Hidden Desire

by David Horne

  We ended up going out to eat that night with the whole family. They picked a famous seafood place, and I looked around with a grin as we sat down. We ordered drinks and a few appetizers, and I watched the family of the man I loved as they enjoyed their time with him. They made me and Olivia feel welcome, and I laughed a lot through the meal. We picked up some dessert to take home and piled on the couches in the casual living room to watch a movie. Olivia fell asleep with a peaceful smile on her face, and I wrapped a blanket around her before following Dane to bed.

  We spoke of our love as we made love slowly. We talked about our future, and I revealed that I could go with him down the line when he had a new home. I didn’t want to have him support me, and I’d work, but I had the freedom. I was just worried about Olivia, but I pushed the thought away as he held me close in his dark room. I could worry about that later.

  We had a Sunday brunch the following day after Terri came home from church and a few other family members stopped in. They hugged Dane and then us when we got introduced, sitting down to eat once everything was finished. There was a ton of home-cooked food, and I loved being here as they asked Dane about his future, smiling knowingly at me. Brunch turned into a long visit into the evening before someone insisted on getting some take out for all of us. I went to bed full and happy, holding Dane close as I kissed his neck.

  I didn’t want to go back to the chaos that was my life but still smiled when we piled into the car the following day. We were all tired and a bit somber about the drive back and just played music. We took turns this trip, and I had the last stretch. Olivia was sleeping in the back, and Dane was talking to James softly through his air pods about the upcoming game. It was peaceful, and I pulled into Olivia’s parking lot first. I got her bag out and woke her up gently as she blinked and looked around.

  “Thank you for bringing me. That was amazing.” She kissed my cheek as I helped her to her door, making sure the door was locked before going back to the car. I slipped into the driver seat and started the engine again, smiling at Dane.

  “Ready to be home?” I asked as he frowned thoughtfully.

  “In a way. I love being home with them, but a lot will be happening here soon. It’s coming so fast.” I drove to our apartments and parked, reaching over to squeeze his hand.

  “It is.” I sat back and looked up at my dark windows. “Why don’t you move in with me? We can see what happens after graduation for you and go from there. I just want to be with you.” His hand tightened around mine, and I gazed over at him.

  “I was going to bring up the same thing. I’m always there anyway, and I want to be with you.” He leaned over to kiss me, and I smiled against his lips. “Hell, I can pack a bag tonight. None of the furniture is even mine.”

  “Let’s just go to bed. I’ve missed it.”

  Chapter Ten

  Dane

  The championships were breathing down my neck as soon as I stepped onto the ice again. We were predicted to win, and while that was thrilling, it meant a lot of practices and working out. I valued the time with Lance in Rhode Island more every day, and despite living with him, we still only had a few hours a night together. I promised him that things would calm down as he supported my goal and always told him that I loved him. I never wanted him to doubt that. Since saying it, I felt like I couldn’t stop. It just bubbled over, and my friends started to look at me a little closer.

  “What’s going on with you?” James asked after practice one day when we had a moment alone.

  “I told Lance I loved him. We’re living together. Something happened at my parent’s house, and it just got so serious.” I smiled as I looked at him.

  “That’s great, Dane. I saw it with you guys from the start. Are you still keeping it on the down-low?” He looked curiously at me.

  “Sort of. Not as much. I don’t know, but I don’t care. I’m going to the pros, and nothing is going to stop me. It’s just that Lance has another year here. What if I end up in California or something?” I closed my locker and shoved my wallet into the pocket of my sweats.

  “See what happens. It’s the same with Polly, but she’s it for me. I think it will work out no matter what.” He nodded, and I took strength from him.

  “He’s also worried about leaving Olivia. He doesn’t say that, but they’re like family.” I shrugged, and we headed out to the cars.

  “A lot has happened for you in the last few months, Dane. Just keep the faith. It will work out.”

  We were at the weekend of the championship before I knew it. The game was at home, and my family was coming along with some hometown friends. I figured that Neil would be one of them, but that was in the past. Lance knew that I loved him. He’d have his standard seats with Polly and Olivia, and there was a gathering at the steakhouse when it was over, regardless of the ending. Our coach was proud of us, no matter what. We all wanted to win.

  I was at the rink most of the day to practice. Our custom jerseys were hanging in the locker room, and preparations were in the process of being made for the big win. Everyone else was arriving when the doors opened, and I skated the ice on my own for a moment as I took this all in.

  I was finished with this rink and this chapter of my life. I was graduating and moving forward to the fucking NHL. I’d been dreaming of that since I was a kid along with so many other guys I knew. I looked around at the staff preparing the snack bars and smelled the food with a deep inhale.

  Fuck. This was intense.

  We dressed and had a big talk before game time. Coach got a little emotional as he talked about those of us leaving school and moving on. He told us we had a great season and that we were all skilled players. I glanced at James as he shifted on the bench, and we shared a smile. Over the years, we’d become brothers. I was close to so many guys on the team, but James was the one I clicked with immediately.

  We headed out to the ice to screams and cheers. I looked around as lights spotlighted us, making it too bright to see the crowd. I grinned and skated around, waving and looking all over the place. When the other team was announced, and they had their turn, the main lights came on, and I blinked slowly.

  I saw my family. I saw my friends. They were all beaming down at me, but it was Lance that I was looking for the most. Our eyes locked, and I smiled as he blew me a kiss, catching it with a subtle movement of my hand.

  We moved to the center of the ice, and the puck dropped. James took control of it, and it was game on from there. We all played hard, and I could see how much the other team wanted the same things that we did. Things got rough a few times, but it was all part of the game, like always. I just kept an eye on the puck and did everything I could to control it.

  My legs were burning as the game went on, and the coach was keeping me in quite a bit. I knew it was for a good reason, but man did I hurt. We had a one-goal lead by the third, and I told myself just a little longer. I shared a look with James as we breathed deeply, just needing to go on a little more. I glanced into the stands to see Lance staring at me and smiled weakly.

  The puck dropped, and the other guys got control of it, trying to get to our goalie. I fought to speed ahead and yelled when James got it and looked around. He passed it through skates and sticks, and I grabbed it, taking a look several feet down the ice. I held my breath and shot it hard, watching as it slid under their goalie and into the net, lighting up as the crowd screamed my name. I felt the guys around me, hugging me and congratulating me as I took in the moment. We just needed to hang onto this lead for five minutes longer, and we’d be the champions.

  When the clock ran down, everyone lost it in the building. My team skated out, and we ended up in a big huddle in the middle of the ice. I saw the fans jumping and cheering around me as I clung to one guy after another, feeling the adrenaline rushing through my body. “Holy shit!” I screamed as James wrapped his arms around me. “We did it. We won!”

  There was a talk with the coach and then press to speak to about the game. I was front and c
enter with James and our excellent goalie, thanking everyone for their support. We were already showered and changed into suits and headed to the steakhouse to the party. I already had rooms for my family nearby and one for Lance and me. I didn’t want to worry about getting home later, and a lot of the guys did the same thing.

  It was insane how loud our greeting was as I followed the coach through the glass doors. Everyone cheered and screamed, and I winced at the sound in the ordinarily quiet restaurant. We headed to the backroom, and I saw friends and family drinking and waiting for us. I was so torn, but I hugged my parents when they both ran to me, then my siblings. When that was done, I looked for Lance and saw him leaning against a table with a beer in his hand. I strode over, and he grinned as I stopped in front of him.

  “Have I ever told you how fucking sexy you look on that ice?” His voice was soft, and I licked my lips, watching his gaze drop to watch. “I’m so proud of you, Dane. You kicked ass out there.”

  He wrapped his arms around me the same time I reached for him. I held him close as any concerns about us disappeared. I didn’t plan to make out with him here and now, but this embrace was everything to me. “I love you, Lance.”

  “I love you, baby. So fucking much.” We stayed like that as people gathered together and food was ordered by the attendees. We finally parted, and I greeted the hysterical Polly and crying Olivia. There was so much emotion in this room, and I felt like I was going to sleep for a week once I was back home.

  In the blink of an eye, I was walking across the stage at graduation. I already knew that a few teams were interested in me, but I focused on the moment as I paused onstage to smile at the massive crowd. Whistles filled the air, and I knew it was Lance and my friends. I warned them about that but fuck it. I was done with college.

  We had dinner with my family and another small party in a private room. I was happy, but the reality that I might be leaving Pennsylvania was setting in hard. Lance and Olivia would be here for another year, and though I knew he was financially stable; I didn’t want to ask Lance to leave everything behind for me. I loved him more than anything, but he had plans before he met me.

  We woke up the following morning, and I felt like I could sleep forever. There was a parade coming up with the team, and after that, teams would be sending out offers. I was so damned nervous and hoped that Pittsburgh selected me for a few reasons. They had always been a top team in the league and had a good chance at the cup any season. They were also local, and no major changes would have to happen. I could live in this apartment, or we could get something else, and both live our lives. The others that were interested were great but much further. With travel alone, I’d have a hard time seeing anyone but my team.

  I was quiet for the next few days as I waited for news. They were on break, and we spent a lot of time at the apartment or with friends. I knew that I was withdrawing from Lance as I waited, worried about our future. We were out among friends, and nobody seemed to care, but I wasn’t sure about the league. He rode it out, but I sensed his discomfort as he threw himself more into projects that he didn’t need to do. He spent a lot of time with Olivia at her apartment as I wrestled with my feelings over everything that was happening. I felt like I was always on the phone with my family or the agent that the coach hooked me up with at the end of the season. He thought it necessary to have someone helping me with this decision.

  I wondered why I had to fall in love now. This was probably the hardest time in my life for this, but I couldn’t stop any of it. Lance was the best person I’d ever met. He was tense right along with me but held it in until the night he was trying to make some dinner. I heard the crash of a pan and his curse as I hurried down the hallway to see what happened. “Fuck. I dropped the chicken.” His voice was frustrated, and I dropped to the floor, where he was staring at the mess.

  “It’s okay. We can order out or something.” I assured him as I stroked his hair. In a strange turn of events, Olivia had met one of the players and connected with him. They were on their first date, and he seemed perfect for her so far. He’d already been warned to treat her right or else he’d pay the price. Declan was something of an urban legend now, and nobody wanted that.

  “What will we do when you’re gone? I don’t want to lose you.” Lance gazed at me with the same pain that I was feeling inside.

  “We don’t know anything yet, baby. Don’t worry.” I kissed him, and he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me down over him as our teeth crashed together. Dinner and everything else were forgotten as I rocked against him, feeling his hard cock. We kissed and stripped down to nothing before I pushed him to his knees. I grabbed the closest bottle of lube and spilled it in my haste, hearing his ragged breathing. Once I was inside of him, we rocked together, and he moaned my name. I reached around to grip his cock as I thrust inside, feeling him shudder under me.

  “Dane. Fuck. Feels so good.” I jerked forward harshly, and he shot his release on the floor as I filled him. We both collapsed to the floor and breathed deeply as I fell to my back.

  “Fuck me.” That was some of the most intense sex of my life, and I tried to recover. I didn’t know if I wanted to eat or sleep or fuck him all over again. “I love you. No matter what, I love you.”

  “I love you.”

  My phone chimed across the room, and I blinked slowly. I looked over, knowing that I shouldn’t ignore this call. I crawled across the room and sat on my knees as I looked at my agent’s name flashing on the screen. “This is it.” I could feel it in my gut and pressed the answer button, bringing the phone to my ear.

  Chapter Eleven

  Lance

  I looked at the boxes stacked around the apartment. There were piling up, and I sipped my beer as I leaned against the wall.

  I couldn’t believe this was happening.

  My boyfriend was drafted by the NHL and would be starting in just a few months. He was so nervous, as well as excited, and I did all that I could to support him through all of this. This was his dream.

  The best part was, he was staying in Pennsylvania. They offered him the best deal, and with staying in the state, there was no question as to whether he should take it. We were getting an apartment closer to Dane’s new job, and I’d continue the few classes I had left online. I couldn’t believe our luck at all. The team was amazing just on their own but staying together was perfect. We could spend time with his family, and I wasn’t going to have to consider leaving Olivia behind.

  She was making her own life with a new guy. He would be playing his last year of college hockey the following year after a necessary transfer. She clicked with Mason quickly once she gave it a chance and learned to trust him. Everything moved fast after that, but she was the happiest I’d ever seen her. He treated her like she was a princess, and her confidence was coming back, little by little.

  It was great to see.

  I heard the door open and smiled as Dane walked through the front door. “Hey, baby.”

  “These fucking boxes are multiplying, and we already got rid of shit.” He shook his head and dropped his keys on the counter. “I stopped by the new place. It will be ready in a few days.” The build was new, and they were completing our custom apartment. Between my account and the new salary that Dane was receiving, we could afford the deposit and decided to go for it until we figured out where he’d end up. I wasn’t scared about it because I knew that I could go anywhere with him. My degree would help me if I were to stay in a city for a while, but I’d also set up some permanent jobs with some clients. They were excited about Dane’s success and wanted me to go along for the ride. I proved myself to the handful of steady ones, and it looked like I’d have regular work to do.

  “I know. I would swear I had nothing when I moved in here and that you came with nothing.” I smiled as he rolled his eyes and walked over to pull me into his arms. “Hi, baby. I missed you.”

  “I’m so happy that this worked out. I probably wanted to play for them, to begin with, but now
that we’re staying together, it’s perfect.” Dane captured my mouth in a soft kiss as I slipped my hands over his thighs. “I love you.”

  “I can’t wait for our future.” I murmured before he kissed me again, turning me, so my back pressed to the wall. We still had a little unpacking to do, but that was forgotten as he distracted me with his mouth.

  Everything was falling into place. He was going to come out to the new team slowly, beginning with the coach. There was no reason that he would be asked to leave the league with the new laws. He also wanted to keep his privacy as he had through college. I agreed with that since I preferred it my entire life though I was learning to open up to more people than just Olivia. She would always be my sister, but I was becoming great friends with James, who was selected by the same team. That news led to a proposal one night when we were out to dinner as a group, which led to a weeping Polly as she collapsed into her fiancé’s arms. Some of the guys thought he was crazy to settle down so young, but Polly was it for him. She was willing to go the extra mile to be with him and live the life of a hockey wife.

  I knew that I wasn’t there with Dane yet. We were going to tackle his future and get him settled in the life he dreamed about his entire life. I knew the day would come, but just moving into our new apartment was perfect. I couldn’t wait to see him on the ice with his new jersey, one that I’d already ordered.

  We visited his parents regularly. Hell, half the time James and Polly came. Olivia even brought her new guy, and I had a feeling that we’d be part of every holiday. Olivia wasn’t close to her family, but mine was close enough to visit often, and eventually, I knew we’d all be one big, happy family. I hoped so, at least. I wanted to be with Dane for the rest of my life.