by Susan Stoker
Her head tilted, giving him more room, and he didn’t hesitate to take advantage. His tongue speared through her lips, tangling with hers, memorizing her feel and taste. One hand moved to her nape to hold her against him, and the other trailed down her body and came to rest on her breast, right over her heart. He didn’t grope her, merely wanted to feel the beat of her heart under his hand.
They kissed for several minutes. Neither willing to be the first to pull away. Felicity participated in the kiss the same way she did everything else . . . with all she had. She didn’t meekly sit there and let him kiss her—her tongue pushed against his and learned every inch of his mouth. When he growled, she moaned right back. She took what she wanted.
And it was hot as hell.
Ryder felt her heart thumping under his hand, and he wanted nothing more than to pick her up and throw her down on the couch he’d been sleeping on for the last week and show her without words that she belonged to him. That he’d keep her safe. That he’d kill anyone who dared hurt her. But the vibration of her phone brought him back to his senses.
It rattled against the tabletop with every text that came through.
Ryder pulled back and ran his hand over the top of her head. He licked his lips and tasted her on him. His cock was rock hard, and it took everything he had to remove his hand from her chest and reach for her phone. He handed it to her without breaking eye contact.
She blushed, but accepted the cell. She looked down and chuckled. “Alexis is impatient. Says that if I’m not over at her house in fifteen minutes, she won’t be responsible for what she does to Grace’s babies.”
“She’s not much of a kid person?” Ryder asked.
“No, it’s not that. She loves kids. But I think sometimes having the twins is a bit overwhelming for her.”
“Then we should get over there and let you give her a hand,” Ryder said softly.
She nodded, but when he stood up, she asked, “Um . . . Ryder?”
“Yeah, love?”
“What are we doing? We can’t start something with him out there.”
“We already have.” And with that, Ryder turned his back on her to grab his jacket. If she thought she was going to backtrack and pretend he hadn’t gotten under her skin, she was mistaken. That kiss hadn’t been an I’m-testing-things-out-to-see-if-I-might-like-you kiss.
It was a claiming.
Chapter Eight
“What is up with the two of you?” Alexis asked quietly two hours later.
Felicity looked down at the baby in her arms so she didn’t have to look at Alexis and shrugged. “What do you mean?”
“Don’t play dumb, girl. You and Ryder have been stealing glances at each other all afternoon.
“It’s complicated,” Felicity told her.
“It’s really not,” Alexis argued.
“It is. Besides, I haven’t known him that long.”
“I knew the first time I saw Blake that he was the man for me,” Alexis said without a trace of self-consciousness.
Felicity gaped at her. “You did?”
“Yup. And he only saw me as an annoying younger chick who he had to work with.”
“There’s no way. He loves you.”
“He does,” Alexis agreed. “Now. But when he first met me, he thought I was a rich spoiled brat who was fucking around and only wanted to work at Ace Security for some reason he didn’t know or understand.”
“Wow. What changed?”
Alexis shrugged. “I guess he got to know me. Saw how much I enjoyed what I did. That I wasn’t going to up and quit.” She flipped her light-brown hair behind her shoulder and smirked. “Then he took a look at all this”—she indicated her curvy body with a hand—“and couldn’t resist.”
Both women chuckled.
“It’s different with me and Ryder. I think he’s just . . .” Felicity’s voice trailed off. She didn’t know what Ryder was. “He’s one of those guys who wants to make sure everyone is safe. He doesn’t like injustice.”
Alexis’s eyes narrowed as she eyed Felicity. “That might be true, but that is not why he’s giving you fuck-me eyes.”
“Alexis!” Felicity admonished and covered Nate’s ears. “You can’t say things like that around the babies.”
The other woman laughed. “They’re like five months old. They have no idea what I’m saying. And don’t change the subject. I know what I see. And if you think he’s only sticking by your side because he wants to get the bad guy, you’re insane.”
Felicity snuck another look over at Ryder. He was sitting next to Blake, and they were both bent over a stack of papers, flicking through them. Every now and then they’d exchange words, but for the most part, they were concentrating on whatever it was they were looking for.
Just as she looked over at him, Ryder looked up, catching her eye. He smiled at her and mouthed, “You okay?”
She nodded and forced her gaze away from him back to little Nate in her arms. The baby was adorable and sound asleep. Both he and his brother had been fussy when they’d arrived, but after a bottle and some snuggling, they were sleeping once more.
“He can’t go more than a couple of minutes before checking on you,” Alexis said softly.
“He’s going to get hurt because of me,” Felicity said, looking at her friend.
“No, he’s not.”
“He is. I’m poison to be around. I shouldn’t be here. I—”
“Look at him, Felicity,” Alexis ordered.
Without thought, she did as she was ordered. Alexis kept talking, soft and low so the men couldn’t hear her.
“He’s strong. He’s going to find that asshole harassing you and make it stop. And don’t get mad—Blake only told me the basics. Ryder is the kind of man who would happily stand between you and the world. Give him a chance, and he’ll change your life in so many wonderful ways. He knows what he’s doing. I don’t know his history, but Blake told me the other night that he’s truly one of the best in the security field. And that means a lot coming from him—Ryder isn’t exactly his favorite person. So if he says he’s good, he’s good.”
Felicity turned to Alexis. “I want to, but—”
“No buts,” Alexis whispered. “Help him do his job, Felicity.”
“How?”
“Talk to him. Tell him everything you can about whoever is after you. Why he’s after you. Everything.”
“But if I tell him everything, he won’t like me anymore.”
Alexis shifted baby Ace in her arms and scooted closer to Felicity. “Bullshit.”
“Alexis. Language!” Felicity admonished again.
The other woman chuckled. “When I first met you, I was so intimidated by you. I thought you were some sort of motorcycle chick who ate those weaker than you for breakfast. But you hardly ever swear, and sometimes I think you’re nicer than Grace is . . . and that’s saying something. Seriously, Felicity. That man doesn’t give a shit what’s in your past. All he sees is you, and he likes what he sees.”
Her words were so close to what Ryder had said earlier that day that Felicity flinched.
Alexis continued. “I’m so in love with Blake, I don’t know what I’d do without him and can’t remember my life before him. When I was in trouble and the Inca Boyz had me, the only thing I could think about was holding on for Blake. I knew he’d move heaven and earth to get to me. You can’t be afraid to live life, Felicity. Yeah, you’ve got more troubles right now than the average person, but life isn’t guaranteed. You could die in a car crash tomorrow. Or Ryder could. You only have one life to live.”
Felicity stared at Alexis. “How’d you get so smart?” She whispered.
“Experience.”
Ryder couldn’t stop himself from glancing up at Felicity every couple of minutes. He couldn’t get their earlier kiss out of his mind, and it seemed that she couldn’t either. He’d catch her looking at him every now and then, and every time he did, she’d blush.
He wasn’t sure it was the
best idea for him to bring her to his brother’s house when he knew Blake wasn’t exactly fond of him, but Ryder wasn’t going to leave her side, not if he could help it. And he thought Felicity spending some time with Alexis and her godbabies might be good for her.
And it seemed it was.
She was visibly more relaxed.
And he couldn’t believe how amazing she looked with little Nate in her arms. He hadn’t really thought about having children, but seeing Felicity holding a baby did something to him. Made him want what his brother had. He wanted a family . . . with Felicity. Ached to see her round with his child. She’d make an amazing mother, and he wanted to experience every second of it with her. Morning sickness, hormones out of control, even the birth. He wanted to be right at her side the first time they heard their child take his or her first breath.
“I think I found it!” Blake said enthusiastically.
Ryder almost dropped the stack of papers he’d been holding at Blake’s loud exclamation. Shaking his head to try to get his head back into what they were doing, he went to stand behind Blake.
His brother was holding an envelope as if it contained anthrax instead of a simple piece of paper.
“That’s my mom’s handwriting,” Ryder confirmed. When Blake didn’t move to open the letter, he asked, “Want me to do it?”
Blake shook his head. Alexis came up next to him and awkwardly put her arm around him since she was still holding baby Ace. “Blake?”
“It’s just that . . . he was married. He shouldn’t have done it,” Blake said softly.
“Your dad was miserable,” Alexis consoled. “With three babies at home. I’m sure your mom was making his life hell. You can’t blame him for looking elsewhere for affection.”
Blake looked up at Alexis. “I’d never cheat on you, Lex. I don’t care how many crying babies we had at home.”
Alexis put her hand on Blake’s face. “I know you wouldn’t. But then again, I would never hit you. Scream at you and throw a cast-iron pot at your head.” Her words were affectionate and soft, but laced with steel. “You can’t judge people until you’ve stood in their shoes. I know you loved your dad, and experienced some of the same abuse he did, but you aren’t him. You can’t judge him based on our marriage.”
Blake sighed and looked back down at the letter in his hand. Then up at Ryder. “You seen this?”
Ryder shook his head. “No. My mom only told me she wrote him, not exactly what she said.” He felt more than saw Felicity come up beside him. She stood next to him, supporting him, without saying a word.
Blake hesitated for a beat, then opened the flap of the envelope and pulled out a piece of paper. He unfolded it and laid it flat on the desk in front of him.
All four adults gasped at what they saw.
The cursive lettering on the page was feminine and neat, but it was the word scrawled diagonally across the page that had surprised them all.
BITCH
No one said anything for a couple of seconds, then Ryder said dryly, “That’s not my mom’s handwriting.”
Blake picked up the letter and said, “Most of this is still legible.” Then he began to read.
Ace,
I know you’re probably surprised to hear from me, but I couldn’t leave this earth and not contact you. I’ve felt guilty for years for keeping this from you, but I knew you did what you thought was the right thing. I’ve never blamed you for leaving me, in fact, it only made me love and respect you more.
We have a son, Ace. I found out I was pregnant two months after you left. I don’t know how it happened, we were always so careful, but I don’t regret having him.
I named him Ryder Ace Sinclair. He knows about you. I didn’t hide who you were from him while he was growing up, except where you lived. He looks so much like you it sometimes makes my heart hurt looking at him. He graduated at the top of his high school class and did a stint in the Army. He works in security now, keeping people safe. I’m so proud of him, and I know you would be too.
I don’t expect you to do anything at this point. I don’t have much longer to live, cancer, but I’m not writing this letter to get your pity. I don’t regret one second of our time together. There wasn’t ever anyone who lived up to my expectations when it came to a man. You set the bar too high.
Maybe someday, if you think it’s safe, you’d consider meeting Ryder? He knows everything now. I talked to him last night.
I still love you, Ace. I never stopped. I hope you’re happy, it’s all I ever wanted for you.
Love,
Patricia
Ryder took a deep breath. His mom’s love for Ace was loud and clear in her letter. He’d known she loved the married man she’d had an affair with that resulted in his conception, but he hadn’t known.
He stole a glance over to Felicity. Now he understood. He had no idea how his mom had the strength to let Ace Anderson go. There was no way he could watch Felicity walk out of his life. Especially knowing she was living in an abusive relationship. No way.
As if she’d heard his thoughts, Felicity brought her eyes up to his. “She let him go because she loved him so much.”
Ryder’s heart felt as if it stopped beating for a moment, then kicked into gear again, double the speed it had been. Felicity was right. Whatever Ace Anderson had said to his mother when he left had kept her away. She’d done it because she loved him. With all her heart.
“My mom found this,” Blake said in a weird tone as he stared at the letter with the awful word scrawled across it. “I recognize her handwriting.” He turned the envelope over and fingered the postmark. “This arrived the day my dad was murdered.”
Ryder sucked in a breath. No. Without thought, his hand clamped on Blake’s shoulder. He didn’t know what to say, but he wanted to let his brother know he was sorry, so very sorry.
Felicity shifted behind him, and Ryder realized she was reaching out to take baby Ace from Alexis. As soon as Alexis’s arms were free, she kneeled down next to Blake and wrapped her arms around him.
Blake buried his head in Alexis’s hair, and they held each other.
“Come on,” Ryder told Felicity. She was holding both babies now, and he steered her away from the desk and the grieving couple. Ryder’s head was spinning with the knowledge he’d just learned as well. He couldn’t help but feel guilty. He didn’t have anything to do with his mom writing the letter or what his father’s wife had done, but still . . .
“It wasn’t your fault,” Felicity said, as if she really could read his mind.
“I know, love. It’s just so sad,” Ryder returned.
He settled them both on the couch, then reached out and took Nate from her arms. The little guy was heavier than he looked. Ryder then leaned over and pulled out his phone. The information they’d gleaned was huge. Blake needed his brother’s support.
An hour later, Logan, Grace, Bailey and her brother, Joel, and Nathan were all gathered in Blake’s house. It was a tight fit, as the house wasn’t huge, but no one seemed to notice.
Felicity was sitting on Ryder’s lap on the couch, and Grace was sitting next to her with baby Ace in her arms. Logan was pacing next to the couch, bouncing an irritable Nate in his arms. Blake was sitting in a large easy chair with Alexis in his lap, and Nathan was sitting on the love seat with Bailey at his side. Joel was sitting cross-legged on the floor at their feet.
“So, we think Dad got this letter, and Mom found it?” Logan asked.
Blake nodded. “That, or Dad showed it to her.”
“Why would he do that?” Nathan asked. “He knew better than anyone how she would’ve reacted.”
No one answered his question for a beat. Then Grace spoke up. “What if he showed it to her hoping she’d get mad enough to divorce him? Or at least tell him to get out? I mean . . . he obviously knew she was violent, but maybe he realized how much he loved Ryder’s mom and wanted Rose to do something drastic so he could leave.”
“She did something drastic, all right
,” Alexis said in a quiet voice.
“Or he got the letter and was going to hide it, so she never saw it, but Rose found it anyway,” Bailey added. “Then freaked out and confronted him about it.”
“Regardless, who hid it back in all of Dad’s papers, and why?” Logan mused, still rocking and pacing with his restless son.
“I should’ve looked through his stuff earlier,” Blake lamented.
Ryder’s head spun. He hated seeing the men he’d come to respect so confused and heartsick. “Does it matter?” he asked in a lull in the conversation. “I mean, what happened is done. We can’t change it. I wish my mom didn’t write the letter, then maybe you guys would still have your dad.”
“If she didn’t write the letter, we wouldn’t have come back to Castle Rock,” Nathan said matter-of-factly. “Grace would possibly still be under the thumb of her parents; Blake, you and Alexis wouldn’t have met; and Bailey could’ve been hurt badly by Donovan.” His eyes dropped to Joel, making his point without actually saying a word. Then he looked back up at Ryder. “And we wouldn’t have met our half brother. I’m sorry it happened. I hate that Dad never got to meet our women or his grandkids. But we can’t change the past.”
“Nathan, you have always had a way with words,” Logan said softly, sitting on the arm of the couch. Grace reached over and put a hand on his knee in silent support.
Blake sighed huge and looked over to Ryder. “I’m sorry I’ve been a dick.”
Ryder stared at his brother in shock. His words seemed to come out of left field.
“I was so disappointed in Dad and the fact that he’d broken his marriage vows, I didn’t think about much else. But really, Mom broke them first. There was no love, honoring, or cherishing in her relationship with Dad. It’s stupid that I was upset with him when Mom was the one who constantly hurt us growing up. Not to mention she murdered him, for God’s sake. But Dad was honoring his vows by giving up your mom, and ultimately died as a result. Yeah, he cheated, but with three babies, and a wife who didn’t treat him as she should, it’s no wonder he looked elsewhere for affection. But when push came to shove, he sacrificed his own happiness to come home. To come back to where he was denigrated, yelled at, and beaten. But he did it for us. He sacrificed his happiness for us.”
