When she went into Laura’s room, she crossed the pink rug to the bed and leaned over. Laura turned suddenly and sat up.
“I thought you’d still be awake.”
“Oh Mummy, you know I need to read before I go to sleep. But Nanny said I couldn’t. I told her she was being a big fat bossy boots.”
Dawn swallowed a giggle. “You didn’t?”
Dawn saw a look of scorn passed over Laura’s face in the light from the hallway.
“Well I almost did. I said she was a bossy boots but I didn’t say the fat bit. Mummy… when’s she going home? I like her and everything but she’s not like you. She has different rules and ways of doing things and I don’t like them. I want it to be just the four of us again.”
Dawn brushed Laura’s hair from her cheek then sighed. “I know, angel, that’s how I like it too. Nanna’s just here to help for a few weeks until I feel better.”
“But you are all better aren’t you? And the baby is okay now.”
“Yes, I do feel much better. But it would be mean if we just told Nanna that and sent her packing.”
“Sent her packing?”
“Yes… on her way, back home.”
“Oh. Yes. Well let her stay a bit longer, but then send her packing.”
Dawn smiled. “Deal. But try to be nice and polite for now.”
“Mummy, can I read now, please?”
Dawn chewed her lip. If she said yes, she’d be going against what Fenella had told Laura to do but if she said no, Laura could well be awake when she came up to bed.
“For fifteen minutes. But no longer. Promise?”
“Pinky promise.” Laura nodded then switched on the lamp that was on her bedside table.
“And it’s our secret.”
“Of course, Mummy. Between you and me.” Laura tapped the side of her nose.
Dawn was still smiling when she reached the kitchen. Laura was so much like Rick with his mannerisms and vocabulary, yet also so much like her. Dawn remembered struggling to sleep in her youth and lying in bed with her mind racing about everything from politics to whether or not Take That would ever get back together.
“Something funny, Dawn? Do share, I could do with a laugh.” Fenella was sat at the breakfast bar with a steaming mug of tea.
“Oh, I was just thinking about how much I love the children.”
“They are lovely. And even if I do think they stay up too late, you and Rick have done a good job, I must admit.”
“Uh… thank you.” Here she went again, being such a contradictory and confusing character. One minute, Fenella was undermining her, the next she was building her up. Albeit as a veiled compliment.
“Did you text Rick?”
“I forgot. I’ll do it now.”
Dawn dug her mobile out of her trouser pocket and swiped the screen. It buzzed as a message popped up.
Staying in London tonight, Dawn. Late one working through, so no point coming home. Ring you in the morning. X
What?
Blood whooshed through her ears and her head spun. He was staying out all night. Granted, he’d done it before when he had an important meeting or a very early start but never at this short notice. Now she’d be left on her own with Fenella and she didn’t know where he was sleeping. Or who he was with.
“I’ve uh… I’ve got to do something a moment. I’ll be back shortly,” she said to her mother-in-law.
“But Dawn…”
She opened the back door and went into the garden before Fenella could argue. This just wasn’t on. What did Rick think he was playing at? She brought up her contacts list and scrolled down to Rick then pressed the call button.
When he answers, he’s going to get a mouthful.
As she listened to the phone ringing, her breaths came shaky and fast.
No, not a mouthful but a few strong words.
It kept on ringing.
Okay then, some questions.
Perhaps but…
His voice came on at the other end and she was about to say his name then realised she’d got his voicemail.
She waited until the recorded message finished then was besieged by doubts so she ended the call.
Should she leave him a message?
Yes, of course.
She dialled him again and waited for voicemail to kick in.
“Hi Rick, it’s me… Dawn… you know, your wife. Hope you’re okay. Could you ring me. Even if it’s late when you get this. I just want to hear your voice. Love you.”
She stared at the black screen, seeing her face reflected there: pale, large eyes wide, fear in her gaze.
“What did he say?” Fenella was peering out of the door.
“He’s not answering. But I left a message.”
“Cup of tea in here for you.”
“Thanks.”
As she followed Fenella inside, the last thing Dawn wanted to do was to sit and drink tea, but if she didn’t, she knew she’d go upstairs and cry. Although what comfort she’d get from the older woman, she didn’t know. But at least it would be distracting and hopefully stop her imagining that Rick might be out drinking with women, smart attractive women in tight dresses and high heels, the type who worked hard and partied hard, who lived without commitments. Women who were a bit like Camilla.
Women who might not mind if a man had a wife in a little country village because they didn’t want any commitment anyway.
She shook her head as if to shake the disturbing thoughts away, still holding her mobile tightly as she willed Rick to call. Just to put her mind at rest. If that were at all possible.
“So who is he staying with?” Fenella asked as she poured fresh tea from a teapot that Dawn didn’t recognise.
“I’m not sure.”
“You don’t know?” Fenella frowned. “Well I wouldn’t have that.”
“Look, I can hardly order him around can I? Besides, he didn’t answer so I’m helpless right now.”
The reality of the situation swept over her. “I can’t even have a stiff drink to try to calm my churning belly or to at least numb my nerves. I want to know where he is tonight. But I don’t have any idea…”
She glanced at Fenella and found that the older woman’s eyes were wide as she stared at her. Great. So now she seemed like a suspicious neurotic wife.
“Of course you do. I’m sorry, Dawn, that was unfair of me. You must be worried.”
Again, Dawn had to try to keep the surprise off her face.
“I am.”
Fenella pushed a mug of tea across the breakfast bar. “Drink this. It might help with your upset stomach.”
“Thank you.”
“You know… I’m quite annoyed at Rick.”
“You are?”
“He shouldn’t do this to you. I mean, you’ve just had a pregnancy scare. That’s why I’m here after all, and he’s decided to stay in London without warning you before hand.”
Dawn sipped her tea. She was a boiling pot of contradiction right now, torn between being angry at Rick herself and wanting to defend him from his own mother. And that was ridiculous as Fenella was actually being supportive.
“Why don’t you try to get some sleep and I’ll stay up for a bit. Just in case he rings.”
“But he’ll probably ring my mobile if he does call.”
“Well you can leave that with me if you like so it doesn’t disturb you… or take it upstairs…” Fenella smiled. “Because you probably won’t rest at all if it’s not right beside you.”
Dawn nodded.
“I guess I should try to get some rest.”
“You certainly should. Now take your tea up and get into bed. Perhaps have a read.”
“Thanks, I will.”
“Dawn?”
“Yes?”
“I am only here to help, you know. I’m sorry if I sometimes seem overbearing.”
“You’re not overbearing, Fenella.”
“Really?”
“Well… uh…”
F
enella nodded. “I know I can be. I just… when Rick called me, I was extremely worried about you and the baby but I was also grateful.”
“Grateful?”
“To feel needed. That’s why I wanted to help as much as I could and cleaning was one way I hoped to make myself useful. But afterwards, I realised that perhaps it was a bit out of order. After all, this is your home and there I was sticking my nose in. Paul did warn me before I left. He told me not to try to take over, as I can be quite overpowering when I do. He said I’d soon get my marching orders if I stuck my nose in too far and look at me… I’ve been doing exactly that.”
“No, Fenella, I’m really grateful. Honestly.”
“Thank you, Dawn. You’re too kind.” She sighed. “You know… oh it doesn’t matter.”
“No it does. Please go on.”
“Are you sure? I don’t really have anyone to talk to about these things and sometimes, it all builds up.”
“You can tell me, Fenella.”
“Thank you, dear. When Paul retired, I thought we were going to do all the things we’d planned years ago. We have National Trust membership and I was looking forward to visiting the places we’d admired for so long. He used to show me all these beautiful stately homes and castles on Instagram and we’d talk about how we’d visit them.”
“And it hasn’t happened?”
She shook her head. “He’s always still so busy and I don’t like to ask.”
“But you should, Fenella. You have a right to spend time with him too.”
“It’s like retiring gave him a new lease of life and it doesn’t involve me. I can’t play golf, I’m terrified of going out on that damned boat because I can’t swim very well and I’m not that good on social media, so I can’t even get involved with Wallace and Lulu’s Instagram page.”
“You could learn how to do that. If you like, I’ll show you.”
“I’d be very grateful for some lessons in that respect, Dawn.”
“No problem at all. But what will you do about Paul? You should be honest with him because perhaps he doesn’t even realise that he’s neglecting you.”
Fenella shrugged. “Perhaps I will. Or I’ll just get on with it, I guess. I’m good at that. My sons and their families don’t live close enough to visit every week, and Dawn, please don’t think that’s a criticism. My husband prefers sailing and golf to taking me around stately homes and castles. All I do have to enjoy is a slightly wicked crush on a TV character.”
Dawn smiled.
“You know, Fenella… It would really help us out if you could come to stay more regularly. Perhaps you could pick the children up from school once a week – I could speak to the head teacher and get your name on the trusted contacts list – and you could help me out with the baby. Even once a fortnight if it’s too far to drive on a weekly basis.”
Fenella nodded. “That’s very kind, Dawn. I promise that I won’t do any cleaning unless you ask me to do it.”
“That’s settled then.”
“Every other Thursday?”
“Whatever suits you.”
“Now go and get some rest, dear.”
“Thank you. Good night, Fenella.”
“Call if you need me.”
Upstairs, Dawn changed into her fluffy pyjamas then slipped under the quilt. A noise outside made her jump but she realised it was the wind. It had been breezy all day and the wind was now picking up. Perhaps the weather was changing and the Indian summer they’d talked about was on its way out.
She wondered what Rick was doing. Was he sleeping or engaged in conversation in some swanky London club? Was he poring over figures and offering advice, or was he laughing with some attractive woman who was pawing at his arm and fingering his tie as she hung on his every word…
Stop it!
This wouldn’t do anyone any good.
She picked up the top book off the pile on her bedside table – a psychological thriller that had been raved about recently – and opened it. But the words swam before her eyes and she tried to read the page four times before realising that this wasn’t going to work. Instead, she tried to think about her conversation with Fenella. It had been one of revelations and she hoped that their relationship would be stronger because of it. And that Fenella would feel needed, because she hated to think of anyone feeling lonely or left out. There was no need for that at all.
10
Dawn woke to a buzzing sound. She reached for her mobile then peered at the screen. It was six o’clock and she’d received an alert from the mobile network about cinema tickets. As if that would be her first concern on waking. She realised that she must have fallen asleep trying to meditate, as the lamp on her bedside table was still on. Exhaustion had obviously claimed her in spite of her reservations about being able to rest.
She sat up and propped the pillows up behind her then took a few deep breaths before looking at her mobile again. There were no missed calls and no text messages. Rick hadn’t tried to make contact at all.
Well she was not going to spend the day moping around. There was probably a perfectly good reason why her husband had not called her and she would have to give him the benefit of the doubt or go mad. Besides, all this stress wouldn’t be good for the baby.
She got up, showered, dressed then went downstairs. Fenella was in the kitchen making pancakes. Laura and James were sitting at the breakfast bar, fully dressed, tucking into pancakes covered in chopped banana.
“Good morning,” Dawn said as she kissed their heads.
“Morning, Mummy.”
“Hi, Mummy.”
“Morning, Dawn. Pancakes?”
“Uh… yes, please. I actually feel quite peckish.”
Fenella handed her a plate then loaded it with two pancakes and gestured at the bottle of maple syrup. “You want that, bananas or both?”
“Banana will be fine, thanks.”
Fenella nodded then chopped up a banana into a bowl and passed it to Dawn.
“Thank you.” Dawn smiled at her mother-in-law and saw warmth in the older woman’s eyes. It lifted her own spirits and she wondered if it was usually there, and if she failed to see it because she had a version of Fenella in her head and that version hadn’t been warm and kind. Until now.
“I was thinking that I can drop the children off at school this morning then go shopping for you. Do you want to write a list?”
Dawn swallowed the banana she’d been chewing.
“That’s really kind of you, thank you.”
“I’ll do that then when I come back, I’ll pack my things.”
“What?”
“Well it’s probably time for me to be going, Dawn. Give you some space to sort things out here.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
Fenella nodded. “I do. You’re better now and if you need me again, you just ring and I’ll come straight back. But you and your family need some time alone to prepare for the little one.”
“But who will make me pancakes, Nanna?” James asked.
“I’ll make extra then freeze them, so all your mum needs to do is heat them up in the mornings. How does that sound?”
“Like a good plan.”
Dawn smiled at her son. He was so easily bought with food.
“Nanna is going to visit more often now, so she’ll be able to make you pancakes when she comes.”
“Are you, Nanna?”
Fenella nodded. “Whenever your mummy needs me.”
Laura was chewing absently, silently, her eyes focused on something in the garden.
“Laura, what’s up?”
“Nothing.”
“Are you sure?”
“I just need to check on Lulu and Wallace before school, so I’m trying to eat my breakfast quickly.”
“Good idea.”
When they’d finished eating, the children went outside and Dawn helped Fenella to tidy the kitchen.
“Thank you.”
“What for?”
“Wel
l, for being understanding.”
“I might seem like a pompous old bag at times but I do mean well, you know.” Fenella shook the cloth she’d used to wipe the cooker top over the sink then rinsed it.
“You’re not a pompous old bag.”
Fenella chuckled.
“We all go through trials in life, Dawn, and marriage certainly isn’t easy. I do hope that you and Rick manage to sort this out but even if you don’t, I hope you’ll be happy. Life is so short.”
She placed a hand on Dawn’s shoulder. “You’re a good mum and a loving wife. You deserve to be treated well. Make sure you’re honest with Rick. Do not let him off the hook.”
Dawn inclined her head.
“Same goes for you with Paul.”
“Unfortunately, I’m not very good at practising what I preach.” Fenella pressed her lips together.
“Mummy!
James ran into the kitchen.
“No, I want to say!” Laura pushed past him and stood in front of Dawn panting.
“What is it?” Dawn scanned her children’s red faces, met their shining eyes.
“It’s Wallace.”
Oh no… not again… The new one couldn’t possibly have died too.
“What’s wrong with Wallace?” Dawn steeled herself.
“Come and see!” James grabbed her hand and pulled her outside.
In the garden, Laura knelt in front of the hutch then slowly opened the door to the sleeping compartment. Dawn noticed that her daughter had put Lulu into the garden run. She steeled herself, preparing to see a stiff little body, but instead, Wallace was there, eyes wide and nose twitching as he spotted his owners.
“Wallace is a mummy!” James shouted.
Dawn stared in shock at the straw.
From behind her, Fenella laughed. “How on earth did that happen? Wallace is a boy isn’t he? And even if he wasn’t… You only have one guinea pig don’t you?”
“Yes.” Dawn turned to meet her mother-in-law’s eyes then she winked at her. “I’ll explain later.”
A Year at The Cosy Cottage Café: A heart-warming feel-good read about life, love, loss, friendship and second chances Page 19
