“No, I may have promised your mother I’d wait, but I didn’t promise to keep my mouth shut. You aren’t the only one who was affected by her passing, and I’m not talking about myself—”
“My sisters,” I interrupt and hang my head.
“They didn’t just lose their mother. They lost you, too. We all did.” His voice shakes, and I look up at him to see the truth of his words slipping down his face. “I’ve missed my boy more than I can put to words, and I’ve prayed every day to see his face again. My prayers were finally answered last night, and with him came the most beautiful angel.”
“Dad—”
I close the small space between us and wrap my arms around my father. I never thought my absence would affect any of them the way he is telling me it did, and if I’m honest, I was too selfish to see it.
But he’s right.
They didn’t just lose a wife and mother.
They lost a son and brother.
And she knew it was going to happen.
My father holds on to me like his life depends on the connection we have. He’s never been the kind of man who shows a lot of emotion, but I never doubted his love and devotion to us. I feel the gentle quakes and shudders rolling through his body as the emotion he’s held in for so long pours out of him.
After a few moments, he begins to losen his hold and reaches up to grip my face. His typical seriousness has returned to its spot deep in his eyes.
“She might not have been able to say good-bye to you the way you wanted, but,” he says and releases me. He reaches into the inside pocket of his jacket and pulls out a white envelope. I swallow hard when I catch my name written across one side, in my mother’s perfect script handwriting. He holds it out to me, and I stare down at it, afraid. “This is one of the last things she managed to write before the pain became too much.”
A lump forms in the back of of my throat, threatening to choke me. “Dad, I can’t—”
“You will,” he insists and places the envelope in my hand. “This is what she wanted.”
“I don’t know—” I try handing it back to him, but he steps back.
“I’ve been carrying that letter with me for five years, looking for your face everywhere I went,” he chuckles. “No more running. The answers you’ve been desperate for are right there in your hand. The question is, now that you have them, are you ready to hear them?”
I close my eyes, dragging a slow breath into my lungs, asking myself the same question.
Well, am I?
*****
Damien,
Stop being a little shit.
I know you’re angry.
Get over it.
Don’t hold it against them. They didn’t want to keep it a secret from you. I couldn’t bear to say good-bye to the boy who stole my heart the moment he breathed life. At least not in the way I know he’d wish he could have.
Your heart might hurt right now, or even for a long while, but that’s okay. It will get easier. Don’t let your grief and your anger consume you. Don’t let it stop you from living. Don’t let it stop you from falling in love.
Remember me the way I was, that last day before you shipped out. When you pulled me out of my chair in the middle of the kitchen because my favorite song had come on and I wanted to dance.
I am always with you, in the light of the day and the glow of the moon, forever and always. I love you, my beautiful boy.
Love,
Mom
Chapter 31
Penelope
His arms snake around me from behind, and his lips on my neck rouse me from a dreamless sleep. Like always, his touch sets my body on fire. I lean back and relax my body against his hard one.
“I’m sorry for disappearing,” he whispers along the skin of my neck. His breath sends shivers throughout my body, and it causes a new wave of heat to flood my system. I close my eyes, letting myself bask in the feeling.
“You have nothing to be sorry for,” I murmur softly. When he disappeared, I had a feeling he went to go see his mother.
“Dad said he let everyone know he found me.”
“He did.” He texted us after he found him sitting at his mother’s graveside. I place my hand over his and twine our fingers together. “I’m glad you went.”
“Me too,” he agrees, then we fall silent. It’s a few moments before he speaks again. “I want you to go there with me. Will you?”
“Of course.”
“I missed you.” He tightens his hold on me and molds his body around me. I feel his hardness against the softness of my ass. “I need you.”
I open my eyes and look around the darkened room, conscious about how little privacy we have. We are the only ones down here, but that doesn’t mean someone can’t come in at any moment. There isn’t a lock on the door either.
He pulls away a little, only to thrust his hips against me.
“Damien,” I moan huskily. “Someone could come in.”
“Everyone’s in bed already.” His hands find their way under my top and bottoms, targeting the most sensitive part of me. One hands cups my breast hard while the other delves between the lips of my pussy. “Fuck, angel, you’re soaked.”
I’m always wet when he’s around. It’s like my body has a built-in radar for him. No matter where we are, it’s like this. I can’t control it.
His finger slides over my clit, adding just enough pressure to leave me breathless and needy all at once.
His lips brush along my neck, nipping playfully as he makes his ways down and across my shoulder, his tongue warm and wet. “Fuck me, you taste good.”
I pant heavily as a surge of wetness drenches the hand between my legs. My hips surge forward, needing more. His other hand releases his grip on my breast, and his fingers brush the sensitive bud of my nipple before trapping it between his fingers.
“Damien.” His name comes out strangled and strained. The assault on my body cranks up a notch when his fingers leave my aching clit to slide between my wet folds, stopping only when the entire length of his thick finger sheaths itself inside of me.
“Fuck me,” I gasp,.The come-hither motion he does in response pushes me closer to the edge.
“Don’t worry, angel, I’ll be fucking you soon enough,” he promises. “Right now, though, you’re going to ride my fingers and come like a good girl.”
He plunges a second finger into me. The sensation is almost unbearable, tearing at the seams of my sanity. His mouth connects with my neck, and he sucks on my skin, marking me as his.
And just when I don’t think I can handle any more, he snakes a leg over mine to keep me from moving. Not that I need to move; he knows exactly how to work me. And he does.
Thrusting his fingers in and out of me, faster and faster, he still manages to hit the sensitive spot that makes me see stars. His thumb circles my clit, swiping over it every so often.
My heart thrums in my chest like a drum, and my body stretches tight like a rubber band, ready to snap.
Light begins to dance along the edges of my sight, and it doesn’t take much more than a few more strokes of his fingers to push me over the edge. A strangled groan escapes my throat, and my body convulses as the intensity of my orgasm takes control.
And it’s glorious.
“That’s it, angel,” he coaxes me gently. His fingers slow, growing less demanding, but they give me just enough to keep me in limbo.
“Damien…”
I feel his hand slip from my breast and tug at the waist of my pajama bottoms. He lifts his leg off me and slips his fingers out of me.
I mewl feeling the sudden loss of him. I try turning in his arms to face him, but he doesn’t let me.
Instead, his hands push my bottoms and my panties past my hips. Down my thighs and over my knees. I realize when he rights himself against me that he’s already naked.
I reach behind me, needing to feel his hot skin in my hands. My fingers brush his thighs, and he releases a strangled sigh. The sound fills me
with lust.
“I need you,” I murmur, feeling his hands make their way back up my body. The need to turn around is great, but I know if I try to move from my spot, it will be wasted energy. Energy I’ll need before he’s done with me.
“Stick out your ass,” he growls in my ear, and I listen. He lifts my leg, and less than a second later, I feel the head of him pushing at my entrance.
“Damien,” I gasp, pushing back against him. He responds by surging forward and thrusting into me. I yelp in pleasure, loving the way he feels inside of me. Dragging in a ragged breath, I feel him bottom out and his balls slap against my skin. Like before, he hits the magic spot, this time with the head of his cock, making me see stars again.
My second orgasm mounts, and I know a few more strokes like that, and I won’t last. He knows it, too, as he draws back and slams into me harder.
“Fuck, yeah,” I purr, and my body begins to tingle all over.
“Good girl,” he murmurs against my neck, his teeth grazing my skin. “Are you gonna come for me again, angel?”
I nod, unable to answer as he pulls back again, repeating himself with another hard thrust. My body tightens once more. But he’s taking his time with me, pulling me tighter with each drawn-out pause between thrusts.
“Please,” I gasp, desperate to come again, needing it like I need my next breath. But he ignores me and continues on his path of slow and steady, leaving me in a state of unknown, because each continued stroke pushes me so far over the edge, I no longer know which way is up.
His hand reaches around me, finding the pulsing button between my thighs. The first flick is agony but sweet just the same. The second flick, timed just right with his thrust, does me in.
I murmur and mewl, professing my love and need for him as the blackness takes over. All I know is the feeling of his cock, the pressure of his fingers on my clit, and the waves of pleasure as they rip through my body, causing me to clamp down around him.
I’m vaguely aware of his own orgasm as it follows on the heels of mine.
After the pleasure subsides and we’re both panting and heaving from the intensity of the moment, he holds me close, unwilling to break our connection.
“You’re mine.” His voice is sleepy in my ear. “In the light of the day and the glow of the moon, forever and always.”
My heart flutters at the words, feeling them at the depths of my soul. But before I’m able to think about them, sleep claims me.
Chapter 32
Penelope
“My wife would have liked you.” Tom smiles. His chest puffs out, and his eyes beam with pride as he watches his son across the room. He hasn’t taken his eyes off him once since our arrival, for fear of him disappearing again from their lives, I’m sure. “She had a special place in her heart for him. When he was younger, no girl was ever good enough for her boy. Not that he brought anyone home.”
“He didn’t?”
“No, you’re the first and only.”
“He told me a little about her. She’s sounds like an amazing woman.”
“She was. The absolute best. Don’t get me wrong, she was human and completely capable of making mistakes like anyone else. But to me, in my eyes and my heart, she was pretty fucking amazing.”
I laugh, jealous of the love he had for her. Still has for her. I look over at Damien, wishing he felt for me what his father still feels for his mother. If wishes were horses...
“You remind me of her,” he says, interrupting my thoughts. “In fact, together as a couple, you remind me of Starla and me when we were young and starting out, unsure of one another but completely in love. He might have married you to keep you safe, but I know the real reason he did it. Do you know?”
“He did it to keep them from sending me home. My stepfather—”
“Was a disgusting piece of shit, and I’m glad he’s dead. He didn’t deserve to share the same air with someone as wonderful as you.” He reaches over and takes my hand, grasping it lightly in his own warm ones. “You see, my son, though he doesn’t know it yet, is head over heels in love with his wife. He thinks he married her for one reason, but I know better because he is, after all, my son.”
“I don’t understand.”
“The Reynolds men don’t fall in love like the average Joe. We crash into it, hard and uncontrollably. We don’t recognize it right away, but there is something animalistic about the way we fall, that we use any reason we can make up to keep our women close by. Marking them as our own without the act of marking.”
“I think you have Damien confused with someone else. He doesn’t love me.” I force a smile, trying to pretend like my heart isn’t breaking a little bit. I wish Tom’s words were true, but I don’t think he know his son as well as he thinks he does.
“How does he act when there are other men around you?”
“Well, there hasn’t been much of that, but the one time there were, I was drunk and doing things I shouldn’t have been doing. He was only trying to protect me from myself.”
“Is that what you think?”
“What else could it be?”
“Tell me, how has he been with you being around his sisters’ men?”
“They’re married; they’re not a threat to him.”
“You’re right, they aren’t, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t marked you as his to them.”
“Daddy, what are you talking about?” Savannah sits down next to us with a frown. She hands me a large white coffee mug. The scent of the dark brew sends my stomach into a pitch. I set the mug down, hoping she doesn’t notice the way I scrunch my nose at it. “Are you scaring my new sister off already?”
“No, I was just telling her a little bit about your mother and what it’s like to fall in love with a Reynolds man,” he chuckles.
“Not that story again,” she groans, and this time I laugh.
“It’s a good story,” he insists, but Savannah rolls her eyes.
“Daddy, do Penny a big favor and skip to the end.” She turns to me and winks. “It’s the best part, and he takes forever telling a story.” She leans in and whispers softly, “But Dad’s right. Damien is totally smitten with you.”
Savannah take a sip of her own coffee, and I can’t hold the sickness at bay any longer. Her words have sent me into a freefall. I need a bathroom, and I need it now.
“If you’ll excuse me,” I murmur standing quickly, not waiting for a response. I cross the room, ignoring the way Damien’s eyes follow me, and barely make it over the toilet before breakfast makes another debut.
Once the moment has passed, I straighten and run my hand down my clammy face.
What the fuck is going on?
I’ve never been sick like this.
A gentle tap on the door causes me to jump with fright. My mind fills with worry, hoping I haven’t been too loud.
“Penny, it’s Astrid. Can I come in?”
I lean against the sink, staying quiet and hoping she gets the hint and leaves. But she doesn’t.
“I think I might know why you’re sick,” she says, and I react, opening the door to pull her inside. I haven’t been able to figure it out, and quite frankly, I’m tired of feeling this way. “How long has it been going on?”
“It started the morning before we got here.”
“Every morning?”
“Yes, and sometimes after breakfast.”
She reaches into the pocket of her sweater and pulls out a long pink and white box. When she shows it to me, my heart skips a beat.
It’s a pregnancy test.
“No, that’s not possible,” I inform her, but even I don’t believe her. I think about the last few weeks and realize two things.
First, we haven’t used protection. Not one single time. There was never any talk about it either. I trusted him completely.
Second, the birth control shot I received when I was placed in the holding facility that housed me prior to the sale had long since worn off, and the day of the attack, I was going to re
mind Damien to schedule me for the next one. Not that I counted on having sex with him, but I wanted to be prepared and careful.
Therefore, it is entirely possible that I could, in fact, be pregnant.
Shit.
Shit.
Fuck.
“From the look on your face, I take it you’ve worked out that it’s a possibility?”
Yes!
No!
I want to answer, but all I can do is nod and swallow hard.
“I know the circumstances haven’t been ideal with my brother, but have you two talked about starting a family?”
I answer with a shake of my head.
The idea of a baby, Damien’s baby, growing inside of me sends a range of emotions throughout my body. I have no doubt of his parenting capabilities; he had wonderful parents to teach him. But my childhood wasn’t anything like his, neither were my parents. Even with my younger siblings, my mother struggled.
She holds the box out to me and does it with a knowing smile. “A word of advice? Don’t overthink this.”
“It’s hard not to,” I admit, feeling the weight of the world on my shoudlers.
What if she’s right?
What if I’m pregnant?
Chapter 33
Damien
Leaving my family behind after only a few short days of having them back is harder than I thought it would be. I don’t want to leave them. Not yet.
I realize as I’m loading up the last of our luggage into the rental how much I’ve missed out on. I might have known all my nieces and nephews’ names and who their fathers were, but I didn’t know them.
Which was blatantly obvious every time I was left alone with all the guys. For the first time in my life, I felt like a bumbling idiot. It seemed no matter what I said or did, they weren’t having any of it.
It’s undersatandable, though. I fucked up.
I hurt my sisters, their wives, and this was their way of letting me know without it coming to fists. Because that would have put them in the dog house.
I might have fucked up royally, but that didn’t mean I was fair game to all. Just my sisters, and I took it from them because I gave it to them in the first place.
Lost in the Shadows (The Lost Series Book 3) Page 16
