She kissed me and her lips felt incredible on mine. Even kissing her felt like a betrayal when I still hadn't told her the truth.
She took a small step back and pulled her tank top off over her head. My eyes were fixed on her flawless body as she moved closer and pushed against mine and kissed me again. We edged closer to the bed until I felt it against the backs of my legs.
I knew I needed to stop this, but feeling her so close to me was amazing. It would be okay. I would drive here to see her as often as I could and maybe she could even meet me half way.
She removed my shirt and her lips found their way to my neck. My eyes slowly closed and I kept trying to convince myself that we could make it work. I would text her every day no matter how busy I was. Her lips moved up to mine, kissing me hungrily. I unfastened her bra and slowly took it off of her.
I sat down in the bed and pulled Maddy to me. It would be fine. We would call each other on the phone at least once a week. I lay back on the bed taking Maddy with me so she was laying on top of me. Not breaking our kiss, I rolled so I was the one on top.
She paused and looked up at me. "I love you, Ryan." She quickly kissed me again and then whispered sensually in my ear, "I don't want you to stop."
Shit. Suddenly all of my previous thoughts about how it would be fine felt like total bullshit. We were both going to be busy. We would try to text every day, but eventually that would turn into a couple of times a week and then we would be lucky if we heard from each other weekly. We would inevitably drift apart and there was no way I could sleep with her with that knowledge. Especially when she had no clue.
I groaned, "Ugh, Maddy we have to talk."
She looked up at me with concern, "What's the matter?"
I sat up and took a deep breath. I had to tell her, "Maddy, I was offered a full scholarship to Auburn.”
She sat straight up covering her bare chest with her hands. I found her shirt on the floor and handed it to her. She took it and slipped it on. "In Alabama?"
I nodded slowly. She didn't even know I had been interested in going there. I never mentioned because I never thought it would be possible. "Yeah, it's a full scholarship. I had to take it."
Her eyes widened in shock. "You already accepted it?"
I nodded. I needed to explain myself, "Yes, I'm so sorry Maddy. The scholarship from K-State only covered tuition, but this one covers everything. "
I could see the thoughts swirling around in her head. I prayed she wouldn't hate me. I scooted a little closer to her on the bed and begged her to say something.
She simply said, "You're leaving."
I nodded again. "Yeah, so as bad as I want this, which believe me it's bad, I just can't do that to you."
She was silent for what seemed like an eternity and then finally said, "So we are breaking up?"
No matter how hard I tried to convince myself that we could make the long distance thing work I knew deep down it never would. Her life was here and I was starting a new one in Alabama. "I love you Maddy, so much, but I just don't think a long distance relationship is a good idea. I mean you are going to be a senior and I'm going to be in college. I..."
She stopped me and I was glad because I really didn't know what else to say. She sweetly said, "I understand. And I love you too. College is an amazing experience. You shouldn't be tied down to anyone."
I couldn't apologize enough. I could see how upset she was and I don't think it had even completely sunk in yet. "I'm so sorry."
She hugged me, "Don't be sorry. You are an amazing guy. I mean most guys would have just told me later, but you...you're just a great guy."
She was unbelievable. I was the one leaving, ending our relationship, and she was consoling me. I hugged her tightly and we spent the rest of the night holding on to each other.
I woke up the next morning with Maddy in my arms. I hated that that was probably the last time that would happen. Her eyes slowly opened, adjusted to the light. I kissed her forehead lightly, "Morning."
She told me good morning and I could see the sadness wash over her face as she said, "I'm going to miss you so much."
My throat went dry and I choked out, "You have no idea how much I'm going to miss you. I hope you'll stay in touch with me."
She sat up, "Of course I will. You better not be too busy to let me know how awesome it is there and how great you are doing."
She was always so positive. I knew that she was heartbroken, but Maddy was really good at putting on a brave face. I kissed her briefly and we left the lake house.
I drove her to her house. The entire ride was pretty much silent. There really wasn't anything else to say.
Chapter 4
My last week of high school was miserable. I couldn't stop thinking about Maddy. Every other senior was on some kind of high walking the hallways with an excitement I wouldn't let myself feel.
My head was full of constant thoughts, wondering if I was making the right decision. I knew at eighteen it wasn't logical to make a choice about my future based on a girl. No matter how amazing she was or how perfect our relationship was.
My last day of high school I was hanging out with Cory in the parking lot after school when Shane walked over with a goofy grin.
He was clearly ecstatic to be finished with school, "Oh man we are finally done! We are free!"
I laughed at his excitement. He always hated school. "Yep. No more high school. Crazy."
He was still overly excited. "You going to the party after graduation?"
I shook my head, "No, I don't think so."
He looked mildly disappointed. "You have to go. It’s our class's graduation party." And then finally acknowledged Cory by pointing to him, "He should even go. Everyone in our class is going. You can't let this Maddy thing make you miss it!"
Of course he didn't understand. Not a huge surprise. Shane was a typical jock whose only goal in high school was to have fun. God bless him. Everyone needs people like that in their lives, but I really wasn't in the mood to be around a hundred overjoyed drunk seniors. "Maybe, I know my mom and grandma are taking me to dinner. We'll see. I'll talk to you guys later."
I drove home and barely spoke to my mom or grandma that night. Neither of them tried to push me to talk. I had told them about my breakup with Maddy the day after it happened and let them know right away I didn't want to discuss it. Thankfully, they respected my wishes and had pretty much left me alone.
The morning of my graduation, I woke up to my mom and grandma busting into my bedroom with a tray filled with my favorite breakfast. Waffles with tons of syrup and AU (for Auburn University) spelled out in whipped cream, bacon, and orange juice. Mom sat the tray across my lap, "I'm so proud of you honey."
I knew how excited they were and I didn't want to ruin it with my moody teenage bullshit. So I gave them a huge smile and they both hugged me and went to get ready.
I sat there and ate my breakfast, looking around at my room. My dark blue walls had a few posters of random models and an Auburn poster I got for Christmas in third grade hung right above my bed. I had a black desk with a laptop and a couple of pictures from when I was younger. And next to my bed I had a small table with a single picture of Maddy and me. She took it when we were walking the nature trail at my town's park. I had my letterman jacket on and she had her hair up in a ponytail. It was a simple picture, nothing special, but I loved it. We both looked incredibly happy together. With that, I stood up and got ready to go to my high school graduation.
As I sat in the gray folding chair wearing my blue gown I tried to focus on our valedictorian. Katheryn Spears, definitely the smartest girl in the class, I never spoke to her. Not one time in the twelve years we had been in school. She pretty much kept to herself and focused solely on school. She went on about how this chapter is ending and that means a new one is beginning and that’s where she lost me.
The next chapter. I was leaving the town I was born and raised in. Who the hell knew what the next chapter held for any of us
. We could all try our best to guess, but life was unpredictable. I could get hurt at practice before I even have a chance to play a game. The university could choose not to renew my scholarship for a second year and I might have to move back. It was a huge risk.
The sound of applause grabbed my attention again as Katheryn took her seat again. When they called my name and I walked to accept my diploma and shake the hand of my principal, I looked out in the stands secretly hoping I would see Maddy’s face. The crowd was big and it was hard to distinguish any of the faces, so in my delusional head I held out hope.
After we all threw our caps in the air and the ceremony officially ended my mom and grandma came over to congratulate me and my friends. No Maddy. We took pictures. No Maddy. She wasn’t coming. I felt pathetic. I was the one that ended it and I wasn’t sure why I thought she would be there.
After going out to dinner with my mom and grandma, I went to the graduation party with Cory for a couple of hours. I grabbed a beer when I got there and offered one to Cory. He shook his head no, “I still don’t know why I’m here.”
I took a drink, “Yeah I know, but it’s the last party in high school. We’ll leave whenever you want to.”
A big guy in our class that I played football with came running by at that exact moment tearing off his clothes. He was screaming something about streaking and ran into the small pond out in the field where the party was held. Cory looked horrified, “So right now?”
I laughed, “Well if you really want to, but we did drive all the way out here. Maybe we should spend at least thirty minutes here?”
He agreed and then Shane and Eric joined us. They were really nice to Cory and we all actually had a conversation together for a while. It was the first time I can remember us all having the same conversation. We mostly talked about the teachers we were glad we wouldn’t have to see again and how awesome college was going to be.
After about an hour Cory and I were about to leave when Jenny came over drunk out of her mind and put her arm around me, “You aren’t leaving yet are you?”
I slowly removed her arm, trying to be polite, but I had no patience. “Yeah, we are heading out.”
She looked over at Cory and then back at me with a pouty face, “We didn’t even have time to talk. I heard about you and your girlfriend.”
I really didn’t want to talk about Maddy so I started walking toward my car, “Maybe some other time.”
She was walking with me, with Cory following us. “But it’s our last party, I know you are leaving for Alabama soon. Let’s go find somewhere we can talk.”
I stopped. I couldn’t stand this girl since the day I asked her to go out with Cory. She was shallow and not my type. I knew that she didn’t really want to talk, not the way she was biting her lip suggestively and being overly flirtatious. Part of me thought about going somewhere private with her to try to get my mind off Maddy, but I knew that wasn’t going to help. “Sorry. I’m not in the mood. See ya around.”
She stood there looking irritated that I would turn her down, and Cory and I went to my car. He drove to my house where we hung out watching movies and eating left over pizza. He stayed at my house like when we were kids. It was actually a nice night. He was going to New York for college, and I knew I wasn’t going to see him very much after this summer.
I spent the rest of my summer working out with Shane and Eric as often as I could to get into shape for football and when I wasn’t with them I was usually hanging out with Cory. I tried to keep myself as busy as I could to stop my mind from wandering to Maddy. I didn’t see Maddy in person that summer, but we did exchange a few casual texts. She always asked me how I was doing and I always lied and told her I was doing pretty well even though I was actually in hell. I had a feeling she was doing the same thing with me.
Around a month before I was scheduled to start college I had to go to Alabama for three weeks of hardcore football practice. I woke up at four in the morning the day I left to drive to Auburn. It was a fifteen hour drive and I wanted to get there early enough that I could get some sleep the night before my first practice.
My mom and grandma woke up with me and made me another special breakfast. After breakfast they walked me out to my car that I packed with as much stuff as I could shove into it. The sun wasn’t up yet and it was still a little dark outside. My grandma gave me a big hug, “I’m so very proud of you. You will be great!”
I smiled at her and hugged her back and then turned to my mom, who had been crying off and on all morning. “Mom, it’s going to be okay. I’ll call as much as I can. Don’t worry about me.”
She grabbed me and hugged me. “I love you. Stay out of trouble.”
I hugged her back and then I opened my car door. Before I got in I paused and looked at them both and the house that I grew up in. I knew this would always be my home, but it would always be different after today. It would be a place that I visited instead of the place I lived. I sighed and got into my car. I promised them I would let them know as soon as I got there and my mom gave me another hug. My grandma finally pried her off of me and I took off to Alabama.
I thought about driving by Maddy’s house even though it was out of the way, but I was in a time crunch and decided against it.
The drive down to Alabama was extremely long and since I was by myself I had nothing to distract me from thinking about Maddy. I tried to focus on the scenery and tried to get excited about football. Six hours into my trip I stopped in St. Louis and ate at a small diner. I couldn’t believe after six hours I was only one state away, but I was almost half way there.
After I ate I got back out on the road. I turned up the radio and tried to think about nothing. Which worked for about thirty minutes and then my mind wandered right back to Maddy. I was a mess and it was getting extremely pathetic. I was warned that this three weeks of camp was absolute torture without a second to yourself and I was actually looking forward to it.
Around ten o’clock at night I pulled into the parking lot of my new dorm. They had just remodeled it and it was massive. The residence hall was where most of the football team lived, but it also housed other athletes and over half of the students living there were non-athletes. School hadn’t started yet so the parking lot was fairly empty.
I made my way up to the third floor with one suitcase and unlocked the door to my new home. It was dark when I walked inside. I flipped on the light and looked around. There was a small living room, really small kitchen and two bedrooms. I knew from the brochure that each bedroom had its own bathroom also. It was actually really nice. The suite had wood floors, a flat screen TV and even included a washer and dryer.
One of the bedrooms had the door closed so I walked over to the other room. I went into the small bedroom that had twin bed and desk. I put my bag down on the floor and sat down on the bed, exhausted from the long drive.
I heard the main door to the suite unlock and then heavy footsteps. A moment later a massive guy walked into my room and reached his hand out to me. “Hey, you must be my new roommate. I’m Pete.”
I stood up and shook his hand. He was a little taller and had a good thirty pounds on me, mostly muscle. He had a southern accent, but I didn’t think he was from Alabama. “I’m Ryan.”
“Nice to meet you Ryan. Where you from?”
“Kansas. You?”
“Texas. What position you play?”
“Receiver. You?”
He sat down in my desk chair, making himself comfortable. “Both on offense. Offensive tackle.”
I sat back down on my bed. “Well we should get along fine then. This suite is pretty awesome. I thought it was going to be shitty.”
He grinned leaning back in the chair. “Yeah, they just finished a remodel of this place a year ago. I’m just happy it’s not just for football players and it’s co-ed.”
I must not have looked as thrilled as I should have about it being co-ed because he peered over at me, “Oh what? You have a girlfriend back in Kansas?”
>
I shook my head, “No. Not anymore.”
He nodded his head knowingly, “Ah. Chose football huh? I would have done the same thing.”
I got up, picked my bag up off of the floor and put it on the bed and started to unpack it. And changed the subject. “So have you checked out campus yet?”
He stood up. “No, I doubt we see campus until school starts. I’m gonna go crash. We are in hell for these few weeks. See ya at five.”
“Yeah. Can’t wait.” He left my room and I finished unpacking my small bag and then tried to get some sleep.
The next morning I woke up at five to the sound of my blaring alarm clock. I sat up slowly and then begrudgingly took a shower and got dressed for practice.
I walked out into the living room area still half asleep. Pete was eating cereal in the kitchen. "Good mornin’ sunshine. You better eat." He held out a box of cereal for me.
I walked over and took the box of cereal from him. I poured a bowl and started eating. "How are you so cheery this early? It's still dark out."
He put his bowl in the sink and patted me firmly on the back, "How are you not? We get to play football in college. We're going to be the kings of campus."
I smiled. "Yeah you're right. It's just really early and we are about to have our asses handed to us. I've heard camp is fucking brutal."
He sat on the couch to put his shoes on. "Yeah I know. I can't fucking wait. Bring on the pain! It's only gonna make us stronger."
I chuckled at his enthusiasm and quickly finished my cereal. "Well we better go. I don't want to know what the punishment is for being late to practice."
He agreed and we left to run to our first team meeting that started at six.
We were all crammed into a small room. Standing next to Pete, I listened intently as my new coach spelled out how this week was going to go. "It won't be easy. More than likely a few of you are going to break, but I need to get your asses in shape and ready for this season. A lot of you have never met and we need to learn to play together as a team."
Rebound (Soulmates Book 3) Page 3
