A dreamy sensation rose to compete with the pain I felt, and then, unexpectedly, I felt our minds connect through the ka-tet. Through the bond we were sharing, I could suddenly feel his emotions. I felt his fierce joy as the thirst was slowly sated and his gratitude at my desire and stubbornness to feed him.
My own pleasure answered his as I felt his sucking grow gentler. I took pleasure in knowing I was giving him the strength to live, finally able to return the favor. The dreamy detached feeling only became stronger now and the unbearable pain I had felt receded.
I didn’t feel alarm again until my legs abruptly buckled and gave out. I knew the only thing that was supporting me now was Samuel’s arms around me. Too much, I thought hazily. He’s taking too much . . . .
My mind was now reeling with confusion. Suddenly, I felt Samuel jerk upright. I heard him say something, but the words did not penetrate my understanding. I tried to say his name but could not. Darkness engulfed me instead.
Chapter 16
Something cool and wet touched my neck. It was probably meant to feel good, but it brought searing pain. The pain made me gasp and open my eyes.
Samuel’s face came into focus. His eyes were filled with concern. “Julia? Bloody hell, woman, why did you insist on feeding me? I could have killed you!”
I did not take offense at his seeming rebuke, sensing somehow it was Samuel’s way of dealing with his own emotions, which must have unsettled him. “ But you didn’t kill me. You needed the blood, Samuel. You controlled it.” I still felt incredibly sleepy.
Samuel’s face contorted in unusual anger. “If I did this to your throat while in control, I would hate to see what would have happened if I had lost control,” he answered. He gently dabbed at my neck again with one of the cloths.
Piercing pain again flooded my senses. This time I realized it came from my throat and neck. I winced and jerked back. “Do not press so hard, Samuel,” I said in a strangely hoarse voice.
“I’m not. I barely applied any pressure.”
“But the cloth hurts!” I protested. “Being fed off of never hurt this much before.”
Samuel gave me a strange look. “You really do not know . . . or understand.” He gently pressed a small mirror into my hand. I had no idea where he had gotten it. “Look at your throat, Julia.”
He rose and stepped away. I was happy to see that nearly all his burns had healed. His chest, arms, and face were almost flawless again.
I was lying on the blanket on the floor, and now I sat up slowly, immediately feeling very light -headed. I raised the mirror and gaped at the reflection of my neck. Two jagged long tears, though in the process of healing, made me look almost as if I had been mauled by an animal. “Oh! Samuel, how long was I unconscious?” I asked, understanding, remembering.
“For a while. The others just got back from their hunt. Mary Anne said the ka-tet is sitting in the sitting room. Beth’s group is staying in the barn,” Samuel answered. He looked back at me worriedly. “How are you feeling?”
“Rather light -headed. But better,” I assured him. I said nothing about the slight pain that was growing in my stomach. I knew I was weakened, that I needed to feed, but I didn’t want to tell Samuel. I didn’t want him to worry; he felt guilty enough.
I climbed to my hands and knees. Samuel reached down and helped me to my feet. He held me against him gently, waiting for me to regain my balance.
“Julia, I’m sorry I lost control like that. But thank you for wanting to help me. Just be more careful next time. It would have been safer if another ka-tet member had been in here to separate us. I could have drained you without even realizing it.”
His last sentence alarmed me, but I tried not to let it show. “I wanted to help you; I could sense how weak you were and I feared you would have no energy for healing. And yes, I will try to remember to bring someone else in to watch the situation,” I answered. I leaned back against him and realized his chest was still bare. Discomfited, I retreated a few steps from him and looked at Valerie.
Samuel followed my gaze. He sighed and walked to the bed. Sitting down on the bed beside her, he quietly said, “Both you and Valerie are strong. You’re probably stronger than I.”
I snorted, thinking of all the things he could do that I could not. “Come now. You, weaker than I, Samuel? Impossible!”
Samuel shook his head. “Physical strength is not what I’m talking about, Julia. The fire in you burns brighter.”
I was about to protest when he reached out to stroke Valerie’s hair. “Hello, Valerie,” he said. “Matthew will be here soon to feed you.”
I snapped my mouth shut. How could I feel angry at his attentions towards Valerie? I could not. I decided it would be best to leave them alone for a while, and made my way out of the room. Hearing voices down the hallway I walked slowly towards the sound.
Matthew was approaching the room I had just left. He looked at me strangely, I thought, when we passed in the hallway. In the sitting room everyone was seated on chairs that surrounded the fireplace. A couple of coals glowed faintly. No candles or lamps were lit.
Adam looked up when I entered and rose. He came to me and stared at my neck. “What happened?” he asked quietly.
“Someone got carried away with feeding. I will be all right,” I answered, lowering my head so my hair covered some of the wounded flesh.
“Samuel?”
I looked up sharply. “It’s not his fault, Adam!”
Adam’s answer was one I hadn’t been expecting. “I know, Julia. He was starving. He couldn’t control it. Is he all right now?” I nodded, speechless. He seemed so calm about it, despite knowing that Samuel had kissed me just the night before. “Come then. You had better feed off of me before you get that weak. You last fed two nights ago, and there are not many humans around here.”
He gently took my arm and led me to another room. A protest died on my lips as I realized he was right. Samuel had taken a lot, too much, clearly.
Adam shut the door behind me. He then folded back the collar of his shirt. The furnishings of the room went unnoticed as I struggled to keep from pouncing on him immediately.
“Are you sure?” I asked uncertainly even as my eyes focused on his throat. I knew he was still uncomfortable with being a vampire and I did not want to force him into doing something he didn’t want to do, whether it would be good for me or not.
“Just do it, Julia!” It was an order, but an unselfish one. I moved to his side and gently bit into his throat. I cupped the back of his neck with my hand. I began to drink deeply. Our minds quickly connected through the telepathy as Samuel’s and mine had done earlier.
My hunger was lessening as I fed, the pain in my belly fading. Adam’s acceptance and understanding of Samuel’s having fed from me so voraciously filled me with relief. I was also grateful that he had sensed my need and had not been afraid to satisfy it. As far as I knew, we could not hypnotize fellow vampires, so when we fed one of our own, there was pain.
A moment or two later I jerked upright, then took a step back, stopping myself from taking too much. I glanced up into his heavy –lidded eyes.
“Are you all right?” I asked.
Adam caught my hand. “I’m fine.”
He lifted his other hand to tilt my head back. “And you’re looking better,” he continued, inspecting the wounds on my throat.
“I feel better. Steadier,” I answered truthfully. I felt less dizzy now, and stronger. I smiled up at him. Adam wrapped his arms around me. His brown eyes were filled with tender concern.
“We should see how Samuel and Valerie are faring.”
Adam released me and nodded. “All right.”
The rest of our ka-tet was already in Samuel and Valerie’s room. Samuel looked up as we entered. His gaze lingered on me for a long moment. He was still sitting on the bed beside Valerie. �
�I’m sorry, Julia,” he apologized again. “Are you all right?”
“I am fine. Adam let me feed from him.”
Samuel nodded, his face pleasantly neutral at my words. He looked behind me at Adam. “That is good,” Samuel said.
A long, tense silence followed. I fervently hoped that they would not fight again. Their continual bickering was almost unbearable.
“Samuel, I think she is waking up.” Mary Anne’s voice broke through our trance-like state. Samuel and I both looked up, startled at how loud her voice seemed. Samuel looked down at Valerie. I walked closer and looked over his shoulder.
Valerie moaned and stirred feebly. I saw the older vampires exchange looks. Samuel leaned forward and stroked her cheek. “Valerie? Please, Val, wake up,” he pleaded.
Valerie stirred again and her eyes fluttered. I sat down beside Samuel. He took Valerie’s hand. Adam sat down on my other side in the chair Mary Anne had been using earlier.
“Come on Valerie,” I said. “You have to get better so if we ever see Richard again, we can all beat him.”
Christy laughed. Mary Anne and Matthew joined in after a second. Robert and Jeffrey snickered. Adam shook his head in amusement, and even Samuel smiled. “Now, Julia, try to be nice,” he said, endeavoring to keep a straight face.
About ready to start laughing myself, I glanced down and saw Valerie’s eyes flutter open. I touched Samuel’s arm to catch his attention. “Samuel, look.”
Samuel did so, and his eyes widened. “Valerie?” he said softly. Valerie’s eyes turned towards his voice.
“Am I dead?” Valerie asked in a hoarse voice. Everyone found her question amusing. I was laughing so hard I nearly fell off the bed. It felt good to laugh, even though I wasn’t sure if we even knew why we were laughing. Perhaps seeing Valerie awake and able to speak caused the terrible tension we had all been feeling to find its release in laughter.
“Dead? Only if the rest of us are,” Matthew answered, laughing hysterically.
“Nay, Valerie. You are still alive . . . or whatever word you want to use to describe our existence. I think you are the first vampire ever to survive a stake to the heart,” Christy said, grinning.
Valerie shook her head. “Second.”
I gradually calmed down. “You are the second vampire to survive a stake?”
Valerie nodded slightly. “Aye. I guess I am.” She groaned. “Though I may wish I was dead.” Her face tensed with immense pain.
Samuel squeezed her hand. “Do not say that. Who was the other vampire to survive?”
“Someone from a very long time ago. He died long before you were even born, Samuel. I never met him. He was my maker’s maker.”
“That explains why I never heard about it,” Samuel murmured.
Beth leaned into the room. “Samuel, we are headed home. You have a large enough group to worry about without having to worry about us as well.”
Samuel glanced up. “Be careful, Beth.”
She nodded and left. We turned our attention back to Valerie.
“You must be in a lot of pain,” I murmured.
“Aye. But we are safe,” Valerie whispered. Her grasp on Samuel’s hand tightened visibly, a reflex from the pain, I surmised. “But I admit this is the . . . worst pain . . . I have ever felt,” she said in a tight voice. “It feels as if my chest is literally on fire!” A cry of agony escaped her lips.
Mary Anne looked at Samuel. “There has got to be something we can do to help with the pain.”
“Perhaps,” he said, frowning.
“Do herbs and plants have effect on vampires?” I asked.
Samuel nodded. “Certain plants affect us just as they affect humans, but the effects are not always as severe or prolonged. What are you thinking?”
I looked at Adam. “When we were younger, your mother taught you how to find and use healing herbs, did she not?”
Adam nodded. “Aye, but it’s been awhile since I have administered herbs for healing,” he answered. I heard hesitancy in his voice.
Samuel looked at him. “Would you be able to help her? Do you know what can be used in a case like Valerie’s?”
“I do,” Adam stated.
“Then, what is it?” I asked.
Adam shook his head. “I do not know if the different plants we need grow in this area.”
“What do you need?” Christy asked.
“You will need to get some warm cloths ready, as well as a pot of warm water. Some of the herbs are made into a tea,” Adam answered. He stood. “And I will search for the herbs we need.”
Christy nodded. “Aye. Come,” she said to the other four. They left the room.
“What herbs are you looking for?” Samuel asked quietly.
“Comfrey, chamomile, and lobelia.”
“Could I come with you and help you look?” Samuel said. I stared at him in surprise. Adam also looked vaguely surprised.
“If you would like to,” Adam finally answered. Samuel murmured something to Valerie and followed Adam out, leaving me in the room alone with Valerie. I found and lit several candles. The room lit up with light.
I sat down next to the bed. “They will be at each other’s throats before they get any herbs,” I said, shaking my head. “They never seem to be able to do anything else while together.”
Valerie smiled, then grimaced. “Samuel is quite fond of you, Julia,” she said in a whisper.
I looked down at my hands. “He is quite fond of you as well, Valerie.”
“I am glad to know I made such an impression on one of the only fledglings I have ever helped.”
“Valerie?” I said softly.
“Aye, Julia?” she asked, turning her blue -gray eyes on me.
I saw pain in every rigid muscle of her face. I decided to try to distract her from the pain with conversation. I remembered how, in the few times I had had the opportunity to speak with my sister after one of Gregory’s beatings, my pain seemed to lessen, if only for that little while.
“Samuel told me how he met you. How did he recover from what happened?”
Valerie was silent for a minute. “Samuel told me how he met you as well.”
Samuel told Valerie? Why in the world would he tell her, when he knew I wanted no one else to know?
“Did he? I wonder why.” I asked after a moment.
“I asked him how he met you. I was curious because I saw sadness in your eyes. I wanted to make sure he hadn’t taken you by force, though I didn’t truly believe Samuel would do such a thing.”
“If you did not think he would do it, then why doubt him?”
“Vampires who are forced to become vampires often get that same look in their eyes because they miss their human lives. I never thought . . .”
I finished the thought for her. “You never thought that the lingered from my human life, and that Samuel finding me was the best thing that could have happened to me?”
Valerie shook her head gingerly. “But once Samuel explained it to me, I understood. And I shan’t say a word to anyone, Julia. You have my word.”
I raised my head to search her eyes. “Thank you. So how did Samuel recover from seeing his family murdered by vampires? How difficult it must have been for him to learn to live with being one himself! I cannot comprehend how he did it. Pray tell me, Valerie.”
Valerie seemed to ponder what to say. The candlelight flickered, throwing her face into shadow for a few moments.
“It was not easy,” she admitted softly. “He had not wanted to give in to the blood thirst, intending instead to literally starve himself. He did not give in until I reassured him that he did not have to kill to do so unless he wanted to. Yes, when we first met, he actually wanted to die rather than live as a vampire — as the very thing that had killed his family. He barely spoke for weeks. At the time I had never made a vampire. I did not want to deal with the responsibilities of having a fledgling.”
Valerie’s fingers dug into the mattress for a second and then relaxed. Once the
spasm of pain was over, she continued. “That all changed when I met Samuel.”
“What changed your mind?”
“I found out how he became a vampire. The night I met him, the look in his eyes was hopeless. He even told me to kill him then. I knew he wouldn’t have survived on his own. He had neither the knowledge nor, maybe even more importantly, the will to survive. Besides, even if he had survived on his own, he would have been an outcast. Other vampires would have mistakenly thought him insane. Only the insane ones live alone, because they often attack anything. Or anyone.
“So I took Samuel in and taught him all I could in the hope that with patience and understanding, his spirit would revive—that in time he would say more than five words a night. Slowly, excruciatingly slowly it seemed, he got better. He began to talk more and to take interest in us and the things around him again.”
“Thankfully.”
“He recovered slowly, Julia. Just as you are recovering,” Valerie finished. After a moment she asked, “Are they not back yet?”
I listened for a second. “Not yet,” I answered. “I wonder if I should send someone after them.” I frowned slightly and looked back at Valerie uncertainly.
“Go ahead, Julia. You can send someone.”
I nodded and left the room. Glancing towards the kitchen, I called out, “Mary Anne?”
There was silence and then Mary Anne entered the hallway. She looked at me with worried eyes. “Is Valerie all right?”
Slowly I nodded. “Valerie is still in pain but she is not the one I am concerned about right now. Have Adam and Samuel returned?”
“Nay.”
I sighed. “They are taking too long. I fear they may be having another disagreement.”
Anger filled her face. “Oh, Lord! I cannot believe this! They decide to have their male foolishness at the worst of times!” She started back towards the kitchen. “Jeffrey, go find Samuel and Adam!”
I returned to Valerie’s bedside. I didn’t bother to close the door. Her eyes were closed and her face was tense with pain. Her breathing had again grown shallow and labored.
Lost Soul (War of Destiny Book 1) Page 22
