by A C Warneke
Chapter 15
NEW YEAR’S EVE
Ana held Jolie as the little girl soaked the front of her shirt with tears. She felt utterly helpless and just as miserable and she couldn’t prevent a couple of tears from falling as well. When she arrived, she hadn’t expected how hard it was going to be to say goodbye to one little girl. She couldn’t even begin to imagine how impossible it was going to be to say goodbye to Harrison at the end of the night.
“I’m going to miss you so much,” Jolie wailed, wiping her face against Ana’s shirt while Ana tried to comfort her. “I wish you didn’t have to go.”
“I know, Jelly Bean,” Ana whispered, knowing if she spoke any louder, her words would come out as sobs. Where was Harrison? What was taking him so long? If he didn’t hurry up, she’d be a sobbing mess before she even got a chance to get ready for the New Year’s Eve ball at the hotel. As if her thoughts had called to him, he appeared at the top of the stairs and he took her breath away. Dressed in a suit, he looked utterly devastating, putting to shame any fantasy she ever had of him in his uniform. His hair was still damp but he looked… he looked amazing. He looked like home and it broke her heart that she had to leave him. His dark, pin striped suit made him look so damn yummy and when he paused to straighten the cuff of his shirt, she lost the ability to speak, to think. He was hers and that knowledge gave her the strength to face the year ahead.
When he looked up, he had a smile on his face that quickly faded when he saw Jolie’s tears. Rushing down the stairs, he put his strong hand on Jolie’s shoulder and the little girl turned into her daddy’s embrace. With a rough voice, he whispered, “Why don’t you get ready while I take care of Jolie? My mom will be here soon and it might be easier if….”
Ana nodded in understanding, unable to tear her eyes away from his face. Up close, she could smell him, Harrison mixed with aftershave, and despite Jolie’s tears and her own heart breaking, she could have stayed there all night and simply breathed him in. In fact, she wouldn’t mind if they skipped the party altogether and just spent her last night at home.
“Ana,” he whispered. “If we stay home, I won’t be able to let you go in the morning. We have to go.”
“Okay,” she managed. Putting her hand on Jolie’s back and feeling the shudders wracking the little girl’s body, she knelt down and wrapped her arms around Jolie. As tears clogged her throat, she croaked, “I love you, Jelly Bean.”
“I love you, too, Ana,” Jolie choked out, squeezing for all she was worth. Before she lost it completely, Harrison bent down and picked Jolie up, unconcerned about the tears that were staining his jacket. He whispered soothing sounds as he rubbed Jolie’s back, his face ravaged by the agony of seeing his little girl in pain.
With one last look at Harrison, Ana headed up the stairs before she could change her mind and decide that staying wasn’t such a bad idea after all. Of course, it had never been a bad idea and that was the problem.
Grabbing the garment bag that had her new dress, she took a quick shower, her hot tears mixing with the hot water. Forcing her thoughts to focus on the night ahead instead of the morning after, she took a steadying breath. It was only for a year, less if he came out to visit like he promised he would. She could do this… she would do this. She’d put on her dress, put on a smile, and she’d pretend that her vibrant world wasn’t going to fade into shades of gray in the morning.
After she got out of the shower, she wrapped a towel around her torso and then wiped her hand across the fogged over mirror. Staring at her reflection, she didn’t look like the type of person who could carve out a little girl’s heart and yet she was. She shouldn’t have spent so much time with Jolie but she hadn’t been able to resist the little girl’s charm, or the little girl’s father. With a sigh, she started to put on her makeup, wanting to at least look pretty for her last night with Harrison.
There was a knock at the door and before she could say anything, it opened and Harrison stepped in looking just as incredible as he had ten minutes before. Leaning against the door, he watched her with a sad smile on his lips. “Mom just took Jolie.”
“Is she okay?” she asked, putting her mascara on.
“She will be,” he answered instead. Licking his lower lip, his dark eyes drinking her in as if it was the last time he’d ever see her, he said, “I got us a room at the hotel so I could hold you in my arms one last time.”
Meeting his eyes in the mirror, she murmured, “I’m coming back.”
“I know.” Taking a deep breath, he asked, “What did your mom say about your dad when you talked to her earlier?”
Ana pressed her lips together as she carefully put the mascara down. Turning, she leaned against the counter as she said, “He’s having a difficult time but he’s trying because he knows that if he fucks up this time, he’ll lose my mom for good.”
“And you,” he added softly, saying the words that she couldn’t.
Ana shook her head, bewildered by her conflicting emotions. Already wrecked by the misery eating away at her soul, she hadn’t wanted to think about her dad. “He never really had me. I mean, until last month, I had no idea he was my dad so I suppose I don’t know how I should feel.”
“What’s your initial emotion?” he asked.
“Anger,” she said, surprising herself. Blinking, she turned back to the mirror in the pretense of putting on her lipstick but in reality it was so she didn’t have to see the disapproval in Harrison’s eyes. Of course, it was a mirror and she could see his reflection. Instead of disapproval, though, there was compassion. Taking courage from his silent strength, she tried to put into words the... disappointment and hurt that gnawed at her guts. God, this was the last night she had with Harrison, she sure as fuck didn’t want to talk about her dad. “He chose drugs over me. I always hoped there was a better reason, a noble reason, why my father wasn’t a part of my life but it was drugs. It just makes me sad… sadder. God, Harrison, I don’t want to leave you.”
He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her from behind and hugged her tight. Holding her gaze in the reflection, he said, “We’ve already agreed that this is something you have to do.”
“But is it really?” she asked, wishing he’d ask her to stay, knowing he wouldn’t be so cruel or selfish. At his wry look, she huffed out an unexpected laugh, “Why do you have to be the reasonable one?”
“Trust me,” he returned. “It’s taking everything in me to ignore the instinct to carry you back to the bedroom and tie you to my bed.”
She swallowed thickly because that was what she wanted, too. His lips quirked up in a half-smile and his dimples winked at her as he gave her a quick peck on the cheek. Straightening, backing away from her, he said, “I should go so you can get ready. I’ll wait downstairs.”
She nodded, wishing he would stay. Since he got them a room, she wondered if she should drive her own car to the hotel since she wanted to leave as early as possible. Not because she wanted to go but because each hour she stayed made it that much more impossible to leave. Either way, her car was all packed and in the morning, she’d head out to California while Harrison went back to his life before she came along. It didn’t matter if she left from his house or the hotel.
She eyed the elegant white dress that she had bought for the occasion, wishing it was her wedding dress and not her farewell dress.
*****
The lights were dim, the music was slow, and Ana had never been happier or more miserable in her entire life. Once the tables had been pushed to the edges of the room, Harrison had pulled her to her feet and led her out to the dance floor and they had been dancing ever since. Being held in Harrison’s arms as he slowly spun her around the room was heaven. The fairy lights gave the ballroom a magical, intimate feeling and she could have danced all night, if only tomorrow didn’t bring the end of her time with him. Pressing his lips against her ear, he whispered, “You take my breath away, Ana.”
Blinking back the tears, she looked up at hi
m, at the melted chocolate eyes that saw into her soul, at the elegant lines of his jaw, his nose, at the dimples that drove her mad with desire and love…. Harrison in a suit was to die for and if she weren’t experiencing the most romantic moment ever, she’d drag him up to the room he reserved and have her wicked way with him right then and there. If she could, she would keep this image of him forever in her heart, pulling it out whenever she got too lonely, which would probably be all of the time.
Yeah, they had already set up video chatting and everything but it wasn’t the same. Sitting in front of the computer, she wouldn’t be able to breathe him in, to feel the heat of his skin when he touched her, the beat of his heart as she laid her head on his chest. She wouldn’t be able to lay her head on his chest. Pressing her lips together, she tried not to cry but it was impossible. When she had arrived in October, she thought three months would be the perfect amount of time but it had flown by and she wasn’t ready to go.
“In the morning, I’m going to leave before you wake up,” she whispered, needing to tell him her plans so he didn’t think she abandoned him. When he opened his mouth to protest, she put a finger over his firm lips and shook her head. With a sad smile, she tried to explain, “If I see you, I won’t be able to go and I have to. It kills me, but I have to do this.”
“Then I won’t fall asleep,” he rasped.
She grinned even as a tear slid down her cheek. “Then I’ll never leave.”
“Exactly,” he said with a smile, sadness making his brown eyes swim in misery. Brushing the tears from beneath her eyes, he murmured, “But we’re not going to talk about it. We still have the rest of the night and we’re going to pretend that this night will never end.”
Pulling her closer, he held her in his arms, the only place she wanted to be. She opened her mouth to say something, to say anything, when he grinned down at her. Tightening his hold on her, he spun her around and kept spinning until the room was whirling and she was laughing in sheer joy. Unconcerned about the people around them, he spun until she was dizzy and all of her thoughts were scattered. When he stopped spinning, he dipped her and the look of love on his face made her head continue to whirl. Pulling her back into his arms, he cupped her cheek. “Ana, will you marry me?”
Everything within her stilled as she looked up into the eyes of the man she loved. Catching her lower lip between her teeth, afraid to believe, she offered a slight smile, “Are you really asking me?”
Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a box. Opening it, he held it in front of her eyes as he rasped, “I’m really asking.”
Joy, intense, overwhelming joy, infused her entire body. Closing her eyes, trying to contain some of it so she didn’t burst, she nodded her head. After a moment, she finally looked up at him and mouthed the word, “Yes.”
The worry in his expression that she hadn’t noticed until it disappeared was replaced by a grin that broke out from ear to ear. Taking the ring from the box, he slid it onto her finger. The ring was simply… perfect. The diamond sparkled brilliantly in the low light and surrounding the diamond were two smaller stones. In the dim light, she couldn’t quite make them out but she was fairly certain she knew what they were: a sapphire and a blue topaz. His birthstone and hers. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she hugged him tight, “I love you, Harrison Miller.”
“I wanted to take you to the courthouse this morning but I thought my mom would be pissed if we got married without the family,” he said, holding her close and swaying to the music. “I also kind of figured that you’d want to plan something bigger. I mean, it’s your wedding….”
“The courthouse would have been perfect,” she interrupted, holding her hand up and admiring her ring. “In fact, we can do it the day after I get back.”
“Not the day you return?” he asked.
“Nope,” she shook her head. Going up on her tiptoes, she breathed against his ear, “I plan on spending that first day with you, naked. Actually, we might want to wait an entire week because I don’t think either of us is going to be able to walk down any aisle for a few days.”
She sensed his smile at the same time that she felt the swelling of his penis. Knowing that it was their last night, she whispered, “Let’s go make good use of that room you got for us.”
“I was about to suggest the same thing,” he growled, scooping her up into his arms, much to the delight of the crowd around them.
“Everyone in town is going to think I have difficulties walking with the way you carry me around all of the time,” she teased, draping her arms around his neck and loving the joy of being in his arms.
“I’m pretty sure they just think I’m a caveman,” he countered, nodding his head to a few of his friends as they passed them by on the way to the table. Grabbing her purse, he handed it to her with a grin, “I don’t want to have to leave you, even for a moment, once I have you naked.”
She chuckled, “That sounds like a really good plan.”
Her next words caught in her throat and all she could do was gaze at his profile as he carried her. She knew that she was an idiot to leave and even now she wavered. Maybe she could call up the agency and beg for another extension.... No, it was already fiendishly hard to go; if she held off for another week, another month, she’d never go. At the moment, she couldn’t remember a single reason why she wanted to go in the first place, not when every reason to stay was striding through the hotel with her in his arms.
Resting her head against his shoulder, breathing in the warm, masculine scent of him, she closed her eyes and pretended that he was carrying her to the honeymoon suite, that this was her wedding day and they had the rest of their lives to be together. After all, her dress was white. The slight weight of the ring around her finger was a reminder that in a year, her fantasy was going to be reality.
As the elevator carried them to their floor, she reminded herself that she wasn’t supposed to be thinking about tomorrow, only the here and now and Harrison. Carrying her down the hall, he whispered, “What are you thinking about, Ana?”
“Next year,” she murmured, opening her eyes. Her breath caught at the heated look in his gaze, the love. Reaching up, she ran her fingers along his jaw, into his hair. “I’m going to be Anavrin Miller.”
His smile was slow and beautiful and she decided that this was the moment she wanted to remember forever. As he came to a stop outside the door, he let her slide down his body while holding her eyes, a slow, sensual assault on all of her senses. Opening the door, he led her in before he grabbed her clutch and tossed it onto the desk. Her breath caught in her chest when she saw that the room was lit with dozens of candles, the bed was strewn with orchid petals, and there was a bottle of champagne in a bucket of ice, two crystal flutes waiting to be filled. It was magical and wonderful and she wanted to cry.
He turned to her and murmured, “I wanted to get the honeymoon suite but it was already taken.”
She smiled because he was so in tune with her. Before she got a chance to say anything, he took her hands in his. He held her gaze and said in a low, solemn voice, “I, Harrison Miller, take thee, Anavrin Smithfield, to be my love eternal. I vow to worship you, cherish you, love you until time ends and everything fades to nothing. Your name is etched on my heart, my very soul, and my love for you will never fade.”
With glossy eyes and trembling lips, Ana murmured, “I, Anavrin Smithfield, take thee, Harrison Miller, to be my love eternal. I….”
Her words were cut off as he bent his head and kissed her, taking her vow into his body. Sliding his hands up her bare arms, he cupped the back of her head as he deepened the kiss. Slowly, as if he had all of the time in the world, he unwrapped her. Her lids grew heavy as he worshipped every inch of skin he exposed with his lips, his teeth, his tongue, but she refused to miss a moment of this by closing her eyes.
As she reached for the front of his shirt, he shook his head, “Let me do this, Ana.”
Hesitating only a moment, she let her arms fall back to h
er sides. Time stood still as she lost herself in a storm of sensation. It was like a dream as he laid her down on the bed and then he was with her. The scent of lush orchids filled her senses as he moved over her. Love swelled in her chest as he framed her head between his arms and held her eyes. Slowly, he pushed into her, filling all of the empty spaces with love. Slowly, he moved and she savored every moment, wishing it would last forever. Slowly, he bound her to him for all eternity, over and over and over. “I love you.”
*****
Rolling over, Harrison frowned because Ana wasn’t there. He must have fallen asleep even though he swore he wouldn’t. Grabbing the pillow she used, he pressed it over his face, breathing in her scent. His heart stilled for a moment before it took off racing: the pillow was still warm. Scrambling out of bed, he wrapped the sheet around his waist and grabbed the key card. He bolted out of the room and ran down the hall, ran down the stairs. Terrified that he had missed her, he ran faster than he had ever run in his life, not caring that he was naked with nothing but a sheet to cover him. If he missed her....
Sliding into the lobby, his heart in his throat, he saw her about to push through the front doors. Adjusting his grip on the sheet, he jogged towards her, opened his mouth, and called out, “Ana!”
She spun around, her eyes wide, her cheeks wet with tears. Laughing, crying, she raced towards him and threw herself into his arms. It was all he could do to hold onto her and make sure the sheet didn’t fall. Hugging her close, he panted, “I couldn’t let you go without saying goodbye.”
“Harrison,” she sobbed, burying her face against his neck. Inhaling deeply, she simply whispered his name again, “Harrison.”
Needing every last moment he could steal, he closed his eyes and just held her against his chest. He was never going to last an entire year without her. He couldn’t wait until March when he would fly out there for a long weekend and get his Ana-fix. The only problem with that was the fact that he’d never get enough of her. A lifetime wasn’t enough.
