by Riley Storm
“Yes, Amber?” he said, leaning forward, until she could practically feel heat pulsing off his body.
“Why does everyone assume I’m going to become evil? I’ve never heard of magic before today. I’m not some kind of colossal bitch who wants to destroy the world. I just want to be a part of it.”
Kasperi looked away. “Magic…corrupts,” he said heavily. “When used improperly, or in ways that bring harm to those who don’t deserve it. With training, you can prevent that, but without, it will inhabit your mind, altering your ability to think rationally, morally. It will confuse the choice between right and wrong.”
“Oh,” she said, listening in horror as he pronounced judgment upon her.
“That training, to focus your mind, to harden it against the call of magic, is usually taught to kids from a young age. They practice forever, before their power even manifests itself. You, you haven’t had that benefit. Your mind is open. Vulnerable. Possibly even twisted already.”
“Gee thanks for the support.”
“I’m just being realistic,” he countered. “As you should too. Who knows how your mind has been altered, what decisions you might consider normal or acceptable, that aren’t? That’s how it turns people into monsters. It’s why the others are all afraid of you.”
Amber buried her face in her hands as memories of every outburst of the power within her came bubbling back to the surface in a twisted highlight reel. She tried thinking about them, justifying her actions, wondering which one lit the spark of her demise. Where had she gone wrong?
She knew what Kasperi was talking about, however, the corruption of it, the call. It was there, deep in her, held back by the collar, but present nonetheless. The blackness, the impenetrable perfect dark. She’d felt it before, but it was growing stronger. In the biker bar, she’d almost fallen into it. But she hadn’t.
Can I still be saved? Have I held out so far? Or am I already too far beyond redemption?
“I don’t want to hurt people,” she whispered, looking up into eyes that stared back at her with an impassive green. “Please, Kasperi, you have to believe me. I don’t want to become a monster.”
The big man’s features softened, and he reached across the table, taking her hand in his. Instinctively, she tried to pull back, but he was ready for it. Her hand barely moved. Kasperi didn’t let go, he held on tight, his grip impossibly strong.
And yet, somewhat soothing. The simple touch, of skin to skin, gave more reassurance to her than any words he could have spoken. Someone wasn’t afraid to touch her. To come near her. That was the promise he gave her just now. She wasn’t evil. Not yet. Only when he refused to come close like this would she know she’d fallen too far.
“Kasperi,” she said, taking a moment to compose herself. “I have another question for you.”
“Ask.”
“Who the hell are you? Where the hell am I, and what the hell are all you people?”
8
He laughed. Perhaps it wasn’t the most diplomatic thing to do, but he couldn’t help it. Here they were, talking about magic and evil and terrible things, and she was able to take that all in, and then want to know more.
“What’s so funny?” she asked, sitting back, finally taking her hand back and crossing her arms defensively.
“Sorry.” He shook his head, wiping the smile off his face as he did. “It’s just that I admire you.”
“Come again?” she asked in disbelief.
“All that I’ve just told you. The world-shaking news you’re forced to accept. None of that stops you wanting to know more. It’s impressive. You don’t shy away from anything.”
Amber smiled, revealing just a hint of her teeth. “As a waitress, you learn not to care about that sort of stuff, and you learn fast. I don’t want to tell you how many conversations I’ve had to interrupt, embarrassing things I’ve overheard, people that have made fools of themselves.”
She dropped her arms, relaxing as it became clear Kasperi wasn’t laughing at her. “I’ve been insulted, complimented, hit on, touched, droned on to, etc., etc. I’ve seen serial cheaters, politicians and movie stars with harems of women. Or men, in some cases. I know the girlfriends of people as well as I knew their wives and had to keep track of which one they were with.”
It was Kasperi’s turn to lean back, listening to her, drinking in every word she said, learning everything he could about her, about who Amber was as a person. He wanted to know. Needed to know. His curiosity about her seemed never-ending, though he still couldn’t explain it. Maybe she was just different than everyone he’d met before; he didn’t really know.
“You deal with all that, you learn to tackle things head on,” she said. “Besides, everyone already wants me dead, Kasperi. How much worse could it get?”
His smile faded instantly. “They could get what they want.”
She shrugged carelessly. “Honestly?”
“Honestly,” he echoed, sensing she wanted to say more.
“I’ve been dead to the world for thirteen, fourteen months now. Never a part of it. On the outside, looking in. Nobody knew me. With what’s inside me, I don’t really feel comfortable amongst most of it anyway. Certainly not anymore, now that I know the truth. You put all that together and deal with it for so long, you kind of come to accept you probably won’t be living much longer. I figured it was either death, or I’d finally get locked up in a psychiatric institute. Either way, not much of a life. Now I just know which option it’s going to be.”
She tried to smile through it, but Kasperi easily picked up the tremor of fear in her voice. Amber was trying to be tough, but she didn’t want to die. It was obvious to anyone who took a moment to talk to her. It didn’t take stumbling over her in a snowbank in the dead of one of the longest days of winter to know that much.
Still, whether she was fearful of it or not, her voice rang with nothing but truth. Amber was resigned to dying, and soon. Perhaps sooner, now that she was starting to understand just what was going on around her.
He wished he knew how long she’d been fighting this battle. How long since her power started making her question her sanity? How long since the growing pressure of it had become uncontainable and she’d started lashing out? It usually started well before anyone ever accepted.
Asking her wouldn’t do any good, however, because she just wasn’t ready to open up. The hurt was still too raw, too fresh. Time was what she needed, and time was what he had bought her, by bringing her here, and forcing the Magi to act. Perhaps he could buy enough to learn, but that was still unclear.
Then there’s the fact she obviously despises you still. She’s doing a very good job of keeping that in check, because you’ve been on her side, but she knows she’s your prisoner, essentially—that she’s not here by invitation, but by force. That’s going to put a huge block between the two of you. Remember that.
“Come on,” he said, standing up, snagging the last handful of fries and munching on them happily as he waited.
“What? Where are we going now?”
“Outside. For a walk.” He crooked his fingers at her, beckoning her to join.
“Shouldn’t you pay?” she asked around the remnants of her own fries as she wolfed them down.
“It’s not a restaurant,” he said, smiling as the inner server showed through. “Come on.”
“Are you sure we have to go outside?” she asked hesitantly, joining him as he strolled toward the back of the restaurant and the double doors leading out to where the patio would be set up come springtime.
“Why not?”
“Well…” she looked around nervously. “Won’t people think I’m, you know, trying to escape?”
Kasperi shrugged. “No. Not if I’m with you. Just don’t knock me unconscious and take off. Then they probably will think you’re trying to escape.”
She shivered, not from the temperature, but from fear. “Will they unleash the hounds?”
“The what?”
“You
know, unleash the hounds,” she said menacingly, steepling her fingers in front of her in an attempt to look evil.
Kasperi chuckled. “No, not hounds, precisely. But trust me, trying to escape would be a bad idea to try on your own.”
Amber looked at him expectantly, but he didn’t want to give her any spoilers, so he remained silent. “Fine, keep your secrets,” she said somewhat crossly. “But why outdoors?”
“Uh, mainly because what’s about to happen next is impolite to do indoors.”
Amber paused as they stood at the doors, turning to look at him. “Excuse me?”
“What?”
“I’d just like to point out, that just because you kidnapped me—against my will I might add—and then brought me to this…palace, or whatever the hell it is, it doesn’t mean I trust you.” She crossed her arms again. “And it certainly does not mean I’ve suddenly fallen in love with you.”
Kasperi gaped, surprised by the sudden tiredness, unable to come up with a response to her biting sarcasm.
“Prince Charming you are not, even if you have the muscles and the—the classic good looks!” she exclaimed, suddenly a little flustered.
Suddenly cluing in to how she’d interpreted his words, Kasperi chuckled. “Done? Good. You wanted answers. The easiest way is to show you, otherwise you’ll just claim, like the magic, that it’s not real.”
Amber fell silent. “Pardon?”
Pushing open the door, they exited outside onto the patio. The sky was dark, and only the spotlights around the edge of the Manor provided any light. Next to him, Amber shivered. He cursed, forgetting she was still not properly dressed. Immediately, he pulled off his sweater and gave it to her, so she could double up her layers.
“Are you not freezing?” she asked, but she didn’t offer to give him the sweater back, immediately putting it on over the one she already wore. Due to the size difference, his fit more like a poncho on her, hanging well past her waist to her knees. It was comical, but he didn’t laugh.
“No.”
“Right. Is this some sort of attempt to impress me? Act all macho without a shirt in the freezing cold?”
“Not even close.”
She kicked at the snow, covering the boots she’d been given upon arrival at Ursidae Manor. Evil mage or not, they treated guests properly until it was time to kill them. The Ursa had “manners”.
“What, then?”
Kasperi smiled wider. “I just don’t feel the cold like you do.”
Amber frowned. “That’s like, the first sign of frostbite is a lack of feeling. It’s not a good thing. You should probably see a doctor about that, you know.”
They’d wandered away from the restaurant by now, following a shoveled path through the thick snow that wandered around the perimeter of the House. Kasperi paused, looking around. It was fairly private.
This will do.
“Okay, turn around.”
“Why?”
Kasperi shrugged and reached for his belt. “Because otherwise, you’re going to see me naked. I’m just letting you know, instead of springing it on you.”
Amber’s mouth froze open as she stared up at him, eyelids lowering, then slowly rising, followed by her eyebrows as he undid his belt, then the button of his jeans.
“You’re serious, aren’t you?” she said.
He nodded.
“Unbelievable,” she muttered, starting to turn around. “And they call me the crazy one. Tell me something, Kasperi.”
“What’s that?” he asked, stripping off his jeans and boots, putting them in a pile.
“Why are you getting naked? I really am not in the mood for dick right now. And this is not the way to get me there. I’m not going to sleep with you. Like, ever. Get that through both heads, okay? Before the cold gets to them and shrinks your, uh, brain.”
He smiled, holding back the laugh, not wanting to give her the satisfaction. “I’m getting naked,” he said, answering her question. “Because it keeps costs down.” He tossed his boxers into the pile as well.
“I’m sorry, it does what now? How does it keep costs down? Wouldn’t it just result in more medical costs? That stuff’s expensive, just so you know.”
“No. But every time I shift, it ruins clothing,” he said, stretching up tall, letting his muscles pull loose and joints pop.
“Shifts? What, like a manual transmission?”
He did chuckle this time. “No. My body.” And he started to shift, letting the transition come over him.
Even as he did, Amber spun back around, her intrigue overcoming the fact he was completely nude. The only thing was, with no warning, she caught sight of him halfway through his transition, a grotesque half-man, half-bear-like beast that towered above her more than before.
Her mouth opened in a silent scream. A second later, she broke out into a run.
Kasperi waited for the light brown fur to finish covering his body and the last changes to his joints to settle in before taking up pursuit as she ran along the shoveled walkway. The change itself took several seconds, and during it, moving wasn’t the easiest of things. Amber had opened a large gap between them, but he quickly caught up to her.
That was when she looked over her shoulder and saw his massive, oversized bear form chasing after her. Just like that, her legs found an extra gear and the tiny female started to run even faster.
Good work, Kasperi. She probably thinks you’re coming to eat her.
He got bored, raced past her, blocked the path and did his best irritated sigh, shaking his head, then focusing on her with the best human expressions he could bring to the gigantic four-legged form that lived inside him.
“Stop her!”
“She’s trying to escape!”
His head whipped around to see two Asps come charging up from behind. Had they been following Amber? Angrily, Kasperi quickly put himself between her and the newcomers, hoping she would have the good graces not to run again. He passed by her so close, he could hear the panicked breaths as she tried to gain control.
One of the Asps went for something in his jacket as Kasperi came closer. In response, he reached down, grabbed a chunk of hardened snow, digging it up with his claws, and flung it at the man. The half-ice ball slammed into his face, clobbering the Asp. The shifter went down, hard, nursing what Kasperi suspected—and hoped—was a broken nose.
Serves him right for that kind of stupidity.
Something pressed into his flank, and he turned his head enough that he could see Amber pressed into him, putting his bulk between her and the remaining Asp, who watched them carefully.
The resiliency of this woman never ceased to amaze him. A minute ago, she’d been running in terror from him. Now, she must have put it together that he was the bear, and that despite the change in his appearance, he was still here to protect her. It was when he’d put himself between the Asps and her.
She was still terrified, of course, but was more scared of the pair of assholes than of him.
He intended to do whatever he could to ensure she was never scared of him, and could always trust him.
Which meant getting rid of these two assholes.
9
He pawed gently at the ground, jerking his head back toward the Manor. It was the most basic non-verbal communication he had to tell the two of them to scram, before he got pissed.
Switching back to his human form wasn’t an option just then. It took too long, and would leave Amber vulnerable until he completed it. That was simply unacceptable. Not to mention, his blades were back in the House. The Asps were armed. He was not. Simple math said it was better for him to stay in shifter form to take them on.
The real question was, were they willing to shift to come after him or not, or would they take the warning and go report back to Kvoss? Most of him hoped they would stick around. Kasperi was sick and tired of the way they were treating Amber, and he longed to unleash a hurt on them. Sometimes, the only way they learned was through pain, the dumb brutes.
“We saw you start to run.”
She made a sarcastic noise of disbelief.
“If you saw that, you dumb sack of rocks, then you saw what I was looking at when I turned to run,” she said. “How often do you think it is that people see that sort of imagery, hmm? How often do they come face to face with bears bigger than anything I’ve ever seen in a zoo? Wouldn’t you say it’s a natural reaction to want to run away? Look at the size of me. Look at the size of him. Seriously. Use whatever you call a brain.”
“We’re all shifters,” the unbroken-nosed one shot back. “That shouldn’t surprise you. Stop lying. You used it as a convenient excuse to try and get away. Now that you’re caught, you’re backtracking. We’re smarter than that, because we do use our brains.”
“Clearly, not well enough.”
Kasperi chuffed happily. He couldn’t put these idiots in their place verbally, but as it was turning out, he didn’t have to. Amber was more than well-suited for that sort of purpose, and true to the form she’d shown so far, she wasn’t about to back down now.
“You’re making excuses. You were trying to escape. For all we know, he was just using this as a cover to try and help you do just that. Coming outside when it wasn’t necessary, he could have shifted anywhere.”
It was Kasperi’s turn to roll his giant yellow-rimmed eyes and growl at the pair of Asps. They were stretching it, and they knew it. Shifting inside the Manor was perfectly allowed, but it was uncomfortable and awkward. Plus, he didn’t want everyone to have to hear her scream.
Of course, if you’d warned her, you could have avoided all this. She might be quick to adapt, but you can’t keep scaring her like this. Give her some warning, tell her what to expect. Just because you’re used to seeing bears up close like this, doesn’t mean she is.
Yeah, he was most definitely going to have some apologizing to do once this was over, and even as she jawed at them some more, he started thinking over just how he would phrase it, what words he should say, what he shouldn’t say.
