“I meant what I said earlier. There's no going back. The army has better things to do with its time than cart children from house to house.”
“I know.” I stared up at the man with gratitude. “Thank you for agreeing to this, officer.”
“Consider this a favor...for your father.” He hesitated then spun on his heel and walked away, leaving me confused.
There'd been something in his eyes, a certain look. Pity. He knew something. I was sure of it.
“Wait!” I cried, taking a few steps towards the truck.
He ignored me and climbed in, averting his gaze. The driver flashed me a look then asked the officer a question. I couldn't quite hear what he said but I caught part of the answer.
“Her father...part of a group...infected, all of them. Had to be put down.”
The patrol drove off, the roar of the engine drowning out the rest of the officer's words but I'd heard enough. I stood, feet rooted to the spot as my heart ached with a pain that was visceral, those last words echoing through my mind: Had to be put down.
11
Chapter 10
At first, Andy refused to believe what I had overheard the soldier say. He stomped around the house, raging in impotent anger until the next patrol showed up. His furious demands for answers got him nothing more than a rifle butt to the chest.
Mrs. Peterson and Jacob coaxed him back into the house while Lexi clung to me, shocked and tearful. The soldiers drove off, faces blank. To me, they had become the enemy. Cold and uncaring. Bloodthirsty.
Not once, did I question the truth of the soldier's statement. Unlike Andy, I knew it to be true. Believed it. Why else would my dad still be missing?
Lexi and I were given a bedroom to share and settled into a routine. Jacob took it upon himself to continue Lexi's schooling which distracted her from her loss, while I took on the bulk of the household chores. Though Mrs. Peterson protested and Jacob tried to help, I ignored them, needing the mindless distraction. Especially now that Andy appeared lost to me as well.
He spent most of his days pacing the fence, harassing the soldiers or disappearing at night. He rarely spoke to any of us, lost in a fugue of anger and grief. My friend was gone.
Anger at my father's execution and Andy's loss filled me until I wanted to scream. Finally, I could take no more and turned inward, tamping down the swirling emotions with ruthless determination. Life carried on without me, swirling around the epicenter of my grief in a blur of meaningless activity.
I became numb.
Empty.
Lifeless.
“Ava, dear. Eat something, please.” Mrs. Peterson's warm voice washed over me.
“I'm not hungry.”
“Please, Ava. You're becoming so thin.” Her face was creased with concern. “We're worried about you, dear.”
“I'm fine. No need to worry.”
“But I am worried, dear. You haven't been the same since...since...”
I stared at her for a few seconds before taking the tea and rusks she offered, going so far as to take a bite or two while she watched. Anything to get rid of her.
She patted me on the arm and shuffled away. I looked at her retreating back and noticed how much she'd aged. Streaks of gray ran through her hair, and her body was bent beneath the weight of her sorrow. I was not the only one who suffered.
I found it hard to care.
After choking down half a rusk, I set the rest aside, continuing to stare out at the street. The weather reflected my mood. The skies were a stormy gray, the air bitterly cold. Summer was still weeks away.
The soft voices of Jacob and Lexi drew my attention. They were lying on the carpet, engrossed in one of his books. He read the story to her, the rhythmic drone of his words transporting her to another world. Now and then she'd interject, asking a question or giggling at an amusing bit.
She looked happy. Her face shone with enjoyment as the scene in the story unfolded, all cares forgotten. A rush of anger flowed through me as I watched. How could she smile like that? Had she forgotten Dad so quickly? Was she that thoughtless?
Lexi looked up and our eyes met for several seconds before her gaze fell. Tears brimmed, threatening to spill over her cheeks. With a pang, I realized my face was twisted into an expression of hatred. With a gasp I jumped up, hurrying to the kitchen.
What was I doing? What was wrong with me?
Pressing a trembling hand to my lips, I closed my eyes, unable to deal with my feelings. Mindless activity was what I needed. It was the only thing that alleviated the leaden depression that had hold of me. Bucket and bleach in hand, I strode to the bathroom.
I scrubbed at the tiles for hours, ignoring Mrs. Peterson's pleas and Lexi's queries until the skin on my knuckles cracked and bled. I was trapped in a prison of my own making, the bars serving to keep others out and me in. Silent tears began to flow. I wasn't sure what I was crying for. The loss of another parent, my innocence, my life. Maybe all of it.
At some point, Andy arrived, summoned no doubt by his panicking mother. “Ava. That's enough.”
I ignored him, scrubbing harder at an imaginary speck.
“Ava.” He knelt next to me and with those large clumsy hands took the scrubbing brush from mine and gripped my bleeding fingers. “Please. You're scaring Lexi.”
A glance over my shoulder confirmed the truth of that. She stared at me with wide eyes, face crumpling as Jacob led her away. For the second time that day, I wondered what I was doing.
I allowed Andy to help me up. My legs had turned to jelly after hours spent on my knees. Leaning against him, I followed as he led the way outside to a small garden bench, wiping off my tears with a sleeve.
“Sit with me?”
I nodded and slumped down on the seat. He placed his arm around me and held me against him, not saying a word. I used the silence to gather my thoughts.
“Andy...I...I'm sorry.”
“I know. It's okay.”
“No, it's not. I shouldn't act like this.”
He sighed. “No one blames you. You've been through a lot.”
Shaking my head, I pulled away, facing him. “So have you. And your mom. Jacob. Lexi.” I stared down at my hands clenched in my lap. “I don't know what's wrong with me. It's like I can't feel anything. I'm a robot.”
“You're not a robot.” He gave me a lopsided smile. “Self-absorbed, maybe. Selfish, definitely. Robot? Not so much.”
“That's just mean. Selfish?” I glared at him.
“Sorry. Talking about feelings is not something I'm good at so I joke a lot.”
“Maybe you're right. I have been selfish.”
He was silent for a moment, thinking. “Tell you what. Wanna go on an adventure?”
“Huh?”
“Yeah. Just you and me. It might take your mind off everything.”
“What sort of adventure?”
He smiled. “The sort you don't tell my mom about.”
He left me on the garden bench, intrigued despite myself. But I had the feeling I knew what his 'adventure' entailed. We'd all noticed the extra items Andy sometimes came up with. Fresh fruit, vegetables, the odd candy bar or cool drink. Little things that made life easier.
While I'd never asked any questions before, pre-occupied with my grief, Mrs. Peterson had. Andy usually placated her with some story about meeting other people in the neighborhood to trade, which she chose to believe.
I did not. Trade? Trade what? Nobody had anything to trade. We all lived on the same bland rations week after week. Rice, canned goods, soup packets, tea, and if we were lucky, condensed milk.
No. I knew he got his stuff from somewhere other than the neighbors. And if I was right, he wanted me to go with him. I thought about that. Should I? It was bound to be dangerous. A frisson of excitement shivered through me. For a moment, I felt more alive than I had in ages until a thought occurred. What if something happens to me? What if the army catches me?
While the idea of capture didn't faze me, I had L
exi to think of. By rights, I shouldn't even entertain the notion of going. A surge of resentment caught me off guard. It was something I hadn't felt in a while, something I thought I'd gotten over by now.
When I had to give up my dream of studying to look after Lexi, I'd resented her, even hated her for it. One by one, my friends disappeared into the sunset while I was left behind, stuck with a kid and a grieving parent. Their needs anchored me to the house and my guilt prevented me from breaking the chains.
No one understood, not my best friend Jeanette. Not even Brian. How could they when I didn't even understand it myself?
In the end, I had to choose. It was the most difficult decision I'd ever had to make. One that broke my heart. Yet, in time, I'd made peace with it, content with my role as caretaker to Lexi. Until now. She won't be alone. She has Mrs. Peterson and Jacob now.
My attempts to reassure myself were feeble at best. But I couldn't sit around anymore. Day after day, my spirit was being broken. Grieving for my father, my mother, and a life I didn't have and never would.
Waiting. Always waiting.
I was tired of waiting.
***
I eased my limbs out from underneath the duvet, taking care not to make a sound. Lexi was fast asleep, worn out after spending the afternoon playing hopscotch with me. Although surprised at my sudden attentiveness after days of apathy, she'd been happy to have her old sister back. Besides, I'd needed to make up for my episode earlier.
After bunching up the covers to make a human shape, I fished out a bundle from beneath the bed. With this tucked under my arm, I slipped out of the room in my socked feet.
My heart was pounding as I tip-toed down the hall, praying Mrs. Peterson wouldn't wake up. The kitchen door was unlocked and I sneaked out, wincing when the hinges creaked. Outside, Andy was leaning against the wall, foot tapping on the ground as he waited.
“Hurry up,” he mouthed.
I unraveled the bundle, revealing a jacket, a pair of boots and my gun. Andy gave a nod of approval and shoved a pair of gloves and a balaclava into my hands. I pulled them on, grateful for the added warmth.
He beckoned, and I followed him to an old tree at the back of the yard. Andy scaled it with the ease of years of practice then let down a hand, helping me up into its thick, sturdy branches. I settled into a fork. “Now what?”
“Follow me, keep quiet and stay low.” His eyes gleamed at me in the faint light cast by the moon. “Got that?”
“Got it.” Excitement fizzed through my veins.
With the agility of a monkey, he scrambled across a branch hanging over the palisades bordering our yard and dropped onto the neighbor's ground.
“Come on,” he said, waving to me. “I'll catch you.”
I hesitated. Heights weren't my thing. Neither were trees. The limb looked very thin all of a sudden and the palisades were topped with sharp spikes. If I fell onto them...
“Psst. Move your ass.”
His impatience got me going. Bit by bit, I forced my hands and knees across. The branch dipped beneath my weight, tipping down. A wave of vertigo hit me and I froze. “Shit.”
“You're almost there. Keep going.”
I scrambled forward. The palisade spikes were right underneath me. My knee slipped, inner thigh scraping against the bark. Listing to the side, I felt myself begin to fall and threw myself forward. My body cleared the wall and a warm pair of hands grabbed me, lowering me to the ground.
“Told you I'd catch you,” Andy said, his voice low in my ear.
I blushed, caught off-guard by the way he held me against him. “Thanks.”
Much to my disappointment, he let go and turned away. “Come on. We've got a long way to go still.”
He led the way through the neighbor's' garden. If I remembered right, they were an old couple. No kids. No pets either, which was probably why Andy chose it. In the front, it was bordered by a low hedge.
“Wait here,” Andy slipped through a small gap, returning after a few seconds. “All clear. Let's go.”
Outside, the streets were quiet, not a sound to be heard except for crickets, frogs, and the occasional barking dog. Andy moved with confident speed, obviously used to the route and taking advantage of every bit of cover he could find. Once, in the distance, a patrol drove past, lights flashing. He ducked behind a bush, pulling me down with him and we waited until it was gone.
It didn't take long to reach our destination―a small shopping center located three blocks from our house. The place was tiny, consisting of little more than a convenience store, an ethnic hair salon, and a five rand shop that used to carry cheap novelty items and toys.
From behind a large electric box across the street, we studied it. To my eyes, it looked deserted, the doors to the shops locked with large padlocks. Until I spotted faint movement at the edge of the building, followed by the pinprick glow of a burning cigarette. Faint voices carried across the distance. Squinting, I could make out the figures of two soldiers, carrying what looked like very big guns to my uneducated eyes.
“What are we doing here?” I asked.
“We're breaking in.”
“What for?”
“Supplies.”
“What supplies? Didn't the army take everything when they got here?”
“They did but it's stored all over town in places like this. Makes delivery of rations to the various parts of town easier.”
I was astonished. I knew Andy got extra food from somewhere but I never thought it was by breaking into the army's stores. Fear flared in my gut. “What if we get shot?”
“We won't.”
“Really?” I flung a hand in the direction of the armed guards. “What about them?”
“We've got a plan.”
“We? Who's we?”
Our whispered conversation was rising in tone and pitch by the second. Andy placed a hand over my lips. “Shh. Be quiet. They'll hear us.”
A dark figure emerged from the shadow of a tree and ran across, keeping low to the ground. “Hey, Andy.”
A startled yelp almost escaped my lips, muffled at the last second. I grabbed for my gun but was stymied by my jacket. Fortunately.
“Crap,” I muttered. “Who the fuck are you?”
“I'm Lloyd. Who the fuck are you?” was the acerbic comeback.
“Shut it, you two,” Andy interrupted, ignoring my glare. “Lloyd this is Ava. The one I told you about.”
“Oh, I see,” Lloyd replied.
“See? See what?” I asked, my gaze jumping from one to the other.
“Nothing,” Andy replied. “We need to move.”
Lloyd smirked. “Right.” He pointed to a spot next to the building. “Matthew and Allen are already in place. Here are the bags.” He handed Andy an empty backpack.
Andy looked at him. “Ready?”
“Ready.”
“Ready for what?” I asked, panicking. This was all happening too fast.
“Stay here, Ava,” Andy said.
“And do what?”
“Keep watch.”
He slipped away before I could protest. Lloyd bent down and whispered in my ear. “When we come back this way, run. Run fast.” He flashed me a look, the white of his eyes pearl white against his dark skin. “If you can keep up, you might make it out alive.”
Then he was gone too, leaving me with my mouth hanging open and a growing dislike for Andy's friend. I stared after the two as they ran to the corner of the building, staying hidden as far as possible. To the side, a shadow moved. From it, a brick, or something similar, arced through the air, landing with a loud thud some distance away.
Startled calls from the guards told me they'd heard it too. They rushed forward, brandishing their rifles. Behind them, Andy and Lloyd scurried into the alley behind the shops. I realized they were aiming for the back door of the convenience store. The one used to off-load supplies.
My eyes swiveled back to the place where I assumed either Matthew or Allen hid. The guards ran around shou
ting. It was only a matter of time before they caught him.
Another stone flew through the air. This one from a spot much farther away. The soldiers followed. Behind them, mystery boy shot up from his hiding place and booked it down the road as fast as he could.
It took a few seconds for the soldiers to spot his fleeing figure then they were after him. To no avail. Whoever he was, he sure could run. At the same time, the other boy shot down the road in the opposite direction, making a clean getaway. I had to give it to this Allen and Matthew. They were fast.
The frustrated soldiers ground to a halt in the road, shouting after the fleeing figure of the first runner. One raised his gun and I sucked in a breath. Before he could shoot, the other grabbed the barrel, forcing it down. An angry argument broke out between the two.
My eyes fixed on the shop again. What about Lloyd and Andy? My question was answered two seconds later when each came tearing out from behind the building, sprinting towards me at full speed.
“Oh, shit.”
That's all I had time for before they were on me and Andy grabbed my arm, dragging me behind him. “Move!”
We were off down the road, running full tilt.
“Hey! Come back here!”
We kept running.
The sharp crack of rifle shots sounded. My legs moved faster of their own accord, pumping to keep up with the two boys who were a lot faster than me. Sweat broke out on my brow. I really need to get in shape.
We turned a corner, then another and another. The sounds of pursuit behind us faded. A gleam of light ahead warned of an approaching patrol, and Andy ducked down a side street then followed a row of bushes. We cut across an empty lot, then ran down the side of a ditch, loping along the bottom. It was clear he knew where he was going. How many nights has he done this?
It was thrilling, I had to admit. The fear, the danger. It made my heart thrum in my chest and my blood sing through my veins with every beat. For a few moments, all other thoughts vanished. Nothing mattered except the rush.
The Black Tide I: Remnants (Tides of Blood) Page 9
