“Well, this is quite some trick! Tricks, dreams - I thought you’d explain what all this means. But you don’t know, do you? You’ve done this to me without even understanding it! You don’t even know what I’m talking about.”
“You’re still Violette! These feelings will pass if you’ll only come out with me and feed.”
Violette sat down, stretched out her left arm and stared at it. Without warning she bit savagely into her forearm, jerked back her head and stared at the wound she’d made. Two pits filled with purplish gel. “No blood,” Violette said hoarsely.
“Don’t!” Charlotte cried, catching her wrist before she tried again. “No blood, because I took it. All that’s animating you is the energy of the Crystal Ring.”
“Will I die if I don’t feed?”
“No, but you’ll experience terrible pain. I won’t let you suffer that.”
“Why do you care? These hands will strangle children. I’ll tear infants from their mothers, I’ll straddle and torment sleeping men. Steal their seed and give birth to all the demons in the world. All the vampires.”
“Violette, for God’s sake!” Charlotte spoke in despair. She remembered something Karl had told her; that after his own transformation, he had asked Kristian, “What are we?” and Kristian had replied, “Children of Lilith.”
“For God’s sake?” said Violette, with a thin smile. Anguish made her hideous.
“This is a delusion. Trust me. It will pass if you -”
Violette jumped up with a strangled cry. Charlotte leapt out of her way, suddenly mortally afraid of her. Stefan came running in, Niklas close behind, but Violette stopped short of attacking Charlotte. She stood scarecrow-rigid, clawing at her own arms.
“I can’t feed! For this miserable, unforgiving God’s sake, will you listen to me?” Violette cried. “Yes, I’m Violette, I’m still myself, just. But if I once taste blood, I will become Lilith completely and I’ll never be able to go back. That’s why I can’t do it!”
She tore her own flesh in self-hatred, but tears gleamed in her eyes. Regret, compassion and sorrow overcame Charlotte as she moved towards the dancer and embraced her.
With terrible strength, Violette threw her off and backed away. A feral glitter entered her eyes, something beyond reason. Charlotte gazed helplessly at her.
“Leave me alone!” Violette screeched. She ran at the mantelpiece and swept several valuable ornaments to the floor. In the explosion of bright sound, she turned and ran at Charlotte. Stefan and Niklas caught her in mid-flight and she writhed in their hands, snatching at the air.
“Perhaps she’ll calm down if you leave, Charlotte.”
“I can’t possibly -”
“Let’s try!” said Stefan. “You’re the one she’s trying to kill. Go, before she wrecks the entire flat!”
As he spoke, Violette slumped in his arms. He sat her down on a chair and she stared into space, unspeaking, catatonic.
Eventually Charlotte said, “Stefan, what are we going to do?”
“I have absolutely no idea.” She’d rarely seen him so serious. “If we can’t persuade her to feed, in the end...”
“What?”
“We would have to decapitate her, or put her to sleep in the Weisskalt. It would be the merciful thing to do.”
Charlotte almost broke down with horror. Concerned, Stefan said, “Go and hunt. You need it; you’re exhausted. We will look after her, don’t worry.”
She nodded wearily, glad of his kindness. She let herself melt into the Crystal Ring and rose slowly, leaving behind the warped shapes of the lower ether. Gilded hills drew her upwards with all the majesty of clouds. How she’d longed to fly among the clouds as a little girl; and now she could, now she could.
Ah, but the price...
I have to find help, she thought. Karl is the last person I can ask... but can any vampire help me? Has this ever happened before? And what if there’s no cure for Violette because she really is Lilith? No, no. Think straight. She could not become Lilith any more than I could become the Virgin Mary.
Then she thought of someone. A kind, sad face; an older, gentler Karl. Josef. Suddenly he seemed the only person in the world to whom she could go.
It was a long journey through the Crystal Ring. The skyscape shone like a dying fire; dark coals backlit by a crimson glow. So vast and lonely. She was a snippet of black thread in the void. She felt cold, but distanced herself from physical discomfort and let the wind blow fiercely through her, cleansing her.
Stop being a fool, she told herself. Don’t weep for Violette. Just help her.
It was a journey of hours; still far swifter than boat and train. She knew the ways well now, fitting the magnetic patterns and flowing currents of the Ring over the contours of Earth without effort.
Here were the streets of Vienna... the square white building, the little courtyard and drab unwelcoming stairs she remembered... Josef was at home. She felt the mote of warmth within the apartment, like a rushlight inside her.
She moved through the walls and saw him - or rather, saw his outline drawn on the Crystal Ring by his aura. Mushroom, dusty brown, a hint of silver; austere, gentle. An strong aura containing no malice.
Charlotte blended into the room and stood motionless, watching Josef. He sat bent over his desk, working by the lamplight. The glow outlined his curved back and put sparks of gold in his grey hair; threw lozenges of shadow across the desk and the dark furniture. She watched him with the still, feline concentration that only vampires possessed.
The flat felt different, now his sister Lisl had passed away. It was less cluttered, fresher, more studious. Yet empty, almost sterile. No one here but Josef and his books.
A photograph of a young woman rested in a silver frame on the desk. Someone important in his life. Charlotte felt strangely peaceful yet full of curiosity, seeing the human world as something alien and fascinating.
A cuckoo clock chirped the hour. Josef looked up and saw Charlotte’s reflection in the uncurtained window in front of him; an apparition with a diadem of shining hair. He clutched the arms of his chair and his face dropped.
“Don’t be alarmed,” she said softly, in German. “It’s me, don’t you remember?”
He turned round in his chair, removing his spectacles and rubbing his brow. “Of course I remember you, Charlotte. How could I ever forget?”
“I didn’t mean to frighten you.”
He stood and kissed her hand, keeping a cautious distance. “How long were you standing there? You can’t disguise what you are, my dear; you never looked anything but unearthly to me.”
“Not pleasant, to find a vampire looking over your shoulder,” she said, half-smiling.
“Isn’t there some rule about you being unable to cross a threshold unless you are invited?”
“Ah, but you did invite me, once.”
“But I’m not on my deathbed. I hope you haven’t come to take my life, because I’m not ready to go.”
“I’m glad,” she said. “I’m not the Grim Reaper, Josef. Your time hasn’t come, I promise.”
He began to relax and his expression eased. “Then why are you here? I thought I’d never see you again.”
“Nonsense. You knew you would,” she said, smiling. “I have an ulterior motive, I’m afraid. I need your help. Information.”
His eyebrows rose; he looked amused, fascinated. “Yes? Anything I can do, I will, but...”
“You said you study Hebrew mythology. What can you tell me about Lilith?”
“Lilith, oh my goodness.” He was on his feet, looking along bookshelves. “She’s barely mentioned in the Bible, you know, but she was at large in Babylonian and Sumerian myth long before the Talmud and the Zohar got hold of her. Won’t you sit down? We can study the books together.”
Charlotte sat down at the desk and picked up the photograph. A pretty woman in a crushed velvet dress; a society portrait. “Who is she?”
“My niece Roberta.”
She hea
rd regret in his voice. “Lisl’s daughter?”
“No, I have another sister; she’s her child. But they live in America so I rarely see my Roberta. I miss her. Even an old bachelor needs someone to look on as a daughter... Anyway, about Lilith.”
He placed a pile of books in front of her and leaned on the desk by her right shoulder, opening the first volume.
“Different stories of her origin, as with everything,” he said. “In Sumer she was Lil, a destructive storm; in Mesopotamia she became a night demon who preys on sleeping men and women, causing erotic dreams.”
He opened another book, quickly finding relevant sections. “Lilith is described as a hot, fiery female spirit in the abyss... Always a wild and destructive force. The Zohar calls her the ruin of the world. God formed Lilith as he formed Adam, but he used sediment instead of pure dust. Adam and Lilith never found peace together... She refused to lie beneath him, claiming equality, but when she saw that Adam would overpower her, she fled to the desert on the shores of the Red Sea. She is still by the sea, trying to snare mankind...
“God sent three angels to bring her back to Adam. Strange names, the meanings of which are unclear: Senoy, Sansenoy, Semangelof. Lilith refused to go with them, preferring to consort with demons.
“When Lilith saw Adam with Eve, she was reminded of God’s glory and flew up to join the cherubim, but God cast her down.” Josef paused, his finger on the text. “This is connected, according to the Zohar, to the moon’s argument with the sun; the moon demanded equality and was punished by God by being diminished and set to rule over the night. But after the Fall, Lilith is connected in sin to Eve. God brought Lilith out of the depths and gave her power over all children who are liable to punishment for the sins of their fathers... Whenever men sin, Lilith is charged to rule over them. She is the woman of severe judgment; the flashing revolving sword of God.”
A chilling thought thudded like a spear into Charlotte: That sounds so like Kristian! He thought he was God’s vengeance... Oh, don’t let Violette be like him!
“Is anything wrong?” Josef said.
“No, go on.”
“She also becomes the bride of Samael, the Devil. The Kabbalists call her Harlot, Tortuous Serpent, Alien and Impure Female. She is seductive and nightmarish, murdering the men she has seduced. She is equated with the Greek Lamia, who sucks the blood of sleeping men. Sometimes she is the Serpent who tempted Eve, thus sharing Eve’s guilt for the Fall.”
Charlotte put in, “Do you have nothing good to say for her?”
Josef smiled softly. “The men who wrote these books did not.”
“God diminished her, because she refused to obey Adam?”
“So it says. But she disobeyed because she is unruly, jealous, angry, ungovernable, destructive, murderous. The female counterbalance to God’s goodness and maleness.”
“You don’t believe all this?”
“I am a Jew, my dear. That does not mean I literally believe every word, but I have respect for these writings.” He went on turning pages. “She is the owl in the night, whose screeching drowns out the prayers of the righteous... Might I know why you are so interested in this?”
Seconds passed before Charlotte could answer. “Someone I know has got the idea into her head that she is Lilith.”
“Oh?” Josef looked at her over the top of his spectacles. “Then you want a psychoanalyst, not books.”
“That might be a little awkward. She’s a vampire.”
“Ah.” He paused, frowning. Then he exhaled and said softly, “Oh, dear Lord in heaven. They also call Lilith the Mother of Vampires, of course... I don’t know what to say, because I understand so little of what you are. Has she held this belief for long?”
Charlotte shook her head. So easy to tell Josef, she thought; Why can’t I be having this conversation with Karl? “She’s only just become... one of our kind. It happened during her transformation. She knew little about Lilith before, yet afterwards she suddenly knew many of the things you’ve told me, facts only a scholar would know.”
“Is she dangerous?”
“She might be. She’s in great distress.”
Josef put his fingertips together. He thought for a minute, then said quietly, “Perhaps you should destroy her. Would it not be a merciful release?”
Charlotte sat motionless, but a chill crept over her. “Are you telling me she’s unredeemable?”
His lips narrowed, and he shook his head. “I am telling you nothing, Charlotte. Is she Lilith, or does she only think she is? The latter is more likely, is it not? I try to answer your questions, that’s all. I can’t tell you what to do. A human could be helped, but a vampire - I don’t know where one would start.”
“I love her,” said Charlotte. “It’s my fault she’s suffering like this. If killing her was the only way - but no, I won’t consider it! The more I understand about the creature she thinks she is, the better I can help her, do you see?”
“Of course.” He took her hand, light and cautious. “What we learn is that Lilith is many things, all of them destructive. You are a companion and daughter of Lilith, and yet you are compassionate... Is it compassion, when vampires care for each other?”
“Don’t torture me with philosophy. I’m too tired. I must go.”
He stood up as she did, still holding her hand. “Come to me again,” he said. “I wish to see you again before I die.”
“You’re not an old man.”
“No, but not young. No one knows how long they have left. I’m not being morbid; only realistic. There may come a time when I need you, as did my sister... Or will I look at you and wonder how it is to live forever?”
The image held her rigid. Yes, Josef would die; but she had the power to change that; to restore his vigour, bestow immortality... then she saw Violette’s anguish, and she knew she couldn’t take the risk.
Everything Stefan had said was coming true. “What you’re doing to Violette is what Karl did to Ilona, and he thinks you’ll live to regret it. Then next time the desire comes to transform someone, you’ll fight it and it will be agony, one way or another, whatever you decide.
“I couldn’t,” she whispered, looking into his kind face.
“Is it so terrible?”
“You’ll never know.” She lifted her face to his and Josef wrapped his arms around her and kissed her gently, with a longing that wrung her heart. And she dissolved into the Crystal Ring even as he held her, leaving him alone with the image of a ghost; to meditate forever on the kindness of demons.
* * *
On her way back, Charlotte had a premonition that Violette would have vanished by the time she reached London; or worse, found a way to kill herself. So she was relieved to find her still there, Stefan looking after her. She sat curled in a chair, hands around her knees, her slim form half-hidden under a shower of sable hair.
Charlotte realised with astonishment that she was asking Stefan a question.
“But who is Niklas? Why doesn’t he speak?”
“He can’t.” Stefan glanced at Charlotte, greeting her with a nod. “He’s an example of the extraordinary things that can happen to us. The only way we can reliably be killed is by beheading. Even that need not be final. Feed the head with blood, and a new body will grow, as perfect as the old. But there’s another trick. Feed the old body and it will grow a new head. A doppelgänger of the first, you see? A near-perfect replica, but with barely the intelligence of a cat.” He waved a hand at Niklas, who sat impassively at the dining table. “He echoes what I do, but has no motivation of his own. Who knows what goes on in his mind?”
Violette looked up, momentarily shocked out of her misery. “How did this happen?”
“We were an experiment by Kristian. A sword-happy soldier decapitated me. Kristian kindly brought me back to life in duplicate.”
“Why didn’t you destroy the other one?”
“Because he’s my brother,” said Stefan, with an odd smile. “Because he’s me.”
“You’re all mad,” said Violette. She glanced at Charlotte then disregarded her.
“How are you?” asked Charlotte. No reply.
Stefan sighed. “She hasn’t fed. But she’s been asking questions; I’ve been telling her a little about the bad crowd she’s fallen in with.”
Questions. That was a hopeful sign. Charlotte knelt down by the chair and touched Violette’s arm; at least she didn’t pull away. How gaunt she was with lack of blood! A vampire’s blood was better than nothing. A start; if she got the taste, she would want more.
“Drink mine. It won’t hurt me.”
Violette only stared at her with dead eyes.
Charlotte bit into her own wrist, held the oozing wound to Violette’s chin. “Taste it.” The dancer shut her eyes, wincing with revulsion. “Darling, you’ll starve! You won’t die but you’ll wish you could! But if you feed you’ll feel better in every way, I promise. Please.”
“Stop it,” Violette said in a low voice. “Don’t try to force me. I won’t do it. Don’t look at me with those hopeful eyes. Nothing’s changed!”
Charlotte let her go in despair. “I love you. I thought you loved me. Does that mean nothing?”
“I don’t know what you mean by love! It’s blasphemy, it’s the excuse for everything, it’s the cheapest threat there is! Leave me alone!”
Charlotte backed off. Devastated as she was by Violette’s state of mind, she knew that to help her, she must detach herself from human emotion, as other vampires could. She looked sideways at Stefan.
“We may have to force her,” he said.
“No,” said Charlotte. “It would be disastrous. Stefan, why don’t you go to Karl? I’ll stay with her.”
“Are you sure? I should perhaps go and see what he wants with me.”
He took his twin’s hand, and they vanished. Charlotte sat on a dining chair, watching Violette. She resembled a Lalique glass figure, knees drawn up, ankles crossed, head bowed. Dumb as stone, closed in on herself. Misery and physical pain flowed from her.
“I asked a scholar about Lilith,” Charlotte began. “He told me the myths and they correspond with everything you say. He couldn’t explain why this has happened to you, Violette, but I’m sure of one thing: this is important. Lilith wasn’t a simple being; she had many aspects. If you’d stop fighting, we could face this together. You are more than human. You don’t have to be ruled by pain!”
A Dance in Blood Velvet Page 43
