by Susan Stoker
“It was Zariya. The bastard had shaved her head. Bald. Probably to punish her for something she’d done. He was in bed, on top of her. She was whimpering and crying, but he didn’t even care. My buddies and I were pissed, and one took hold of my arm and tried to pull me out of the room. I remember staring at him as if he was crazy. We couldn’t leave her there. Not like that. Then he pointed to the side of the room. To a white dress. A fucking wedding dress. Zariya’s parents had allowed her to be married to a man at least four times her age. And he was raping her.”
Ryder heard Felicity’s gasp, but he didn’t stop. Couldn’t. “I snapped. My buddies said that she was married and we couldn’t interfere with local customs. They were going to let that man continue to hurt her. Night after night. Not caring that she was only a little girl. I didn’t give a shit if that was all right in their culture. Didn’t care that I might start an international incident and hurt relations in that village. I walked right up to that fucker and blew his brains out. I tore him away from Zariya and reached for her. I wanted to comfort her, needed to tell her that everything would be all right, but she freaked. Screamed her head off. Scrambled to get away from me. Curled up into a little ball in the corner of the room and refused to look at me.
“Before that, she’d been following me around for weeks, smiling, holding on to my jacket as we walked around the village. Not once had she ever been scared of me. Not once, Felicity.”
“What happened to her?”
Ryder whipped his head around to look at Felicity. “What?”
“What happened to Zariya?” she asked again.
Ryder sighed and brought a hand up to run it through his hair. “I don’t know. I was dragged back to base and put in isolation when I wouldn’t calm down. Then they shipped me to Germany and back to the States.”
Felicity looked horrified. “What?”
Ryder shrugged. “I was knocked down two ranks to private and was told that if I brought up the ‘incident’ again, I’d be dishonorably discharged. I was ashamed of losing control and didn’t want to have to tell my mom what had happened. So I dropped it.”
“Assholes.”
Ryder once again looked at Felicity in surprise.
“I mean, really?” she went on. “That guy totally deserved what he got. And I can’t believe your buddies didn’t do anything. I mean, they could’ve made up a story about how the guy attacked you or something. They knew what he was doing, and they let you take the fall. That’s not cool. And then not to go back and help poor Zariya . . . and get her out of there and to the States? And not to tell you what happened to her? After you saved her? Fuck. Maybe we can ask Alexis if she can find her. No, I know, she can ask that guy who’s been teaching her how to hack if he can track her down. She said that he’s got all sorts of military contacts. How old would she be now? Twenty-one? Twenty-two? I’m sure—”
Ryder put his hand over Felicity’s mouth and smiled at her. She glared up at him, sparks shooting out of her eyes.
“As fucking happy as I am to see an emotion in your eyes besides fear, love, I don’t want to find her.” He moved his hand away from her mouth, brushing the pad of his thumb along her bottom lip as he did. She opened her mouth to protest, and he quickly explained himself. “Iraq is a world away from here. The fact of the matter is that she was probably hustled out of there by her parents. They probably pawned her off on another man, just as old as the one I killed, as soon as they could. I hate it. So fucking much, but there’s nothing I can do.”
“But, Ryder . . .”
“No, love. My point in telling you that story wasn’t to distress you.”
“Then what was your point?” she asked, clearly disgruntled.
“That was the first man I killed, but it wasn’t the last.”
She was silent for a long moment before saying, “He deserved it.”
“He did.”
“And I bet the others did too.”
Her tone was matter-of-fact. It wasn’t a question. She wasn’t looking for verification of her statement, but he gave it to her nevertheless.
“They did.”
His job with Mountain Mercenaries had been a godsend. Exactly what he’d needed as an outlet for his bitterness and anger. He tracked down awful human beings who needed to be taken out . . . and he did what needed to be done. He wasn’t ashamed of what he did for a living, but he wasn’t exactly proud of it either. But if he wanted Felicity to trust him with her secrets, he needed to trust her with his own.
Felicity licked her lips, and Ryder wanted nothing more than to taste them. Taste her. But now wasn’t the time. He wanted everything from her before he’d let himself touch her.
The fear was back in her eyes as she said, “He’s powerful.”
Ryder knew who she was talking about. Whoever was after her. “I expected as much.”
“And rich. And used to getting what he wants.”
“Yeah, bullies usually are. Let me help protect you. Let me in.”
“I’m scared.”
To hear her admit it was everything. She’d hidden behind her tough exterior for a long time, so her admitting she was frightened was the first step toward her trusting him. Allowing herself to be vulnerable around him. Her words were a tiny crack in the impenetrable shell she’d worn for so long to protect herself.
“I know you are. And I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make sure you’re never scared again. But I need a name. Just a name for now, love.”
She loosened her hand from his for the first time, and as much as Ryder hated to let her go, he did. She needed her space, and he’d give it to her . . . but not too much. He didn’t move from her side. He moved his now free hand to her thigh and simply let the warmth from his body seep into hers.
If he wanted her to open up to him, it was only fair he did the same. He’d opened the door to his soul a crack with the story about Zariya, but he needed to throw it wide open. Let her know exactly who he was and why she could trust him. Why she should trust him.
“I was approached when I was back in the States at my Army base. I was doing some bullshit job as punishment when I was contacted by a man who said he’d heard about what happened and had investigated me. He said he needed someone like me, who wasn’t afraid to do what needed to be done, to join a special group. I was hesitant at first, but after going to Colorado Springs and meeting the other men who would be on the team, I agreed. He got me out of the rest of my Army commitment, I didn’t ask how, and I became a mercenary. I became a part of a close-knit group who went where we were told, when we were told. At first I wanted to know the details of every job I went on. Why the man I was hunting was bad. Why he needed to die. And every time a bit of my soul died when I learned why. Sex slavers, kidnappers, terrorists, stalkers, murderers . . . they were all bad men, love. Every single one. I had no problem killing them. After a while I stopped asking why. I trust my handler, Rex, that much.”
Felicity wasn’t looking at him now. Her head was turned, and he could see her pulse hammering in her throat. He forced himself to continue. She needed to accept his past. In order for them to work, she needed to come to terms with it. Just as he had long ago.
“I won’t apologize for what I’ve done. For what needed to be done. Ultimately, I couldn’t save Zariya, but I could save others like her. Children were reunited with their parents, wives were returned to their husbands and families, people were given peace from the nightmares that plagued them. I can do the same for you, Felicity. I’ve got the resources and friends who do what I do, who will help me. But here’s the truth . . . I’m done being a mercenary. I’ve served my country, in public and private ways, but I’m a liability now.”
Her eyes came to him at that. “A liability?”
“Yeah. The last thing I want is for someone to use my family against me—I think you know exactly what I’m talking about. When it was just me and my mom, I could keep that relationship on the down low, but my circle is bigger now. Way bigger. And th
at circle now includes you. The last thing I want is to make you safe only to expose you to additional danger because of my job.”
“Can you . . .” Her voice petered out.
“What, love? I’m an open book to you. I’ve told you things I’ve never revealed to another soul. You can ask me anything.”
“Can you just . . . quit? I mean . . . it doesn’t seem like that’s something you could just decide to walk away from.”
“I can. And I will. This isn’t the Mafia, Felicity. Everyone on the team knows at any time they can be done with it. It’s one of the reasons we all agreed in the first place. The bottom line is that once I rid you of whoever is putting that petrified look in your eyes, whoever broke you, I’m done with that life. I know this is hard for you. You’ve been on your own for a long time. Held everything inside a long time. All I need is his name. I’ll take it from there. After that, anything you want to tell me comes at your own speed. I’ll never pressure you for information . . . unless it’s absolutely necessary to protect you.”
Felicity moved then. Not away from him, as Ryder thought, but toward him. She simply leaned over and fell into him. His arms came up and caught her. She rested her head on his shoulder and put her face against his neck and sat there, her arms at her sides. Not hugging him, not saying a word.
The only movement Ryder made was to encircle her with his arms. He’d sit there for days if that was what she needed.
It was an hour before either of them spoke again. He’d leaned back against the cushions of the couch, making them both as comfortable as possible. He’d thought Felicity had fallen asleep, as her steady, warm breaths against his skin had been rhythmic and even for the last thirty minutes.
But she wasn’t.
It was only two words.
Two words that would change both their lives.
“Joseph Waters,” Felicity whispered into the quiet of the room.
Chapter Five
The next day, Ryder made a phone call.
“Hey, Gray, it’s Ace.”
“Ace! Where’d you run off to? Haven’t seen you around The Pit in a while. Black and Arrow are jonesin’ to challenge you to a game of pool too.”
Ryder smiled. It was nice to be missed. They’d seen too many instances in their line of work of people disappearing who weren’t missed until months had gone by. He wasn’t the most social of men, but even though he’d only been gone for a little more than a week, Gray and the others had noticed. “I had something to do up in Castle Rock. Listen, I need a favor.”
“Anything.” Gray’s answer was immediate and heartfelt.
They were a ragtag group, but they could trust and rely on each other with no questions asked. They’d had each other’s backs more than once. They weren’t a sanctioned special forces team, but they sure acted like it when they were on a mission. “I need as much information as you can find on a Joseph Waters. I don’t know where he’s from, what he does, or even what he looks like.”
“Shit, man, I thought you were going to give me a challenge.”
Ryder couldn’t help but grin at Gray’s sarcasm. He could imagine the tall man leaning on his cue in the pool hall with a disgruntled look on his face. For a man who was six-five, and whom everyone gave a wide berth because of his perpetual scowl and very muscular physique, he had a knack for becoming invisible while on jobs. It was weird, but no one ever seemed to see him when he was in stealth mode. But he was no computer genius—that would be Meat.
“Talk to Meat. He loves this shit. If I get more info, I’ll get it to you guys.”
“You got anything else?” Gray asked.
“My woman is scared to death of him. If I had to guess, he’s stalking her. She’s been on the run for years. Changed her appearance, operates with only cash, and is willing to give up being a godmother to adorable twin boys to bolt once more. Inquiry needs to be discreet,” Ryder warned. “By the way she’s acting, I’m guessing the asshole already knows where she is, but I’m not willing to risk her life in order to get more information.”
“Your woman?” Gray asked.
“My woman,” Ryder confirmed firmly.
“She’s been on the run for years?” Gray asked.
And this was why Ryder called Gray instead of any of the others. He had a soft spot for women. Rex knew this and frequently assigned the large man to jobs where a woman or child was in danger. It motivated him to get the job done as fast as possible. Ryder didn’t know Gray’s history, but had no doubt it involved a woman.
“Yeah. My guess is anywhere from five to ten years.”
“Her name?”
“Felicity Jones.”
“That her real name?” Gray asked.
Ryder sighed. He loved Felicity’s name . . . hated to think that it might be made up. But now that he thought about it, Felicity probably wasn’t her birth name. “Not sure, but probably fake.”
“I’ll talk to Meat. See what we can come up with. You need backup? Should I call Rex? Arrow and Ball are here playing pool with me. They could come up if you needed extra eyes or ears.”
Ryder shook his head even though his friend couldn’t see it. “No, I’m good for now. You heard of Ace Security?”
“Of course. They’re those brothers who single-handedly took down the Inca Boyz. They’re new in town, right? Just started last year?”
“Yeah, that’s them.”
“Wait . . . Ace . . . Ace Security . . . what aren’t you saying?”
“They’re my half brothers.”
“No shit?”
“No shit.”
“Damn,” Gray breathed. “You weren’t kidding when you said you didn’t need backup. From what I’ve read, they’re pretty badass.”
Ryder chuckled. “They can hold their own . . . but they aren’t like us.”
“It sounds like you’ve got a lot to tell us,” Gray said.
“I do.”
“You bring Miss Felicity down here soon. I want to meet her.”
“Not sure that’s the best idea.”
“Actually, it’s a great idea. If this Joseph guy knows where she is, the best place for her to be is smack-dab in the middle of a bunch of mercenaries who can protect her.”
“I can protect her. No matter where she is,” Ryder growled.
“Easy, Ace. I didn’t mean nothin’.”
Ryder took a deep breath. He knew he was overreacting, but the mere thought that his good friend didn’t think Felicity was safe didn’t sit well.
“Yeah, sorry. I’m a little sensitive when it comes to her.”
“She’s it for you, huh?”
“Yup.”
“She know about what you do?”
“Some.”
“And she didn’t freak?”
“No.”
Gray whistled low. “Hang tight and don’t let her go, Ace. Any woman who knows our background and doesn’t immediately run is a keeper.”
“I’m not letting her go,” Ryder told his friend.
“Good,” was Gray’s simple response. “I’ll talk to Meat, put out some feelers. See what we can find. Stay in touch.”
“I will. Thanks, Gray.”
“No thanks necessary. You want me to talk to Rex about your future availability?”
“Not yet,” Ryder told him. If things worked out with Felicity and he needed to step away from the jobs, he’d tell their handler himself.
“Later.”
“Bye, Gray.” Ryder clicked off the phone and put his cell back into his pocket. He’d spent the night at the hotel last night, but no more. Felicity was in danger, and he wasn’t letting her out of his sight for another night. She was freaked. Way freaked. Which meant she probably had a reason.
He shut the door to the hotel room and swung his duffel bag over his shoulder. He needed to spend more time with her, get her to trust him more. The more she realized he wasn’t going anywhere and would protect her with his life, the more she’d open up to him . . . at least he hoped so. He didn
’t need information in order to protect her, but it would make his job a hell of a lot easier.
Ryder strode into Rock Hard Gym and lifted his chin at Cole, who was manning the front desk.
Cole eyed him for a beat, then asked, “You find out what’s bothering Felicity?”
It wasn’t the place to talk with all the people walking around, but Ryder needed to give him something. He’d seen the way Cole and Felicity acted around each other. They were friends, which was a good thing. If the other man had showed any inclination to want Felicity as more than a friend, he would’ve had to set him straight. Ryder wouldn’t let anyone get between him and the woman he wanted to make his. But since it was obvious they were just friends, Cole could be a powerful ally to help keep Felicity safe.
“She’s scared. Petrified.”
“Felicity?” Cole asked. “That woman isn’t scared of anything or anyone.”
Ryder was getting tired of people not seeing the real Felicity. “She’s tough, I’ll give you that, but I’m telling you, she’s on the verge of bolting even if you don’t give her the money. It’s clear as day if you take the time to look.”
Ryder knew he’d crossed a line when Cole’s eyes narrowed and his lips pressed together. “You’ve been here, what . . . a week? I’ve known her for five years, man. Five years. We’re best friends. If she was scared of something, she would’ve told me.”
Ryder mentally shrugged. Looked like this would be the place to talk to Cole, after all, since he wasn’t going to let it go. “Look at her,” Ryder ordered, using his head to indicate the wall of windows where Felicity was standing. She was in the room with the weight and cardio machines. It was a busy morning—most of the treadmills and half of the ellipticals were occupied. Members roamed the room using the various weight machines and doing sit-ups on the pads strewn around the area.
Felicity had her hands resting on the wall behind her, at the small of her back, and her eyes never stopped scanning. They flitted from one person to another. Assessing. Scrutinizing each and every person. Someone dropped a weight nearby, and Felicity jumped and took three steps away from where the noise came from before stopping herself. She laughed, but it was easy to see, even from this distance, that it had been forced.
