What in the hell would I do with a kid? By myself? Because I seriously doubted Tor would want anything to do with a baby; he was only twenty-six. We were way too young for something like this.
Grabbing my skull I imagined a world in which I raised a child by myself and couldn’t even picture it as a possibility. I was nowhere near mature enough to raise myself, let alone a baby. With a sinking sense of dread, I moaned.
“Zoe, I’m scared.”
“Before you freak yourself out even more, take a test.”
“What? Now?” I practically shrieked.
“Or when you come back. Just don’t freak out, okay? I’m sorry I even brought it up—you’re probably not.”
In bright, bold clarity, the image of my pinky nail nicking the condom blazed to life making my already fast heartbeat pound out of control. “Condoms tear all the time,” I muttered with lips gone numb.
Zoe’s sigh sounded heavy. “I’m trying to comfort you here, J, you’re pretty much making that impossible by playing devil’s advocate.”
“Why’d you even have to say something? Why couldn’t you have waited until I got back home at least?” I glowered at the ugly painting of a moose tramping through a forest hanging on the wall in front of me.
They didn’t even have moose in New York, I couldn’t understand what the interior designer had been thinking when he or she had picked that hideous thing out.
“Ugh,” she groaned, “I don’t know. ‘Cause I suffer from diarrhea of the mouth. I’m sorry.”
I rolled my eyes.
“I’m never going to be able to sleep tonight. Now I have to go get a test. There’s a drug store in the lobby.” I was already slipping my shoes back on.
“Seriously?”
I tossed my hand up. “Zoe, what do you think? I’m not going to freak out about this all weekend long.”
“But you might not be ready yet for an accurate test.”
Grabbing my room key and a couple bucks out of my purse I headed for the lobby. “Then you shouldn’t have brought it up. I’m going to be freaking out about this if I don’t get it over with.”
She sighed. “Call me when you get the results at least.”
“I will. Bye.”
Hanging up the phone, I slammed my palm onto the lobby elevator button, praying to God my crazy friend was wrong.
Fifteen minutes later I was in the bathroom, sitting on the toilet, and staring at a pee stick that had a very faint but definite pink line.
Chapter Seven
Tor
“Tor, we need to talk,” Zoe said to me the second she came into the shop that morning.
I was in between clients, but I had another due in five minutes.
“In private. Outside.” She glared at Candy, who was being entirely too obvious that she was eavesdropping.
Glancing up at the art deco wall clock, I pointed at it. “You’ve got until twelve thirty and then I’ve got a client.”
“This isn’t going to take me more than two minutes.”
She wasn’t wearing her customary eyeliner this morning. In fact, her face looked puffy, like maybe she’d been crying. Which made me curious and suspicious. “What’s going on?”
“Just…” She sighed and pointed her thumb over her shoulder. “Outside.”
Popping a stick of sugar-free gum into my mouth, I followed her out. The second we were in the alley, I shrugged. “What’s the problem?”
Licking her lips, she stared at a spot over my shoulder with unblinking eyes. Now that I had a chance to stop and notice, more than just the no-makeup, she was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, very different from her typical hipster vibe she usually had going on. Something was definitely wrong with Zoe.
“You’re worrying me.” I looked at her until she noticed me again.
Blinking, looking at me with a startled expression, she sighed and then leaned against the wall with her foot braced against it. “Smells like piss out here,” she finally murmured. “Damn tomcat’s back.”
Yeah, that was nothing new. Ryko was aware of the cat problem back here; the brackish water lined around crates and the dumpster wasn’t water at all. There were a lot of rodent droppings, which was probably the reason why the cats had come to begin with. It was a problem we were working on a solution for and I doubted very much this was the reason she’d brought me out back.
Crossing her arms, she tapped a long red nail against her trim bicep.
“I think you should call Jamie,” she finally said as she glanced at me from the corner of her eye.
Just the sound of her name made my body crawl with tendrils of heat. I’d not spoken to Jamie for several weeks now. Not since the night of the picnic dinner, and though it’d been difficult at first to stay away, I was glad I had. The absence of her made it easier to move on. She’d also not found any reasons to come around the shop, which was something she’d regularly done for years, and I’d taken it to imply that she knew as well as I that it was easier that way.
“What happened to Angel?” It was my first thought. I wasn’t sure what kind of comfort I could be to Jamie at this point.
“No.” She shook her head quickly, shoving the straight bangs out of her eyes. “It seems like he’s going to be pulling out of this. He woke up on Sunday. He’s weak, but he recognizes everyone and still seems to have all his faculties. That’s one lucky bastard, I swear.”
My lips thinned. Was she still trying to pair us off? Not that it was really any of her business, but Zoe was my friend and Jamie’s—maybe Jamie hadn’t spoken to her yet. Shoving my fingers through my hair, I grimaced; sharing wasn’t the easiest thing in the world for me.
“Look, I don’t know what Jamie has or hasn’t told you, but considering all the history with Angel, we felt it best to stop and remain friends only.”
She rolled her eyes, nibbling on the edge of her thumbnail. Something about that obviously nervous action bothered me. Zoe wasn’t acting like herself at all. A sense of uneasiness began to worm its way through me.
“Is Jamie okay?” I’d never even stopped to consider that as a possibility, the thought of it felt like a sucker punch to my gut.
Her silence spoke volumes. I jerked off the wall, going immediately tense.
“What’s wrong with her?” I barked.
“Ugh, God,” she moaned. “She’d be so freaking pissed at me for telling you. That girl always puts me in bad positions. Look, you guys seriously need to talk. Jamie is pissing me off here, we found out something almost a week ago and she’s refusing to do anything about it. I can’t convince her to do shit, and she’s angry at me.” She huffed the last as if offended at Jamie for it. “But I’d hoped that maybe you could talk some sense into her. I’m worried about her.”
I was so confused, but also twisted up inside. “Is she okay? That’s all I need to know right now. Is she okay? Do I have to rush her to the hospital?”
“She’s not dying, okay? That’s the extent of what I can tell you. It’s not my place to say too much more. But you need to go to her.” Her honey eyes pleaded with me.
Something about this entire situation wasn’t sitting right with me. I’d not heard from Jamie in weeks, and now Zoe was coming to me begging me to go over there. Why? “Zoe, what do you expect me to do? She doesn’t want to talk to me—if she did she’d have called. Come here. I really think I should respect her privacy. Whatever this is, she’ll figure it out, I’m sure, but the last thing she needs is me—”
She latched on to my wrist with a surprisingly strong grip. “You’re wrong, and so is she. What she needs is you. This involves you as much as her.”
My brows dipped because I couldn’t see how that was possible and then… I sucked in a sharp breath, every cell in my body suddenly alert and on edge. Was she implying? That I…that we…?
“Shit,” I ground ou
t. “Is she pregnant?”
She squeezed her eyes shut, released my hand, and wilted against the wall. “I think so. She is going to hate me forever—dammit, this didn’t go the way I’d planned at all.”
Clapping a hand to her shoulder until she looked at me, I shook my head. “It’s okay, Zoe. Look, I’m glad you told me. I’ve got a client.”
I felt hollow as I walked back inside the shop. Staring at the walls full of flash like I did every time I came in for the past eight years. My blood was cold, my hands shaking.
Pregnant.
That one word was like a blast of cannon in my head. I was only twenty-six years old, she twenty-three. What the hell were we supposed to do with a child? Did I even want to be a dad? The thought had never even crossed my mind. I mean, I’d thought about kids, but in an abstract sense. Something that would happen down the road when I was more settled and preferably in a healthy relationship, not as the result of a one-night stand.
There was no way in hell I was going over to her apartment right now. I was too muddled. I had to have time to think this through, to get this information processed before I could handle seeing her.
“What was that all about?” Candy’s soft accent pricked through my shock.
Blinking, I looked up at her. Dressed in a shiny black micro-mini skirt and a flowing black top with boots that laced up to her knees and heels that were a good three inches long, she looked every bit like Elvira’s stepsister. Except where Elvira had the onyx hair, hers was a bright magenta that flowed in soft waves down her ivory arms.
She was filing her long pink nails and giving me a sharp eyed look like she knew or already suspected what Zoe and I had been talking about.
Just then Zoe came back in and without looking at either one of us walked toward Ryko’s closed office door. She was really off her game today if she didn’t even bother to give Candy one of her infamous proverbial bitch slaps before walking past.
I shook my head. “Nothing.”
I was spared from having to come up with any more lame-ass excuses when the bell above the shop door rang. Springing to my feet, I rushed up to meet my appointment. A tall, dark-haired woman with piercings in her left brow, nose, and tongue smiled at me.
She had nice looking features, a strong jaw for a female, but with soft, lush lips and piercing green eyes. Her hair was a pile of dreds bunched up into a messy bun, and she was dressed in a short blue jean skirt and flower-print top with black Doc Martens on her feet. She reminded me a lot of the girls from the city back home in Norway. That sort of eclectic, cool style that originated from the techno rave scene.
“Hi, I’m Nina.” She smiled at me, revealing a small gap between her front teeth.
I shook her hand, noticing she came up to my chin. Which meant she had to be tall, maybe even taller than Zoe as I was six-foot-six and a half.
“I’m Tor. What were you looking to get done today, Nina?”
Turning on her heel, she slipped the top off her left shoulder, revealing a small, crudely drawn black and white butterfly. “This thing looks awful. I wanted a cover-up with maybe a Wonderland on acid kind of theme?”
I studied the lines of her back; apart from the small butterfly her skin was a blank canvas. “I think I can do that, but you’re asking for a big piece.”
“Yeah, that’s fine.” She shrugged, giving me a flirty smile. “I’ve got nowhere else to be today.”
Any other day and I might have taken my lead from her cue. “Give me about twenty minutes to draw something up, just take a seat over there.” I pointed to the large hand-shaped chairs behind her.
Without giving her a chance to say anything else I walked to the backroom and drafted up a sketch. I didn’t have a fucking clue what I was going to do about Jamie, but for now I would draw, lose myself in the hum of the needle and the scent of ink. What I needed was to not think for a couple hours, and then maybe…just maybe I could tackle things.
It’d taken me six hours with Nina—the piece had been bigger than I’d first imagined—but she’d been a good client. Chatting and talking about whatever came into her head. She was in graphics school and in her final year. She liked the color pink, and listened almost exclusively to 70s rock.
In six hours I felt like I’d come to know her better than I knew Jamie. Which was really sad and only emphasized the madness of our situation. I was cleaning my station, putting my inkwells away and ready to call it a day when Ryko came by.
“Hey man, shit, what a rough fucking day. I need a drink—you done for the night?”
I nodded, stood, and stretched. “Yeah.”
“You got the Fok thing tonight?” He grinned.
I snorted. Ryko always did like to give me shit about the band name. Even though I’d told him a million times it meant “fog” in the Old Norse tongue.
“Nah.” I shoved my wallet into my back pocket. “Tomorrow night.”
His dark eyes gleamed. “Got anything to do?”
It felt like I did, but I couldn’t stop thinking that if Jamie really did want me there she’d have called me. What if that baby wasn’t even mine?
I sighed. “Not really.”
“Candy,” Ryko yelled at her, “you and Z hold down the fort for about two hours, I’m getting some chow.”
Zoe rolled her eyes before turning back to her client. She was doing a Betty Boop and it looked pretty good. In another year or two she’d have the chops to start her own shop if she wanted to. Though I hoped she wouldn’t leave us.
Candy shot up from her chair, glaring at Ryko. “You promised we’d go out tonight, Ry-ry.”
Waving her off, he turned back to me and jerked his head toward the door. “C’mon. Cactus Jack’s doing a late happy hour.”
Jack’s was just down the road. Second we were out the door, Ryko shoved his hands down in his jeans pockets and growled. “I swear that bitch is only with me for my dick and what I can buy her.”
“She’s loyal.” I chuckled, letting the sights and sounds of downtown Austin wash through me. The chaotic and frenzied pace of this Texas city was what’d drawn me here. My love for old John Wayne movies as a boy, thinking I wanted to grow up and be a cowboy on the rugged plains. Of course, the second I got to the States and realized that it didn’t look a damn thing like the movies of my youth, I figured out quick enough there was still a lot to love here.
For better or worse, this was my home now.
He snorted.
We didn’t say anything else until we were seated at the bar ordering our beers. Jamie only lived four blocks from here. I squelched the thought immediately.
Cactus Jack’s wasn’t as busy as on the weekends, but there was laughter and a live blues band playing, the smell of hot wings in the air, and waitresses dressed in short shorts and tops. Ryko was drilling a hole in the bartender’s ass. She was just his type. Tall, slim, and athletic. With dark brown hair and a ready smile.
Bending over, she grabbed our beers, then brought them back. His gaze never wavered from her. There was a magnetic pull about Ryko, something that always seemed to draw the women to him.
I wasn’t really sure what it was—the man made no bones about the fact that he only wanted them for sex. Nine times out of ten they were more than willing to play along. Sex was fun, of course, and I’d gone through a phase in my early twenties right after getting here. I’d been with plenty of women I had no intention of being with long term, but I’d been very careful to only pick out those who felt as I had. That had been a very dark period of my life, but once the pain had begun to dull, I’d outgrown the casual flings.
Until of course the other night with Jamie. But I’d never intended for that to be casual either.
And somehow my thoughts circled right back around to her. As it always seemed to do.
“Whatcha doin’ tonight?” Ryko asked her, glancing down at the bartende
r’s nametag with a lascivious smirk on his lips as she shoved our Coronas at us.
“Mandy,” she offered, and cocked her head. “Nothing. I’m off in about ten minutes, actually.”
Pursing his lips, he chugged on his brew and smirked. “Come get me when you are.”
With a trilling laugh, she sauntered off to the other end of the counter to wait on new customers who’d just sat down.
“Can’t believe that shit works for you,” I drawled, taking a swig of my beer. I’d asked her to squeeze a lime into it, and it tasted like she’d squeezed two. It was good, but had a kick to it.
He laughed, but didn’t say anything else about Mandy. “How’re things going, man?”
The band began the opening strains to “House of the Rising Sun.” I drummed my fingers on the polished chrome bar top. “Fok’s got a gig at the Austin amphitheater in a few months, we’re opening for some big band, no idea who yet.”
“Sweet.” He nodded. “Y’all are getting big time, man.”
“Yeah.” I snorted, taking a sip. “But I’m not sure that’s a good thing. I can sense Zander trying to shift the sound of the group. I’m not sure I like it.”
“Then change it back. That’s your band.” He lifted his brows and then tipped his beer at me before taking a huge swallow.
I shrugged. “I dunno.” I flicked at the neck. “I’m not having as much fun anymore. Feels like some want to go one direction, others a different way. I’m not sure what’s going on with us right now.”
“Well, I’m sure you’ll figure it out.” Ryko gazed back at the bartender, who was smirking back at him.
Not wanting to be part of the mental foreplay going on between those two, I averted my gaze. Was I being a dick by not rushing over to Jamie’s? I kind of sensed I might be, but everything inside of me was so damn confused.
If she was pregnant and that was my baby, then why hadn’t she called me? But if it wasn’t my baby, then the last thing in the world I wanted was to go over there and be told that to my face.
Rockers After Dark: 6 Book Bundle of Sexy Musicians Page 64
