by Alina Jacobs
He stopped and turned her to face him.
"So can we talk?"
"About what?" she asked.
Carter reached out and tucked a strand of her hair that had escaped her ponytail behind her ear.
"I don't know. Yesterday. Did it…did it mean anything? Does that mean you aren't leaving?"
She crossed her arms and turned her face out of the wind. "It's not that I don't care about you, but I have to keep my job options open. I'm not exactly in your family's good graces, and they have a lot of sway in New York City. I don't want to commit here and then have them pull the rug out from under me."
"That's a bullshit excuse, and you know it," Carter shot back.
"Is it? I mean, realistically, what do we have?" she asked, shaking him off.
"So that’s it?" Carter shouted, feeling hurt. He had thought that yesterday meant she wanted him. "You don't care about what we have? You're just going to leave?"
"Look," she said, "I'm dealing with a lot right now."
"And I'm not?"
"You have money and a family to fall back on. I have nothing!" she yelled. "I'm out here doing God knows what, not earning money, that’s for sure." She swept her hair out of her face. "I have no safety net if I fail. You don't understand, Carter, because you grew up rich and privileged. You don't understand what it means to have nothing and no one." She pushed past him and ran back to Liz's house.
Carter slumped his shoulders. "You have me," he said after Allie, but she didn't hear him.
Early that afternoon, he and his family headed off for the polo tournament. Fernando was playing, and he waved to them as the Holbrooks found a free area in the bleachers. In his blazer and long pants, Carter was sweltering. He dug into the picnic basket for something cold. His mother had made drinks, but they weren't as good as Allie's. He saw her a few rows down, sitting with the Davenports.
At the polo match, Stacy kept trying to sit next to him or touch him. Harris finally pulled her away to show her the horses. Carter breathed a sigh of relief and tried to relax the knots out of his shoulders.
"Suddenly Allie doesn't seem so bad," his father said dryly.
Carter smiled bitterly.
"How are things with you two, anyway?" Jack asked carefully.
"Well, you will be pleased to know that she and I are no more." Carter downed his drink and poured another.
"I'm sorry to hear that," Jack said.
"You’re such a terrible actor," Carter snapped at his father. "Stop pretending you feel bad for me."
"I don't want you to be hurt, Carter."
"Just say it! Say I told you so."
"I'm not saying anything about your life choices. You're an adult."
"I can't deal with you right now," Carter said, standing up and stalking away.
He stood to the side of the bleachers and watched Allie. She was wearing a flowing white dress with a big straw hat, and her hair was in a messy braid over her shoulder. He couldn't believe she had just dismissed him.
"Why aren't you with Allie?" his uncle asked him, coming up beside him.
"She doesn't want me," he said dejectedly. "She doesn't think we're meant to be together."
"And are you going to curl up and take it, or are you going to actually fight for what you want?" Walter asked Carter.
Carter opened his mouth to explain.
"Don't," Walter said, holding up a hand. "This is a decision you have to make. I'm leaving, by the way, so tell your mom. Grant's not doing well—Kate took him back to the house, and I don't really want to leave him alone with her just in case…"
Carter knew that PTSD could sometimes cause people to lash out. Grant would never willingly hurt Kate, but better safe than sorry.
Carter walked around the grounds and watched the match from the sidelines while sneaking glances at Allie. He probably needed to prove that he was worthy. She wanted someone competent, someone powerful—someone like Grant.
After the match, when Carter and his family arrived back at the cottage, the door was half open. Carter motioned his family back and slowly walked inside. A chair was smashed, and there was glass on the floor. Carter pulled out his knife as he heard someone walk in.
"Oh, Uncle Walter," Carter said as Walter came in carrying a broom.
He had a bruise on his cheek, and his shirt was ripped.
"Maybe we'll just go out for dinner," Nancy said after a moment as Carter grabbed the broom and started to clean up.
After sweeping and making sure Grant was calm, Carter and Kate met the rest of their family at the restaurant later that evening. His parents were already there with Stacy and Harris, who were both very tipsy. He could hear Stacy's shrieking laugh as soon as they entered the restaurant.
"Mr. Holbrook," the hostess greeted them.
"You're free to throw out my grandfather and his date," Carter said. "None of us here will be offended."
The hostess's eyes widened, and she said, "Oh no, it's perfectly fine. We have your table ready."
"We should order something for Grant and Walter," Nancy said.
Kate looked ashen faced. Carter ordered her a glass of wine and a scotch for good measure, and she sipped it gratefully.
"I haven't seen him this bad in a while," she said to Carter.
Grant didn't eat the food they brought back for him, and Carter sat with him until Walter told him to go to bed.
In the middle of the night, he felt hands crawl up his chest.
"Allie," he murmured.
"Baby," said a woman.
A weight settled on him, and something in his brain nagged at him to wake up. Margot barked, and Carter jolted awake. Blond hair and blue eyes stared back at him. He cursed and struggled out from under Stacy.
"What are you doing?" he hissed, pushing her hands off of him. "Stay away from me."
He stumbled downstairs, fuming mad. He let Margot outside and gulped in the cool night air.
"What the hell," he muttered as Margot sniffed the air, then he started heading down the path to the ocean, the dog picking her way through the sand behind him.
There was a figure standing at the water's edge.
"Grant, you're not supposed to be out here."
His cousin turned to look at him. He seemed eerily calm.
"I'm not going to cast myself in the water to drown," he said.
"Are you okay?"
"It was just the buildup to Memorial Day, I guess. I knew it was going to be terrible. I've been so stressed lately. And now here it is." He gestured to the stars. "I feel like they're mocking me."
"We brought you some dinner."
"I'm not hungry."
"You should eat," Carter said, feeling uncomfortable. Gus came bounding back over to Grant from the crabs he had been chasing and scratched around Grant's feet in the sand.
"You know," Grant said, "I was really jealous of you when I first came here. Walter adores you; you were clearly his favorite. I was jealous of your life, the ease at which things happened for you."
"It's not easy. I'm pretty useless," Carter mumbled.
"Who told you that?"
"Allie. Well," he amended, "not in so many words. But she had to work for everything she has, and someone just handed my life to me. You had to work for everything too. People respect that. Allie respects that. She wants someone like you, not like me."
"Is that why she's not here now?" Grant asked.
Carter nodded unhappily.
"I thought your father might have driven her off."
"I think that was also part of it," Carter said.
"I don't think she doesn't want you. It's hard when you're in survival mode. You don't feel human. You feel like a rodent, looking for the next safe spot to sleep and whatever bit of food or money you can scrounge up."
"But now she has a job and somewhere to live."
"It takes a while for that feeling of everything is about to crash down around me to leave you. We're handing out job offers in a couple months. Once she has
an offer and a solid career path, she'll probably feel better. Just don't ignore her. Contrary to popular belief, it's actually really hard to find a girl who is always in your corner. I was very lucky with Kate. I think you can be lucky with Allie."
49
Allie
It was hard to be in the city in summer, Allie thought. Her apartment didn't have air conditioning; it didn't even have a ceiling fan.
Then there was Carter. He was acting different, more responsible, more like a gentleman, she thought. He was proactive about working on their special internship project as well as the other work from their department that they were assigned. He took her out for lunch and insisted on paying, and he insisted on walking her to the Olive and Twist after work.
"I really like being around you when you're like this," she finally told Carter after several weeks of model behavior from him.
He grinned and kissed her outside of the bar.
"I'll see you tomorrow," he said. "Have fun at work! Don't sleep with your customers!"
She laughed and waved him off.
Things seemed as though they were looking up. The upcoming bachelorette weekend was going to be amazing, she decided, and even though she was still receiving threatening messages from Bryce, she was at least glad that he didn't seem to know her new address.
Except one morning, he was waiting outside of her apartment door as she opened it to go to the office. He slammed her back against the door and forced his way inside.
She struggled, but she was wearing her skirt suit and couldn't easily break free.
"You thought I wouldn't find you, didn't you?" he said as he pinned her against the refrigerator.
"What do you want?" she wheezed.
"I want to make you pay," he said. She could smell the stench of stale beer on his breath. "You ruined my family. There is nowhere you can go where I won't find you."
"Get out," she said, struggling against him.
He laughed at her, and she felt him force his hand under her skirt.
"Know that I am always watching you, you and that stupid Holbrook. You will pay, but I'm going to watch you squirm before that happens." He grabbed her hair and pressed his lips to hers. She tasted blood in her mouth where her lip had banged her teeth. Bryce smiled then turned and left, slamming the door behind him.
As soon as Bryce was gone, she ran to her door and locked it. Then she sank down to the floor. Allie felt as if she were in shock.
"Oh my God," she breathed and reached for her phone. She started to dial 911 then thought better of it.
"What if the Holbrooks fire me?" she whispered to herself. "What if it pushes Bryce too far and he actually hurts me?"
He hadn't actually done anything, and once the police figured out that he was her ex, they would probably only give him a stern talking-to. The situation could grow much worse—Bryce might actually kill her or Carter.
I'll just have to be more vigilant, she decided.
"Are we almost ready for the weekend?" Liz asked her the next day over lunch with Brandy.
"I want everything to be perfect," Brandy warned. "Especially since this isn't a whole week like I originally wanted. I seem to constantly be making compromises. But I won't compromise on the number of bridesmaids, and I do believe we are still short."
"Because no one wants to be her bridesmaid," Liz muttered to Allie.
"I didn't quite hear you, Liz," Brandy snarled.
"What about Carter's grandfather's girlfriend, Stacy?"
Allie choked. "I don't think—"
"Let me see a picture," Brandy said, holding out her hand.
Liz pulled up Stacy's Instagram feed.
"She's fine, I suppose," Brandy said after scrolling through the photos. "She'll have to do since you two couldn't find anyone else. This was a wonderful lunch, girls. Must run." She flounced off, leaving half of her salad untouched.
"Shall I box this for you?" the waiter asked.
"Sure."
"No," Liz said. "You don't want her cooties. You don't know where her mouth has been."
Allie hated to waste the food, but she wasn't sure if she really wanted to eat after Brandy.
She called Stacy on the way back to the office. Her ex-roommate was, of course, thrilled to be invited.
"Is Carter going to be there?"
"The guys are having their own bachelor party," Allie told her.
"Oh, pooh," Stacy said.
Allie could hear her pout over the phone.
"We're leaving tomorrow at lunch, so don't be late," Allie told her before she hung up.
"I hope you booked a big-enough plane," Carter said to Allie as they left work early for the bachelor and bachelorette weekend.
"We're taking separate planes," Allie told Carter as they sat down in the car. "I have one ordered for you already, but you need to pick up Mark and Finn."
"Try not to kill anyone, Grant!" Kate said cheerfully as she followed Allie and Liz into their plane.
Stacy bounced up and down when she saw them. The flight attendant had already given her a drink.
Brandy swept onto the plane, her sister, Ginny, at her heels.
Carter sent Allie a picture of him making a funny face at Grant, who glared into the camera.
Allie had made cocktails and snacks, which she helped the flight attendants pass out once they were in the air. Brandy was in the middle of a tirade about her wedding planner's incompetence, and everyone tried to ignore her. Everyone except for Stacy, who egged Brandy on, whipping her into a frenzy of complaints about the venue, the caterers, the wedding planner, her mother, and even Liz.
"Please let us survive this weekend," Allie said under her breath.
"Amen," Kate replied, clinking their glasses together.
50
Carter
Carter watched Allie's plane take off before theirs. The two planes stayed near each other in the air, then the guys' plane veered off toward North Carolina.
As they waited for Mark on the tarmac, Carter slumped in his seat on the plane.
"I can’t believe he was able to have leave approved for a bachelor weekend," Grant said.
"He didn’t take any time at Christmas," Carter replied, watching Eric make himself a drink.
"Still, it's several days."
"He’s a POG. They work in offices and are treated like corporate workers."
"Hello there!" Mark greeted them as he climbed the stairs and entered the plane.
"You made it!" Grant said then gave Mark a hug and handed him a drink.
"I hope you brought something to wear other than that," Carter said, gesturing to his uniform.
"I'm shocked you haven’t grown a beard and gained fifty pounds already," Mark shot back.
Carter grinned. "I have to keep myself up; I have to represent."
"Is that so?" Mark said. "It doesn’t have anything to do with a certain bartender?"
"I think Allie would cut his balls off if he turned into a typical retired veteran," Grant stated.
"You mean you aren’t going to start a stolen valor YouTube channel or launch a line of US Marine Corps-inspired T-shirts and so-called tactical gear conveniently imported from China?"
Carter laughed as another marine came into the plane behind Mark.
"Finn!" Carter yelled, throwing himself at his childhood friend.
Laughing, the dark-haired young man put Carter in a headlock.
"Take your seats, boys," Wendy, the flight attendant, said. "We’re going to Miami."
"So you were roped into this wedding as well?" Grant asked Finn.
"Yep. My only regret is having to go back to Connecticut. I know my parents will want to see me."
"They aren't off your case now that you have something productive to do?"
Carter snorted. "Like the Marine Corps is productive."
"Exactly," Finn replied, a sour look on his face. He stood up and went to the small bar and poured himself a drink.
"They're mad that they paid all that
money to adopt me and didn't get their money's worth."
"You can always come work at Holbrook," Grant said.
Finn grimaced. "I don't think I'm qualified."
"Carter's less qualified than you, and he's working there," Grant said.
"Oh yeah?"
"He's an intern," Mark corrected.
"If he's going to act like that this whole trip, I want off this plane!" Carter threatened.
"Calm down," Grant said. "Have a drink, Carter. Nothing wrong with an internship. You're having fun, aren't you?"
They continued the somewhat friendly bickering until they reached Miami.
After they landed, they spent over an hour in traffic, fighting to get to the marina where Fernando waited with his uncle's yacht.
"Wow!" Carter said with a whistle as they stood on the dock, looking at the enormous luxury vessel. "That is intense."
The five men took their bags out of the car and headed to the gangway.
"So what's the itinerary?" Mark asked.
"Um," Carter said.
"You planned this," Eric reminded him.
"You planned this?" Mark said incredulously.
He and Finn had changed out of their uniforms and were sporting brightly colored polo shirts and sunglasses.
"Shut up, Mark!" Carter said. He just wanted to punch his brother.
"Whoa, you two need to calm down," Grant said.
"Stop acting so high-and-mighty!" Carter yelled at his cousin.
"Hello, boys." Grant swung around as Jean-Claude walked up the gangway behind them.
"Hell no," Grant said flatly.
"The conquistadors. All lined up," the tall, thin European said with a smirk.
"Never mind," Grant said brusquely. "I think I have work I need to do." He started to stride back to the car.
"No!" Carter said, grunting as he tried to stop Grant. "Please don't leave me on the boat by myself."
"Can we all please act like adults?" Mark called after them.
Finn looked around in bemusement.
"I’m telling Kate if you leave!" Carter yelled. Grant stopped and turned around.
"Fine, but he'd"—Grant pointed to Jean-Claude—"better stay the hell away from me."
Fernando called to them from one of the upper decks, and they trudged into the boat. Carter let the very good-looking crew members take his bags and hand him a drink as the yacht pulled away from the marina and out into the open ocean.
