I frowned. Shouldn’t he be demanding we talked about the sex last night? Trying to force me to define ‘us?’ “You really want to know that? C’mon, what man wants to know something like that?”
“Last night you mentioned honesty, right?”
I lifted a brow.
He drummed long fingers on his pant leg. “I don’t really want to know. But I think I should.”
I really didn’t like the sound of that and released his hand instantly. “Look, what happened last night it doesn’t give you any sort of—”
“Kvinne,” he growled and grabbed my hand back, putting it on his leg and giving me a look as if daring me to defy his action. “I’m not some caveman. Stop comparing me to one.”
He sounded legitimately put out and I was more confused than ever. “What did you just call me?”
“Woman.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose and stared straight ahead.
I clamped my lips shut. I could tell he was prickly, angry even, but his caress was still soft and tender. Tor was such a dichotomy. I couldn’t understand him or his motives. I squeezed his fingers until he turned to me.
Wrinkling my nose, I murmured, “Sorry. It’s just easy to assume nowadays.”
“Well don’t assume it with me. I’m not like other men. I don’t play around, Jamie. I tell you how I feel always. Honesty—your words, not mine.”
“I know.” I sucked my bottom lip between my teeth.
Rubbing a hand over his head, he shrugged. “I want to know you. I like you, I won’t deny it. But in all the years I’ve seen you, I’ve never been able to just talk.”
“And that’s what this is? Just talk?”
His blue eyes gleamed. “That’s it. And maybe we’ll discover that we were only destined to be friends after all.”
That sounded almost too easy. A friend. A male friend. Not like Zoe, who never hesitated to call me a bitch when I was acting like one. But a big teddy bear whom I could hug and hang out with and not let things get weird between us.
Was something like that even possible when feelings were already involved?
He dropped his leg, planting them both squarely on the ground.
I parted my lips, ready to tell him…well, I wasn’t really sure what, when the door opened. Startled, I jumped and dropped his hand instantly, heart thumping out of my chest when a nurse dressed in pink teddy bear scrubs walked in. She smiled when she saw us. But not a happy smile, more like a “this is awkward” smile, and I cleared my throat. Wiping my hands down my shirt.
She narrowed emerald-green eyes. “You family?”
I shook my head. “Just friends. Ugh. Girl. Friend?”
What was that? I scrunched my nose. Why had that been so hard to get out?
“Okay.” She gave me a timid grin, glanced at Tor, and I caught the flash of not only awe but attraction in her eyes when she did it. Walking over to a rolling contraption of some sort, she unhooked an empty baggie and replaced it with another.
“When are his MRI results coming back?”
Dropping the baggie into a garbage bin, she walked to the sink to wash her hands and shrugged. “No idea. But you know we can’t release that information to you, right? Only immediate family and technically you shouldn’t even be in here without some member of the family to vouch for you, but...” She drifted off, gaze going to Angel. “I just feel kind of bad for him.”
Her smile was short but sweet.
She wasn’t mean about it exactly, and I did understand the rules, but it had my hackles rising anyway. I’d stuck with Angel through worse times than what most spouses would. It wasn’t her fault and she’d been completely nice, but it still made me angry. I hugged myself and kept my lips shut. At least she was letting me stay.
The door opened and closed again.
“I’m going,” Tor said, and I whipped around.
“What?”
“Jamie, it’s obvious I’m intruding. I’m sorry. I was just trying to be here for you. I didn’t think you should be alone right now, but this seems like a really stupid idea.”
His hands were shoved into his pocket and my heart was beating out of control. Now that he was leaving, the thought of it wasn’t something I really wanted either. I was so freaking confused.
“Don’t go.”
Looking puzzled, he pointed toward Angel. “I’m not trying to hurt you and I’m not trying to put you into a bad position. Our timing is always terrible. And maybe that’s just the way things are.”
“What do you mean ‘our timing?’ This is the first time.” I stepped toward him.
“Elskede.” He rubbed my arm. “I’ve been trying to know you for years.”
Same word he’d used last night.
As he looked down at me and I up at him something strange happened between us—we connected. It was brief, so lightning-quick others would be tempted to disregard it. But the way he looked at me, it called to my soul. There was a quickening, a flutter deep inside of me. Brought back to life something I’d thought long dead.
Wonder.
Curiosity.
Hope, maybe? I wasn’t really sure about the last one.
“Come to lunch with me,” he offered.
This time when the door opened, it wasn’t a nurse, but Marianna and her mother.
Chapter Four
Tor
I knew the second her eyes grew wide and she looked like a child caught breaking the rules that lunch wasn’t going to happen.
“Never mind,” I said, and dropped my hand. “I’m going to go.”
An older Hispanic woman looked at me, at Jamie, then at Angel. There was suspicion in her gaze, but she didn’t say a word. It was the younger one that stepped forward, setting purses down on the empty bed, who spoke up first.
“Who are you?” She turned to me. “Angel’s friend?”
Realizing that this could get bad for Jamie real fast real quick, I shook my head and held out my hand. “The name’s Tor. I’m a friend of Zoe’s, actually. She sent me here to make sure Jamie was all right.”
Her thin brows gathered; maybe they didn’t know who Zoe was. Jamie patted my bicep and it startled me so much that I looked at her, forgetting that I was trying to shake the other girl’s hand. I was surprised she’d touch me in front of them, especially considering how hot and cold she sometimes ran.
“It’s okay, Tor.” Her smile was small, but strong. “Actually, Marianna and Ms. Romero, he’s my friend. I mean,” she said, fluttering her wrist, the one she wasn’t hanging on to me with, “he’s Zo’s friend too. But he’s here to help me out.”
She finally released my arm and for a second I wanted to tell her she could keep touching me, but I clamped my lips shut instead.
“Give us about ten minutes, and then I’ll come right back, okay?” She was looking at them as she said it.
“Okay,” I said in a gruff voice. Then looked at the other two ladies, both of whom seemed very confused. Can’t say that I blamed them. I hadn’t wanted to make things awkward, but apparently there was no good way to do something like this.
“Ms. Romero, I’m so sorry. I really do hope Angel gets better.” I patted her shoulder.
“Thank you,” she whispered softly before lightly tapping her fingertips to my hand.
That tentative touch made me feel more awkward than if she’d hugged me. I could only imagine what all of this must look like. Angel wasn’t the best of guys, but the idea that a man was already trying to horn in while her son lay in a hospital bed fighting for his life was wrong.
Wishing I’d listened to my initial gut reaction of not coming to the hospital when Zoe had texted me, I gave her daughter a brief nod and then headed for the door. The scent of Jamie’s orange blossom perfume trailed behind.
Her small hands latched on to my elbow the moment the door closed behind us. “Hey, look at
me,” she said in a soft Southern twang.
She looked adorable in that nerdy t-shirt, all rumpled, and the memories of what we’d done last night was a fist to the gut. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to shove her against the wall and tell her that we weren’t over, we weren’t done. Not now. Not yet. We hadn’t even started. I’d waited so long and in my excitement to get to know her I pushed too far too fast.
Rubbing a hand over my head, I shook my head. “I’m sorry, Jamie. This was tacky. I shouldn’t have come. I just didn’t think you’d want to be alone. But I can only imagine what—”
She grabbed my hand and I stopped talking. Her fingers were soft, just like the rest of her. Like touching the velvety petals of a rose. I wanted her hands all over me. I didn’t want to walk away; everything inside of me screamed to fight. To stay put and win her heart.
I drowned in her clear blue eyes.
“Tor?”
My name was a question on her tongue. I wondered if she felt it, too—the fragileness of this. I should have waited to make my feelings known, but the adrenaline spiking through me last night, coupled with the sadness in her, my declaration had been inevitable.
Just as this now was.
I smiled. “You know where to find me if you ever need me.”
Pulling her into my arms one final time, I kissed the top of her head. I didn’t expect her to hug me back as tight as she did. Or dig her fingers into my shirt. Resting her cheek against my chest, she whispered, “Last night was pretty epic, wasn’t it?”
I laughed, but inside I ached. Because it’d been everything I’d dreamed it would be from the moment I’d laid eyes on her. “I’ll see you around, eskelde.”
Then I let her go and I walked away. I had to. Last night had been a fantasy, one I’d thought by will alone I could turn into reality. But in the cold, glaring light of day the truth was that she and I traveled different paths that for a very brief moment had intersected.
And now our paths would move their separate ways and there was no fighting this, it was life and sometimes there wasn’t a fairytale ending.
A harsh reality I’d already learned once before.
***
Jamie
I stood there like a moron and watched that beautiful, brawny male walk away from me with a horrible sense of failure and fear. My toes tingled with the need to chase him down, to accept that lunch date, because the possibility of what he represented was suddenly, startlingly clear. But it was so easy to be a chicken.
With a heavy sigh, I shoved the door open. The two of them looked at me. But Marianna, as always, was the first one to speak.
“So tell me, Jamie, is he the real reason why you didn’t show up last night?”
I didn’t have a clue how to answer them. If I said no, it’d be a lie and they’d know it anyway; I wasn’t much of a liar. If I said yes, I’d break their hearts.
So I thinned my lips and said nothing at all, which was probably even worse.
Chapter Five
Tor
“Why in the hell are you back here?” Zoe snapped to attention the moment I stepped into The Garage.
She was sitting at my workstation, tattooing on a tomato. It’d taken her two years to get to the point that Ryko trusted her to work on clients. She was good, but she was always practicing at it. Which meant that someday she’d be great.
Setting the tomato down, she snapped off her gloves and tossed them. Shoving bangs out of her eyes, she glared at me. “What did she do?”
“Nothing, Jamie did nothing. But I should not have gone.”
Dropping down into the swivel chair next to her, I studied her tomato. White tattooing was currently the hot trend, it wasn’t easy to do, either. It took a special dye and an extremely precise eye to make white pop all on its own. She was currently doing a filigree pattern. It was pretty good, a little sloppy around the edges, but not too bad.
Candy, who was sitting at the reception desk, turned toward us. The shop was currently empty, not uncommon at lunchtime on a Monday. There really didn’t need to be all of us here, one artist at this time of day was fine, but clearly none of us had anything better to do.
Lifting a magenta-painted brow, Candy popped an electric blue piece of bubblegum. Dressed in her typical red pleather mini-dress with black belt buckles, she winked at me. I never took her flirting seriously; everyone in the shop knew she was obsessed with herself and occasionally Ryko, when he was giving her stuff.
“Wazzup, Sexy McSexy?” She popped her gum.
If it wasn’t for the crazy hair and dresses, Candy would probably be my physical type. But beauty, as they said, went only skin-deep.
I shrugged, setting the tomato down. “Nothing much.”
“Your band practicing tonight?” She crossed her long legs, bouncing her top foot. In the past year I’d had a hand in sleeving her calf. Her tattoos were pure girl—rainbows, cupcakes, and hearts in various shades of eye-grabbing color. Not many could pull it off, but she could.
“Yes, why?”
She shrugged. “Just wondered if Zander was going to be there.” When she smiled the light caught the silver Marilyn Monroe stud above her lip.
“Of course you would, lollipop,” Zoe popped the P, glaring at Candy, who instantly returned the favor.
The two hated each other. Probably because Ryko had been Zoe’s boyfriend years ago and Candy had been one of the many reasons for their breakup. I don’t think Zoe really cared about Ryko anymore; she seemed to have a good thing with Alex. But I try not to get in the middle of female grudges. I had no beef with either one of them and that was how I’d like it to stay.
Candy rolled her eyes and shot up to her feet, walking with bad intentions toward Ryko’s office. I chuckled when she opened the door and Ryko growled, then the door slammed and the shouting began.
“Anyway,” Zoe said, tapping my knee after a second, “what happened?”
Reaching into my desk, I pulled out a packet of raw almonds and tore it open. “Nothing at all.”
She scoffed. I remembered the first time I’d seen Zoe: she’d been exotically beautiful and earthy to me. I’d taken an immediate interest, until two weeks later when her miniature friend came into the shop looking for her.
Bouncing her foot, she looked at me with raised brow. “I’m not going to leave you alone until you spill everything.”
“It was a very bad idea, that’s what it was. I should never have gone to the hospital.” Popping a handful of almonds into my mouth, I chewed slowly.
Grabbing a pen, she tapped it rhythmically on the desk. “You’re a terrible liar. Something happened.”
“Gods, woman.” I glowered at her good-naturedly. “Fine, you wish to know all the details?”
“That’s right, big boy. All of ‘em. Spill to mama.”
“You are very weird sometimes.”
“No.” She wagged a finger in my face. “No changing the subject. You did something or she did something, but you were barely there…what…” She checked her wrist watch. “Thirty minutes, forty? It would have taken you at least twenty to get back here. So what gives? You were supposed to sweep in there and be her gallant Viking and take her away from that place.”
“Gallant Viking.” I chuckled. “You obviously know very little of Vikings. And Zoe?” I popped another almond in my mouth. “Angel is ill. Very ill. It was tactless on my part. I should never have gone.”
I shook my head as the truth of those words settled in my gut, making me feel slightly queasy. What had I been thinking?
She smacked my shoulder. It didn’t hurt, but I rubbed it anyway. “And what was that for?”
“Because you’re being an imbecile just like her. Fine. Fine,” she huffed, holding up her hands. “I get it, Angel is in ICU and yes, that’s bad form. But I also know J. I didn’t send you there for a booty call, and go
d I hope you didn’t go there.” She gave me the evil eye.
I tossed the empty packet away. “Who do you think I am? Some mindless sex maniac?”
She laughed. “You are male and it’s a fact that y’all think about sex a lot. Like a lot. A lot.”
Licking my front teeth, I shrugged. No sense in denying that truth.
“But,” she sighed, “my BFF has a tendency to self-flagellate. She takes the cares of the world upon her tiny shoulders and makes everything,” she stressed, “her fault. Angel has been a weight, a burden, I can see it. The whole world can see it, but not her. What she needs is someone”—she touched my kneecap, looking earnestly in my eyes—“to remind her that it’s okay for her to be happy sometimes, too.”
“And I’m the man for that job?” I asked with a trace of sarcasm.
Face gone completely serious, she briefly flitted her fingers across my chin. “Yes. You are.”
As much as I wanted to believe that, I no longer did. “Last night I would have said yes. But when I went into that room, I saw him lying there, and how her eyes looked whenever she turned to him. I cannot fight that. I’m no longer sure I even want to. There is too much history there, Zoe.”
Dropping her hand to her knees, her entire body slumped forward. Like she was a balloon that’d just been deflated. Leaning back in her chair, she stared up at the florescent lights. “That history is going to kill her. It’s not that I wish Angel harm. Although,” she said, rolling her eyes, “as many times as he’s broken her heart, I won’t lie and say I haven’t thought about cutting off his jewels a time or two.”
Grabbing her tomato again, I picked up the tattoo gun, dipped the needle in the white ink, and began doodling over the top of her work. The rhythmic buzzing was a lulling sound that instantly quieted my thoughts. Giving me clarity and focus.
“I invited her to lunch,” I finally said after a two-minute pause.
She looked at me. “And?”
“And I’m here.” I sat the fruit and gun down then shook my head. “I’ll be there for her if she ever needs me. But I’m not doing that again. I just can’t.”
Rockers After Dark: 6 Book Bundle of Sexy Musicians Page 60
