I shook my head, but she touched my cheek with her small hand and said, “Then let me show you.”
And then I was there, in an instant, invited to Persephone’s childhood. We were in a garden outside of a room made of stone. Persephone was trying but losing a fight with a goddess who could be none other than Demeter. Ah, so Alec had not gotten all his height from his father. Demeter was a powerful deity with brown hair and eyes like Alec’s, and she was not quite as tall as him, but easily as tall as I am. She had sly, cat-like features, and I could see where Alec got that from as well.
When Persephone tried to flee, her mother lifted a hand and the plants rose up beneath her and bound her wrists.
Such a familiar sight for me, that I rubbed a spot on my arm, and my stomach dipped.
Persephone screamed, but her mother ignored her cries, leaving her there, tied and all alone.
I followed Demeter to the edge of a forest. She was powerfully walking towards a place where there stood a stag the size of no real stag that I’d ever seen. “You cannot have her,” Demeter said, shouting in a rage so that the trees shook around her. “You or any of them like you. The prophecy has been fulfilled! One of my children, gone to the underworld. I shall not lose another.” Tears filled her eyes as the golden stag merely pawed the ground and snorted, shaking its mighty rack before bounding away.
Demeter cut her palm and stuffed her hand into the dirt. A thorny bush appeared and then started to grow and grow and grow. The vines twisted around everything in sight until they surrounded the place where Persephone was kept. I heard her calling for her mother, but Demeter did not answer.
Time moved forward and I knew that Persephone was kept there during it all. Demeter met with the stag every few human years, it seemed, and each time she told him no and built the evil vines higher and higher.
Finally, Persephone pleaded with her mother to be allowed to go into the fields where others gathered wheat. She would return at the end of the day. Her mother agreed, and when Persephone was gone, I saw the stag appear before Persephone.
She walked with the stag, her hand on its withers, and together they went down the road and into the wheat. After her day was through, the stag lead her to a stream, and there Persephone slept curled next to his warm hide.
“Zeus,” I whispered, knowingly, a sharp chill moving across me.
I withdrew from Persephone, fear clutching my heart.
We were back in my rooms, and I knew without her speaking what had happened. “Did he…”
Persephone nodded, tears in her eyes.
“When he first changed into a young man, I was so naive that I didn’t know not to trust him. He was…kind and beautiful. I’d never met any other god, and did not recognize him. And then even afterwards, even terrified, I kept my dark secret and made my mother let me return anyway for fear that she would never let me free if she found out.” Her gaze was distant and empty. "Also, I knew it would mean war. Instead, I returned to the wheat as if nothing occurred. I felt as if I needed to pretend. If I acted like it never happened maybe it didn’t. You understand?”
I nodded, my stomach twisting. My eyes burned.
“But Zeus bragged to his brother about me.” She held hands to cheeks to cool the shame from them and I wanted to pull her into my arms, but could tell that she would perhaps crack from the pity. “Hades knew that his brother was not quite through with me either. That he would return. He came for me, and at first, I thought he meant to do the same as his brother. It took a long time for me to trust him. He meant to protect me.”
“Your mother mentioned a prophecy,” I said.
“Trying to defeat the Fates, she gave Alec to the underworld, to Hades, when he was very young. She figured that if one of her children was meant to be there, why not the boy? She had also seen that she would have one of each and the girl was most likely to spend her eternity by her side whereas boys long for war and to rule and conquer.”
“But you left her after all.”
“And my mother blamed Alec.”
“What? Why?”
Persephone grabbed my hand and I saw Alec in the orchards handing her pomegranate seeds. “Eat these. Mother cannot make you go. If you are sure?”
Persephone said, “I am sure,” and ate the seeds.
I pulled back and this time I stood. It was all so much to take in. I was confused. “Why did you show me this?” I said after a moment.
“Because not all of us are on Zeus’ side. But we have to be careful. You must understand that war with him would be devastating for everyone.” Her hand hovered over her middle and her gaze filled with meaning. “Freya, we are not your enemy.”
Persephone was with child.
“Does Alec know?”
She nodded. “Only him. Hades, of course. And now you.”
“Oh.” I glanced around, wondering what that would change for a goddess. What impossible thing it would mean for me, even, to perhaps some day… “I’d like to talk to Alec now,” was all I said, and she nodded. “I have questions that only he can answer.”
She waved a hand and the owl appeared.
Persephone left us. It was just me and the owl when I said, “Can I watch you change?” If an owl could nod, he did.
A swirl of black and then Alec stood there instead. It took my breath away.
He wasted no time with our old fights and neither did I. I raced forward and into his arms and he held me as I cried. “I’m so afraid,” I whispered, and his grip tightened.
“Me too,” he said quietly, and we stayed like that as the questions fell from my mind and I simply closed my eyes and felt safe. “Forgive me,” he said.
"Of course,” I murmured breathing deeply, loving the human smell of this god.
Only he could smell of leather and smoke. Only he could remind me of mortal things, and it be calming. Because the gods were awful. They were evil. Zeus, worst of all.
And he was trying to have me murdered.
I glanced outside and it was snowing.
“What…” I drew away and Alec turned, and then he touched my hands.
“Your skin is like ice, Freya,” he said. “The weather.” We moved outside and caught snowflakes in our palms. “I think it’s from you.”
Chapter 17
I searched for my sister, and her tears were as jewels at my feet. Proof of her love could only make me stronger. The snow fell in earnest as I held her sobbing body, but I did not cry. The last of my time would not be spent only on sorrow. I had her. I had Alec. I had those who cared about me even if they did not love me. The king might call me friend, but he’d held me far closer. And though I would perhaps beg on the cliffs for my life, I found peace in knowing that someone was waiting for me to return.
Despite that I might never.
That Cenia finally knew what it was like to imagine me lost as often as I had done so many times for her was enough.
That I could gaze into knowing green eyes that had the power to render me thoughtless until my final moments. It was truly more than enough.
I finally let her go, Milos took her from me, his eyes carefully averted.
Cenia brought to mind a concern I had. I wanted to ask Alec to care for her, to be there for her, and I knew I’d find him pacing in his throne room.
However, he wasn’t alone, and I paused at the threshold when I heard the lyrical tones of Aphrodite in a hushed and pleading pace. “I know you care for her; I know you’ve felt something since the very beginning. But what will become of you when you continue down this path?” She cut a hand through the air. “What of your people? All that you have built?”
“From the very beginning…?” he scoffed, and I crowded into the shadows.
Pain radiated from my middle, but still I would not leave.
Alec turned from her, with a furrow pressing his dark brows low. “She was my enemy, Aphrodite. While that may have…changed. Please do not try to convince me that I was besotted with the daughter of the monster who put
me in that hole. You know what I went through. This is not indulgence.”
She ran around to the front of him. “Don’t you think I know that?” she hissed. “Indulgence! You’ve cast aside many women. Yes, Alec, women. Don’t think it hasn’t hurt seeing you cavort with mere mortals when I’ve always been here. Right here. Haven’t I? I’ve come to stay so often waiting for the day that…” Sighing, she pressed her fingers to her head. “Beautiful, but finite women. It has always pained me to watch as you dim your power for them. So that you won’t hurt them like you did me.” She reached for him but stopped when he stiffened. “But now…Alec. This…this is something else.”
He laughed, but it was without humor. “This is right is what it is. Even if you were correct about what I feel, it matters little, she has erred in no way and Zeus is after her purely based on her heritage. How can I leave her to the wolves? I of all people should know what it is to be judged for things out of your control. What I’ve done to you—” He cut off. “It would be the titan-blood today, tomorrow, it might be you or anyone. I can’t bear to leave her to a fate worse than death now.”
“So,” she said, crossing her arms, but though her jaw was tilted, her eyes were soft. “This has nothing to do with you falling for—”
“Aphrodite,” he warned.
“Your ward,” she finished. “It’s not because you crave her? Desire her?"
“Don’t.” More quietly he said, “It is as I have said it is and nothing more.” He grabbed her wrists, but she shrugged free, coming closer, her heart in her eyes.
"Oh, Alec," she said sadly. "You know better than to think the gods are at liberty to be indifferent." She touched his cheek, but I was the one who flinched. Alec stayed steadily under hand, a sharp yearning beneath his heavy-lidded gaze as he covered that beautiful touch gently with his own. I was an open wound, but how could I hate their moment? How could I begrudge them this one thing? Aphrodite's eyes glowed golden, and her power warmed the room. "Ουκ εστί πόλεμος, αγαπάν εστί," she whispered in the ancient language like a prayer. 'All that isn't war is love,' she had said and who could deny the truth of it?
But…love? Alec couldn’t---wouldn’t…we were—are enemies.
I knew what sliced me open now. Hope.
“And would that be the end of everything?” Alec said dryly, and my heart fluttered. “Would that damn me in your eyes?”
Tears bled gold from her eyes in tracks down her cheeks, and Alec finally caved, pulling her into his arms. “Would that I could go back, Aphrodite,” he murmured. “If I could erase my time of punishment and even further to when I hurt you.”
“You loved me,” she said as if to assure herself
“I do love you.”
I swallowed….praying to every titan I knew to think of…let there be one but…one although…
“But,” Alec said, and I breathed again. “But, I cannot…we cannot undo what happened and it’s changed us both. Even with all of our power we are nearly mortal in the wheel of time. It goes forward and so do we.”
She stepped free and wiped her eyes. “I love you the same,” she said. “Then. Today. Tomorrow, Ascalaphus. What kind of goddess of love am I if you cannot return it in the same way?”
His mouth quirked, and he took a deep breath. “You are the most beautiful thing on earth to me, Aphrodite. Especially because while you know that perhaps Freya has taken something from you, I know with everything in my heart, that you will not turn your wrath upon her.”
“I will not.”
He nodded like he knew and lifted her chin with a finger. “And that makes you the goddess of love once more. The sacrificial perfection that humans need. I will pray that you find the love that you seek.”
“You will pray…? To me…?”
“I will.”
She smiled softly and nodded, and I had renewed respect for another Olympian.
Alec stepped from the room and I entered.
“Did you know I was here?” I asked, sensing that she did.
“Of course.” She took extra care fixing her perfect cloud-like hair.
“And you wanted me to hear this. Why?”
Aphrodite laughed. “Because I am the goddess of love and I am doing my job.”
I gaped at her. The golden tears shimmered beautifully in her perfect eyes. I grabbed her hands, and meant it when I said, “Thank you.”
She touched my cheek. “Freya, I’ve watched you with your sister. You have a kind heart. Alec, even if he does not love me the way I’d hoped, he deserves kindness and…I think you do as well.”
“Are you ready?” Charon asked from the door, and I sighed then turned and said I was, but then glanced back one final time at Aphrodite. “Will you take care of Cenia for me? I mean if…I should…fall.”
I had met terrible gods. I had yet to meet the most terrible. But Aphrodite made me feel the hope again that I had been searching for. That even through the hatred, someone could be good.
“She will be cared for,” the goddess promised.
“Then,” I said to Charon. “I am truly ready now.”
Charon promised he’d travel with me to the cliffs. He made Alec promise not to come. “You will only try to insert yourself. I know better.”
Alec wasn’t that easily deterred. Speaking to everyone in his “alliance” as I’d come to think of it, he demanded that they try for a solution. Heracles had offered war. And the God of War himself, Ares, had talked him down. Milos had sat thoughtfully, his heart in his eyes, and then offered to take me on his ship and damn the brothers if they came for us…
But Zeus would sink it with a single lightning bolt, I knew.
“Unless Poseidon gets to you first,” Alec had said. “You think he’s not waiting at the edge of the island for us to try to run? I’ve thought of it, of course.” His green eyes hooked to mine and I felt my heart grow, even though I tried to shut off the feelings. “I’ve thought of trying to run everywhere outside of the underworld, but there is nowhere to hide. Nowhere under the sun where we won’t be discovered.”
I had been furious with him, of course, but something had shifted between us and hatred boiled into other things with our tempest of emotions. I had enemies much larger than my king and as they stood on my doorstep to bring me down, here he was by my side. The son of Demeter and Acheron, one who should hate me above all, one who my family had slighted, standing as a dark shield between them and me. He’d strapped on his sword and dressed for battle before pacing in thought of what to do. Desperately he was trying to save me, and my hard heart chipped off bit by bit.
I would catch him staring at me in ways I didn’t know were possible for an immortal. So utterly human. It broke me.
I didn’t want to leave, but I had no choice.
Charon spoke to me without Alec hearing. Like Hades could, Charon pushed his voice inside my head. “You realize that you must make certain that Alec does not follow you. That he does not try to stop judgement. His fate is worse than yours if he does.”
“Yes,” I hissed back.
This was merely a distraction from the inevitable. Charon would whisk me away soon and time was counting down no matter what they did.
I was a coward, but not simple-minded. I would never risk Alec’s life. I had plans of my own.
Charon was my friend. He would not lie to me. But I hated his truth even so.
The room quieted as Hermes entered. “You think to plot your way out of this?” he said with a dazzling smile, though the underworld had not yet left his sallow skin. He was gaunt, his eyes sunken, with red marks on his arms and neck. He’d been abused there. He locked eyes with Alec. “Even you know Hades will be forced to respond to your meddling. Zeus will demand that you, your people, your entire island be destroyed if you decide to disobey.”
Milos shook with rage, but Alec was still. As I was still. Together, still and cold in our anger like two parts made into one wall of wrath.
“Why have you let this messe
nger return!?” Milos demanded, his power, finally, a thing I had not seen yet, raising his long red hair from his back in waves like water. “Why not banish him forever, brother? He cannot come to your island unless you will it.” His words scraped on me until I stood on edge. Scales erupted over Milos’ skin, turning him green and bright.
He was magnificent. I would guess his mother a siren.
I wondered what his voice could do to us all.
Alec’s jaw was tight but otherwise he appeared unchanged. He put his hands behind his back and walked until he was an inch away from Hermes and a few inches taller. His eyes flicked up and down dismissively. “Why would I want him to leave?” His voice was as flat as the sand beaten down by the waves on his shore. “Perhaps instead, Hermes would like to stay on our islands.”
Hermes’ face twisted with anger. “Why would I stay here? This gods forsaken place stinks of humans and titans.” His gaze flicked to mine and held.
Alec moved a step to the side so that it blocked the messenger’s view. “I meant,” Alec said, “perhaps you’d like to remain here, forever.”
Hermes stepped back, his eyes widening.
But I was somehow between them. I didn’t even remember walking over, and I certainly didn’t remember placing a hand on Alec to calm him, while the other was turning a chilly blue.
I faced Hermes, with Alec at my back. “Leave now before you cost us more pain than you already have.”
Hermes reacted as if I’d slapped him. His spine stiffened and his eyes flared. “How dare you command me? You are nothing. And after the cliffs, your name will be forgotten.”
Coldness coiled within me, not unlike Alec’s snake, only it was sharp at its ends. My eyes, I knew, would be blue now, my hair frosty white with the chips of cold erupting out from within my scalp. A windy sound rose, and it took me a moment to realize it was from my own nostrils. And when I opened my mouth the room filled with a howl that I’d only heard before in a dark storm that had come too swiftly to avoid on my father’s island. It had cracked our main room right down the middle before it was through.
Beware the Fallen: Young Adult Mythology (Banished Divinity Book 1) Page 19
