTOBER
3.58 p.m.
Apparently, the rumour is Nicky is going to be excluded from school! Mrs Cob will not tolerate vandalism in or outside the building. Nor will she tolerate repeated absenteeism (she means bunking off). Nicky does both of those things. I’m going out with a major problem character now.
6.13 p.m.
Rob called me into the kitchen tonight. He’d been doing his last lesson of the day on Tuesday. During an emergency stop he saw Nicky getting arrested.
I begged him not to tell Mum. Rob just said, “Hattie, is he really the right boy for you? He’s already getting into trouble.”
It’s actually a good question.
7.32 p.m.
He still hasn’t texted me since he did it.
And do I REALLY love him? No.
No.
I don’t think I do. He’s hotness but even the tingles have gone. Tagging cancels out my tingles.
And really wasn’t I on the sort of rebound? Even though I wasn’t actually rebounding from anyone?
This is hard.
FRIDAY 22ND OCTOBER
6.38 p.m.
Barry is taking Gran to Europe! An OAP is having an officially more exciting life than her grandaughter!
Gran got really cross when I told her about Nicky! She of all people should understand loving a man who makes mistakes. She said, “Graffiti today! Armed robbery tomorrow. I know he’s from a tough background but that’s no excuse! Anyway – I need to get ready. Barry and me are going to Calais. He’s staying in his cab – I’m in a Holiday Inn. You don’t rough it at my age, Hattie. Neither should you be slumming it at 15. Get yourself a nice boy!”
Gran! Independent women like me do not want a “nice boy”. They want boys with strong personalities who also let us be our own women and who do lots of stuff on their own but also take control and say what they mean.
9.32 p.m.
I hardly see Nicky and when I do it’s because HE wants to.
I am not a strong independent woman. I am a bit rubbish.
SATURDAY 23RD OCTOBER
2.34 p.m.
Nicky FINALLY rang. He was really horrible! He said, “Tagging is my right. It’s like art. It’s just a scribble, Hattie. Get over it. If you don’t want my heat get out of my kitchen!”
I didn’t have a chance to talk. He just shouted at me about how he “wasn’t actually in the wrong” for about 10 minutes. Then he said, “If you really want me I’ll be around!”
I don’t think I want to be around.
SUNDAY 24TH OCTOBER
10.12 a.m.
Why am I so useless in love?
2.14 p.m.
No, Mum. Roast lamb will not cheer me up.
4.44 p.m.
It did a bit. But I still don’t know what to do!
MONDAY 25TH OCTOBER
9.23 a.m.
Mum just asked me how it’s going with Nicky.
I said, “Yeah. Good.”
Even through Lemsip and Berocca cocktails she can TOTALLY tell there is something wrong.
7.34 p.m.
Spent all day in my room listening to music wondering what to do about Nicky. I think it’s got to end but am I deserting a man in actual need of my help? Perhaps I can help him stop drawing on everything.
TUESDAY 26TH OCTOBER
7.23 p.m.
Mum knows! SHE WENT MENTAL. And the best thing – not?! Goose told her! He’s apparently “worried” about me. He never worries about me these days – he’s too busy snogging flimsy-dress FAKE woman.
What a grass!
What business of HIS is it anyway? Why does HE care?
WEDNESDAY 27TH OCTOBER
5.23 p.m.
Nicky has had a meeting with the police. They say next time they catch him they are not going to hold back. They are going to tag him. Tags for taggers. They are suggesting his parents give him a curfew, which they’ve done. His dad turned up to the station IN SLIPPERS and promised that Nicky was going to stay in at night from now on.
Nicky said, “I’m not. I might go to Manchester when I’m 16 and start squatting. Hattie, you can come. My mate is already there! We can find an empty place in Moss Side. You can get a job in Maccy D’s and I’ll sell my art.”
No.
No.
This isn’t what I want. I don’t want to end up in a craptacular flat. I like electricity and running water.
6.34 p.m.
Told Dimple. She says I have to finish it. I do.
THURSDAY 28TH OCTOBER
5.45 p.m.
Horrific craptacular day.
I finished with Nicky.
NICKY: Hi, Shorty. Missed ya.
ME: Nicky – it’s not…
NICKY: I totally know what you are going to say. I know I shouldn’t have tagged a police car. It was a stupid dare thing.
ME: I think we should sort of finish because I sort of need to concentrate on my school and stuff. And Princess – my gran’s dog – has got emotional issues and needs my help. She bit the Dog Whisperer. I’m the only one left who can brush her without getting savaged to actual death. (WHY DID I SAY THAT?)
NICKY: Princess is about the size of a cat. Don’t make crap excuses, Hattie. Whatever. I get it. First sign of trouble and you’re gone. Like everybody else in my life!
ME: No – it’s just that I’m … I’ve got—
NICKY: Bye, Shorty. I know what this is really about. You have totally USED me! Don’t think I don’t know. I’ve seen the way you look at HIM. I’ve seen the way you look at his girlfriend! I’ve heard the way you talk about him! IT’S OBVIOUS YOU LIKE HIM, HATTIE. You’ve treated me like CRAP. You’re a USER! (Then he started to cry a bit.) A really nasty USING … USER! AND by the way, you look REALLY stupid when you smoke. AND you can’t kiss properly.
Then he just stormed off.
Crying.
Why are men so nasty?
7.25 p.m.
Jen says men can’t handle rejection. Apparently Nicky has let his inner woman die.
7.45 p.m.
Dimple says Nicky is a pig and it’s got nothing to do with his inner woman. Just his outer TOTAL idiot.
FRIDAY 29TH OCTOBER
7.38 a.m.
Just told Gran. She said, “I’m sad for you, Hattie. He’s got a lot of growing up to do.”
Gran ALWAYS says this about everyone who disagrees with he
r or does something wrong. She said her friend Ron had to “mature” after he decided to stop watching Emmerdale. Ron is 78. How much more mature can you be?
Gran had to go. She was somewhere near Belgium and her croissant was going limp. “I can’t speak to you and eat a pastry, Hattie. It could flake in my phone and I’d lose my high score on Candy Crush.”
Cakes and apps. More important than my actual heart in pieces. Even though I’m the one who did it.
I hope Nicky is OK.
I really do. I shouldn’t have done … what I did.
I don’t mean dump him. I mean … what he said.
5.46 p.m.
Saw Goose tonight and said, “Could you ACTUALLY keep out of my business?”
When he went to say something I just shouted, “Leave it, OK! And by the way MEGAN IS HORRIBLE TO PEOPLE WITH ZITS. So if I were you I wouldn’t eat any chocolate or have hormones!”
Goose didn’t say anything.
There are now no boys I get on with. In my ENTIRE life.
Well done, Hattie.
SATURDAY 30TH OCTOBER
12.38 p.m.
OMG! Florence Morse – ULTIMATE REBEL AND COOLEST GIRL IN SCHOOL EVER – has invited me to her house for Halloween. We are going to watch the film Friday the 13th. I’m not nervous about it – even though it’s my full first 18 film. It can’t be that bad.
4.37 p.m.
I am worried – what if it is that bad?
SUNDAY 31ST OCTOBER
9.36 a.m.
Nicky is spreading it that HE dumped me. He posted on Facebook:
Facebook:
If my shorty gives me trouble I say BYE. If she can’t kiss properly I say BYE BYE.
Whatever, Nicky. WHATEVER.
Seeing a scary film tonight. At least that will take my mind off my totally scary life.
11.23 p.m.
OMG – it was SCARY bad. Basically there’s a man called Jason. He wears a mask and murders people. I can tell why it was an 18. It’s really … I didn’t like it. I don’t think I like horror. I think I like Disney.
MONDAY 1ST NOVEMBER
5.32 a.m.
Didn’t sleep much last night.
4.13 p.m.
Dimple told me something UNBELIEVABLE today. Apparently Florence Morse invited me round to watch the film because:
1. She is good friends with Nicky and they all agreed I needed to be taught a lesson. It was a horror-film revenge attack.
2. I am now known as a “user”. I suppose I deserve it.
3. I’m a well-known total nerd wimp and everyone in HER gang wanted a laugh. Apparently there’s a video of me screaming doing the rounds.
4.46 p.m.
And a video of me covering my eyes with the remote control.
4.56 p.m.
And a video of me biting a cushion in terror.
TUESDAY 2ND NOVEMBER
7.32 p.m.
I fell asleep on the sofa today after school – it’s safer to sleep in the day. I know that Jason doesn’t exist but that’s not the point.
WEDNESDAY 3RD NOVEMBER
6.24 a.m.
Went to bed last night with Mum’s vegetable peeler under the pillow. I didn’t want to take a knife because that’s too dangerous – I could stab myself in the actual face.
THURSDAY 4TH NOVEMBER
7.34 a.m.
These are the times when I really miss Nicky. He could handle a psycho.
7.50 a.m.
No, he couldn’t. He’d probably just try to tag him.
ANYWAY he caused all this! Nicky the revenge craptacular attacker has made me scared of the one place I actually loved – my own bedroom.
FRIDAY 5TH NOVEMBER
9.14 p.m.
I’m so jumpy that the FIREWORKS are making me feel TOTALLY LIKE I’M CRAZY this year. Went to Gran’s. Princess was holding a sparkler. I felt like hiding under the table and whimpering. That is what the dog is meant to do.
SATURDAY 6TH NOVEMBER
3.56 p.m.
Saw Ruby today. Her spots have cleared up so she’s happy about everything in the world. I told her about Halloween and how I hadn’t slept properly in days. She said I have to fill my head with lovely things every time I think about being butchered. It’s how she got through having terrible zits. This is going to be hard but I am going to try.
• Chickens.
• Flowers.
• Zebras.
• Biscuits.
• Jason riding a zebra eating a big biscuit … holding a big knife.
He is still in my head!
Ruby also said she is going to have a go at Florence Morse but then she said, “But you did mess Nicky about, Hattie. You don’t play with man fire and not expect to get BADLY BURNED.”
7.12 p.m.
Told Mum I need counselling. She said, “Don’t talk nonsense, Hattie – try thinking about a nice Disney film instead. Like Bambi.” GOOD IDEA, MUM.
SUNDAY 7TH NOVEMBER
2.18 p.m.
OMG – Bambi’s mum dies! TRAUMA.
MONDAY 8TH NOVEMBER
6.32 p.m.
Any chance all these people could stop letting fireworks off?
TUESDAY 9TH NOVEMBER
4.26 p.m.
Rob says I should have known after last year when I got worked up about murderers “that I do not handle violent crime well – even if it is just a film”. Then Rob said, “I think you need a little bit of help, lady. A perk-up.”
PLEASE, ROB – DO NOT MAKE ME A REGGAE REGGAE SAUCE SANDWICH.
6.12 p.m.
OMG – GOOSE HAS JUST SENT ME A TEXT!
Just seen the video of you biting a cushion. Do u wanna come round? XX
I have replied:
Are you being sarcastic?
6.23 p.m.
Goose has replied:
No. Come round XX
2 KISSES!!!
But he’s still going out with Megan Fenton…
10.34 p.m.
Goose was great.
He said, “I’m sorry to hear about what’s been going on.”
I told him I was terrified of going to sleep. He said, “Why don’t you have a sleep here and me and Freak will protect you. I can do some homework.”
So I did. Then I woke up and came home.
It was weird. But nice.
WEDNESDAY 10TH NOVEMBER
5.35 p.m.
Barry and Gran have split. She told me, “There’s only so much you can say about motorways. We had nothing in common, Hattie. It’s difficult to deal with a man who wears a Texaco padded jacket to bed and pretends to honk his lorry hooter every time he wants you to move. I prefer an ‘Excuse me’. Plus, once I’d told people, some of the mystery had gone.”
I told her I was sleeping at Goose’s house. She went MAD until I said, “No – actual sleeping – like SNORING, Gran.” She said that was fine.
Of course it is. My family would love for me to sleep for 100 years and get no man action ever again.
THURSDAY 11TH NOVEMBER
8.37 p.m.
OMG – fell asleep on Goose’s bed whilst he was cleaning out Freak. Woke up to find he’d made me a cup of coffee and some toast but THEN Megan Fenton came round and went MAD!!! LIKE YOU’VE NEVER SEEN ANYONE GO MAD BEFORE! Then they had this MASSIVE ROW!
MEGAN: What is THAT (Meaning ME!) doing here?
GOOSE: Er … Hattie is just having a nap.
MEGAN: Don’t LIE. WHAT IS GOING ON?!
GOOSE: Megan, seriously, she is just having a nap. I SWEAR NOTHING has happened!
MEGAN: So just coincidentally DERBY’S BIGGEST USER turns up in your bedroom DAYS after she gets dumped by Nicky Bainton for not being able to kiss properly?
GOOSE: NOTHING HAS GONE ON. Hattie, you’d better go…
So I did but I could hear them arguing for ages through the wall. Eventually Megan stormed out.
I honestly don’t want to hurt Goose. I’m just glad we are mates again. That sounds like I don’t want to be more tha
n friends. I DO. BUT I KNOW he’s going out with Megan. NOTHING HAPPENED!
FRIDAY 12TH NOVEMBER
4.35 p.m.
Told Jen and Dimple about Goose and Megan Fenton. They smiled at each other but they also told me there’s now a rumour going round that I’m both a user and a stealer of boyfriends.
User. Fair enough but its not like I’ve stolen ANYONE’S BOYFRIEND!
