She took the piece out of my hand and put it in its correct spot and handed me a new one, "You want to talk about what's bugging you?"
I glanced at the puzzle and fit the new piece into it. "Not really."
She nodded. "Well whatever it is, it will pass. It always does."
We left it at that and finished the puzzle in silence.
I spent the remainder of my break at my house. Fluctuating between hating Maddy and hating myself. The whole not thinking about Maddy thing did not go well. I had finally broken down and told my mom everything when she asked for the fifth time why I wasn't spending time with Maddy during my break.
After I finished telling her what had happened outside sitting on the porch swing my mom put her hand on my shoulder. "I'm so sorry. First loves are so hard to let go of. You will get through it though. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but you will."
I was a little surprised that there was no I told you so in there, but I was grateful. That was the last thing I wanted to hear. "Yeah. I thought she loved me. I feel completely stupid."
"Well don't feel stupid. Just learn from it. I'm going to go make dinner." She kissed me on the cheek and went inside.
I sat out on the porch and thought about what she had said. I had definitely learned from it. Relationships weren't worth the trouble. You could give everything to someone, totally trust them with your heart, just to have them rip it out. What was the point?
When my ten day summer vacation was up I drove back to school. The drive was long. I was exhausted when I lugged my baggage up to my room. It was late when I opened the main door to my dorm room.
I saw Pete’s door was closed and went to my room and crashed.
When I woke the next morning I went into the living room where Pete was kissing a pretty, petite red head goodbye at the door. I heard him promise to call her as she headed down the hallway.
He turned around and smirked at me, "Hey! What time did you get in last night?"
I ran my fingers through my hair and sat down on a chair at the table, "Late." I motioned to the door, "Sorority party?"
He sat down next to me, "Nah, a small off campus house party."
"You want to go get breakfast before practice?" Team meetings and practice this summer prior to Fall Camp started at eight in the morning until about noon and only Monday through Friday. I was taking two classes in the afternoon, during the summer, but I would have a little free time.
"Yeah sounds good. I'm gonna go take a quick shower."
After we both got ready for the day we headed to a little cafe just off campus that made the best pancakes I had ever had.
After the overly nice waitress brought our food to the table, I poured syrup over my pancakes. I looked over at Pete who was buttering his toast. "Look. I might as well get this out of the way." He looked up from his toast and I went on, "Madison and I broke up. Or we weren't dating in the first place. I don't know which."
He had a look of confusion on his face, "What happened?"
I sighed. “I don't know. She didn't think we were dating again and was apparently fucking some guy who tormented her in school."
Instead of mocking me like I had expected, Pete's face turned to sympathetic, "Wow man. That's fucked up."
I took a bite of the delicious pancakes in front of me, "Yeah I know."
"Is there anything I can do?"
"Actually there is."
He looked intrigued, "Anything."
"You can not try to get me to hook up with random girls. I'm fucking done with dating."
He took a drink of his orange juice. "How many times do I have to tell you that you don't have to date to hook up?"
I shook my head, "I'm done with all of it. I mean it."
"Alright. Whatever you say."
We went eating and talking about his break. And then we went to our team meeting.
Trevor and Pete tried to get me to go to a couple of parties the next few weeks, always promising not to pressure me into hooking up with anyone, but I never went. I was miserable and didn't want to be around anyone.
When Fall Camp started a month before Fall Semester, I was grateful. I knew we would all be too busy to worry about parties, and I was too exhausted to think too much about Maddy.
We went back to waking up at five in the morning and not stopping until ten at night. It was mildly entertaining watching the incoming freshmen adjust to camp. It felt good not to be dragging nearly as bad as last year, although it was still exhausting.
When camp was over and we had three days off, I didn't go home this time. I called my mom on her birthday instead. I knew she was disappointed, but she didn't say anything.
The semester started and I had a tougher course load. I had decided to declare my major and chose psychology. I had really enjoyed the introductory course and it seemed like a good fit. I knew it would be difficult while playing football, but I wasn't like the other guys I knew on the team. I didn't have my fingers crossed the entire time, praying I would be drafted into the NFL. I wanted a career after college that didn't involve football.
I was taking Spanish, Economics, and two psychology courses. It was Economics that was actually kicking my ass, after about a month I went to talk to my advisor about it. He was probably around forty and had actually played football for Auburn years ago. It was nice because he knew exactly how hard it could be to balance classes and football.
He advised me to speak to my professor and find out if there were any study groups I could join. I took his advice and the professor gave me the email and phone number of a girl that ran a great study group for the course.
I sent a quick email before practice at one that afternoon, asking if she had room and when they meet.
In the locker room after practice I read her response on my phone.
Ryan,
Thank you for contacting me. We definitely have room for one more. We meet at The Logan Square Apartments, apartment #236. It's just a little off campus. We meet every Tuesday and Thursday at 7pm. Let me know it you will be joining us. Thanks!
Lindsay
I wrote her back that seven would work perfectly and that I would be there the next day, which was Thursday.
Trevor who was combing his hair after his shower looked at my phone, "You finally get over the whole no girls thing?"
Pete looked up, hopeful, from tying his shoes.
I put my phone in my pocket. "You guys are way too concerned with me. No, I'm joining a study group."
Pete stood up, "How are you going to fit that in?"
After Trevor made a "That's what she said" joke, I went on to answer the question. "I have to. It's only two nights a week and not until seven. I'll have time after practice to shower, eat and then head there. I can work out and catch up on other homework after."
As we were heading out of the locker room, Trevor said, "Well maybe there will be some hot girls there."
Pete shook his head, "in study group? Doubt it."
We went to eat and then went to the gym after that to lift weights for a little over an hour. I finally got to sleep around eleven that night.
Chapter 9
The next morning I woke up to do it all again. I had economics on Monday, Wednesday and Fridays, so I made sure I had packed my book that day so I could go straight to the study group after dinner.
I made it to the Logan Square Apartments right before seven that night. When I got there a tall, lanky guy with long brown hair answered the door. “Hi, I’m Ryan. Is this the econ study group?”
He pulled the door open a little further to let me in, “Yep, I’m John. Come on in.”
I walked in and there were ten other people inside all sitting around a large coffee table in the living room. Four people were crammed on the couch, two were sitting in chairs and the rest were on the floor.
John walked in behind me, “This is Ryan everyone.”
They all said “Hi.” And then I noticed one girl who was sitting on the floor with her legs tuck
ed behind her. It was the girl I bumped into and possibly slept with at the party last year. She had her hair pulled up into a ponytail and had a pair of glasses on, but it was definitely her. I smiled at her and she either didn’t notice or was ignoring me because she just looked away and started talking to the girl next to her.
John told me to take a seat and I sat down across the room from the mystery girl. We all began discussing the chapter and the homework. I could have sworn I saw the dark haired girl glaring at me from across the room a few times, but assumed it had to have been my imagination.
A large guy whose name started with an H, but I couldn’t remember what it was had just asked a question about geographic segmentation and I answered it from my notes. He grinned, “Oh yeah. I knew that. Thanks. Guess you were paying more attention in class than I was.”
I smiled, “Yeah, I try not to let myself slack off for even a second in Econ.” It was true.
The girl from the party scoffed at that and when I looked over at her she gave me a dirty look. I let it go. It had to be in my head.
Two hours after the study group started everyone got up to leave. The big guy whose question I had answered walked over to me, "So how do you make time for study group during football season?"
I wasn't too surprised he knew I played football. Football was a huge deal in Alabama and most of the games were on TV. "Do you have a part time job?"
He nodded, "Same way you do then. Just have to make time. School’s the most important thing."
This time I knew I wasn't imagining it when the girl from the party whose name I had found out was Lindsay said, "Oh please." Under her breath. I excused myself with the guy I was talking to and walked over to the pretty dark haired girl.
"I'm sorry. Did I do something to upset you?"
She rolled her brown eyes at me, "No. I just find it hard to believe that you put school first."
"Well you’re entitled to your opinion, but I do. Do you remember me?"
She was as intoxicated as I was that night at the party so I wasn't sure if she remembered or not at first. When I said that she looked at me with total distain and I knew she did. "Really? Of course I remember you." She looked around the room that was mostly cleared out. "I remember everyone I have slept with."
So she was the one I had sex with that night "Okay. I was just making sure. I know you were drunk and I barely remember that night..."
She cut me off, "I don't want to talk about it. I have to go." She told John, whose apartment it must have been, goodbye and walked out.
I thanked John for having me over and then went to lift weights with Trevor and Pete.
I was thinking about Lindsay the entire time. Which was a break from thinking about Maddy. It would have been nice if Lindsay didn't hate my guts for some reason. I had to have done something the night we were together. No matter how hard I tried I still couldn't remember anything.
Pete, who was using a towel to dry the sweat from his brow, looked over at me curiously, "Please tell me you aren't thinking about Maddy again."
I started another set of lifting dumbbells, "No actually. Remember that party last year when I brought a girl back to my room?"
"Yeah."
"Well she's in my study group."
"Oh yeah? She hot?"
I rested, laying back on the bench, "Yeah, but that's not the point. She hates me. I have no idea why."
Trevor walked over to spot Pete, who was back to lifting. "Maybe you came early."
Pete laughed and I started another set, "She really hates me. I don't think that's it."
Pete and Trevor traded places and Pete looked over, "Who knows? I wouldn't let it get to ya. Plenty of fish in the sea."
I agreed that I shouldn’t let it get to me, but still couldn't help thinking about what I could have done to make her that angry.
That Thursday I drove to study group and was again greeted by John. Lindsay was there, but didn't acknowledge me when I joined the group.
When the study group was over I walked over to Lindsay who was talking to some girl. "Can I talk to you?"
She turned toward me, "We don't have anything to talk about."
The girl she was talking to swung her bag over her shoulder, "I'll see ya later Lindsay." She gave me a sweet smile as she walked off.
Lindsay stood there with a sour expression. "What do you want?"
"I want to know what I did to piss you off. Whatever it was, I'm sorry. I was really drunk that night. I wasn't myself."
She scoffed. A sound I was really getting tired of hearing from her, "Oh please. Like that's not every weekend for you."
It irritated the shit out of me that she thought she knew me. “Look, just tell me what I did. Did I kick you out or something?”
She looked disgusted, “No. You did not kick me out. I snuck out when you were passed out and drooling on your pillow.”
Nice image. “Okay, then what?”
She folded her arms over her chest. “I just can’t stand jocks. I hate that you have had everything handed to you. When some of us are killing ourselves to be here.”
“What makes you think I have had everything handed to me? I’m here on a scholarship that I had to work for.”
“An athletic scholarship. You had to play a game to get here and you continue to play a game to stay here. I don’t understand why you are even bothering with a study group when we all know that the professors will probably hand you the answers to the tests before we take them.”
That was a huge rumor that went around campus, and we all were extremely familiar with everyone assuming we would have the answers handed to us. Fed up with her attitude I replied sarcastically, “Actually, I don’t even have to fill out the tests. I just turn it in blank and the teacher’s assistants fill it in for me.”
She rolled her eyes, “I wouldn’t be surprised.”
“So you hate me because I play football?”
“I don’t like you because everything is easy for you and more than likely has always been easy for you. Your college is paid for, you get grades handed to you, girls fall at your feet and you use them and then throw them away.”
So she was pissed I had used her for sex. Which was actually something I felt terrible for, “I am sorry that I didn’t call you are anything, but you were gone when I woke up.”
“I’m not talking about me. I talking about your life in general.”
I was dumbfounded. “Okay I don’t know why the hell you are judging me. You went home with me knowing I was a football player that night. You didn’t seem to mind.”
She huffed. “It was stupid. The stupidest thing I have ever done and I was drunk out of my fucking mind.”
“Well so was I. And I didn’t leave you. You left me in the middle of the night. You don’t know anything about me.”
“Maybe you should find another study group.”
“Yeah. I think I will.”
I left to go to the gym. That girl had some serious issues and I didn’t want to be around her again if I could help it.
The next day, in my economics class I spoke to the professor afterward and asked for information about a different study group. He said, “I’m surprised you want to go to another one. That one is full of students that are getting the highest grades in the class.”
“It’s just not working out. I didn’t click with them.”
The professor sighed and sent me off with contact information for a different group.
The other group met a little earlier on the same days as the other one so I really had to rush through dinner to make it there in time. It was a small price to pay not to have to suffer the wrath of Lindsay.
Our football team was again undefeated by mid-season and my grade in economics had improved slightly. I was going to have to work my ass off if I wanted to get a C in the class though.
The week before Thanksgiving, Pete came into the locker room before our second practice of the day. “Ryan, just the man I’ve been looking for.”
I slipped my practice jersey on over my head. “Uh oh. What?”
He started to change into practice gear. “I have been trying to get this really sweet girl in my last class to go out with me all semester and today she finally agreed to a date.”
“Congratulations. What does that have to do with me?”
“Well, okay she’s a really good girl. Traditional. You know, southern values and shit. And well she won’t go out with me alone.”
I sat down on the bench to put my shoes and socks on, “No.”
“Aw come on. Just one date.”
“No. I’m not chaperoning your date. I have too much shit to do.”
“This could be my future wife.”
I looked up at him and cocked an eyebrow, “No she’s not.”
“Okay, but I do really like her. And you won’t just be chaperoning. She has a friend that will be joining us.”
I stood up, “I’m not going on a double date with you. I told you I’m done dating.”
“I would do it for you.”
“No.” He was pouting like a child when we walked out to the field to practice.
We were pushed twice as hard that day at practice because our game that was coming Friday was against our rivals and we wanted to win even more than usual. After I took a shower and was getting dressed, Pete still had not let it go. “I’ll pay.”
“I don’t care. I have way too much going on and I don’t want to go out on a date. Take Trevor. I’m sure he would love to go.”
He glanced over at Trevor and then back at me. “No way. I need a sensitive guy. Trevor will scare her away.”
“Did you just call me a pussy and try to make it sound like a compliment.”
“Kinda. I mean you’re tough out on the field, but when it comes to women you’re pretty sensitive. You won’t “use” them for sex and look at how you spoiled Maddy.”
I closed my locker door harder than I had meant to at the mention of Maddy. “Forget it.”
After we ate at the dining hall I went to my new study group and then went to the gym to work out.
Pete, Trevor, and a handful of other guys from the team were there when I got to the gym.
Rebound (Soulmates Book 3) Page 7
