The difficulty of suppressing her true feelings made Charlotte withdrawn; but if Karl noticed, he said nothing. That alone was unlike him, and hurt her. He was too wrapped up with his “patient” even to notice.
I think Karl would have made a wonderful doctor, she thought drily. In a different life, a different world. He has the hands and eyes of a healer... so people trust them, and find out too late that he has the fangs and appetites of a wolf...
The room in which their guest was convalescing had yellow roses twining over the wallpaper, a peaked wooden ceiling, vases of alpine flowers: it was a room of warm spring sunlight in which vampires - deceptively - did not look out of place.
One morning, as Charlotte sat reading to Katerina, Karl came in and looked over her shoulder at the book of Goethe’s poetry on her lap.
“Why don’t you talk to Katti, instead of reading?” he said.
“Because I don’t know her,” said Charlotte. “And she doesn’t know who I am.”
“But she soon will. She sees you every day. I know from experience that it’s possible to be aware for a long time before you regain the power of speech.”
Charlotte nodded. For Karl’s sake, she swallowed her resentment. She tried not to mind that he sat on the edge of the chaise and took Katerina’s hand...
Katerina gave a start. She turned her head, blinked, and spoke in German. “Karl? Darling, has the world gone mad, or is it me?”
“Katti,” he said warmly, smiling as Charlotte had rarely seen him smile. With his left hand he clasped her fingers; with the right he caressed her shoulder, his attention completely on her.
“I don’t recognise this room.” Her voice was deep and expressive; a voice to drown someone in love or kill them with hate. “Don’t let go of my hand. I want to be sure you’re real. I’ve had the most awful dreams.”
“I am real,” said Karl. “You’re safe now. Do you know how long you’ve been here?”
Katerina looked around the room at the cheerful soft golds and yellows, the bright flowers. Her glance touched Charlotte briefly. “I have no idea. I feel as if I’ve been ill, and lost my memory, like a human. Give me a moment.” She pressed a hand to her head. “It was like a dream... Were you and Ilona really bringing me victims? I couldn’t get enough blood... I tried to speak but I couldn’t move or make sense of anything. Before that there was blinding light and I was frozen and very afraid... Oh, my dear, hold me. I feel so strange.”
“You have been ill, in a sense,” said Karl. He hugged her to him; Charlotte stood and watched, feeling invisible. “As near to death as a vampire can be. Don’t you remember how we found you?”
“Found me... where?”
“In the Crystal Ring. Don’t worry, we’ll explain later.”
“Is Kristian here?”
“No,” said Karl. “No, he is not.”
“I knew you were with me, but on the other side of a glass wall. I couldn’t reach you.” Katerina stared at Charlotte over Karl’s shoulder. “Who is she?”
Karl let Katerina back onto the pillows, and turned. “This is Charlotte.” He switched to English, although Charlotte had understood their conversation perfectly well.
There was pure antagonism in the woman’s eyes; a reflection of the emotion that leapt into Charlotte’s heart. Hatred on sight.
“I didn’t ask her name. I asked who she is.”
“My companion,” said Karl.
“Ah,” said Katerina. “I see.”
“She helped us to bring you back to life.”
“Step forward, Charlotte. Let me see you properly.”
Charlotte obeyed, but she felt she was being judged. Katerina’s gaze trailed over her and found her sadly lacking. “What strange clothes you’re wearing.”
“My clothes are strange,” Charlotte said coolly, “because you have been asleep in the Weisskalt for forty years.”
Katerina looked stunned. Charlotte had used a cheap way to dent her composure, but for a moment it was worth it.
“Forty years?” She stared wildly at Karl. “What year is it?”
“Nineteen twenty-six. Spring.” He gazed at Charlotte, his eyes saying, Why could you not let me tell her more gently? “Can you remember anything?”
“No. Let me think...” Her face went stiff with terror. “Oh God, where’s Andreas? Where’s Andreas?”
She was so distraught that Charlotte felt a pang of remorse. She wanted to comfort Katerina - even wanted to like her - but their situation made it impossible.
“We don’t know.” Karl held her arms to soothe her. “Kristian put you both in the Weisskalt.”
“Why?”
“As punishment for deserting him for me.”
“Of course. I remember... oh God, so he did it! The very thing we dreaded.”
Karl said, “Forgive me, Katti. I would have stopped him if I could. I didn’t know until it was too late. I should have tried to save you, but I didn’t, through ignorance or cowardice.”
“Don’t, Karl. Don’t blame yourself. The Weisskalt is too dangerous; but even if you had rescued us, Kristian would have devised some worse punishment.” Katerina leaned her head back and looked out of the chalet window at the mountains. Remembering. “Oh, God. Andreas... It seems only yesterday we were all together. Forty years?”
“More.”
“And I saw Ilona here? She’s speaking to you now?”
“When it suits her.”
“How things have changed.” Katerina’s eyes swivelled towards Charlotte, glittering. “How they’ve changed. Karl, would you bring me a mirror and comb? And something to wear, however dreadful. I should get up. I truly feel as if I haven’t moved for half a century.”
“Of course,” said Karl.
Charlotte was poised to go instead, but Karl didn’t ask; the request had been addressed to him. As he left, Katerina turned to Charlotte.
Her face was imperious, with a touch of softness that made it oddly painful to be disliked by her. She had all the confidence that Charlotte had never possessed.
“Well, how long have you known Karl?”
“Three years,” said Charlotte. She spoke coldly, defensively.
“Such a little time. And were you human when you met him?”
“Yes.” Charlotte gave an icy smile. “He brought me into the Crystal Ring.”
Katerina paused, surprised and disapproving. “Well, I don’t know what has befallen Karl in the time we were apart, but clearly he must have been very desperate, to have broken his vow...”
“What vow?”
“Never to make another vampire after Ilona.”
“I know about Ilona. He kept no secrets from me.”
“No?” A supercilious lift of her eyebrows. “I have to say, you are not what I would consider his usual taste.”
“I don’t understand,” Charlotte said stiffly.
“You are a little cold shadow; he likes women with spirit; some blood, so to speak. He always insisted he’d rather be alone than drag others into Kristian’s grasp, and that if ever we were separated there could be no one else... But then, he was always lying to himself.”
Charlotte listened, feeling sick but trying to hide it. “If I hear you correctly, you’re suggesting that I am a pale substitute for you?”
“Didn’t Karl tell you what Andreas and I were to him?”
“Friends.”
Katerina’s eyes came alight with a knowing smile. “Friends only? I thought he had kept no secrets from you.”
“What do you mean?”
“We were lovers, of course. I understand why he spared you the truth, but you ought to be aware, now I am here.”
“You and Karl?” Charlotte spoke thinly, hardly able to form the words.
“Karl, and me... and Andreas. The three of us. You look shocked. Have I upset you, dear? I didn’t mean to.”
“But it doesn’t matter, does it?” Charlotte said fiercely. “That was in the past.”
“It’s in the presen
t now.” Katerina’s certainty was absolute. Her will was an almost physical force that left Charlotte defenceless. “I’m here, awake, alive. And bear in mind that we were with Karl for longer than a human lifetime. Three years! How well do you think you know him?”
Karl was in the doorway. “Katti,” he said quietly.
Charlotte knew that, with preternatural hearing, he must have overheard their exchange. Katerina had intended him to. Then Charlotte did what she’d always done as a girl when a confrontation became too much; she bit her tongue, made her face blank, and walked out. She left with dignity, but it felt like defeat.
* * *
Darkness fell; immortal eyes saw through it as humans could not, saw soft colours gleaming in the shadows, the glowing hidden beauty of the night. Charlotte buttoned her coat over her evening dress, settled the fur collar, pulled on her gloves and cloche hat. She did so briskly, staring through her reflection in the black window at the wind-blown world outside. A huge white owl sat in a tree top a few yards away, staring at her.
“Where are you going?”
Karl appeared at her elbow, as if from nowhere. She wanted his arms around her, his firm sensual mouth on hers; she wanted the perfection they had shared before Katerina came. But his past had become a solid barrier between them.
“To see Giselle again.”
“Forgive me, I’d forgotten. I can’t come; I must talk to Katerina tonight.”
“So I assumed. That’s why I’m going on my own.”
“Charlotte...” He spoke calmly and rationally; his tranquil nature was one of the intriguing qualities that drew her to him. It also frustrated her at times. “I can’t apologise on Katerina’s behalf, because I don’t know why she said what she did. But I am sorry you were hurt.”
Both his gentleness and his distance scorched her. She could no longer keep her feelings secret; indeed, Katerina’s hostility seemed to vindicate an outburst.
“Why don’t you know? Because immortals aren’t meant to feel petty emotions like jealousy?”
“Neither of you has any reason to be jealous.”
“It’s all I can do to share you with Ilona, and she’s your daughter. Now this woman intrudes on us and tells me -” Charlotte stopped. She was almost too angry to speak, but still felt she had no right to her anger.
“There is no question of sharing. She hasn’t come to replace you; how could you even think it? But we were close for so many years; you can’t expect me to feel nothing for her. And I can’t cast her out, any more than I could desert you, beloved.”
“I know. I know. But you said you were friends, and she said lovers; who was lying, you or her?”
“I should have told you.” His soft words pierced her like a white-hot dart; part dismay, part desire, inflamed by a brief image of Karl and Katerina lying naked together, kissing, biting...
Even though she’d thought could bear it, his admission flayed her.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I wasn’t trying to deceive you. It was truly more friendship than anything.”
“Strange friendship.”
“Perhaps. But there seemed no need to complicate things unnecessarily. Call it an omission, not a lie.”
“Well, now the owl has come home to roost.” Charlotte wasn’t sure why she said this, but from the corner of her eye she saw the white bird take off and flap away into the night. She went on, “Look at this from her point of view: she has woken in a world she doesn’t know, and you are her only friend. She adores you; who wouldn’t? Andreas isn’t here to divide her attention, so she is bound to fasten onto you. I don’t blame her, but that doesn’t mean I have to tolerate it!”
Karl was shaking his head. “She’s not like that. Give her time. I wish you would stay tonight and talk with us.”
Torn, Charlotte longed to be healed, but Katerina was an implacable thorn in the wound.
“She wouldn’t talk freely with me there, and I can’t endure her condescension. I won’t stay where I’m not wanted.”
“Don’t make this worse.” Karl looked at her resignedly. “Perhaps it’s best I talk to her alone, though. Come back soon.”
He bent to kiss her but she evaded him and slipped into the Crystal Ring, unable to give him the briefest show of affection.
* * *
Katerina said she was tired of being inside, so Karl took her out and they walked slowly through the pine forest under a bright moon. The air was cold and fragrant, the forest floor as yielding as moss. And although Karl never forgot Charlotte, it was here that the wonder of Katerina’s presence finally overwhelmed him. They embraced and held onto each other, weeping for the lost years, for the miracle.
At last Katerina stood back and said, laughing, “Well, how do you like the clothes?” She’d chosen a white shirt and trousers - Karl’s clothes, not Charlotte’s - which only emphasised her femininity. “Women wear men’s clothes now, you said. I should bob my hair, too, to be in fashion, like Ilona.”
“No, don’t cut it. Fashions change so fast.”
“And our hair grows fast, too. You always liked long hair. Is that why Charlotte’s is down to her waist?”
Karl did not reply.
“Are you annoyed with me?” she said.
“How could I be?”
“I know.” She laughed, showing strong pearly teeth. “Returning from the dead after forty years gives you licence to do and say anything, doesn’t it?”
“For a while,” Karl said, not responding to her self-mockery. “But I won’t allow you to upset Charlotte.”
Katerina stopped and leaned back against a tree, her arms folded. Her face was like marble in the moonlight, her lips silver-pale; she needed to feed.
“I behaved badly,” she said. “I apologise. I wasn’t myself; I wasn’t expecting to see her, and I felt... possessive. What claim can she have on you, when I’ve known you so much longer?”
“That’s irrelevant. I know I once said I’d rather live alone, but I didn’t understand how much I needed her until I met her.”
“The question was rhetorical, mein Schatz. You didn’t have to answer; I understand.” She sighed and brushed her deep-brown hair back over her shoulders. “Oh, what fools we are. We think we’re above jealousy, but we’re not. We are animals, defending our territory.”
“I don’t want you and Charlotte in conflict, Katti. There’s no need.”
“It wasn’t only me, though. Why does she find me so threatening? I’m glad she went to the ballet alone. I can talk to you now.”
Karl decided to steer her away from the subject of Charlotte. “Have you remembered anything?”
They walked on through the trees. Katerina said, “Certain things. I remember Kristian coming for us; God, such a bad dream. He accused us of leading you astray, daring to help you make Ilona a vampire without his permission. He said we’d disobeyed God’s laws, and that made us like Lucifer because we had tried to put ourselves above God... Oh, you know how he is.” Katerina gave a dismissive shrug, but Karl saw her submerged terror. She turned paler as she went on, “He brought accomplices, hooded like monks, but he didn’t need them. Kristian seized both Andreas and me without help. Even together we could not resist him. He talked of betrayal and, God help us, I seem to remember him weeping. He took us into the Crystal Ring, higher and higher. Soon all I could see was blinding whiteness. The light and cold were unbearable. I knew what was happening because he’d done the same to many others... God, I was never so terrified in all my existence! I heard Andreas calling my name, and I was screaming for him.” She paused, swallowing hard. “I couldn’t see him. His cries faded and he was gone. I became too stiff and weak to move... and then Kristian abandoned us. I told myself he was trying to frighten us, that he must come back... but he didn’t. He left me there. And my poor Andrei...”
“And were you aware of being in the Weisskalt for long?”
She threw back her head. “In a way. There was light and ice; no thoughts, no real pa
in. Certainly I didn’t know so many years had passed. It seemed a single, long moment.”
Karl hadn’t realised how tense he was until she said this. He’d dreaded hearing that she had been aware of every second of those forty years. “But how did you escape the Weisskalt? Kristian used it as a death sentence. No vampire ever leaves without help. I wish I’d tried to find you, Katti, but...”
“No, dear, you’d only have been trapped with us,” she said gently, touching his sleeve. “I’ve no idea how I escaped. Except that I heard Kristian’s voice, and it woke me up.”
“What?” Karl whispered.
“It’s vague. I don’t remember escaping. I found myself floating lower down in the Crystal Ring. The warm air hurt like fire. There were other vampires waking around me, but I couldn’t reach them. The Crystal Ring is too vast; we drifted apart like leaves. I believe I floated for a long time, months if not years. I was aware enough to feel time passing... yet my mind was blank. Then something hot touched me and I leapt for the blood; I realise now that it was you, darling. I’m sorry if I hurt you, but you saved me.”
“What makes you think it was Kristian who woke you?”
“I know his voice, although it was in my head, not my ears. Where is he?”
“It could not have been him,” said Karl. “Kristian is dead.”
Her lips parted, her eyes flew wide open. “It’s not true!”
“I killed him, Katti. Others helped me - Ilona, Pierre, Stefan and Niklas, and Charlotte - but I was the one who lured him to a dark, cold place that sucked out all his strength so we could finish him.”
Katerina stared, denying his words with a minimal shake of her head.
“It had to be done,” Karl went on. “He held too much power over us. None of us wanted to slaughter him, but he wouldn’t leave us alone.”
Eventually she said stiffly, “You needn’t justify your actions to me. I hated him, in the end. But I’m shocked. I never thought he could die.”
“Believe me.”
“But it was his voice! He said, ‘Wake. Take revenge. Don’t let them forget me... I commanded you to sleep and now I command you to wake!’”
A Dance in Blood Velvet Page 10
