“I’ll heat up a bottle,” she informed her husband who was bouncing the infant against his shoulder.
In a few minutes it was ready. On her way back to Philippe, she grabbed an ice bag out of the fridge. Once inside the bedroom, she handed him the bottle and a clean cloth. He immediately put the nipple in the baby’s mouth. Jean-Luc tugged on it, and quiet reigned.
As Kellie lay the ice bag over his knee, she had to fight not to stare at her husband. Without the beard and moustache, the masculine features she loved so much were visible again. It felt like it had been light years since she’d known the hunger of his kiss. She ached for his touch, for the closeness that might never come again.
“Analise said he should sleep in his carryall. Let me get it.”
“What else did you two talk about?” he demanded when she’d brought it to the side of the bed.
She bit her lip, vacillating whether to tell him the truth tonight, or wait until morning.
His dark brows knit together. “Something’s going on or she wouldn’t have jumped at the chance for a ride home with you.”
Nothing escaped his notice. She’d hoped to avoid any serious conversation, but she knew her husband. He wouldn’t rest until he had an answer to his question.
Moistening her lips nervously she said, “Analise thinks Yvette may have been lying to her when she claimed you were the father.”
He bit out an epithet before raking a free hand through his hair.
“In all fairness to you, she wants to be absolutely certain the baby is yours. She’d like us to take Jean-Luc to the hospital in the morning for a DNA test.”
Kellie saw his jaw harden.
“So that’s the reason she let him stay over tonight.” The fury of his tone tore her apart all over again.
“No, Philippe. You’re wrong about that. The thought never crossed her mind that Yvette might have been lying. It wasn’t until she watched you interacting earlier that she started to question everything.”
“Why?”
“Evidently she couldn’t see a strong enough resemblance to be positive you were the father.”
He leveled his piercing gaze on her. “What do you see?”
“I—I have to admit he doesn’t remind me of you, e-except for his coloring of course. But then a lot of babies don’t necessarily look like one of the parents. He could be yours. Did Yvette ever mention another man?”
“I knew nothing about her life.”
“But if you slept with her…”
She watched his chest expand.
“If you had waited for me in the E.R., I would have told you the whole story.”
“I’m here now,” she said on a ragged breath, sinking down on the end of the bed.
He put the baby against his shoulder to burp him. “I’d just finished a winter climb with a buddy and was headed back to Neuchâtel. On our way down the mountain we saw evidence of an avalanche. A group of skiers below the ledge were caught in its path. One of them was Yvette.
“When I pulled her out of the snow, she was so frightened and shaken, she begged me to ride with her in the rescue helicopter. At the hospital the doctor checked her out and said she’d be okay. All she needed was warmth and rest.
“I accompanied her back to her hotel room and brought her some dinner. When I told her I had to leave, she broke down sobbing and pled with me to stay.
“Yvette was an attractive thirty-two-year-old woman, but after her near-death experience she seemed so childlike, I felt prompted to hold her for a while so she’d calm down.
“After thanking me over and over again, she finally fell asleep. I had every intention of leaving the room, but I was so exhausted after the climb and rescue effort, I passed out.
“Some time during the night I felt this woman in my arms. She was kissing me and I made the mistake of responding. Before long, the inevitable had happened.
“Mon Dieu, I can’t begin to describe my self-loathing. I’ve always detested men who would use a woman like that. I couldn’t believe I’d succumbed to a moment of weakness with a literal stranger. Believe me, that’s all it was.
“I apologized for my behavior and left the room. After that experience I didn’t go near another woman until I met you. As for Yvette, I never saw her again until she came to my work.”
The truth was hard to hear, but it was also liberating. Kellie no longer had to fear Yvette’s memory because Philippe had never been emotionally involved with her.
“Obviously she didn’t have a roommate.”
“No. I figured out she’d come alone on her ski trip, probably hoping to meet a man.”
Kellie stirred restlessly. “Analise said Yvette had a lot of boyfriends and was dating a veterinarian right up until she left on her holiday. It’s possible he might be the baby’s father.”
“Did she tell you if this man came forward at the funeral asking questions?”
She got up from the bed. “No. The only thing Analise said was that Yvette never got serious over a man until she met you.”
He shook his head. “No wonder her hatred of me has been so strong.”
“To her credit she let it go, otherwise we wouldn’t be lucky enough to have little Jean-Luc with us tonight. Darling—now that he’s fallen asleep, let me put him in his carryall.”
He might as well have not heard her because he held on to the baby. “If she thinks I’m going to give him back while we wait for the test results, then she’s got another think coming.
“In case he’s my son, I’ll be damned if I’m going to lose out on any more time with him.”
Kellie had known this was going to happen. What Philippe didn’t realize was that Analise wouldn’t fight him. But the older woman was just as worried as Kellie about the test results.
If they proved he wasn’t the father, by then he might feel so attached to the baby, he wouldn’t be able to handle losing him. Heaven forbid if Analise found the real birthfather who wanted to claim his son once he learned the truth.
“I know it’s late, but could you phone Honore for his advice?”
She waited for her husband to say something. When he didn’t dismiss her suggestion out of hand, she realized he was actually considering it.
“I’ll phone him now.”
Kellie took that as the signal she should relieve him of the baby. As she walked over to him and reached for Jean-Luc, her arm accidentally brushed against Philippe’s hair-roughened chest.
The contact produced a scorching fire. She trembled so hard she almost dropped the baby. Avoiding Philippe’s eyes she gathered Jean-Luc against her body like a shield and left the room.
The tiny bundle of warmth provided the distraction she needed. She couldn’t make love to her husband, but there was nothing stopping her from kissing Yvette’s adorable baby.
He was so sweet she didn’t want to put him to bed. Instead she carried him to the living room. After spreading the quilt on the oriental rug, she placed the baby on top of it, then lay down next to him.
Maybe he was dreaming because every once in a while his face made little frowns and his teeny fingers would stretch open, then relax against his receiving blanket.
Could there be any greater preparation for her own baby than to take care of this one? She studied his hands with their miniscule nails which were perfect in every detail down to the half moon cuticles.
When she ran a finger across his lips, his little mouth would form an O. She got the same reaction every time and laughed softly because he was so dear.
No doubt Analise saw Yvette every time she looked at him. Kellie could imagine how empty her house must feel to have her grandson gone tonight.
As she lay there letting the baby hold her little finger in his fist, her mind began to imagine what it would be like if Philippe loved her again and Jean-Luc was theirs. They could buy a home on the outskirts of Neuchâtel with enough bedrooms for several children.
They’d get a dog. She’d plant a garden of flowers and herbs. She
would have the kitchen remodeled into her dream kitchen. They’d invite her mother and grandparents to come over and stay for a month or two.
“Wouldn’t it be wonderful?” she said to the baby who had opened his eyes and had turned his head in her direction.
“Oh—you’re so cute!” She kissed his cheek. It made him smile. She did it again and again. Finding him irresistible, she picked him up and lifted him in the air.
“What a little angel you are! You haven’t cried once for your grandmère. How lucky can we be?”
She lowered him to her chest and kissed the top of his head.
“Kellie?”
Philippe had entered the living room without her being aware of it. She had no idea how long he’d been standing there leaning on his cane, but by the tone of his voice something new had upset him.
She drew the baby closer in her arms and got to her feet. Refusing to be intimidated, she faced his unnerving scrutiny without blinking. “Couldn’t you reach Honore?”
His eyes narrowed on her features. “We talked.”
A burst of adrenaline filled her system. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s his professional opinion I made a serious mistake the moment I took Analise up on her offer tonight instead of telling her to get an attorney.”
“Why?” Kellie blurted. “Isn’t it better to settle something like this without having to resort to the law?”
“He believes Yvette and her mother were in on this from the start, that they’ve always known I wasn’t the father.”
Oh, no.
“It’s the classic story of the girl in trouble. Her mother told her to turn to the man with the most money to bail her out because the birth father had disappeared.
“When the plan went awry and she died a tragic death, the mother didn’t want the baby or the financial responsibility. So she laid a guilt trip on me.”
Kellie shook her head in despair. “He’s wrong, darling. Totally wrong.”
His face closed up. “I don’t think so. It all fits. After waiting a prolonged period to make the agony worse, she contacted me knowing full well that even if the DNA test proved I wasn’t the father, I’d see to the baby’s needs.”
His free hand curled into a fist. “Honore wouldn’t be at all surprised if Analise has disappeared by morning, in which case the baby will become a ward of the court until this nightmare can be sorted out.
“Therefore he wants me to take the baby back to her tonight without telling her I’m coming.”
“Phili—”
“I’ll need you to drive me,” he cut in.
Kellie knew what she had to do, but when Philippe heard her confession, there would be repercussions. She didn’t want Jean-Luc anywhere around to become upset.
“Give me a second to get his carryall.”
She dashed past him with the baby who was still awake. When she reached the bedroom, she settled him in the carryall and made him comfortable. Then she rummaged in the diaper bag and found the pacifier she’d seen earlier.
He sucked on it the way he did his bottle. She gave him a kiss on his forehead, then got up to leave the room. Philippe was just coming through the door.
Their eyes met for a heartstopping moment. “Before we do anything, I need to talk to you first. But not in here. Let’s go back to the living room where we won’t disturb Jean-Luc.”
“Honore said time was of the essence.”
“I—I know something he doesn’t.”
A shadow crossed over his face. “What in the hell does that mean?”
“I’ll tell you in the other room.”
She saw no hint of brown in the black eyes impaling her. “I thought you took longer than usual to do the shopping today.”
He knew.
Her mouth went dry. “Please can we have this conversation away from the baby?”
CHAPTER SIX
PHILIPPE’S lips twisted unpleasantly. “I think not. Why don’t you start by telling me what it was you promised Analise if she would agree to become an entirely different person in the twinkling of an eye?”
Kellie struggled for breath. “Happiness.”
In the next instant the cane went crashing against the wall. He took a step forward and seized her shoulders, unaware of his strength.
“Explain that remark.”
She didn’t care that his grip caused her pain. Kellie had craved his touch for so long, she welcomed any contact with him.
“I told her you needed your son—that if she would give you a chance, her grandchild would grow up to be the luckiest little boy in the world. I promised her she would come to understand why Yvette fell in love with you—why I love you so desperately.
“I do love you. More than you’ll ever know,” she cried before pressing her mouth to his. Out of control at this point, Kellie threw her arms around his neck to draw him closer.
Her desire to know his possession was so great, she could scarcely comprehend it when he wrenched his lips from hers and pushed her away without responding.
Kellie had never known physical rejection from him before. She stepped backward in shock.
Lee’s words were screaming in her ears. Philippe has changed. He wants the divorce now.
“Forgive me,” she whispered in a tortured voice. “That won’t happen again.”
His eyes held a dangerous glitter. “You’re right.”
The cryptic remark sent a thrill of alarm through her body. “What do you mean?”
He rubbed his chest absently. “I suppose I ought to thank you for going where the proverbial angels fear to tread. You’ve served your purpose without my having to take Analise to court. Tomorrow morning you can leave Neuchâtel and we’ll call it a day.”
His words filled her with panic. “You need me to help with Jean-Luc.”
“In the end, Analise has proven to be the best candidate for the job. I need you like I need a steady diet of undetectable poison.”
Kellie didn’t know he had it in him to be this cruel. His remark might as well have chopped her heart into pieces. She watched him limp the short distance to pick up Jean-Luc who’d started to fuss.
“I know I hurt you terribly when I asked for the divorce. I should never have done it no matter how much I believed I was doing the right thing at the time.”
He sat down on the side of the bed with the baby and rubbed his little back until his eyes closed again. Kellie had no way of knowing if her husband was listening or not, but she couldn’t stop the words that poured from her heart.
“With hindsight I can see that my behavior didn’t have anything to do with loving you. Those selfish actions were all about me. I was still so consumed with pain over being abandoned by my birthfather, I didn’t consider what I was doing to you.”
Tears stung her eyes. “Darling— I love you. I’d do anything to make our marriage work. Next week I was planning to go for counseling. It’s something I should have done as a teenager.”
The baby had fallen asleep. Philippe put him back in the carryall before turning to Kellie.
“Are you quite through?”
“No—” At this point her face was dripping with moisture. “I’m begging you for a second chance.”
“You mean like the one you gave me when I phoned you a hundred times or more from the hospital?” he fired back.
“Yes! Because you’re an honorable man, Philippe. It’s one of the things about you I can always count on. You have a nobility that puts you on a different level than most people.
“On the night of the car accident with Yvette, I know for a certainty another man would have done just about anything to keep that kind of truth from his wife.
“Not you!
“You faced me head on, believing our love was strong enough to take it. For that kind of faith and courage, I admire you more than you could possibly imagine.
“I know I don’t deserve it, but I’d like to start over again and prove that I can be worthy of you. I swear I’ll make a loving hom
e for us. If that includes Jean-Luc, I already adore him. If it doesn’t, I’ll give you our own babies to adore.”
By virtue of the fact that she couldn’t see any visible signs of emotion, the remote look in his eyes chilled her much more than his anger.
“It’s too late for us.”
The conviction in his voice shattered her. “Don’t say that—”
“I wish I didn’t have to. Don’t you know I’d sell my soul to feel what I once felt for you?
“Go back to Washington, Kellie. By the end of the week you’ll be a free woman. For what it’s worth, I hope you get the counseling you need. As for Jean-Luc, I’ll take care of him tonight. You need to go to bed. To be frank, you look exhausted. That doesn’t augur well for the long flight home.”
By some miracle Kellie found the strength to walk to her bedroom and shut the door before collapsing on the bed.
Now you know how Philippe felt when you refused him any opening.
She wanted to die.
As she lay there, she remembered Yvette saying those exact words to the doctor, and his response.
Non, mademoiselle. You want to live. You’re going to be a mother very soon. Think of the joy you will have raising your child. I’ve called your mother. She’ll be here shortly to comfort you.
Several hours passed. Kellie heard Philippe in the hall after the baby started to cry for his four o’clock bottle. Then there was silence.
At this point being in the same apartment with him without sharing his life or his bed was unbearable. She dressed and packed. By six o’clock the room and bathroom looked like they’d never been used.
Philippe wanted her gone, so it didn’t matter if he could hear her leave. Still, she tried to be as quiet as possible by tiptoeing through their apartment to the front door.
Once she reached the lobby, she used the courtesy phone to ring for a taxi. This early in the morning, the response time was fast. She instructed the chauffeur to drive her to the train station.
As if she were on automatic pilot, she bought a ticket to Nyon on Lake Geneva. According to Lee who had attended a private girls’ school in Nyon and had stayed on to work before her marriage, there were dozens of boarding schools dotting the lakeside from Montreux to Geneva. They employed live-in cooks and probably paid well.
The Baby Dilemma Page 8
