by Jo Ann Brown
“No, you’re not!” She grabbed the passenger side door. “If you think I won’t jump out of this buggy, then you’re wrong.”
“Don’t be silly. You could hurt yourself.”
“I didn’t before,” he thought he heard her mutter, but before he could ask if he’d heard her correctly, she said, “If you’re going to be like that, Micah, stop and let me out.”
“I’m not leaving you out here in the middle of a stormy night.”
“And you’re not taking me home.” Again her voice broke. “I’m not ready to face them. Not yet.”
Hardening his heart to her was impossible. They’d known each other all their lives. He’d counted her among his gut friends before he’d fallen for her. Her daed was marrying his mamm in a month.
Was that why Katie Kay had returned? For the wedding? If so, Reuben and Mamm would be overjoyed to see her. But why didn’t she want to relieve her daed’s fears? Too much didn’t make sense.
“Micah,” she said softly, “please take me somewhere else.”
“Where?”
“I don’t know.”
“Do you have any money? One of the hotels out on Route 30 might not be completely booked on a weeknight.”
She rolled her eyes. “I don’t have enough to pay for a room.” Opening her soaked purse that sat in a damp spot on the seat, she gasped.
“What’s wrong?”
“He took my money! I thought he was just taking my cell phone.”
Micah’s hands tightened on the reins. “He? Were you robbed?”
“Not exactly.”
If she was trying to be baffling tonight, she was succeeding. Maybe if he tried a different approach...
“Katie Kay, I don’t want to have to lie to Reuben when he talks about wondering where you are.”
“I’m not asking you to lie. I’m asking you not to say anything about seeing me.”
“That’s splitting hairs.”
“Maybe it is.” Again she looked away. “But I can’t face my family right now.”
It was the second time she’d said those words. He wanted to ask why she intended to avoid her family, but she looked dejected and lost, so unlike the girl he’d known. He pushed aside his objections. The Bible taught that they were supposed to help one another. Yet it also was at the very heart of God’s commandments that the duty to honor one’s parents must never be set aside for any reason.
He drew in the horse and sat with his elbows on his knees as the buggy slowed to a stop by the side of the road. He knew what he should do. He should haul her at top speed to her family’s house. But that might do more damage than gut. She obviously needed time to prepare herself before she spoke to Reuben. Letting her have a day or two wouldn’t make a big difference, and granting her a favor might be the very thing that kept her from jumping the fence again. At least until after she and Reuben had a chance to meet. Not knowing where she was had been hardest on the bishop. If they could reconcile, perhaps it would smooth over the situation, even if she chose to leave again.
“All right,” he said, hoping he wasn’t making a complete mess of everything and praying both Reuben and God would understand. “I may know someone who can put you up for tonight.”
“Not among the Leit. The news would reach my family before dawn.”
That was true. The Amish didn’t use phones or email except for business, but nothing stayed a secret long in their tight-knit community. Jokingly referred to as the Amish grapevine, gossip and rumors flew faster than anything in cyberspace.
“These people are Englischers.” He glanced at her clothing. “I’m sure you’re accustomed to folks who aren’t Amish. I’ll ask my friends Sean and Gemma Donnelly to let you stay with them tonight.”
“Danki, Micah!” Her frown eased for the first time since she’d gotten into the buggy, and his heart did a crazy little flip as it always did when she smiled at him. But, this time, he ignored it. He wouldn’t make the same mistake of thinking she cared for him as much as he’d cared for her. He wouldn’t make that mistake ever again!
“Don’t thank me yet. I’m not helping you unless you agree to do what I ask.”
At his stern tone, her smile faltered.
Micah plunged forward with what he knew he had to get her to agree to do. “I will help you find a place for tonight and won’t mention to anyone you’re here, but only if you agree to speak with your daed. Not tonight,” he added when she started to protest. “Within a week.”
“That’s too soon.”
“Then tell me how long you need.”
“I don’t know.”
“I told you what I think is long enough. Tell me what you think is long enough before you speak with Reuben.” He couldn’t relent on this, though he wasn’t sure she’d honor any agreement. The Katie Kay he used to know would have, but the one sitting beside him was a stranger.
“A month.”
He sat straighter. “What? A whole month? Why do you need a month?”
“You don’t need to know why. I need time to be sure about things. A lot of things.” She raised her face toward him, and he could see the glitter in her eyes. Determination to get her way or tears or both? “If you’ll find me a place to stay, Micah, I’ll talk to my daed before a month’s gone by. Agreed?”
He considered her words. If he said no, that wouldn’t change anything. She wasn’t going to talk to her daed. If he said ja, there was a chance she might do as she said. He owed Reuben that much.
Turning the horse’s head back in the direction they’d come, he said, “Agreed.”
She thanked him, but he paid no attention as he stared out into the darkness. He’d made the best decision he could have under the circumstances or the worst. He wasn’t sure which.
Chapter Two
Micah assured Katie Kay while they drove through the darkness that his friends would be willing to take her in for the night. As to what she’d do tomorrow night, she wasn’t sure. Maybe one of her Englisch friends would let her stay at her house. She must have one who wasn’t afraid of Austin.
But most of her Englisch friends had been Austin’s friends a lot longer than they’d been hers.
She’d never felt more alone. Her whole life, she’d been surrounded by friends, both female and male. As she grew up, the male friends became admirers, and she’d had fun flirting with them. Soon, if her suspicions that she was pregnant were true, none of them would be interested in her.
Though she’d glowered at Micah, he hadn’t backed away from his insistence she speak with her daed. He’d always been stubborn, but she’d usually persuaded him to change his mind. Not tonight. She recognized the set of his square jaw, identical to his twin brother’s, except Micah didn’t have a cleft in his chin. His black hair fell into his startlingly blue eyes that saw so much and revealed so little. His days spent in construction work had broadened his shoulders and knotted muscles in his arms beneath his work coat. She couldn’t believe some girl hadn’t snagged him as her husband in the past year.
And you should be glad for that. She hated listening to her conscience, but she couldn’t argue with it. If he hadn’t been out tonight, she wasn’t sure where she could have found shelter without resorting to knocking on doors.
But Micah couldn’t understand why she didn’t want to talk to her daed and she couldn’t tell him the truth. She needed to know if she was pregnant or not. And if she was... With a sigh, she admitted she didn’t know what she’d do.
The house where Sean and Gemma Donnelly lived was closer to Ronks than Paradise Springs. Katie Kay was relieved because the two districts her daed oversaw as a bishop didn’t reach that far west. The Donnellys’ single-story house was close to the road, and, unlike the plain houses they’d passed, bright lights glowed in the windows. Electric wires ran high over the dri
veway, where a pair of vans, one with lettering on the side, were parked. She couldn’t read what was painted on it, and she didn’t care.
All she wanted was to have a place to sleep and to wake in the morning to find tonight had been nothing but a nightmare. It had to be. Austin wouldn’t have treated her heartlessly, and her heroic knight in a gray buggy wouldn’t have been Micah. What a joke on her!
Drawing in his horse, Micah stopped the buggy next to one van. She saw a hitching post nearby and wondered why it was there. Maybe the people inside provided a service to the plain community. He lashed the reins around it while she stepped out with the towel over her head to hold off the rain.
“This way,” Micah said, walking along flagstones to the front door.
She followed without saying anything. When he knocked a couple of times and then opened the door, she knew he must be a regular visitor. Amish people walked in without knocking but not the Englischers she’d met. They’d been horrified the first time she entered without waiting for someone to open the door. She’d been mortified, not realizing then how many more mistakes she had ahead of her.
“Is something wrong, Micah?” asked an Englischer as he entered the narrow hallway on the other side of the door. He wasn’t as tall as Micah, but he wore similar work clothes. His hair was red and tightly curled both on his head and in his thick beard and mustache.
“We didn’t expect you back tonight.” A woman followed the man into the hallway. She was plump and wore her dark hair in a ponytail. Dressed in a flowery bathrobe and fluffy slippers, she looked ready for bed. “Are you okay? Is Rascal all right?”
“We’re fine. I left him tied out by the driveway,” Micah answered, and Katie Kay realized Rascal must be his horse. An odd name for a buggy horse, but maybe the beast wasn’t plodding and slow when the weather was gut. “Sean and Gemma Donnelly, this is my...friend. Katie Kay Lapp.”
Did the others hear his hesitation? It made her sad, though she wasn’t quite sure why. She’d treated him poorly, so she should be grateful he attached the word friend to her name. She needed a friend.
“Come inside,” Gemma said with a welcoming smile. “What a horrible night to be out! Can I get you something hot to drink? I think there’s cocoa left in the cupboard.”
“Perfect,” Katie Kay said at the same time Micah replied, “No, thanks, we don’t need anything.”
He frowned at her, and she wanted to ask why. Gemma had offered, and she’d accepted. She understood when Gemma turned, revealing the unmistakable outline of a very pregnant body. In a few months, she could look the same. Her fingers went to her belly. Was it as flat as it’d been a few weeks ago?
“Actually,” Katie Kay hurried to add, “I’m fine. Being inside and warm is helping. I’ll skip the cocoa.” She hoped her stomach wouldn’t growl and betray the fact she hadn’t had anything to eat since noon, when she’d finally been able to hold down food. All morning, she’d been sick...as she had for the past week. She’d had to accept the possibility she was pregnant.
“Are you sure you don’t want anything?” the woman asked.
“Ja.” The Deitsch word slipped out as it hadn’t in months. She was exhausted. That had to be the reason. It couldn’t have anything to do with the brooding man beside her.
Such a description of Micah astonished her. Micah usually had been the one getting everyone to laugh. He and his brothers always teased each other, and if they could draw others into their sport, all the better. Yet, he stood like a disapproving Old Testament patriarch, not a hint of humor on his face.
The red-haired man asked, “What’s up, Micah?”
“Katie Kay needs a place to stay tonight. Can she stay here with you?”
Questions flickered across both Englischers’ faces, but she was relieved when, after a glance was exchanged, Gemma said, “Certainly. There’s an extra bed in Olivia’s room.” She smiled at Katie Kay. “Olivia is our four-year-old daughter. I don’t think she’d mind sharing her room as long as you’re okay with sleeping with a chatterbox. She talks all day, as well as half the night in her sleep.”
“That will be fine.” What else could she say? She’d rather sleep in the rain? No, she was glad for the chance to be under a roof and warm. It hadn’t been warm the past week in the apartment she shared with Austin and his friends. There hadn’t been money to pay for heat, so they’d used what blankets they had and hoped the winter wouldn’t be bad. “Is Olivia your only child?”
She ignored the look Micah fired at her when she didn’t use the common Deitsch word for child. Why would she say kind? The Donnellys weren’t Amish, and she had no idea how much of the language they understood. Probably some, because they were Micah’s friends.
“No,” Gemma replied with another warm smile. “We have two sons. DJ, which is short for Sean Donnelly Junior, is going to turn six in January, and Jayden is almost two.” She laced her hands together over her distended belly. “And this is son number three. Dylan. He’ll be here in a couple of months. His due date is Christmas, but he’ll come when he wants. As they all do.” She laughed, but a hint of fatigue slipped in. “Sean, why don’t you help Micah get her bags?”
“I don’t have any,” she said.
“Oh.” Gemma regained her composure. “Well, then we won’t have to worry about Sean clomping up the stairs and waking the kids. Come in and sit down. We just finished watching the news.”
As they walked into a comfortable living room with bright green-and-white wallpaper on one wall and a fireplace on another, Micah glanced at Katie Kay, this time with an expectant expression. What did he want? Ach, he wanted her to thank his friends, and he believed she’d left her manners behind in Lancaster. As she started to express her gratitude to Gemma, feeling the familiar ripples of rebellion rising at his silent chiding, her hostess waved aside her words.
“We’re more than happy to help any friend of Micah’s,” the woman said but glanced at him with an unsteady smile.
No doubt, Gemma wondered what Micah, so Amish with his broadfall pants and straw hat, was doing with a woman who wasn’t wearing plain clothes and who had no luggage other than a drenched purse.
“We appreciate that,” Micah said, saving her from having to explain. “When I come in the morning, we’ll figure out what she’ll do next. Okay, Katie Kay?”
Regarding her without a speck of emotion, he held her gaze. She might as well have been a plank of wood or a shingle. A shiver ran along her as she wondered if he despised her as much as he acted. Tears clogged her throat. She was more alone than she’d ever been.
She looked away first. She didn’t want him to see her eyes fill. She wasn’t going to cry as she had out on the road. Somehow she had to be strong. If not for herself, then for the boppli she might be carrying.
Though Katie Kay hadn’t replied to Micah’s question, everyone acted as if she had. Micah took his leave, and Gemma showed her to her daughter’s room. Her hostess explained that Micah and her husband owned a company together, so Micah came over every morning to catch a ride with Sean to work.
Trying to act as if she’d been in a house like this many times before, she knew the Englisch habits she’d tried to adopt still looked unnatural on her because Gemma asked if she was familiar with how to switch on electric lights in the nearby bathroom. Austin had teased her about being too “dumb-dumb Dutch”—his derogatory term for plain people—each time she made a mistake. She had tried to appear sophisticated and Englisch in the hope he’d notice her.
He had one night, the one she didn’t recall much about. The result of it was the reason he’d thrown her out of his car and his life.
Why didn’t she remember more of what had happened a couple of months ago? She’d been drinking, as she often did with the roommates, but she usually was careful, never having more than one drink because even that could make her head swim. The others would
have can after can of beer until they passed out. She hadn’t. Having finally gained a little control over her life, she didn’t want to chance losing it again.
But one night she hadn’t been cautious because she wanted to forget the bad day she’d had at work waiting tables at a diner. Nothing she’d done had been right, and when she got back to the apartment, she’d given into Austin’s urging to keep drinking. Now she was paying the price for believing he wanted to comfort her. She couldn’t blame him for her stupidity, but she did for his callous expulsion of her from his life.
Taking the nightgown Gemma loaned her as well as a toothbrush, she skipped the hot shower she wanted desperately. The Donnellys were ready to call it a day, and she didn’t want to keep them up. She thanked Gemma, slipped into the little girl’s room and got ready for bed.
It was far softer than any bed she’d slept on since leaving her own comfortable bed at home. Instead of a handmade quilt, the blanket and freshly laundered sheets were covered by an afghan. Its extra warmth would be welcome.
From the other bed, Olivia mumbled something. Katie Kay moved to check the kind and bumped into the table between the beds. Something fell off it and bounced on the floor. She realized it was an inhaler. She looked from it to the kind. Olivia must have asthma.
She put the device on the table and moved to Olivia’s bed. In the faint light from a night-light shaped like a princess, the little girl’s curly hair looked dark, but Katie Kay guessed it was as red as her daed’s. Her cheeks were as full as a well-fed squirrel’s, and she clutched a well-worn, well-loved stuffed kitten to her pajamas that were decorated with more princesses.
Another flurry of tears threatened to fall as Katie Kay smoothed the covers over the sleeping kind. Olivia didn’t resemble Sarann, but Katie Kay remembered tucking in her youngest sister before getting into her own bed. Sarann hadn’t lived to be any older than this little girl; yet that had been far longer than any kind with her birth defects should have lived. Every day of her life, she’d had a smile in spite of the pain she must have suffered.
