Adam’s dark eyes became distant again. “It is hard to believe she is dead. Sometimes, it’s almost as though I can still sense her presence,” he whispered.
“A ghost?”
“Nay . . . not a ghost. It is as though she is still alive.”
Ruth shook her head. “Now you too are insane.”
“Maybe.” Adam stood up and threw a few coins on the table. “Let’s go, Ruth.” They turned to leave.
I lowered my head and stared at the table. I felt his gaze rest on me as they walked by. My hair blocked his view of my face, so it was only a brief glance. He would never have expected to see me here, which is why, I assumed, he didn’t look very closely.
As they left, I glanced around the room again, worried that someone might recognize me. This was not the type of place Gregory would frequent, but I could not say the same of the servants. Samuel seemed certain that would not happen, but I wore no wig or disguise to conceal my identity. How could he be so sure?
“Julia, you look worried about something. What’s wrong?”
I leaned over the table and whispered, “You said no one will recognize me. How can you be sure that one of Gregory’s servants wouldn’t?”
Samuel stared at me calmly as he sipped his wine. “One, none of them would ever think to look for you in a place like this. Two, the lighting is very dim in here, as it is everywhere else in the city at this time of night.” He smiled and continued, “You can see them better than they can see you.”
I stood, my concerns assuaged for the moment. Samuel looked up at me. “Are you going to follow him, Julia?” he asked, running a hand through his light blond hair. Nodding, I started for the door. Samuel finished his wine and got up. “Sunshine, we need to talk.”
“Later, Samuel,” I replied over my shoulder. Samuel followed me outside. It didn’t take us long to catch up to them. We watched as Adam walked Ruth into a house. After some minutes, he emerged and walked in the direction of his home. He kicked a stone down the dirt street. I heard him curse at himself for not doing anything to stop me from hurting myself, for not knowing I had “heard about his engagement.” Suddenly he turned towards us, eyes narrowed. Samuel and I melted into the shadows at the same time. Even though I wanted to see him, I didn’t want him to see me. I was too uncertain about him, and that uncertainty saddened me. It amazed me how a single rotten person could change the way one perceived everybody else.
Adam looked around, apparently sensing someone was watching him. After a long moment he turned and walked on, and finally entered a house up the street. Samuel and I returned to our house on the outskirts of London. “You said we had to talk,” I said, sitting down at the table.
Samuel sat across from me. “You still love him, don’t you?”
“Love! Samuel, I do not —”
He was already shaking his head. “There’s something between you two. Something extremely powerful.”
“I do not understand. Samuel, I don’t think I can love anymore.”
Samuel studied me. “Is it because of Gregory?” he asked bluntly.
“Yes, a little. Or maybe a lot.” I struggled to put my churning emotions into words. “I wonder if I have ever really felt love. I sometimes still think he is going to hurt me again.”
“He cannot, Julia.”
“Curse it, Samuel! Up here I know that,” I said, tapping my head. “But here,” I touched my chest, “I don’t.”
“He will not hurt you,” he said calmly. “And neither will Adam. Adam will not, Sunshine.” He must have sensed I doubted even that.
“How do you know that?” I demanded.
“There is an undeniable bond between the two of you. He knows, somehow, that you are not dead. Don’t you remember what he said at the inn tonight?”
“There is another problem. Unlike my ‘educated’ class, he was taught to believe in vampires, to believe they are all evil. Do you really think he’ll want to love a demon?”
Samuel sighed deeply. “Do you think you are evil?”
“No. But how I feel isn’t the point!”
He reached out to touch my hand. “Julia, please trust me.”
“I cannot think about this right now.” My body trembled. I started pacing.
Samuel rose and moved behind me. He put his arms around me and held me close. “Julia, calm down. You’re safe. Do not fear. Gregory is not going to hurt you anymore.”
“Promise?” I whispered. My shaking was gradually dying down, and again I was amazed by the way his touch seemed to calm me. Why did he have this effect on me? Could it be love? I supposed I did love Samuel, in a way, but it was because he was so kind; I loved him because he treated me with gentleness. I had not experienced such tender care since I was a child playing in my parents’ gardens. He was a bit like an older brother, but not even that comparison seemed to fit. Samuel was someone I trusted, and for me, that was a lot. Maybe trust was a necessary precursor to love.
“I promise,” Samuel murmured close to my ear.
I nodded and stepped away. I was about to ask him again about this bond he was referring to, but just then the others came back. They entered the house whooping and dancing. “What has gotten into them?” I asked. They were acting like children who had just found a bag of playthings.
“They must have had success,” Samuel answered dryly.
Matthew grabbed my hands and began to spin me around. “’Tis time to celebrate!” he shouted.
“We showed them!” Jeffrey yelled, as he ran past us into his own room. Even quiet Mary Anne was dancing around in obvious delight in a way I had never seen.
“What happened?” Samuel asked her.
“We made Valentino’s group leave the area,” she answered breathlessly. “They refused to stop the killing, so we used force to get them out of town.”
Samuel joined in the expressions of enthusiasm. I enjoyed seeing him so delighted. He pulled Mary Anne to the middle of the room and swung her around.
I, meanwhile, was startled by Matthew’s openness with me. It confused me because I was so distant towards him, Jeffrey, and Robert. “Matthew —” I started uncertainly as he swung me around again. I glimpsed Christy and Sharon opening bottles of whiskey. Where they had gotten so much alcohol I had no idea. Jeffrey returned and sat down, a violin in his hand.
Matthew slowed down and looked at me, a smile tugging at his lips. “It’s a celebration, Julia. Calm down. I’m not going to hurt you,” he whispered, a little exasperated. “I like you; you are an interesting woman. And not a bad fighter for a beginner. Though methinks I can still defeat you anytime.”
I shoved him playfully. “Do not flatter yourself too much, Matthew,” I answered with a small smile.
“I’ll try not to.” He laughed. “Celebrate?”
I suddenly relaxed. He had let me shove him and hadn’t hurt me. I understood now that he didn’t want to hurt me. “As long as we do not dance anymore right now,” I replied. “Your unexpected whirl has made me dizzy.”
“All right.” He guided me to the table where Jeffrey and Christy were sitting. We sat down and watched as the other four danced to Jeffrey’s violin.
Christy poured me a glass of whisky. “This is probably the first celebration you’ve shared in for a while, isn’t it?”
I nodded. “The last festivity I went to was my sister’s wedding, about a year ago.” I watched Robert and Sharon dance together, and Mary Anne and Samuel.
Matthew leaned forward. “You looked so sad when we came in. What were you thinking about?”
I looked towards the dancers. “I just cannot overcome the fear that my husband will hurt me again. You must think I’m mad.”
Matthew and Christy, who were dancing near us, looked at me and shook their heads. “Nay, we understand, Julia. Do not worry fret yourself. It will take time to recover,” Christy said. They exchanged looks. “Would you feel safer if Gregory was dead?”
I stared at her with widened eyes and pondered her question bef
ore replying. “Aye. It would make me feel much safer, Christy. I would never again have to worry about him coming after me.”
Both vampires nodded, but said nothing. I glanced at them and then watched as Robert and Sharon exchanged places with Christy and Matthew so they could dance. I smiled in amazement at their openness towards each other, but it made me feel like an outsider again. I looked down and studied the floor with keen interest.
Mary Anne and Samuel startled me when they suddenly stopped by the table. I looked up just in time to hear Samuel ask me to dance. My mind blanked and I stared at him in silence. He repeated his request hopefully. “One dance, Julia, please?”
“Samuel, it has been so long since I last danced,” I stammered.
Samuel smiled. “That doesn’t matter to me.”
“All right. One dance,” I said hesitantly. Samuel helped me up and led me to the middle of the floor. I heard the other vampires start singing to the music as we picked up the rhythm. The strange thing was that the song was one I had heard at church when I was young, an old religious song. Just as amazing was that they seemed so passionate about this song of coming freedom. Religious vampires. I guess that just proves the theory that not all vampires are creatures from Satan. I knew that now.
I found myself loosening up and actually enjoying the dance. Unfortunately, the sun was about to rise. We had been busy the entire night. A heavy drowsiness swept over me. Some of the other vampires quietly cursed. They were moving quickly, but not hurriedly. As they left the room Samuel guided me to the bed. “They sound annoyed, not afraid,” I muttered sleepily.
Samuel laughed. “The sun does not kill us, Julia. It just saps our strength and makes us extremely drowsy. It’s easier to shutter the windows and sleep during the day than to try to stay awake through the daylight hours.”
“Oh. Good night, Samuel. And thank you.”
“There’s no need to thank me, Julia. But since you did —you are very welcome,” he whispered. My eyes closed and darkness engulfed me.
Chapter 8
When I awoke the next night the first thing I noticed was that the house seemed completely silent. With my heightened senses I detected one other person in the house and could also tell they were human. I opened my eyes in confusion and found the covers gently draped over me. Samuel’s side of the bed was, of course, empty. My senses hadn’t been wrong; none of the other vampires were in the house. I raised my eyes and looked towards the other side of the room. Damien was sitting at the table eating soup.
I sat up. “Where is everyone?”
Damien looked up at me. “Hello, Julia. The others went out for some kind of group hunt.”
I pursed my lips. “And they could not bring me?” I asked.
Damien looked troubled but shook his head. “They said you couldn’t accompany them, that it was just for the older vampires for some reason. I came here to keep you company.”
“How nice,” I said dryly. “How long have they been gone?”
“They left right at sundown. Not that long ago,” Damien replied quietly. He ate another spoonful of soup. “Samuel told me you went out and saw Adam last night.”
I got up and stared at him. “Aye. He did not see me, though. I just wanted to see if he was all right.”
“I saw him today. He stopped to talk to me. He said that he could have sworn someone was watching him last night. Adam also told me that sometimes it seemed as if you were still alive, but he also said he knew that wasn’t true because if you had still been alive you would have found a way to communicate with him.”
I looked up in sudden anguish. I abruptly began to cry. “I cannot ! Oh Damien, God knows I want to but, — no, no, NO! It cannot be.”
Damien came to my side and touched my shoulder. “Go ahead. It is all right to love him,” he said softly.
I shook my head. “Nay. Never again.” Even I was taken aback by the intensity in my voice.
I must of startled him as well; he took a step back. “You do not mean that, Julia.”
“Aye. I do. Love has only caused me pain and grief. And do not forget, he is going to be married soon,” I replied crisply. Changing the subject, I asked, “How is my sister faring?”
“Crystal’s doing as well as might be expected. She is unhappy of course, and she thinks Gregory killed Marie. She also thinks you are dead as well . . . but she also thinks you have moved on to a better life now,” Damien answered.
“Well, that much is true. Just not the way she hopes.” I sat down at the table. “Where are they?”
“Why are you so agitated? Do you love Samuel?”
I looked at him in disbelief. “Damien! Of course not. I told you, I do not —will not love another person like that again. I will not love at all!” I said vehemently. This time Damien dropped the subject. I began to sew, and he turned his attention back to his soup.
A little later everyone else returned. I got up and glared at them. All of them had some blood on them, but both Matthew and Samuel were soaked in it. “What have you been doing?” I asked suspiciously.
They exchanged looks. “We went out on a messy hunt,” Matthew finally answered.
“What about me? You left me behind!”
Samuel met my gaze. “You would not have wanted to be there, Julia. You can go out hunting now alone if you like while we get cleaned up.”
“Are you in earnest?”
“Aye. You are ready. If you need help, all you have to do is scream out to us with your mind.”
“Fine. I’ll go,” I snarled back. I went off and dressed in a loose peasant—like black dress and then returned to the room. I grabbed my cloak, and stomped out.
Anger and confusion kept my mind off of my fears until I reached town and noticed a crowd gathering there. In spite of my fear I was curious, and moved towards the knot of people. When I reached the edge of it, I saw a few men try to guide the women with them away. The crowd was loud, the many voices blending into an indistinguishable symphony. At least one woman fainted, farther in the crowd. I tapped the shoulder of a woman I had never seen before. “What is going on?” I asked loudly so she could hear my question above the noise of the crowd.
The woman turned frightened eyes on me. “That man —the one who just lost his wife— he was found murdered!”
I frowned. “Who? What is his name? What happened?”
“Gregory Smith. A group of people found him in an alley. His throat was ripped out, but there was barely any blood. They are saying vampires did it.”
“Nay. It was that band of thieves!” someone else shouted.
“Then why was there not any blood?” another yelled back.
The woman’s words suddenly registered. Shocked, I rocked backwards. “Are you all right, Miss?”
“Aye,” I replied, smiling grimly. I turned away and disappeared down another street. I laughed out loud and spoke to myself. “I cannot believe this.” I thought I knew who did it. No wonder the others had gone without me. I figured it was either Samuel or Matthew, probably Samuel. “The rascals. They really did it. And how I love them for it!”
A portion of my fear subsided as I realized that some of my invisible chains had been broken by Gregory’s death. The other vampires had wanted me to find out — that was why they had sent me out. I shook my head and began to look for a meal. I was hungry now.
I managed to find a young woman that wasn’t part of the mob around Gregory’s body. I fed off her the way I was taught and then started home. The townspeople were scared now and stories of vampires were already circulating. Although the young woman I fed from would regain consciousness soon enough, if she was discovered still unconscious, it would spark more hysterics. I reasoned it was best to go home, where I could satisfy my curiosity about which vampire killed Gregory.
So I slipped away, apparently unnoticed, and returned home. When I walked in, I noticed everyone was still there, including Damien. I hung up the cloak and looked towards the group sitting around the room. “All right
. Which one of you did it?”
They all looked up at me, revealing nothing with their countenances. “Do what, Julia?” Matthew asked mildly.
I stepped farther into the room. “Killed Gregory? It is either you or you,” I said pointing at Matthew and Samuel. “And it is probably you,” I said, resting my gaze on Samuel. I smiled.
Neither spoke, but they exchanged glances. Finally they shook their heads. I continued speaking, not deterred one bit by their tacit denials. “And whichever wonderful rascal it is, I love them,” I finished in sincere gratitude.
Matthew looked at me quizzically. Still, no one would admit they were the one.
I shook my head and smiled. “Fine. Do not answer. The important thing is that it is done.” I hugged both male vampires before sitting on the bed.
“Julia’s showing affection? She must be sick. Are you sure we can’t get sick, Samuel?” Matthew said jokingly. At least I thought he was jesting.
Samuel grinned. “Last time I checked we could not. Maybe Julia has started something new.”
Jeffrey looked at them with a grin. “Or maybe you have finally got her to trust you,” he said pretending to be shocked.
“If only that will happen with me,” Robert sighed.
I was about to say something nasty back when Damien spoke up. “I do not think she’s interested in finding a lover right now. She told me she was never going to love again. Sorry Robert.”
Robert looked at me. “Is that true?” he asked in shock.
I suddenly felt defensive. “Aye. It is. I’m not going to love someone in that way again. Heaven knows, love has gotten me into enough trouble.” I shared a look with Samuel, which seemed a sort of unspoken challenge.
Samuel didn’t bother to argue with me over it. He just smiled. “Julia, do not fret about it. We finished cleaning out the extra room in back. You can have your own room now.”
I nodded. “Thank you.” Glancing at Matthew I again was struck by how familiar he looked. This time I knew I needed to confront him with what I thought I knew. “Matthew, can I speak to you for a moment? Alone?”
Lost Soul (War of Destiny Book 1) Page 10
