by Ash Night
Going home with someone else wasn’t my smartest idea either. The guy wasn’t even that interesting. He simply wanted a quick blowjob in the parking lot in exchange for the ride home. Easy enough and it beat trying to walk home when I could barely see straight, much less walk straight.
I really needed to stop doing that. I wanted to stop using my body to survive. I wanted to actually do something productive for the world. Singing to Ryder’s CDs had been some of the most fun I’d had in since before my parents died. Even when I felt him watching, I felt happy. I was secretly glad he saw. I had hoped I’d get to sing with him one day. But here I was, just a sex slave again.
I used to be Devin’s favorite. He’d picked me up at a bar and paid the dude I’d been staying with for me. I’d been there when the transaction took place. It didn’t surprise me. I knew what I was. I was an item to be bought and sold. The only way I felt less like an item was when I ran. If I decided when I left, maybe I wasn’t such a waste. Maybe I was worth something.
Devin quickly recognized my talent for stealing from guys. He put me to work as a drug peddler. I sold mostly to guys, if they paid in cash. Devin gave strict orders not to allow sexual favors as a form of payment.
That was the most commonly asked question on my list. Did I accept sex for drugs? The answer was always no. That was why Devin liked me. I was loyal to him. Even when the guys were violent. They didn’t like paying in cash. Most of them didn’t touch me once they knew who I ran with. Others tried their luck. Devin would send someone to deal with them the next day.
I learned to never ask questions. Just do as I was told. Before I knew it, I was pulled from the small room I’d shared with five other girls where we’d slept on the floor into Devin’s bed. He had other women in his bedroom during the day but most nights I got to sleep there. It was nice to sleep in a bed again.
Which was why I liked Ryder’s place. It was nice not to be pressured into anything and to sleep in my own bed if I wanted. Of course, sleeping alone was tough. I missed feeling someone next to me. Even though most of the people who I stayed with weren’t always nice, they rarely were, I missed that sense of protection. I needed it. I craved it.
Ryder never threatened to hurt me. I realized that it wasn’t protection I missed. It was him. He was the embodiment of the protection I was missing. Tears welled up in my eyes. I’d never get to thank him for everything. Letting me stay in his home, even though he was taking a big risk by taking in a stranger with a drug problem. Saving my life. Making me a better person just by being himself. He was incredible.
I sighed. At least he’d have Lilly to remember me. If he didn’t toss her in a box or something. After all, to him, she was just junk. A reminder of the few weeks he opened his home to a stranger who left without saying a word and left a pile of stolen money, which he probably had already handed over to the police.
Meanwhile, they’d find my lifeless, bruised body in this room because I was never leaving. That was my life. I ran, but I never actually left the situation.
That stopped now. I would run from this life. I made that promise the minute Ryder forced me to wake up and stop using. I would make it out and I would have more moments like the one with Ryder’s CDs. A fire sparked to life in the pit of my stomach, warming me from the inside. No more pity party. I was getting out of here.
“You’re so beautiful, Lay-lay.” Devin stroked my hair. “I missed you. I really wished you hadn’t made me angry. Now someone else will take your place in my bed, maybe even as my favorite.” He wiggled his eyebrows, like that meant something. The only thing that meant was some poor girl was going to be groomed to be his lap dog and learn to jump on command.
“I can cry about that later,” I replied. “Just get it over with. I’ll be stuck paying you back but that doesn’t mean you can bore me to death.”
He slapped me. “You’ll watch your mouth. Three weeks away hasn’t done anything to improve your manners, I see.”
Scowling, I rubbed my cheek. I bit my tongue to keep from saying what was on my mind. He slid his hands under my shirt. I flinched. He laughed.
“Jumpy tonight, huh? Well, I just hope that broken finger earned me a little respect.”
I glanced at my finger. Before we came up to his bedroom, he’d called one of his buddies over to tape up my finger. Devin paid in weed. Apparently, the guy was a med student with a pot addiction.
“Wait, you’re not high, are you? I can fix that.” Turning and reaching into the drawer of his bedside table, he produced a needle and a small bag of heroin. My heart froze. My mind turned to mush. All I could think about was the sweet, sweet release that the contents of that bag would provide. Nothing else mattered in that moment.
He chuckled. “You’re looking at it the way a starving man looks at a Thanksgiving dinner. How long has it been since you got high?”
I thought for a moment. “Nineteen days,”
“Oh, you poor thing.” He heated up the spoon and melted the heroin. I couldn’t take my eyes off it. The syringe sucked up as much heroin as it could. I resisted the urge to grab the spoon and lick it. The pull was too strong.
Taking my arm gently, Devin searched for a vein. It took a while and he missed more than a few times. Then he hit it.
I wanted to melt into a puddle and spill onto the floor instantly. The sensation was like warm icing dripping onto a cake. A low moan escaped my lips.
“Feel good?”
“Yeeeesssss,”
The word stretched like a string of Christmas lights wrapped around a tree. My eyes were so heavy. I wanted sleep. I needed sleep. I was so tired. It felt like I hadn’t slept in a year. My mind was in a glorious fog. My problems were a million miles away.
“Come here, baby. You still need to pay up.” I felt Devin slide me closer to him as he undid the top button of my jeans.
I did nothing to stop him.
At least my finger didn’t hurt anymore.
Chapter Eighteen
Ryder
I woke up to water being dumped on me. Cold water. I flinched. There was a rattling sound above my head and a pulling sensation on my wrists. I glanced up and saw my hands were bound by handcuffs. The chain between the cuffs was tied to a longer chain connected to a metal ring that was attached to the celling. The chain was tightened so I was forced to stand. I was trapped. My heart hammered in my chest.
A laugh brought me to the present. A man was standing in front of me. “Hello, hero. Were you here to save Layla? I heard she ran. Good thing she needed a new phone.” My eyes widened. It was the guy from the phone store. “You poor bastard. You picked the wrong girl to get involved with.”
“Where is she?” I growled. “She better be safe.”
“Safe? No one who works for Devin is safe. You must not have much experience with drug dealers, do you?”
“No, not particularly. But can’t be that much different than living with an alcoholic, I bet.”
The man sneered. “Alcoholics are kids compared to the stuff we handle.” He pulled a bit on the chain and I heard my shoulder blades pop. My body was lifted and my full weight sagged. My arms were on fire. I groaned in pain. The guy smirked and released the chain. My feet hit the floor. I’d never been so happy to be touching the ground. My shoulders throbbed.
I chuckled bitterly. “You’re both abusive assholes, I see.”
“Ah, so lemme guess. Your dad hit you when you were a kid.”
“And used a belt,” I said. “When he was drunk. Otherwise he was just a regular asshole. Now, answer my question. Is Layla safe?”
He sighed. “You don’t listen very well.” Grabbing the chain, he yanked it down quickly. I screamed. He smirked and held the chain for a minute before letting it go.
Tears of pain welled up in my eyes. I blinked them back.
The man smiled. “Good. Behave like a good boy and that won’t happen again. You don’t ask the questions. I ask the questions, got it?”
I didn’t answer. Instead,
I looked down at the floor. Before long, the guy left me alone. I heard footsteps on invisible stairs. I was in a basement. Dammit, how was I going to save Layla now? Some hero I was.
Looking around the room, I saw Layla’s phone on the table. So those idiots were the ones who texted me. It wasn’t Layla. My heart fluttered. So, she didn’t hate me. Focus! That wasn’t going to help me get out of my situation.
Pulling myself up and grabbing the short bit of chain that I could reach, I swung back and forth like Rachel and I used to do at the lake on the rope swing when we were little. Man, these guys were dumbasses for leaving me unguarded but I was grateful for it. Grabbing the phone was going to be a lot harder than I thought. It was a slow process. Oh well, I had nothing but time.
I cringed as my foot plowed into the chair. The metal folding chair crashed into the wall. It wasn’t long before a small, frail-looking girl peered out from behind the wall.
“Hi,” I said awkwardly. “Um, please don’t kill me.”
“Do you know what time it is?” she asked, placing her hands on her hips.
“Um, no, what time is it?”
She blew out an annoyed breath. “Dammit, it’s three thirty in the morning, you idiot. Do you want to wake Devin up? He’s passed out drunk, but still.”
“Devin? That’s the guy the girl down by the bridge was talking about. Is this his place? Is a girl named Layla here?” I asked.
The girl’s blue eyes widened. “Layla? Brownish blonde hair? Brown eyes? About five five?”
“Yes, yes, that’s her! Is she here? Is she okay?”
She looked at the floor for a few seconds. My heart dropped to my toes. Whatever she knew, it wasn’t good. “Layla, she’s in bad shape. She OD’d. Kay was preforming CPR on her before I came to check on you. Devin just threw her into the room. When I left to check on the noise, she was turning blue…”
“She wha-No! How could she be…No…” The room spun. I suddenly felt like throwing up. “No, she…she was fine. She hasn’t done drugs in weeks! She quit!”
“Shhh! Do you want him to come down here?” She cupped her hand over my mouth and glared at me. “Layla ran away a few weeks ago. Are you the one she stayed with?”
I nodded. She didn’t take her hand away.
“Devin gave her some for her finger, he said. I don’t know how much. They were in the bedroom a while. She said the name ‘Ryder’ before she passed out. Is that you?”
I nodded again.
“Okay, really important question. If I take my hand away, do you promise to be quiet? I have a question to ask you and I would really appreciate it if you didn’t wake the boys up. If you do, you’re dead and I’m in a world of pain, okay?”
I nodded vigorously. She lifted her hand and smiled.
“No wonder she must like you. You are crazy cute, Ryder.”
“What’s your name?”
“Kristen,”
I chuckled. “Finally, I get to meet the real Kristen,”
“The real Kristen? Huh?”
“Layla said her name was Kristen when I first met her.”
Kristen giggled. “Really?”
“Can you go check on her? Please?” I begged. “I need to know she’s okay.”
“Sorry, if I go back up there, I have to stay. I have to go soon, anyway. Devin does a room check at four AM sharp.”
“No, please! I need to know she’s okay!” I strained against the chains as she started to walk away.
“I’m so sorry, Ryder. I’ll let you know, I promise. In the meantime, please do not say anything about talking to me, all right?”
She glided up the stairs quietly like a ghost. I yanked on the chains, feeling helpless. What if Layla died? What would I do? I couldn’t lose her. I couldn’t.
Chapter Nineteen
Layla
“Layla? Layla, are you okay?”
There was a flurry of activity around me. A bunch of girls were talking all at once. I knew then that I was in the Room. The Room was what we called the small, bare room all five of us girls were forced to share. It was really only big enough for two to comfortably sleep, but we made it work.
It was devoid of furniture, save for a one-person vanity so we had a place to do our make-up. Devin liked his girls to look pretty whenever we went out. If I ever found a way to get the girls out, I would burn this house to the ground. I’d start it in this room. God, I hated it.
Opening my eyes was a monumental effort. Why did my chest hurt? It felt like someone had sucker-punched me in the stomach. And then hit me with a bus.
“What the hell happened?” I asked, slowly sitting up.
“You overdosed,” Kay said. “Are you okay?”
I nodded. “Yeah, thanks for the CPR.” I knew she’d been the one to do it because she’d done it for a lot of the girls before. Some didn’t make it. Kay took it hard when that happened. It made me all the more grateful I’d survived.
Kay smiled. “No problem.”
“Dammit, I promised Ryder…” I muttered. I suddenly felt extremely violated, worse than after rape. Rape, I was numb to. I was not used to being given drugs without my consent. I had wanted it. But I hadn’t said yes. “I need a bath. Boil some water.”
Her smile faded. “Layla…you’ve been gone for weeks. Where were you?”
“Yeah, bailin’ on us already?” Sarah joked. She glanced at the floor sadly. “Too bad you didn’t get away.”
“Devin had a contact spot me at a phone store. He got my number and threatened my…friend.”
“Oooh, a friend? What was he like?” Kay asked.
“A really nice guy kidnapped me. Seriously, he literally picked me up off the streets. He’s a really good guy. You and the other girls would love him. Mace wo-” Sarah and Kay looked down as soon as I said Macy’s name. A cold sense of dread washed over me. “Oh…what happened?”
Sarah’s right hand was clenched into a fist. “Devin thought she was stealing. She was coming home from runs high so he thought she was snorting what she didn’t sell… He took her outside and…shot her… She had a bag over her head and was dragged out, kicking and screaming.”
Macy was the youngest of the girls in the Room. She was nineteen. She’d been on her way to getting a bachelor’s degree in science. Devin used her to make some of the stuff we sold. Her first week running with us she’d scarred half of her face in an accident while mixing the drugs. She’d been such a pretty girl. After the accident, Devin had been meaner to her. He’d made her have sex with the more overweight clients, the ones he was less enthusiastic about having touch the ‘pretty’ girls. She’d only been with us for a few months, but I’d always liked her. She’d always tried to cheer everyone else up while she cried herself to sleep on the particularly bad nights.
“I’m sorry…” I said. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here.”
“Nothing you could have done,” Sarah replied, unclenching her fist and wiping her eyes. “It was in the middle of the night last week. I just hate that we couldn’t do anything. We couldn’t even be present to bury her…Goddammit…I am so sick of this life!”
A chorus of ‘me too’ came from the other girls. I nodded, feeling guilty. I’d wanted to go to the police about everything. The girls had always been on my mind, but I wasn’t sure who to go to. Devin had contacts all over. Who’s to say the police force didn’t have one or two officers that worked for him? It was too risky.
“Why did Devin send me back here? I’d been in the basement last night. Is it still night?” I asked.
“It’s eight in the morning. I saw the clock in the kitchen when I came back.” Kristen said, speaking up for the first time. She looked like she wanted to say more.
“When did you leave?”
She sighed. “Devin sent me to Clark’s at six this morning. Early morning deal. I finally left and…I’m pretty tired.”
“Get some sleep. We’ll keep it down,” Sarah promised. I shuddered inwardly. Clark was one of Devin’s clients he’d known fro
m high school. Clark always paid in cash for his fix, but Devin also allowed him free access to us when we were sent to his house. Clark was rough. His last girlfriend died from a beating. He’d gotten a year in jail. That had made me a lot meaner, angrier. Being sent to his house was a nightmare. Devin simply overlooked our broken bones and black eyes. After all, Clark was a friend, and a friend of the devil didn’t get punished.
Kristen smiled. She knew what I was thinking. “It’s all right, Lays. I’m fine. Glad you’re safe.”
“Good night,” I said. I was curious about what she had wanted to tell me but didn’t want to press her. Dealing with Clark was stressful. There would probably be time to ask her when she woke up.
She was snoring into a pillow seconds later, using one of the old thin, ratty blankets to cover up with. That blanket smelled so much like beer, we were ninety-five percent sure we could actually get drunk if we sniffed it long enough. But it was all we had.
“He took you to Solitary?” Kay asked. “Is that why your finger is broken?”
“Yup,” I said, glancing at my taped finger. A dull throb told me it was still attached. “He was angry. I stole some cash out of the safe. He told me the combo in a drunken stupor a few nights before I left. I assume he’ll change it, if he hasn’t already.”
Sarah nodded. “Probably when he got up to send Kris out. Or maybe before he went to bed. He threw you in here a couple hours ago. Breakfast should be ready right about-” She grinned when Devin knocked on the door. “Like fucking clockwork.”
Kristen didn’t even move, even though Devin’s knocking startled me. I wasn’t used to loud noises anymore. Ryder was a quiet guy when he wasn’t talking about music. Thinking about his rants made me smile. I dropped the smile as soon as the door opened. Devin would ask about it, and I was too out of it to come up with a good lie.
“Breakfast is ready. Eat up, girls. We all have a busy day. Lots of orders today,” Devin said. We stood up and went out the door single file. Sarah gave my hand a quick squeeze before she took her place in front of me. I was last in line this time. I was usually at the front. It was the girls’ way of protecting me. I was touched at their kindness.
