“Yes,” he finally said. “Why would you tell me? I’m a McKnight. I’m the enemy.”
“No,” I said. “You are not my enemy. I care about you. I don’t want you to hurt yourself. Neither does Eric.”
The hand with the gun dropped a few more inches as he mouth opened a little wider in shock.
I kept talking. “The day we found Eric, he came to me. I hadn’t even realized that he was dead yet. He told me about what happened in the locker room when he fell, and how you helped him up. You even apologized for bullying him. That meant something.”
“Did it?” Archer cried. “Then why did he kill himself? Whatever I did, it wasn’t enough!”
“I was his friend, and that wasn’t enough. Neither was Payne’s friendship, or Maggie’s. What Eric did was wrong. He was hurting for a long time and he had a moment of weakness that he wishes he could take back. Killing yourself won’t make it any better for him; it will just hurt more people. Your father, your little brother, and your cousins—they’ll all be devastated. You don’t want that for them, do you?”
I let Archer think about that. He was still crying, but the gun dropped down a little bit.
“When Hunter was hurt, I watched you help Ian. He was a wreck, and you helped him. Now you’re becoming friends. If you hurt yourself, you hurt Ian, and everyone else that cares about you.”
The gun dropped another inch.
“Eric doesn’t want you to hurt yourself,” I said. “He’s here. Right now, he’s here, telling me to stop you.”
“He’s here?” Archer asked and looked around, panic on his face. “Why would he care what happens to me?”
“Because he knows that you aren’t a bad guy,” I said. “You screwed up a few times, but you were changing.”
“Not soon enough,” Archer said.
“Archer,” I said, taking another step forward. “I’m not going to lie to you. You hurt Eric. But he forgave you. He wouldn’t be here if he didn’t.”
“I do forgive you,” Eric told Archer, although Archer couldn’t hear it.
“I need you to believe me,” I said.
Archer looked confused and uncertain, but he didn’t bring the gun back up to his temple. I stepped a little closer.
“Listen to me,” I said. “I know you’re really sorry. I’ve seen that. I believe that, and Eric believes that. There’s also something else you should know. I think someone in this town is pushing you to hurt yourself. This person—whoever it is—I think they did the same thing to Blasé and Aunt Breanne. They may be responsible for Hunter’s accident, and for killing Bryan.”
“How do you know that?” Archer asked.
“I don’t know for certain. Whoever it is just wants our families at odds. They want us to hate each other. Do you hate me?”
Archer looked shocked at the question.
“No,” he said. “I was thinking for a while that you and Payne might get married. I was hoping for that.”
I took one step closer, slowly, trying not to startle him.
“I’m glad,” I said, “because I need you. Archer, I need people I can trust to help me. I can trust you, right?”
Archer nodded.
“I want you to give me that gun,” I said.
Archer looked down at the gun and I could tell he was thinking about it. He moved his finger away from the trigger. His grip on the handle loosened.
“Do you know why I came here?” he asked. “It was the last place I went with my mom before she was killed. Drunk driver. Never caught him. You don’t—has she ever talked to you?”
“No,” I said. “But you never know.”
I inched my hand forward.
“Please,” I said. “Give me the gun.”
Archer’s hand moved up, slowly. I felt a stab of fear from Dante.
The gun was inches from my fingers, and I took it from Archer with a sigh of relief. I moved forward as he started to cry. He let me hold him. Beside me, I saw Dante come grab the gun from my hand and take it to his truck, using the phone in his free hand to call my uncle, or maybe the police.
“Tell him,” Archer said between sobs. I didn’t know what he meant until he continued. “Since you can talk to Eric, t-tell him I’m sorry.”
Eric was right by my side.
“He knows,” I said. “Eric knows. He forgives you.”
Eric nodded, but he didn’t fade away. He stayed with me while I held Archer as he wept.
- sixteen -
Crazy Happens Here
Journal of Bristol Blackburn
Uncle Mark is caught between being proud of me for helping Archer and being peeved that I was out in such a remote part of town while Balthazar is still on the loose.
I haven’t seen Eric since he helped me with Archer. I wonder if he’s moved on now. Maybe saving Archer was why he was holding on? I’m not sure.
In the meantime, I’m still trying to piece together everything that has been happening. People are being pushed. Emotions are being twisted and manipulated.
Uncle Mark’s learned that the gas leak that caused the hardware store explosion happened because someone had damaged the store’s gas line. It had been checked after the vandalism, but the tampering could have happened by accident during the cleanup.
Or on purpose.
I also think it didn’t get the desired result. Archer was supposed to be the next step, and he’s still alive. So the question is: what comes after the next step?
When I got to school the next day, I thought most of the McKnights would be absent, but they weren’t—at least, not all of them. Quite a few of the younger ones seemed to be out, but I saw Chase, Toby and Hunter around. I hadn’t seen Payne, but I heard that he was here, which was good. I needed to test something.
Usually on a Tuesday, we saw each other by third period. I left second period history and made my way to the ladies room. Maggie and Scarlett were with me as we elbowed our way close to the sink farthest away from the doors. Maggie and Scarlett each vied for equal mirror space with the other girls as they fiddled with their makeup. I leaned against the wall and watched.
“Everyone is talking about what you did for Archer,” Maggie said, examining her bright lipstick in the mirror.
“As long as they aren’t talking to me about it,” I said.
“But you saved his life,” Maggie exclaimed. “You did a beautiful thing.”
I sighed. “It was nothing.”
Scarlett reached out and took my hand. “No. What you did was amazing.”
I shrugged as I looked at her hand in mine.
“Well,” I said. “I don’t want to talk about it. Isn’t there anything else to talk about?”
Scarlett offered me a small smile before letting go of my hand and digging in her purse for eye shadow.
I thought about Payne. I missed him. I really wanted to see him.
“We could talk about the other thing everyone else is yapping about,” Scarlett said, as the last girl left the restroom, leaving the three of us alone at the sinks. “You and my brother. Everyone says that you and he were out of school together finding a private place to canoodle.” She smiled as she said that.
“Were you?” Maggie asked. “I was still rooting for you and Payne, not that Dante isn’t a great guy.”
“We were not,” I said. “Dante and I are still friends. I haven’t come to a decision about Payne.”
“What’s to decide?” Scarlett asked as she gave me a look filled with derision and contempt. “I can’t believe you’re still even considering being with that no good son of a gun, after what happened with Priscilla—”
“That might not have been as cut and dry as I first thought,” I interrupted.
“Wait?” Maggie said. “What happened with Priscilla?”
“Nothing,” I said, grateful that I knew nobody was here except Maggie and Scarlett.
“It wasn’t nothing,” Scarlett said. I watched as she put
her hand on Maggie’s arm as she explained further. “Bristol found them going at it at my house. She was all over him like poison ivy. Maybe you should tell your friend she’s better off with my brother. She won’t listen to me.”
“Bristol,” Maggie complained. “Why didn’t you tell me? I’m your best friend.”
“Because I was upset and embarrassed,” I replied. “I didn’t want to talk about it then, and I don’t want to talk about it now except to repeat that it may not have been as cut and dry as we thought. Can we go?”
I started to leave, but Scarlett put her hand on my arm in a sympathetic gesture, trying to stop me. I was in no mood, and stormed out.
As we walked down the hallway, I saw Payne. His eyes met mine. I felt the anger and the betrayal bubble up within me. For a moment, I felt like I was back in Scarlett’s house, having just walked in on Payne and Priscilla. I felt humiliated all over again.
I think Payne must have seen this on my face. He had started to send me a smile, but his expression changed, and suddenly he turned away.
“I can’t believe you,” Maggie yelled. She had bypassed us, and was poking her index finger in the middle of Payne’s chest. “How could you hurt Bristol like that? I never would have thought you would do that, and with Priscilla, of all people? It’s disgusting. You’re disgusting!”
Maggie slapped Payne across the face. He was too stunned even to react. Before anything else could happen, I grabbed Maggie and pulled her away, leaving Payne and Scarlett behind.
“Maggie,” I whispered, as I steered her into the nearest empty lab. “Why did you do that? Nobody knew what had happened except for a few people. Now the entire school is going to talk.”
Maggie blinked as if she was just waking up.
“Oh, no. I didn’t think. I just saw Payne, and something snapped. I was so angry I couldn’t—.”
I tried to force myself to calm down.
“Tell me what went through your mind?” I asked. “Why did you think it was a good idea to go all bonkers in the middle of the hallway?”
“I . . . I . . . ” Maggie looked around as if the answer was floating somewhere on the walls. “I don’t know. I was upset over what Scarlett said when we left the bathroom. I was wondering what you meant by things not being as cut and dry as you had thought. I got that you didn’t want to talk about it, and I was trying to leave it alone. I swear I was. But then I saw Payne, and—”
“You snapped,” I said.
Maggie nodded, still looking a little dazed from her outburst.
“I’m so sorry,” she said. “I hope nobody saw.”
“Maggie,” I replied. “We were in a hallway full of students. I give it ‘til fifth period at the most. The entire school is going to know.”
“I’m so sorry,” she repeated. “Don’t hate me.”
I rolled my eyes and pulled her into a hug.
“Never,” I said.
Maggie nodded as we walked out of the lab and found class. I heard a few hushed whispers as I walked in. The rumor had already started to spread.
By the end of the week, I was at my wits end. Everyone was talking about what had happened at the party and putting their own disgusting spin on it. I was reaching my boiling point and I needed to do something before I flipped out.
The idea of being able to confide in a neutral person had a lot of appeal, but the thought of approaching the counselor’s office was terrifying. I must have paused in her doorway too long, because Mrs. Carter saw me, and eventually came over to say hello.
“Are you Bristol?”
I nodded. “Yes.”
“I’m Mrs. Carter. Mr. McKnight might have mentioned me to you.”
I nodded again. “He did.”
She smiled. “You look like you’ve got a lot on your mind. Would you like to come in?”
This time I shook my head. No, why would I want to do that, I thought.
“Um . . . sure.”
Mrs. Carter ushered me into her office and offered me a seat. Her office was different from the other school offices I’d been in. There were no metal filing cabinets filled with student files. Instead of the pale green, her walls were painted a tranquil blue, and covered with pretty pictures of flowers and waterfalls. Unlike the normal metal chairs with wheels, this was one of two wooden chairs with a leather seat and back cushion. Instead of going behind the desk, she took a seat next to me.
“There’s a lot of rumors going around the school these days,” she said first.
I rolled my eyes.
“Yes,” I said. “I’m aware. I’m not spreading them.”
It was humiliating for me to hear some of the things people were saying about me: things like how I clearly wasn’t doing enough to keep Payne happy. Believe it or not, what made me even angrier were some of the stories I was hearing about Priscilla. Some of the names she was being called were vile. I even felt bad for Priscilla, which irritated me, since she was generally the last person I wanted to think about.
Mrs. Carter smiled kindly.
“I know,” she said. “I’m also aware that you’ve defended Priscilla to some of your classmates. I understand the two of you aren’t close.”
“Um,” I responded. “No, we’re not exactly BFFs.”
“So,” Mrs. Carter countered, “why are you defending her?”
“Because people aren’t being fair,” I yelled. I shot up from my chair and started to pace as I spoke, making wild gestures with my hands to emphasize what I was saying. “Look, I don’t know what went on that night, but I talked to Priscilla, and she looked me right in the eye and told me she barely remembers what happened. I don’t know if somebody slipped something into her drink or what, but she didn’t deserve what happened to her. And she doesn’t deserve to have people calling her horrible names!”
I plopped back down in the seat, crossed both my arms and legs and began to tap my foot.
“You’ll notice Payne’s not getting called a slut, or worse. He’s a guy, so it’s just cool for him. Not that he deserves to be called a slut, either.”
“So you don’t think Payne might have been responsible for what happened that night?”
“No,” I said, suddenly very still. “Payne would never put anything in her drink! And for the record, Priscilla said he was just as confused as he was.”
“I see,” Mrs. Carter said. “So you’ve forgiven Payne?”
I didn’t answer right away. I had come to realize that Payne wasn’t responsible for what happened that night. It was all a part of a larger plan by the Shadow Creatures.
“Bristol?” Mrs. Carter said. “You still there?”
“Yeah,” I said, coming back to reality. “Payne and I were having a fight before we even got to that party.”
There was a beat of silence between us.
“Go on,” she prompted me.
Eyeing the door, I struggled with whether I wanted to go on or just get up. Then I just sighed, and went for it.
“He wanted me to tell him that I love him,” I said. “I wasn’t ready to say that.”
“I see,” Mrs. Carter said.
I waited for her to say more, but she was silent. Did I need to justify that? I felt like everyone who knew Payne and I always wanted an explanation. I just didn’t have one.
“I don’t know why,” I blurted out. “I tried, but I wasn’t ready to say it. Okay? Maybe it just scared me. It’s not the same thing as telling my cousins I love them. If I say it, if I say I love you the way he wants me to, it means forever and that’s a long time. And it terrifies me. I can’t explain it any other way. I can’t justify my feelings. I just wasn’t ready, so I didn’t say it even though it hurt Payne.”
Mrs. Carter nodded and offered me a small smile.
“I think that’s smart,” she finally said. “You don’t owe Payne or anyone else an explanation for how you feel, and I don’t think you need to rush into anything. Those are important words to sa
y, and there is a lot of meaning to them. You shouldn’t say them if you don’t mean them.”
I opened my mouth to respond, but for once in my life I couldn’t think of a thing to say.
“I take it Payne has said those words to you.”
“Yeah,” I answered.
“Do you feel he meant it?”
“Yes,” I said. “I know he loves me. I have no doubt about that.”
“And how does that make you feel?”
Again, I went to give a quick answer, but then stopped myself. How did it make me feel? I thought about Payne. I saw him in my mind, telling me he loved me. Not just the first time, but also the last time we spoke, right before we had that fight. The raw honesty of those words had been written all over Payne’s face.
“Scared,” I answered. “I’m afraid I can’t love him the way he loves me. I’m afraid something about me is broken.”
“Why would you think that?” Mrs. Carter asked.
“I just—” I hesitated. My eyes searched around for a distraction, something to stop what was coming next. With a sigh, I decided I might as well say it. I’d gone this far. “Growing up, my parents and I weren’t very close. For the longest time, if felt like they just didn’t care. I always felt like a freak. Then, when they were killed, I came up here. My uncle loves me, and my cousins, and my grandpa. Why didn’t my parents love me? I loved them. They were my parents. But they didn’t care. They still don’t.”
Mrs. Carter looked confused. “Bristol, your parents are dead.”
I knew that. But in all the time they’ve been dead, they never bothered to stop by to see me, or to check if I was okay in my new home. I’ve seen hundreds of ghosts, but I’ve never seen my parents.
But I couldn’t tell her that.
“I just mean, like anything would have changed.”
It was lame, but she let it drop.
“You know,” she said. “I grew up here in Spirit.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Mr. McKnight said that.”
“Good,” she continued. “Because growing up here, you hear things. I know a lot about the history between the McKnights and the Blackburns. I know a lot of the rumors about both families. So I can understand how someone who came from either family, especially one that grew up outside of Spirit, might feel separated. You have a unique family, as does Payne. I understand how growing up outside of your family, without anyone to talk to about things that made you different might make you feel like, as you said before, a freak. But I hope you know that you’re not.”
Vision of Serpents Page 19
