Briggs started to tell her that he would help her, but she went on.
“Let me take you to get a few drinks tomorrow night. We can talk about this then, and you can make your decision. I’m not doing this for you, Briggs, let me make that clear. I’m doing this for me, for my career, for those that need it, and if it helps you along the way, then it’s even better. This isn’t a pity party, because I know you don’t need it. Just think about it.”
“Okay,” he said. He couldn’t get out any more than that. Drinks?
“Okay,” she said, visibly relaxing. Her tension started to drain away; he couldn’t begin to imagine how worked up she must have been getting, waiting for him to come out of the meeting room.
“So it’s a date?” he said, half a statement, half a question.
“Tomorrow night. For me, and not for you.”
Briggs nodded.
“Tell my brother that I’ll be waiting in the car whenever he’s done here,” she said, turning and walking away without even a goodbye.
Then she was out the doors. Briggs felt a cold blast of air hit his body. He sat down on the bench that she had been sitting in, thinking. Was this a date? What the hell had he agreed to?
*
When the meeting ended, Briggs and Toby walked out the front doors together. Like the night before, everyone else disappeared into the night. There had been less people here tonight, and he could tell from scent that even more had decided not to come back the next night. He didn’t blame them: these late night interventions weren’t for everyone.
Toby shivered in the cold night air and told him goodnight. He was in Kat’s car within seconds. As they drove past, Kat pulled up and told him her address. She waved goodnight and accelerated. Briggs raised his left hand, something that was so natural now that he didn’t even have to think of it.
Snow was dusting down in flurries. The wind was cold and biting, but Briggs hardly noticed it. His mind was somewhere else. Somewhere, thinking about Kat and what he had agreed to. What had he agreed to?
He started walking towards where his car was parked, a good three miles away from Golden Valley. For a man with his stride, he could cover the distance quickly, but he didn’t. He took his time, mind roiling and full of turmoil. He was attracted to Kat – hell, how could he not be? She was smart, beautiful, and driven. And she wanted to help him, and while he didn’t need her help, he appreciated the thought.
But I’m dangerous. Dangerous. His thoughts kept coming back to that fact. He tried to push them away, to focus on the good of the situation, but it was true: he was dangerous.
Not just because he was a Shifter, though that was definitely part of it. As far as his kind went, he had always been mild tempered. He was dangerous because of the same reason that Kat wanted to help him: his arm. Losing his arm had been the catalyst that had sent him down this dangerous path.
He shook his head, growled, and turned left into a dark alleyway. Now, he lengthened his stride. His heavy footfalls crunched trash, bottles shattering and Styrofoam crunching underneath his boots. A homeless man shied away from him when he saw his hulking shape coming through the alley, golden eyes blazing in the darkness.
There was a chain link fence blocking the end of the alley. He leaped up, catching the top of it with his hand. He was strong, strong enough to pull his whole body over with just one hand, and then he was on the other side, nearly running now.
He had to Shift, and soon. Inside of him, he could feel the rage building. The shame.
He reached the edge of the city in record time, crunching through the deep underbrush where concrete met the woods. It wasn’t a complete forest, not somewhere he could let himself go completely, but it would have to do. At three in the morning, he prayed that there was no one around watching him.
As he ripped off his shirt, he was dimly aware of the consequences for shifting in city limits and in front of others. Jail time, at minimum, but he didn’t care. If he didn’t shift, if he couldn’t get rid of this pain building inside of him, he thought he would lose himself.
He tossed his clothes into a makeshift pile and began to shift. It wasn’t an instant event, he felt his body morphing, going through all of the changes – his legs growing even thicker, fur exploding through his skin, claws pushing through the tips of his toes and fingers. His face started to lengthen, his vision blurring for a moment before growing even more acute.
And within seconds, he stood there, a massive brown bear on three legs. He would never be complete again – but he felt complete. This was the only time when all of his worries just melted away. Became inconsequential. After he shifted, he was free.
He ran deeper into the woods.
*
He was outside in the woods for a few hours, longer than he should have been, but not as long as he needed. When the first rays of sunlight hit him, warming his fur and melting what little snow remained on the ground, he shifted back into his human form and found his clothes.
They sat in wet pile, but Briggs pulled them on just the same. He started his long walk back to his car parked in the YMCA parking lot. He was chilled now; the difference between the cold clothes and his warm pelt was night and day.
He still made good time back to the Y despite the distance. His car sat forlornly at the far end of the parking lot, close enough that it wouldn’t be considered abandoned, but far enough away that hardly anyone would park next to him. It was old and barely ran, but it was home. He pulled open the door, the locks having long since busted. He slammed the door and pulled a blanket from the back seat over his cool body, thankful for the window tint covering him from the sun, but more importantly, prying eyes.
Briggs peered around, making sure no one was watching him. He leaned the seat back, pulled the blanket up to his neck, and fell into an uneasy sleep.
*
He always felt shameful slinking into the Y. It wasn’t that he wasn’t supposed to be there – he scraped up the money for the monthly fee, but whenever he went in, he felt everyone’s eyes on him. They must know that the only reason he was a member was because he was homeless and needed somewhere to shower, right? But no one ever said anything to him, and for that, he was thankful.
The shame was still there, though.
He turned the hot water on, completely ignoring the cold. When it washed over his body, he let out a bestial growl of pleasure. A couple of other guys gave him wary looks, but he ignored them. The dirt from the night before washed off of him in droves, swirling down the drain.
Briggs thought about last night, still unable to work out what he was thinking. What he was feeling. He wanted Kat, or at least, thought he did. But he knew he could never be around her. Not with his tendencies. He wasn’t safe. She wouldn’t be safe.
But he wanted to make her happy. He wanted to help her, even if he couldn’t care less about her helping him. He hated his situation, yeah, but he managed, didn’t he?
I’m still alive. I’m living day to day. I don’t need anyone’s help. Right?
He told himself he was right, but he wasn’t so sure. He heard the guys leaving the shower and more filing in, but he stayed under the hot spray until he lost track of time, letting his mind wander. Last night had done wonders for him. His rage at his whole life was still there, simmering just in the back of his brain, but he’d pushed it away for the time being.
But it would be back.
He looked down at his arm, imagining what he had used to be like. He felt the anger rising and looked away.
Briggs turned off the hot spray of water and grabbed his towel. He slowly dried off his body, wrapped the towel around his waist, and sat down on a bench, unsure of what was going to happen later. He’d agreed to a date? What was he thinking? He thought about skipping it altogether, but he’d told Kat he would help her – and he meant it. That was one thing he still had going for him: he never broke a promise.
He pulled on his nicest pair of jeans and a button up shirt. Looking at himself in the mirror
, he managed a smile. He looked good, actually. He was thankful he had had the foresight to put away a nice set of jeans and a shirt for situations just like this. It was a welcome change of pace from his ratty and worn look.
He got back to his car, scrounged around for enough money to pay for gas, and decided it was past time to head to meet Kat.
*
The butterflies in Kat’s stomach were so bad they were distracting her from getting ready. She tried painting her nails, but her hands were shaking so bad it was almost impossible. Still, she managed to finish and pulled on a pair of jeans and a nice blouse.
“What do you think?” she asked, walking out into the living room.
Toby looked up from his show, munching on a bag of chips as he took her in. “You look good. You must really want to impress Briggs. You fallin’ for him?”
“No,” Kat said. The truth was, in her brief encounter with him, she had fallen for him. He was attractive. It was undeniable. But she knew nothing could ever come of it. She needed him, but not as a partner – as a test subject. She felt guilty thinking of him like that, but it was the truth. She needed Briggs for the Aegis to be a success. She had to keep him at a distance. She couldn’t get involved with a test subject. “He’s just going to help me with the prototype.”
“Uh-huh,” Toby said, eyes on the screen.
“What? You don’t believe me?” Kat asked. His tone was grating.
“Nope.” Crunch. Crunch.
“Why not?”
“Kat,” he said, turning towards her. “You can’t fool me. I know you’re into him.”
“So what if I am? He’s a test subject,” she said, enunciating the words.
“So what?”
“That means I can’t get involved with him!” she said, dropping to the couch next to him. “Do you just like driving me crazy?”
“Yep,” he said. Crunch. Crunch. “Is there a rule you can’t date a test subject?”
Kat hesitated. “No, but…”
“So what’s the problem?”
“It’s not good form.” It’s not in my code, she should have said.
“Uh-huh,” Toby said, and that was that.
*
There was a knock at the door a while later. Kat started to get up, but Toby got off of the couch and jumped over the table, the bag of chips falling to the ground and spilling.
“Toby!”
He didn’t even look back as he flung the door open. Briggs stood it the doorway, filling it entirely with his massive body. He smiled as he saw Toby and Kat behind him, looking furious.
“How’s it going, Toby?” Briggs asked.
“Good, man. Want to come in?”
Toby moved inside and Briggs followed. Kat watched his golden eyes assessing the room. She couldn’t imagine what she would do if he hated it. But he seemed content and a small smile touched his lips. She didn’t think he noticed.
“Toby, pick up the chips, please,” Kat told him. Then she moved over to Briggs. “Hello, Mr. Dawson.”
“Crawford,” Toby whispered as he bent down to the grab the bag and crumbs.
“Hello, Miss Crawford. Are you ready for our date?”
“It’s not a date,” Kat corrected.
From the floor, came a cough that sounded suspiciously like, “Bullshit!”
“Toby!”
Both men gave each other a sly grin, as if they were in on some sort of inside joke that Kat had no clue about. She grabbed Briggs by the upper arm, felt him tense up for a split second – and then angled him out the doorway. He went easily.
“There’s twenty dollars on the fridge,” Kat quietly told Toby as she left. His eyes glittered. “For pizza only, Toby. I swear, if you use it for anything else – you’ll be out on the street.”
“Yeah, yeah. Not even Chinese?”
“Toby!”
He laughed at that, and she shut the door.
“Tough love, huh?” Briggs asked. Kat felt herself going red. She thought she had been whispering to Toby, but obviously, Briggs’ hearing was better than she had anticipated. “You’re good for him, you know.”
“I hope so,” she said, leading the way to her car.
“I can drive,” Briggs offered, pointing to a little dinky car sitting in front of her house. It was a faded red, rust spots above the wheels, with peeling window tint. It was small – Kat couldn’t imagine Briggs even fitting into the thing, let alone driving in it. He looked at her sheepishly. “But honestly, I would prefer not to.”
They shared a laugh and climbed into her car. “I’m the one that set all of this up. I figured I should do the driving.”
He nodded. “So where are we going?”
“There’s this little honky tonk joint up by the lake. It’s a pretty run down little place, but my boss swears by it. Says it’s the cheapest drinks in the entire city. And good food, too. I’ve never had it, and I figured it would be a good place to go and check out.”
“Sounds good to me,” Briggs said. “I have to say, I’m glad you didn’t pick some fancy upscale club. Not really my style.”
“Same here,” Kat said, though she truthfully didn’t know what her style was. She caught a quick glance of Briggs, hoping he wouldn’t notice her prying eyes. He was looking out the window, enjoying the view as they left the main part of the city behind. They weren’t so different, she decided. They were both intense in their own ways.
“I think it’s up here,” she explained, turning off of the highway and onto a dirt road. They followed it for a few minutes, and sure enough, there was small bar up on the right side of the road.
“Looks like my kind of place,” Briggs said, peering out of the windshield. It looked like a small town bar: flashing signs, cars and bikes parked out front, and a couple of people in the parking lot. Not that Kat had ever really been to one.
Kat raised an eyebrow at him, but said nothing. It was definitely not her kind of place, but she wasn’t going to let him know that. Together, they got out of the car and walked to the front of the bar. Briggs extended his arm to her, which she gratefully accepted. Her heart started to beat faster, but then she chided herself. She wasn’t here on a date, she was here to talk to Briggs about the prototype.
Then why did I choose to take him out for drinks? she questioned herself.
Briggs slipped his arm from her grasp and opened the door for her. Kat entered, the dim lights barely showing anything. She made out a whole bunch of patrons, most drinking at the bar and a few on the dance floor. Briggs followed her inside. She heard him sniffing behind her, taking the whole scene in.
“Do you want to grab some food?” she asked.
“I could use a drink first,” Briggs admitted.
She laughed, “Okay, good. That’s just what I need, too.”
They walked over to the bar and after a few moments of waiting, Briggs ordered two beers. He tossed a five down on the counter, telling the bartender to keep the change. They leaned against it, not saying much at first, sipping their drinks and taking the bar in.
Kat noticed that more than a few of the locals were glancing over at them. She wasn’t sure if they were looking at them just because they were newcomers, or if it had to do with Briggs. If they were looking at Briggs, what were they looking at? His massive body? His golden eyes? His missing arm? Hell, they could even just be looking at how they were dressed. Most of the locals were still in their work clothes.
MARS (BBW Bear Shifter MC Romance) (MC Bear Mates Book 1) Page 24
