by Apryl Baker
“Why does it explain it?”
“Because you’re confused.” She pauses while she waits for my numbers. “Anyone who isn’t blind knows how Dan feels about you, and you him.”
“But he wasn’t interested…I mean, he was dating Meg.”
“You like Eli, don’t you?” She sits on the bed. “You can have feelings for other people, especially when you push your real feelings to the side. Dan saw you as being too young for him, and I never expected the thing with Meg to last.”
“Why not?”
“Because he loves you. When someone loves someone the way he loves you, no one will ever compare. That has a way of causing problems in a relationship.”
“So you think Eli and I will turn out the same way because I have feelings for Dan?”
She shrugs. “I don’t know, Mattie. What you have with Eli is new and could be just as powerful. Who knows what might happen? You have to figure out how you feel about them both.”
“That doesn’t really help, you know,” I grouch. “It just makes it more confusing.”
“Moms are notorious for making things more confusing.” Mrs. Cross smiles. “We do the best we can and give you the best advice we have. It’s up to you to figure out what pearls of wisdom to garner from our confusing diatribe.”
“Thanks, Mrs. Cross.” Not that she’d helped me, but she tried, and that’s what counts.
“Mattie, no one can ever replace your mom, but I am a mom, and I’m always here for you whenever you need me. I hope you know that.”
Now I feel bad about grouching at her. She’s the best foster mom ever. “I know that, Mrs. Cross. Thank you.”
She squeezes my hand then stands, but I stop her before she can leave.
“Is there a reason I’m here other than passing out?” I’m hooked up to a ton of machines, the one connected to electrodes on my head the most concerning.
The frown in her eyes worries me. “We’re still waiting on some tests to come back, but once we have all the information, I will come talk to you.”
I nod, not feeling very confident. There’s something she’s not telling me. Something that has her worried, maybe even scared. Don’t tell me after all this time, they found a brain tumor or something.
When she leaves, I can’t shake the feeling something’s wrong. Maybe it’s because I can’t remember anything. Could a brain tumor cause me to black out like that with no memory? It can’t be a brain tumor, though. They would have seen that the last time they ran a CT, which wasn’t that long ago.
I’m probably stressing over nothing. Anemia, maybe. I mean, I’m always so cold, maybe they are concerned about me having low blood or something.
“Why do you look freaked out?”
A calmness washes over my emotions at the sound of Dan’s voice. It’s not the same type of calm Eli inspires. Eli literally takes all my worry away like magic. At least until he leaves, and then it’s back full force. Dan has the ability to settle my nerves, and I stay that way. Even after he leaves. Simply because he’s Dan. Is it friendship or something else? I just don’t know! Why do boys have to be so confusing?
“Because I am freaked out, and you weren’t here when I woke up.” I can’t hold back the accusation. He’s always here. I count on that.
“Yeah, sorry, I just spent the last hour answering questions from your father and Mr. Malone…James.” He says it like he can’t quite bring himself to call his birth father by his given name. He can’t call him Dad, though. He has a dad, a really good one. I understand how weird this is for him. Heck, I can’t bring myself to say Dad either when I speak to my own father. We’ve known each other about the same amount of time Dan has known about the Malones. It’s weird.
“Questions?”
“Yeah, about the ghost at the cemetery.”
“Ghost?” What ghost is he talking about? The Confederate soldier? He seemed so nice, though. Not a spark of malice in him. I’d planned on offering to help him cross over if he’d wanted me to.
His brown eyes darken. “You don’t remember?”
“The last thing I remember is talking to Mr. Johnson.” When his lips thin out, I know something is really wrong. “What’s going on, Dan? Mrs. Cross is worried, and I can see you are too. What’s wrong with me?”
“You had a seizure, Mattie.” He runs a hand through his hair. “A big one. They saw it on your CT scan.”
Seizure? That can’t be at all good. “That’s a bad thing, right?”
“Yes, it’s very bad.” He falls into the chair beside the bed. “If you keep having them, they can lead to complications. Serious complications like stroke, brain damage…death.”
Now I understand why Mrs. Cross didn’t want to tell me anything until she knew all the facts. She wasn’t just worried. She was scared. But so am I. Death is no joke.
“Do they know what caused it?”
“No, ma petite, they do not.” Zeke answers my question from where he’s hovering in the doorway. “But I have a theory.”
When he comes in and I can see him clearly, I’m shocked. He looks haggard, worry lines around his eyes. His clothes are wrinkled, like he’s slept in them or something. “How long have I been out?”
“Since we found you unconscious yesterday.” Dan rubs his eyes wearily. I hadn’t thought anything about him wearing the same clothes. I assumed it was still today—well, yesterday now.
Dan looks even more tired than Zeke, if that’s possible. It reminds me of the night I woke up after he found me at the old group home where Mrs. Olson held me and Mary. That’s when I started to realize it wasn’t so bad letting someone care about me. The sheer relief on his face when he saw me wake up told me maybe I was worth someone’s love. He’d looked worn out then, and that’s what he looks like now.
“The ghost that attacked you…”
“She doesn’t remember anything,” Dan interrupts him.
“What?” Zeke turns his blue eyes on me. “You remember nothing, ma petite?”
“Not a thing.” I shake my head and wince. Not a good idea. My head is truly killing me.
“This is the second time this has happened.” A darkness fills Zeke’s eyes. “I do not think that is a coincidence.”
“I’m not following.” Why do people always try to make you think when your head is the size of a watermelon with someone shooting it full of BBs? So not cool. I look up and see Reaper Boy behind them. He puts a finger to his lips and shakes his head. Why doesn’t he want anyone to know he’s here?
“These ghosts are malicious, Mattie. Someone is sending them to you, someone who means to harm you.” Zeke’s eyes glow with suppressed rage. This is the man everyone warned me about, the man who is a criminal, the man who doesn’t hesitate when it comes to what he wants, no matter what he has to do. It should scare me, but it doesn’t. He’s angry for me and not at me. Maybe that’s the difference.
“You think the ghost caused the seizure?” I squint, my eyes finally starting to hurt against the light, soft though it may be.
“I’m sure of it.” Zeke starts to pace. “Both times these ghosts attacked, you’ve lost consciousness and your memory. I don’t believe in coincidences, Emma Rose.”
Zeke sometimes slips up and uses the birth name he’d given me, Emma Rose Crane. I’ve been Mattie Hathaway for so long, he agreed to let me keep my name. Doesn’t mean it’s easy for him to call me that, especially when he’s upset. The only other person to call me Emma Rose is Silas, my demonic grandfather.
Reaper Boy shakes his head at me again. Does he mean don’t say anything or that Zeke is wrong? I do not speak Mime.
“Ghosts find me all the time.” I sit up a little more, searching for water. My mouth is dry. Dan stands and pours it without me having to ask him. We’ve done this dance several times before. I wake up after days unconscious, and he hands me water. “They probably just wanted my help.”
“No, Mattie. This ghost, it was different.” Dan hands me the little plastic cup then sits back
down. “I could see it, which means it had already flipped its evil switch. This thing, I don’t know how to describe it. It was intent upon…feeding off you. That’s the best analogy I can come up with. It was bent over you, and I could see your energy flowing into it. Think Harry Potter and the Dementors.”
“It fed off me?” A freaking ghost fed off me? No, no, no…we are figuring this thing out. Nothing gets to munch on me. Nope, not happening. Then reality decides to laugh at me by reminding me I black out when these particular ghosts come knocking. Can’t defend myself unconscious. Dang it!
“What kind of ghosts can feed like that?” Dan rolls his head, stretching his neck.
“I do not know.” Zeke’s Creole accents thickens with his anger.
There’s a knock, and my old social worker, Nancy Moriarity, walks in, all brisk and businesslike. She heads straight for me, wrapping me in a hug. I owe everything to this woman. No matter how terrible I got, she never gave up on me.
“Are you okay? What happened?” She doesn’t give me even a second to nod before whirling on my father, her finger stabbing him in the chest. “You! You have her for less than a week and she’s back in the hospital! What did you do?”
Zeke’s eyebrows race to his hairline, and he backs up with each tap of her finger against his chest. He looks alarmed. No one’s ever handled Zeke, except my social worker. Nancy rocks.
“I did nothing, madame. She attended her friend’s funeral and had a seizure.”
“Seizure?” She pales and takes a shaky breath. “What’s wrong with her?”
“They do not know.” Zeke slides away from her, his expression a mix between anger, admiration, and irritation. “I assure you, I’ve already contacted the best neurosurgeon in the country. He’s on a plane as we speak.”
Whoa! Neurosurgeon? Surely one seizure doesn’t warrant flying in some fancy doctor?
“Calm down, Mattie.” Nancy shoots a glare at Zeke. “Your father’s precautionary measures don’t mean you’re at death’s door.”
She knows me so well.
“Of course, she’s not at death’s door. She’s a Crane. Death would flee before her.”
Grandparents. I’d forgotten all about them, but there they are, walking into the room all concerned and grandparenty. Six months ago, I’d have been over the moon. Right now, I just want everyone to go away so I can think and figure out this ghost thing. I’ve done it by myself for so long, it’s hard to let anyone else in except for Dan. He’s…well, he’s Dan.
“My darling, are you well?” Lila Crane, who doesn’t look old enough to be my grandmother, bends down and kisses me on the forehead. “You look pale. Why are the lights so dim?”
“They’re dim because she has a massive headache and the light makes it worse.” Dan speaks up as Lila reaches for the dimmer switch.
“Oh…of course, ma petite chou. I should have realized.” She’s very formal, and can be intimidating. She’d tried that on me once, but I don’t intimidate. She turns those deep blue eyes on Nancy, her expression becoming cold. “And you are?”
“Nancy Moriarity, Mattie’s social worker.” Nancy’s back stiffens and her expression turns professional.
“Ah, but she is no longer in foster care, is she? Or were we misinformed?” Haughty. Yup, Lila sounds haughty, which isn’t sitting well with Nancy. Not one bit.
“The hospital called me. I’m still listed as her social worker in their files. Whether she’s still under my direct care or not, her welfare will always be my concern. I dare anyone to say otherwise.”
Point for Nancy, I think?
“We appreciate your concern, Ms. Moriarity.” My grandfather attempts to diffuse a potential situation. “Our girl means the world to us, and anyone looking out for her has our deepest respect. Isn’t that right, Lila?”
Lila gives Nancy a tight smile. “Of course.”
“What I think Mattie needs more than anything right now is rest.” Dan stands and faces them. “Some peace and quiet until her headache calms down a bit.”
Lila directs frosty eyes at Dan, and his expression changes to that famous cop face—bland, bored, and emotionless. I’ve come to learn that’s when he’s most invested. I’ve tried to mimic that expression, and it always ends up in an epic fail. So not fair. They must teach it to them at the police academy. Dan denies it, but I’m guaranteeing it’s a trade secret.
“Daniel is right, Mama.” Zeke intervenes before Lila can say anything else. “She’s in pain, and the best thing for her is rest.”
Lila purses her lips. “Ezekiel, we’ve only just found her, and she’s hurt. She needs to know her family is here and…”
“But I do know.” I blink against the blinding pain thumping behind my eyes. I know where Lila’s overprotectiveness is coming from. “I know you’re here, and I know you love me. My head just really hurts right now, and I need some quiet.”
“I doubt you will get your grandmamma to go farther than the waiting room.” Zeke walks over to me, reaches down and pushes a stray strand of hair behind my ear. “We were all frightened, ma petite. We did only just find you after years of not knowing. The thought of leaving you here alone…” He shakes his head, and I see the fear in his eyes.
Another crack of pain makes me gasp and grab my head. What is going on? I’ve never had a headache like this. The pain is intense.
“What is it?” Dan’s voice seems to come from far away. “Mattie? What’s wrong? Get a nurse!”
My world melts away, and the only thing I feel is a rolling, pulsing agony in my head. What is wrong with me?
My vision blurs, and the world tilts, and I hear a lot of shouting.
Then it all goes black.
Chapter Four
The next time I open my eyes, the room is dark, the only light from a gap in the bathroom door. A quick look around confirms Zeke passed out in one chair and Dan in the other. Dan’s pulled his chair closer, his head resting on the mattress. At least they’re sleeping.
My head is pounding. What happened?
“You had another seizure.”
Reaper Boy stands at the foot of my bed, arms crossed, looking all pissed off. Why is he mad? Did I do something I don’t remember? He’s still wearing that same t-shirt and jeans I always see him in.
Another seizure? Not good.
“No, it’s not good,” he agrees. Wait…can he hear what I’m thinking?
He cracks a small smile. “Yes, Mattie, I can hear what you’re thinking. I’m your guide, so I hear you. How else would I know if you needed me?”
“Do you have a name?” I can’t keep calling him Reaper Boy if he’s going to be invading my privacy on a regular basis.
“Reaper Boy?” He shakes his head. “My name is Kane, with a K.”
Like Abel and Cain?
“Nope, no relation.”
Dan stirs and we both glance at him. When he settles back down, I turn my attention to Kane. “Do you know why I’m having seizures? I wasn’t sure earlier if you were shaking your head no to Zeke’s idea of someone trying to hurt me, or just no in general.”
A heavy sigh escapes him. “Mattie, your abilities are waking up, so to speak, only they shouldn’t be. You’re gaining the abilities of a full reaper, and your body is still very much a human shell. It’s not built to withstand what a full-fledged reaper can.”
“So?” I prompt when he goes silent.
“So, your brain can’t handle the overload, and it’s seizing.”
Nope, so not good.
“Every time a ghost comes to you, every time one touches you to show you what they’re trying to say and can’t, your reaping abilities rush up and try to sort it out. Only your brain, it’s not equipped to do that. It strains it so much that you seize. I’m not sure what to do to help you. I must go talk with the council and see if there is anything we can do to stop this from harming you.”
“And if there isn’t anything they can do?” I know I shouldn’t be asking questions I sort of already know t
he answer to, but I need to know.
“Then you’ll die.”
Fudgepops.
“There is something else I need to speak with you about.” He looks more worried than when he told me I might die. What could be worse than my potential death?
“You don’t remember anything from the cemetery?”
I shake my head.
“The spirit of a child came to you. Its soul was so damaged, there was almost nothing left of it. Just a spark. I couldn’t see it, but you could, even if you didn’t realize it. It wanted help, and your light shines brighter than my own. I saw that tiny light left inside it through your reaping energy. When you offered help, it latched onto you, showing you what had happened to it, trying to escape its pain and move on before it was consumed.”
“Then the overload hit?”
“Yes, you blacked out before you could help the little one. Rage replaced hope in the spirit, and what was left of its soul died, and it changed…it became something that we’ve feared for a long time.”
What could possibly scare a reaper?
“Do you remember when we talked about the Fallen One, Deleriel?”
I nod, my mind already three steps ahead of him.
“He feeds off the broken souls of children, those souls enduring an eternity of suffering where it resides. Before, the souls were never able to roam freely amongst humans.”
“That’s changed.” My dream of the yellow-eyed boy as well as the little boy in the morgue flash like warning bells.
“It has, but that’s not the worrisome part. Souls have never been able to break away from Deleriel, but now they are. That’s because of you, Mattie. Your light shines so brightly, it calls to them, gives them the strength and courage to flee. Straight to you.”
I can’t help that. Why is he looking at me like it’s my fault?
“Deleriel chooses certain souls to join his army of child soldiers. You’ve seen them? The yellow-eyed demonic children?”
“Yeah.” Scary little buggers.
“The two souls that have escaped him and fled to you…they became something more than a vengeful spirit. Deleriel never lets his souls die. He needs them to feed him while he’s trapped in the underworld, even his children. They all feed him. The two that beelined to your light…when their hope died, what was left of their souls died. There is nothing left in them, no hope, no joy, no pain, no fear. The perfect storm to create a monster.”
