Breaths feathery, I latched on to his wrist when he pulled back and leaned my cheek deeper into his touch. “You’re here.”
His dark, stormy blue eyes devoured me. Assessing me from top to bottom. I wasn’t in my sexiest of nighties; I’d brought a pair of dark brown knee length stretchies and a long shirt with Minnie Mouse’s smiling face on the front.
Meanwhile, he looked good enough to eat. Tor was dressed in the distressed jeans he favored and a black Pantera shirt that made his eyes pop. My mouth watered.
I didn’t know if it was pregnancy hormones making me so aware of him, but he was so unbelievably sexy. Even with the dark circles shading his eyes.
“I hope I didn’t overstep, I just got the sense you might…” He cringed as if not sure whether to finish his thought.
“Thank you.” I whispered it from the bottom of my heart. “Seriously, thank you.”
Tugging him inside by the wrist, I locked and closed the door behind us. Now that he was here the panic wasn’t nearly so overwhelming. Glancing around the sparsely furnished room, I felt a little embarrassed. It’d been the cheapest one I could find in close proximity to the conference. There was a bed, a seventies-style dresser replete with golden lamp, and a small desk and chairs pushed against the window.
“Tor?”
He looked at me.
“I need a hug.”
He wrapped me in his massive arms, pulling me completely off the ground.
Laughing, I snuggled my cheek into the crook of his neck and inhaled the spicy coolness of his scent.
Taking us over to the bed, he sat down but didn’t release me. Instead he cradled me, and the feeling of being treasured almost brought tears to my eyes. It wasn’t that I was some damsel in distress needing rescuing—I’ve managed to take care of myself for past the few years just fine. But there was also nothing wrong with letting the white knight take the reins every once in a while, either.
I wrapped my arms around his thick neck and marveled at how small I was compared to him. He didn’t say anything for the longest time, just rubbed circles on my back and held me as if it were vital, as if he’d needed this as much as I had.
A startling, and terrifying thought intruded. Was I being stupid by letting him in this way? By not shielding myself better? What if this didn’t last? What if tomorrow he realized I had too many issues, too much baggage? What then?
But behind the panic came the gentle knowledge that if it didn’t last, I should enjoy it now. No one else could be the sole source of my happiness, and I shouldn’t make him that. If there was one thing my parents absence had taught me, it was that you needed to be strong and confident in yourself.
I kissed his neck, delighting at the rush of goosebumps he got when I did it.
“Eskelde,” he murmured in a much gruffer voice than I was used to from him. He sighed, framing my face again, pressing our foreheads together.
Honesty. Truth.
I took a deep breath. “I bled last night, Tor.”
“What?” He frowned, gaze immediately shooting down between us. “That’s not good, right?”
Mouth grown dry, I shook my head. “I don’t know. I read in your book that it could be normal. Maybe.”
“We should go to the hospital.” He made as if to stand.
I gently pushed on his chest. “I don’t know where it’s at here, and I have no desire to drive around downtown Dallas, especially at this hour. I only spotted, and very lightly. I’ll go first thing tomorrow when I get home.”
Getting up, still holding on to me, he walked to the head of the bed before gently laying me down beneath the sheets. “You should have told me sooner.”
He sounded disappointed with me, and my lips tipped downward. I wrapped my arms around myself, missing his warmth already.
But he wasn’t going anywhere. Tor toed off his biker boots then pulled his shirt over his head. Exposing the long, lean lines of smooth, solid sun-kissed muscle. I gulped, hypnotized by the flex and movement of his body. Next came his jeans. Undoing the button, he slid them down his legs, causing his boxers to shift just a bit, exposing the V of muscle that tapered to his legs.
My eyes widened as my mouth watered, the blood in my veins grew hot, and though I knew I couldn’t have sex with him until I figured out what was going on with my body, it only made my need more desperate.
Last, he pulled the knot of his hair down. He’d cut it while I’d been gone and it now came to just above his shoulders, but gave him a sexy Calvin Klein unkempt-model vibe that made my knees shake and center ache.
“Tor, you sure you’re not related to the gods?” I grinned.
Which caused the dark clouds in his gaze to lift just a little. Kneeling on the bed, he tapped my thigh so that I’d move over, before crawling under the sheets with me. “I’m happy that you think so.”
Unable to resist from running my fingers along his hard bicep, I squeezed until he turned to me. His hair was plastered against the pillow I’d just been lying on, his full lips were slightly parted, and I knew I’d be dancing with fire if I allowed myself even a second to give in to the temptation of kissing him.
Heart beating violently in my throat, I leaned over until the heat of our bodies touched. Just to get the spark of him. Sharing breath with one another. “It’s not just me, Charming. You have to know the way girls look at you.”
His knuckles brushed my cheeks. “There is only one woman I want to look at me like this, and as long as you do, I can die a happy man.”
Placing my palm to my chest, I pulled away. That man gave me serious feels. Scary feels. Wonderful, exciting, delicious feels.
Reaching up with his long-ass arm, he turned off the lamp. I would have had to move half off the bed to reach it from where he had.
“Come here and let me feel you.” He patted his shoulder.
Having zero problems with that sleeping arrangement, I cuddled into his warm side, slipping my hand beneath my cheek and taking in three drugging lungfuls of air. He smelled like soap and cologne.
His fingers threaded through the ends of my long hair and I closed my eyes, the sleep that’d eluded me for hours now threatening to come on with a vengeance.
“What is this name Charming?’” he asked.
I smiled, lips stretching against his hot skin, coming dangerously close to one nipple. It would be nothing to pull it into my mouth and tug on it with my teeth. The man was like a drug to my senses.
“Prince Charming. You came to my rescue tonight.”
He tipped my jaw back so that our eyes met. “You did not mind, then?”
“No. I really didn’t.” Digging my toes into the mattress, I moved up just enough to lightly feather my lips to his.
He sighed into the touch.
“I was going to tell you about the bleeding, Tor, I promise. I wasn’t going to keep this from you. I was scared and panicked and didn’t know what to do. I figured when I saw you tomorrow I’d tell you and ask you to take me to the hospital then.”
He shook his head. “I feel very confused about all of this. But I don’t want that either. Do you understand?”
I did. He was telling me exactly what I was feeling. A baby right now wasn’t ideal. But losing it wasn’t any better.
Strumming my fingers on his ridged abdomen, I stared at the wall with unseeing eyes. “What if I’ve miscarried? I was so careful, I didn’t lift anything heavy, and didn’t walk a whole lot. And I didn’t have any alcohol, either. I tried—”
“Jamie.” He kissed the top of my head, playing with my hair again.
I loved it when he did that. My hair was an erogenous zone for me, I know that might be weird, but it was why I took such pride in keeping it healthy and clean, because whenever anybody played with it totally turned me on.
I was such a weirdo.
“Then we deal with t
hat, too. My mother had many in her life. I was her last pregnancy and her only viable child.”
I wrapped my leg around his, playing with the hairs on them. “Tell me about your parents.”
He smiled. “They were wonderful people. Old when they had me. My mother birthed me in her fifties.”
“Wow,” I gasped. “I was thinking more like late thirties.”
He chuckled. “I remember growing up we’d get people looking at us and saying how much my grandmother must love me. She’d just smile and I’d laugh—it became something of a running joke between us. Pappa was a fisherman, as were all men in my village. And often gone, as he was the captain of his ship. Cod. It’s what he caught. He’d bring home barrelfuls after each excursion. I think if I don’t see cod for the rest of my life I should be very happy.”
I giggled, imagining a little six-year-old Tor poking at his steaming plate of cod with a frown on his rosebud lips.
He squeezed me gently.
“Tell me more. What made you leave?” I asked, wanting to know.
The moment I asked it I sensed an immediate shift in his mood. With his parents being as old as they’d been when they had him, they might even be gone now. Frowning, I pulled up onto my elbow. “I’m sorry, that was personal.”
“No.” He gave me a small smile. “No, you should know. I fell in love back in Norway.”
That was not at all what I’d been expecting to hear and, if I were being honest with myself, the immediate tightening in my gut was definitely the stirrings of jealousy.
“Oh,” was all I could manage to say.
The room was so dark, the quiet heavy as the shadows danced along the walls from passing motorists outside.
“Her name was Ida. Ida Dahl.”
He said it with not only love but a thread of reverence. I had no right to be upset to hear it; he hadn’t lived in Norway for years. And yet, there was a side of me that liked thinking I was the only one he’d ever felt like this for. Completely irrational thought, I knew. Especially considering my own circumstances.
“What?” I cleared my throat. “What happened to her?”
Blinking himself back to the present he looked at me, rubbing my cheek. I was becoming addicted to his touch. Every time he did it I felt something fractured inside of me begin to mend. It was scary how quickly I was falling for this gentle giant.
“We met back in primary school, and I knew even as a little boy that there was something about her that was special. Ida loved the stars. We’d sneak out of our homes at night and lie down on the docks, looking up at the stars. She’d invent wild stories with the gods as her central theme. It was fun, and both our parents knew quickly that we were probably going to marry someday. Settle down. I’d take over my father’s business—that’s how things happened there.”
I wanted to listen to this story without the ache of knowing just how close I’d come to never meeting him. It was ridiculous the urge I felt to wrap my arms around him just so that I could lay my stamp on him, claim him as mine in the quiet darkness of this Dallas, Texas hotel room.
He pushed hair out of my eyes as he narrowed his own. I was trapped in his gaze, ensnared by the rich beauty of his blues.
“We dated all through upper secondary. I was turning seventeen and while everyone else was dreaming of heading to the city, my dreams were humble. As were hers. I’d found my happiness, it was enough.”
I planted my palm over his heart, letting the steady beat of it soothe my own.
After a long pause, his lips thinned. “I do not often speak of Ida, it is very hard for me.”
“What happened, Tor?” I traced his jaw with my thumb, knowing the next part of this story would probably be a heartbreaker.
“Ida went out with her pappa to sea, it was just supposed to be a quick weekend catch. But he was a man short and she’d been trained since infancy to fish the waters. She was a wonderful deckhand. A storm came, and I knew standing on the dock that night as I watched the lightning dance upon the choppy waves it would be a miracle if she returned to me.”
“Oh, Tor.” I twined his fingers through mine, but he was again back in the past and far away from me.
“We found out in truth the next morning what we’d feared the night before: the ship had sunk. Her body was found three days later. All I kept thinking was why had I waited to ask her to marry me until her return.” His lips thinned. “My biggest regret was that she never knew I’d been carrying a ring in my pocket for the past three days.”
Tears crowded my eyes and I regretted my jealousy, wishing only to take the haunted look out of his gaze.
“Hey.” I tipped his face toward mine.
His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, and a reversal happened between us. Because no longer was I the broken one and he the knight come to save me, but now it was my turn to save him. I hated that he had lost Ida, but I was also selfishly glad to have him in my life now.
Taking his lips, I breathed what little strength I had in me into him. I gave him me, the parts of me I’d only ever saved for Angel. The pieces that were cracked and broken, but still there, still going, still able to give. I thought I’d had nothing left, but beyond my growing hunger for this man, was the need to help. To make him feel whole again. And the beauty of it was that I knew he wouldn’t take more than I could give.
His warm hand slid underneath my shirt, sliding up my bare back until he had the leverage to pull me on top of him. I came to him willingly, spreading myself over him like a living blanket. We were a giant hug of arms and legs.
I kissed him with all my heart and all my soul and knew that as I was giving of myself to him, he was also giving to me right back.
We were like two lost and broken souls traveling on separate paths, and had the terrible things not happened to us as they had, we’d still be moving in opposite directions. But by some miracle our paths had intersected and we’d stopped just long enough to look up. And I was so grateful for that.
“I’m so glad I looked up, Tor,” I whispered upon his lips.
He nodded. “I don’t fall in love often, Jamie. It is a deliberate decision and action on my part because I know that if I allow it in, then it is in forever. I will not leave, no matter what happens with the child.”
There were still so many issues between us. Angel being first and foremost. Our relationship was done, but my relationship with his family, the responsibilities I felt, they were still very much there and I would be a fool to think that it might not come between us down the road.
But just for tonight, I set all the worries away. For tonight I allowed myself to imagine what it might feel like if it was just Tor and I forever.
Chapter Ten
Tor
We got up bright and early the next morning, both of us wanting to get back to Austin so I could take her to the hospital. Now that I was here, I was driving her back. I didn’t want to let her out of my sight again.
We pulled into the city limits just a little past ten in the morning and walked into the ER thirty minutes later.
Her skin looked paler this morning, but I hadn’t asked her if she’d bled any more. But she’d come out of the bathroom fighting tears and shaking. It broke my heart to see her that way, and made me feel completely helpless and useless.
I was getting her seated when a nurse came out and called her back to check her vitals.
She looked at me.
“Go, let me call Zoe and Zander and let them know I could be gone for several hours today.”
“Charming, are you sure?” She gripped my hand.
It warmed me how easily those pet names now slipped from her tongue. Our stay in that room last night had changed the dynamics of our relationship. It’d been hard to share as I had, but I’m grateful I did. I still worried about Angel and the influence he had on her life, but I was determined to see this thro
ugh.
“Ms. Sullivan,” the nurse repeated impatiently.
Jamie stood.
“Yes, I’ll be right here when you come back out.”
Nodding, she wrapped the ivory cardigan tighter around her and marched into the back room.
Getting up, I walked outside and made the phone calls. Told Zoe to cover my shift, which she was all too happy to do. Ryko was pissed as fuck, but he’d get over it. The business was a quarter mine, so he could just chill. This was the first time in eight years that I’d called out last minute like this.
Zander, on the other hand…
“Fuck, man,” he snarled. “You know we’ve got the gig next week and you still don’t have the rhythm down. You need to be here tonight for practice.”
“Look, dude,” I tunneled my fingers through my hair, “my girl needs me. I don’t give a fuck about that gig right now.”
“Tor, I know Fok is your brainchild, but this shit has got to stop. You’ve been flaking ever since you got with that stupid chick.”
Fire built in my bones. “Say another word about her and I swear to God you’ll regret it.”
He growled. “You know what I mean. She’s just some pussy, man, you’ve got to decide what’s more important. The band or the girl. Cause this shit’s important.”
“Zander, you’re a great guitar player, and you write the best lyrics around, but you’re right, this is my band and I won’t hesitate to kick your ass out of it.”
“You don’t mean that. We’re about to hit the next level, man.”
“Yeah, and I told you I wasn’t in this shit to get there. You contacted that promoter, you got us that gig, local, that’s what I told all of you from the beginning. So don’t act surprised that I’m not on board with it. Let Lilith know that we’re switching up the order of the songs. I wrote one last week, I want her to practice it tonight.”
“Tor,” Zander’s voice grew louder. “You gotta be here.”
Disgusted, I hung up the phone. Everyone in the band knew I wasn’t replaceable. It was my influence that gave us the Scandinavian sound we were known for. Just let them try to get rid of me; I’d take my ideas and my music with me.
Rockers After Dark: 6 Book Bundle of Sexy Musicians Page 68
