Shaking his head, he shoveled his fingers through his hair and mock-glowered. “Pregnant women. You will be the death of me.”
“But you love it, right?”
The humor left him. “Always.”
If I hadn’t just come twice, I might have come from that look alone. That sort of caveman, alpha marking of his territory glance that made my toes and head tingle with a sudden rush of blood.
He returned moments later with a plate full of cake and a large glass of water.
Tor ate like an athlete, which was to say he rarely indulged in anything high-calorie. Especially cake. He held it out to me. Scooting up on the bed until my back was pressed against the wall, I took it from him as he sat next to me.
“Wanna try it?” I asked him from the corner of my eye.
“Yes.” He nodded. “I do wish to try my daughter’s cake.”
Deliriously happy, I cut into it with my fork. “Guess what I figured out I can do today?”
“What?” he asked as I lifted the bite of cake to his lips.
He took it between his teeth and I sat the plate onto my stomach, balancing it perfectly on the soccer ball-sized belly I now sported.
Chuckling, he swallowed his bite. “That is very impressive. And that cake is delicious.”
I was just about to say thanks when the plate toppled off my belly from a powerful kick that had not come from him. Dropping the fork, I gasped and grabbed my belly, not caring about the frosting staining my sheets.
“Oh my god,” I breathed.
“What?” His eyes grew worried. He covered my hands. “Did I hurt you? Do you need to go to the hospital?”
I laughed. “She kicked!”
Grabbing his hand, I moved my own and placed his where mine had been. But the little snot decided not to give an encore performance.
He frowned. “I missed it.”
“She kicked me hard enough to make that plate fall off.”
He chuckled. “She’s got the Viking blood in her.”
I sniffed. “It’s called Texas thunder, Charming. Let’s not confuse the two.”
We laughed for a minute and then I grew serious. “Names. Crib. Clothes. Oh my god, Tor, we are so far behind on everything.”
“We’ll start. I’ll get us name books tomorrow.”
I played with my thumbnail. “My parents come in two months and I still haven’t told them about this. I just don’t even know how.”
“Don’t be worried, Jamie, they’ll love her.”
I shook my head. “I’m not worried about that. It’s just that my parents aren’t really a part of my life. They have their own. I know they love me, but I’m kinda a Cliff Note in their world. I think if they do that to her it would really hurt me.”
“No matter what happens, love, we’re in this together.”
I smiled, but it didn’t ease any of the worry. I’ve often found that when life gets good, bad things are just around the corner waiting to drag you down.
Chapter Seventeen
Six Months
Jamie
The phone rang.
Where before I’d only felt like a whale, now I was coming to resemble one. Walking while constantly bumping into things was pretty much the norm at this point. Tor had already left to go to work for the day and I was home alone trying to catch up on edits.
I couldn’t wait to be done with this pregnancy. I was so over the swollen sausage toes and fingers in the morning.
“Hold on,” I griped at the phone sitting on the kitchen counter as I hauled my big butt up off the couch, waddling slowly as I tried to work through the morning aches.
My parents were coming next month, so it was probably mom ringing with some last-minute details about something or other.
“Hello?” I said as perkily as I could manage.
“Jamie.”
I froze for a second as the deep tenor of a voice I hadn’t heard in months filtered down the line. “Angel?” I squeaked out.
How much did it suck that I hadn’t even given the man much if any thought in my head these past few months?
Clearing my throat, I shook my head. Plopping onto the stool. “Hey, how are you? How’s the rehab going?” I cringed; he was probably done by now.
Gah, I hated this anxious, nervous feeling I got talking to him. All the old hurts and pains and fears came flooding back hearing his voice.
“Good. I finished the rehab last month. I can walk pretty good now, need a cane sometimes when my knee feels weak, but otherwise I’m pretty good.”
“Good.” I grimaced. Lost for what else to say.
The seconds ticked by.
“So…ah…”
“Yeah.” I laughed, rubbing my belly. “This is only a little weird.”
“A little weird, yeah, that works.”
I tapped my fingers on the kitchen counter. “So what’s up?”
“I wanted to see you,” he said it softly.
“Angel, I don’t think that’s such a—”
“Only for a few minutes. Look, Mama forced me into counseling. She was determined that this time I actually straighten the hell up.”
“Yeah, that’s good of her, I’m glad she finally made you.”
“I know. I know,” he grumped.
I sighed, missing his mother more than I cared to admit. No, it hadn’t been cool for her to ask me to keep the pregnancy a secret from Angel, but on the other hand had I been in her shoes I might have felt the exact same way if my child were going through rehab.
“Anyway,” he continued, “I realized you and I left things off really bad and I thought that maybe if we talked we could move past—”
“I’m pregnant.” I blurted it out. Wincing the moment I said it because there were so many other ways I could have tactfully done that.
When he didn’t speak after ten long seconds I squeaked out his name. “Angel?”
“I’m here.”
“Did you hear me?”
Again there was silence. My gaze drifted toward the vineyard scene that Tor had painted on the kitchen walls.
He was like a man possessed lately, asking me what I wanted to see on the walls, and no matter how far out there, like the snowstorm in the bathroom, he did it. My heart warmed to think of him.
“I heard you,” he mumbled.
“I’m…I’m sorry,” I stuttered, not sure why I was apologizing. But I always felt like I needed to whenever Angel was around. Like I was screwing up and disappointing him all the time.
“Yeah, it’s, whatever.” He chuckled. “Are you happy?”
I thinned my lips, feeling weird talking to him about Tor. “Yes.”
“Do you mind if I ask how far along you are?”
My stomach fluttered with nerves. That was really none of his business. He and I weren’t dating, hadn’t even been dating when I’d gotten pregnant. But if I told him how far along, it wouldn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out it’d happened right around the time of his crash.
“Your silence is deafening.” He snorted, but it wasn’t a happy sound.
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Angel. I’m not sure telling you that will make things any better.”
“How. Long. Jamie? That’s all I want to know.”
“I’m several months along,” I whispered.
“What the fuck!” he snapped and I jumped as if he were in the room with me. Then just as suddenly the line went dead and there was nothing but a loud, grating beeping in my ear.
Aware that the front door was unlocked, I put my phone down and marched over, locking it, dead bolting it, and even putting on the chain for good measure. Don’t ask me why I did it, or even whether it was a sixth sense, intrinsically understanding that what’d just happened was only the beginning, but less than five minutes later I heard a k
ey being inserted into my front door and the knob was wiggling, then the deadbolt turned over.
My door jerked open, but the chain held and didn’t open far enough for the intruder to poke his head in.
“Jamie, open the hell up!” It was Angel and he sounded way beyond pissed.
I sat on my couch, hugging the pillow to my chest, having no idea what Angel might do but knowing his tempers could be ferocious when he got into a mood.
Usually it wouldn’t bother me; he’d never hurt me. But I was pregnant now, and the thought of him doing anything to even accidentally hurt the baby kept me petrified. “Go away!” I yelled back at him as he again tried to open the door. I wasn’t sure how much strain a chain could handle.
I debated whether to call the cops, or Tor, but discarded both ideas instantly. The cops didn’t need to be involved in this and Tor would go ape shit.
“I want to talk to you,” he growled.
“Angel, there is nothing to talk about and I forgot that I ever gave you my keys. You need to slide those back to me now and go.”
“Open the door!” he yelled and kicked at the bottom of it.
I jumped. Because he’d never, never once acted like this before. Hugging my arms to my chest, I got up and went toward the phone, knowing I had no choice but to call the cops if he kept this up.
“Angel, either you leave or I will call the police. I’ve got neighbors, by the way. Big frat boy neighbors.”
“Jamie, why?” His voice cracked and immediately I sensed that the danger of just seconds ago was gone. “I’m…I’m…damn, Jams, I’m sorry.” This time his voice broke and I knew he was crying.
Heartbeat finally coming down to normal, healthy levels, I slowly put the phone back onto the counter.
“I screwed up big. That’s what I wanted to tell you. What I needed to tell you. I’ve got my life right. I got a good job, I’m functioning, but I’m not right without you. This sobriety shit is hard on me, Jamie, the night terrors are worse and I miss you so damn bad I can hardly breathe.”
I heard a rustle of movement, like he was slowly sliding down my door.
Just how close had Angel been when he’d called me? Because there was no way in hell he should have gotten here so quick. My mind instantly flashed to the weird phone calls I’d been getting lately from out of state. Calls that’d continued for weeks now with no one answering when I said hello. I’d shrugged it off as just really aggressive telemarketing, but what if it wasn’t?
“I’m sorry, Jamie.” He whispered it over and over, sounding broken and like he was hurting.
Clutching at my chest, my own heart aching because this had never been the way things were supposed to end. “Angel, you need…” I inhaled deeply, “You need to go.”
“Jamie, you can’t leave me.”
It was mortifying that anyone and everyone could hear this conversation if they walked past. Tor was not going to like this at all if he found out.
Not like I’d invited Angel here, but I could only imagine how pissed he’d be if he learned of this.
“Angel, I swear to you I’m not trying to hurt you. But you really do need to go. I…we can’t do this right now.”
I thought he might do more, say something else to try and convince me to open the door. But there was a scraping sound and then I saw the keys being pushed through the opening of the door.
“I’ll see you around, Jams,” he said softly and I waited until the echo of his shuffling footsteps walking down the hall disappeared.
I felt frozen on my seat long after I knew he was probably gone. But what if he was still out there? Just waiting for me to open the door? To make sure that he was gone? Would he grab me? Hurt me?
In my head I kept saying there was no way, that wasn’t how Angel was. But I didn’t really have a clue who he was anymore. I hadn’t for years.
I couldn’t sit here frozen with indecision forever.
Eventually I worked my nerve up enough to tiptoe over to the door. My heart was pounding in my throat. I counted to sixty in my head before poking my head around the opening and was able to breathe out a heavy sigh of relief when all that I saw was an empty hallway.
Just as I was about to close it, my frat boy neighbor peeked his around the corner. His eyes were bloodshot and glazed, as if he’d just woken up from an all-night bender, which he probably had.
Barefoot and wearing gray workout pants. The kind Rocky had worn in his workout montage, his black and red lumberjack shirt was only buttoned up part of the way, and one end was tucked into the waistband of his pants. In short, he looked a wreck, but when he gave me a grin and shoved a lock of thick curly brown hair out of his eyes, I wondered if maybe I’d also short-changed this guy.
It was a habit of mine that I wasn’t very proud of.
“You okay?” he asked in an alcohol-roughened voice.
I gripped the edge of the door so hard some of my knuckles popped. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
It dawned on me that I’d never even learned his name.
“Carter.” He dipped his head and touched his chest as if he could hear my thoughts. “And you’re Jamie.”
I frowned. “How did you know—”
He scratched at his dark whiskers. “Hottest girl on the floor, I pay attention to things like that. Anyway, I heard the commotion, just wanted to make sure you were good.”
The nerves that’d wound me tight while Angel was here began to ease, like a tide rolling gently over sand. “Yeah, I’m good. I was just—”
Tor suddenly appeared in the stairwell looking between the two of us with a startled expression.
“Hey, can you hold on, stay right there so I can open the door.” I held up a finger to Carter and then shut the door, quickly undoing the chain lock so I could open it fully.
When I did, it was to see Tor shaking hands with Carter and smiling broadly. My heart did that stupid pitter-patter thing in my chest again. Because Angel had just been here, it was easy to make the comparisons between the two.
Whenever Angel and I were “on,” he never liked me to look at or even speak with another guy; he’d grow instantly suspicious of anyone I did it with. Didn’t matter to him that he was constantly screwing around on me, I was never allowed the same privileges. Not that I would have taken them, mind you—we may not have been married, but I was now and had always been a one man kind of woman.
Tor didn’t even act suspicious. He looked curious but not angry. He introduced himself to my neighbor.
“I’m Jamie’s boyfriend,” he said and then looked between us. “You okay?”
“Yeah, um, I was just coming over to check that out for myself.” Carter flipped his wrist over, showing his palm as he pointed at me. “Heard a guy screaming at her, kicking on the door, I knew she was pregnant, just thought I’d check it out.”
My lower jaw jutted out the moment he said it, knowing Tor would figure it out.
“Thanks, I appreciate that.” He clapped Carter on the back in such a way as to let him know he’d take care of it now. When he turned to look at me, I felt the pressure of his stare like a dead weight and grimaced.
Tor walked inside and shut the door behind him. “Babe.”
He was asking, but not really. That brilliant mind of his had put two and two together. Sighing, I waddled over to the couch. “I’m fine. Angel paid me an unexpected visit.”
“He was kicking our door?” I could practically see the steam swirling from his ears as he sat beside me, wrapping his big arm around my shoulders and tugging me into his side. “Did you call the cops?”
“No,” I whispered.
His eyes grew stormy. “You didn’t call me.”
“Look, I didn’t want it to escalate. I had the door locked—he wasn’t getting in. Aren’t you proud of me?” I rubbed his chest.
He was so tense and not even lookin
g at me as his breathing grew hard and heavy. I’d never seen Tor this pissed, and boy, was he ever; there could be no doubt about that.
“Tor?”
Holding up his hand, he closed his eyes. “I should beat his ass.”
“No.” I shook my head. “Don’t do that. He’s gone, okay? And I got the keys back from him, so it’s over. Really, really over.”
“He had our keys? Goddammit.” His molars ground together as he glared at the mural of flowers he’d painted for me months ago.
I didn’t like seeing him this angry or this worked up. “Baby, he’s gone. I’m sorry.”
Finally, his shoulders slumped a little and he looked at me. “I’m not mad at you, Jamie. But I am fucking furious with him. We’re getting those locks changed today. I don’t want him anywhere around you again.”
“I understand how you feel.” I nodded. “I do. Angel was wrong to do what he did, but I know how to handle him. I’ve been handling him for over—”
“No, Jamie.” He shifted so that his body was completely open to mine. “No, you don’t know how I feel, okay? You, the baby—those are precious to me. I’ve lost before; I won’t lose again. I can’t. I know you think you can save Angel, but you can’t. He needs help. More help than you can give. You’re a crutch for him. You’re only going to make him worse, not better. What you need is to cut him out of your life completely.”
Feeling as though I’d been slapped, I gaped at him. “What? You can’t be serious. I’ve been honest and faithful to you ever since we got together, and now you’re making demands of me?”
He jumped to his feet, pacing back and forth in front of me.
My pulse was racing so hard I swear I could taste the adrenaline on the back of my tongue. This was the first time I wasn’t okay with Tor, and I was pissed. So fucking furious I was shaking all over.
“It’s like you don’t even have a clue how much of a hold on you he still has.” He shoved his hand at the door.
“What the hell are you talking about?” I shrieked, balling my hands into fists. “I don’t call him. I don’t go to him. I cut him out of my life completely. For you. For us. So give me some fucking credit here.”
Stopping his pacing, he turned on me, with his chest heaving in and out and his blond hair loose he looked like some berserker ready to do battle.
Rockers After Dark: 6 Book Bundle of Sexy Musicians Page 76
