by Hanna Hart
How could she tell her daughter that the father she’d known her whole life was just…some guy?
Then again, Lincoln abandoning Ember was something she couldn’t change. She couldn’t take it back or undo it, but she could give Ember a new hope—a relationship with Bennett.
Unable to dwell on the subject any longer, she texted Lincoln from her bed.
“How are you?” she asked.
They had been communicating exclusively through text the past two months, as per his request, and it was so hard to understand his tone through the short, written statements. It was odd, considering she used to be able to read him like a book.
“Fine,” he said.
She exhaled slowly. “I’ve been thinking a lot lately about Ember and her dad. We’ve reconnected lately.”
“Huh? You and Ember?”
“No,” she wrote. “Me and Bennett.”
She had conveniently left that part out when she had told Lincoln that she was taking Ember on vacation for a month. She’d also left out the part where they were going to Montana.
“The whole thing has been weighing on my mind and I was thinking that I might tell her the truth about her biological father,” she wrote, then hovered her thumb over the send button.
June erased and re-wrote the sentence three times, but it all came out sounding the same. Awful and surreal. Finally, she just sent him the message.
She held her breath, waiting for him to respond. She wondered if he would be hurt or outraged at the thought of Ember finding out he wasn’t really her father. She wondered if he would call and she would be up half of the night explaining her reasoning to him.
What he finally wrote was lackluster at best.
“She’s a little young, don’t you think?”
“I wondered that, too,” she replied, trying to get any dialogue going with him. “I don’t know, Linc. I was hoping you would have some insight on what I should do?”
“Do whatever you think is best. You are her mother.”
“And you’re her dad,” she sent.
“Apparently, you don’t want her to think that anymore, so whatever.”
“Well you’re not acting like a dad these days,” she wrote and hated herself for starting an argument with him, but the truth was she had been hoping he would react a little stronger to the news. She wanted him to care about Ember. “I certainly wouldn’t try and punish you for it,” she continued. “I don’t want to hurt you or confuse her; I just can’t stop thinking about it.”
“Then you’ve already made your mind up,” he wrote.
She exhaled in frustration, her fingers going a mile a minute as she typed, “I’m trying to have a conversation with you. What do you think? I’m thinking I should do it. Would you prefer to be there when I do?”
“Tell her. Don’t tell her. I don’t really care, June.”
Telling Ember didn’t mean only rocking Bennett, Lincoln, and her daughter’s worlds.
Since her pregnancy, she’d also been lying to her family about who Ember’s real father was. She had never told a soul, except for Lincoln, and she knew he hadn’t spilled the truth to anyone. Though she wouldn’t be surprised if he told his new girlfriend. After all, it was easier to date when you didn’t have a child pulling for your attention and this would be a convenient truth for him to share.
Her parents wouldn’t react well, and neither would Megan or Danielle. They would all ask the same thing: why didn’t you trust me enough to tell me the truth?
June was a private person. She was shy and liked things orderly. Her life plan was supposed to be going to college and one day marrying Bennett.
When they broke up, her world shattered, and she found out she was pregnant. None of those things fit in her world. But along came Lincoln, and suddenly, everything made sense again. She reorganized her world and built herself back up.
June spent the rest of the afternoon pouring over message boards and mother’s groups of moms in similar situations all asking the same question: should I tell my child the man they’ve come to love and trust isn’t really their father?
The boards didn’t help. The answers seemed entirely split. Some said to wait until the child is older. Others said, “You’ll know when it’s right!” while others revealed horror stories of how they felt to find out their father growing up was not their biological parent. They spoke of ulcers caused by stress and parent-child relationships ruined by lies.
Maybe the middle group was right. Maybe June should just trust her mother’s intuition. It was this instinctive knowledge that had carried her through motherhood so far, telling her when Ember was sick even when nobody else saw the signs and understanding when she was stressed out or upset.
And right now, June’s intuition wanted her to tell the truth.
But before she could tell Ember, she would have to tell Bennett.
Chapter Fifteen
Bennett
Things were going great with Kennedy. True to Brooks form, her natural charm had already earned her a host of new friends at the ranch—not one of which his mother would disapprove of.
In the month his little sister had been recuperating at the ranch, she had taken to working with the horses and was training for the kids’ camp, teaching little ones to ride. She had also been out almost every night with her new friends. They’d gone out on a boat, had dinner in town, and he even heard rumblings of her going to a country dance hosted at a local barn.
Having Kennedy at the ranch also allowed Bennett to get closer to her. He was trying to build her confidence, and as far as he was concerned, it seemed to be working.
Kennedy also adored Ember, which made having dates with June a lot easier than he thought it was going to be.
That wasn’t to say they didn’t take Ember with them eight times out of ten, but he appreciated being able to connect with June on a different level when they were alone.
Today, he’d taken her down into the ranch’s local cave. It wasn’t a scary cave. Nobody had to be harnessed or dropped down into a narrow pit. It was hardly anxiety-inducing, but it sure was beautiful.
Bennett helped June down the stairs into the well-lit cave, flashlight in hand. He’d taken her late that night to ensure nobody else would be there.
The cave was big enough that they’d been able to put lights down there, which had helped make it a family friendly tour without any real danger of guests stumbling or falling into the unknown.
Bennett had been inside the Lamplight Cave more times than he could count, but he never got tired of seeing its natural beauty. The stalactite calcium cylinders hung from the roof of the limestone cave as though it were nature’s jaw, biting down to try and set its teeth against the stalagmite molars.
June marveled at the sparkling rocks that projected upward from the floor.
“This is amazing,” she said.
“Watch your head here,” he cautioned the deeper they got into the cave.
“I wonder how long this place has been here,” she mused.
“I don’t know. It’s weird to think about, right? Like, who was the first guy who wanted to rappel down into a pit of blackness?”
June giggled as they walked into the next room—Bennett’s favorite. It was a large clearing called the Queen’s Throne Room. There was a giant, throne-shaped stalactite jutting up from the ground that had been covered in the crystal that seemed to shimmer in the light. Ponds of impossibly turquoise water surrounded the throne and made the whole room sparkle.
“Isn’t this amazing?” he asked, practically breathless at the sight.
“It’s great,” she said with less enthusiasm than he had expected.
He thought June would have been more taken with the sight. He watched the ringlets of light bounce off the ceiling and against June’s face and down her red hair.
Something had been off about her all day. She was preoccupied, and even when they were engaged in conversation, she still seemed to be somewhere else.
�
�You okay?” he asked.
June shrugged. “Just a little distracted. Sorry.”
“Being fifty feet underground probably isn’t the place to get distracted,” he said with a wink.
“Luckily, I have a big strong cowboy here to rescue me,” she flirted.
Bennett put his hands around her waist and dipped her backward, kissing her Old-Hollywood style. She reciprocated with the softest, kindest kiss he had ever felt.
They continued exploring the room before moving into the next section of the cave, and June remained quiet.
“Anything you want to talk about?” he finally asked.
“I was texting Lincoln last night about Ember and…” she petered off. It seemed like she was ready to delve into a full-blown story, but eventually, she waved her hand and simplified, “Well, we got into a fight.”
“Does Ember know?”
“No,” she sighed, twirling in a circle as she looked up at the crystal ceiling of the next room. “All she knows is he isn’t there. He doesn’t want to be there anymore, and there’s nothing I can do or say to change his mind or make it better for her.” She shrugged helplessly. “She’s so little and she has to deal with all of these adult problems, whether she understands that now or not, and one day she’ll know what happened, and how do you tell your kid that their dad didn’t want to be around?”
Bennett nodded. “She’s a tough kid. Smart, too. She’ll be alright. You know why? Because she’s got a strong mom who would do anything for her. She’s lucky to have you, and she knows it.”
June smiled, but she hardly seemed convinced. She tilted her head to the side as if trying to decide something, then exhaled and spun around again.
“It’s so beautiful here,” she said. “I’ve never seen anything like this in the world.”
“And no tight squeezes,” he said.
June snapped her fingers playfully and agreed, “That also helps.”
“I told you I wouldn’t make you do anything scary,” he said, remembering her hesitation about going spelunking with him.
The walked around another water basin in the cave and took a moment to stare down into the many shades of blue. He grabbed her hand and ran his thumb over it gently.
“Things are different this time,” he said.
“Really different,” she agreed.
“I told you they would be.”
“Why do you think that is?” she asked.
“I think we needed those extra years to grow up. I needed to stop being so selfish,” he admitted. “And you? Well, you were pretty much perfect already, but now you have Ember, and she’s turned you into this patient, loving, risk-taking—”
June interrupted him with a laugh, throwing both of her hands up. “Whoa, whoa, whoa! Risk-taking? Do you think I’m a risk-taker?”
“You came out here with me, didn’t you?” he smiled. “You never would have done that before. I always knew I never wanted to be without you, but this time around just feels right. There’s me, there’s you, there’s Ember—”
Before he could finish his sentence, June began to cry. He flinched at the sudden show of emotion. He reached out for her hand, but she backed away.
“What? What’s wrong?” he asked.
She shook her head and covered her face with her hands, letting out a small sob. “I’m just scared,” she managed to say.
“Of...” he said, then paused and looked around the cave. She couldn’t possibly have been afraid of being underground. He walked back up to her and put a hand on her arm, rubbing it comfortingly. “Of you and me?”
“No,” she said.
He swallowed nervously, unsure why she was so upset. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
June took a steadying breath and stared down at her feet. He could see she was clenching her jaw, willing herself to stop crying. When she looked up at him, tears fell from her glassy eyes.
“I love you,” she said.
He brightened. “I love you, too.”
“No, Bennett,” she said, as though his words hadn’t counted. “I mean, I want to be with you. I want to wake up next to you. I want to come to Montana—no, not just come here. I want to move to Montana. I’m ready this time. I was so young before; I was so stupid. You believe me, right?”
“You...stupid?” he scoffed, pulling her into the safety of his arms. “I would never say that. I would say we both had a lot to figure out back then.”
She stiffened against him, rolling her eyes despite herself and sadly scoffing, “I was an idiot.”
Her tone unsettled him in a way he couldn’t describe. She didn’t sound like she was hypothetically afraid of their future together; she sounded like she had done something wrong.
“What’s going on?” he asked, tense.
“I see a future with you, Bennett. I know it’s fast, but I want to be with you. I want this to be my life, here on the ranch.”
He nodded, desperately wishing she would get to the part that was going to hurt him.
“I want that, too,” he said.
“Do you? Really? Because the fantasy of it is a lot different than reality. You’ve always wanted me to come here, but what if it doesn’t live up to your imagination? Plus, I have Ember now.”
He nodded. “June, that’s the best part,” he said. She blinked in surprise, taken aback by his words. “I love that kid; you know that, right? Me, you, Ember. We fit.”
“Stop,” she said, putting up a hand.
“What? I only meant that—”
June sighed and pressed her eyes closed. “Look, there’s something I have to tell you, and I don’t know how to tell you, but if I don’t do it soon, I feel like I’m going to explode.”
Bennett felt his body cascade with sharp, painful tingles. He racked his brain with thoughts of what it could be and briefly wondered if she wanted to reconcile with Lincoln, but no. She had just said Lincoln was out of the picture—that they fought recently.
When he saw the expression on her face, he knew it was serious. It was the same look he’d seen before when they first broke up. The look of nervous heartbreak just teetering on the edge of a precipice.
“The last place I wanted to have this conversation with you was in a cave,” she said, drawing her confession out in the most painful way possible.
“What?” he snapped. “Just tell me.”
“When we broke up before, I was really angry,” she said, her words slow and deliberate. “I was too proud to admit I’d blown it with you. I hated you for seeing someone else; I hated that you didn’t wait for me; I hated that you made me feel like it was all or nothing.”
He drew his brows together, unsure why she was choosing now of all times to start attacking him for who he was six years ago.
“It wasn’t working,” he said plainly. “You knew that.”
“I was proud,” she said firmly. “I didn’t want anything from you. I didn’t want closure. I didn’t want a second chance. The only way I could move on from you was to put everything behind me and make a clean break.”
“I get that. I did the same thing, June.”
The redhead pressed her eyes shut, hard, and blurted out, “Bennett, I was already pregnant.”
He froze. His mind went completely blank. He could tell June was waiting for him to react—to say something—but he wouldn’t dare respond until she met his eyes.
“When we broke up,” she repeated, as though he hadn’t heard what she had said, “I was already pregnant.”
She opened her eyes, shadows of gray boring into his soul. He clenched his jaw.
“Bennett, say something.”
“I’m...having a little bit of trouble processing this right now,” he said, forcing the words out. “You’re saying Ember is mine?”
She nodded, suddenly void of tears. “She’s yours.”
“What about Lincoln?”
He didn’t know why he asked it. He understood her perfectly—she was already pregnant when they broke up. Without a doubt
, Ember was his child.
“He…” she stammered, unsure what to say. “He loved me enough to play house.”
“He knew?” he asked, narrowing his eyes.
“Of course,” she said. “I never lied to him.”
No, Bennett thought. June didn’t lie to Lincoln, she lied to Bennett—the father.
“Who else knows?” he asked.
“Nobody,” she said softly. “Not my sister, not my parents—”
“Ember?” he interrupted.
“No,” she said, her tone firm.
“June, what the…” he tensed, his whole body filled with deep, overwhelming anger. He kicked at the rocks beneath his feet, cursing under his breath, then spun on his heel and turned back to June. “What were you thinking?” he demanded, suddenly inconceivably angry. “Why would you do this?”
“I tried to explain it. I was proud,” she said, shaking her head.
“You took her from me,” he said sharply.
Ember was his daughter, and she had taken that experience from him. Watching her come into the world, watching her grow up, picking her name. He hadn’t been a part of it, and though it was no fault of his own. He felt a pang of drowning guilt well up inside of him.
Tears fell from June’s eyes, landing on her cheeks like clear freckles. “I knew if you knew you’d...”
“What?” he snapped. “Make your move?”
“I knew you’d take me back, and I didn’t want your pity!” she shouted.
“It’s not pity; it’s my kid!” he yelled back.
“I know!” she cried. “I’m so sorry, Bennett.”
“You had no right to do that! I don’t care how much you hated me or what our life was like that the time; that was my little girl. I could have been there for her, June. I missed everything. What did you think? Did you think I would have bailed on you like your ex? No way. I wouldn’t have done that.”
“I was a kid,” she said.
He couldn’t believe she was trying to defend herself.
