by Tina Martin
“That’s sweet,” Siderra said. “Anytime you need a break just let me know. I’ll be glad to keep her.”
“You and everybody else,” Gemma said. “Royal adores her. Bernadette and Mason would keep her every day if they could. Even Regal comes over to spend some time with her.”
“That’s nice.” Siderra took a small bag with handles from her oversized purse. She handed it to Gianna and said, “I hope Rianne will be able to fit this by the winter.”
Gianna took the bag, removed the pink crochet sweater and said, “Aw…this is so pretty. How long did it take you to make this, Derra?”
“About...um…ten hours. I took my time—wanted it to be perfect.”
“It is. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
Felicity released a relaxing sigh. “What else is going on in St. Claire country?”
“Nothing much,” Gemma said. “Me and Royal are getting the house together. We’re going to have everybody over soon for a dinner party.”
“That’s nice,” Siderra said. She took another wing. “Are y’all planning on having kids?”
“No,” Gemma answered. “I don’t think my body could handle a pregnancy even if I did want to have a child. I’m good being auntie.”
“Ain’t nothing wrong with that,” Felicity said.
Gianna yawned. “I’m ready to go. I miss my baby. Both of them.”
“Aw...” Siderra said. “I would love to see her.”
“Come on. You can swing by.”
“Good. Then I can actually ask Romulus where he’s been.”
“Or you could start off by telling him you’re in love with him,” Felicity said then winked.
Siderra flashed a weak smile. She still didn’t have the nerve.
Chapter 14
Romulus
“Hey, what’s up, Rom?” Ramsey asked. He’d just come downstairs after putting Rianne to sleep. “When did you get here?”
“Five, maybe ten minutes ago. You must’ve been singing lullabies to baby girl.”
“I was.” Ramsey sat in his favorite recliner. “I thought you were going to get here a little sooner seeing as though Derra is hanging out with the women tonight.”
Romulus didn’t respond. He put his hands behind his head and leaned back on the sofa.
Royal glanced over at Ramsey.
Regal shook his head.
“What’s been up with you and Derra lately, anyway?” Royal asked. “Something feels off.”
“Nothing’s off,” Romulus said curtly. “Everything’s peachy.”
“How is Derra and what’s-his-name doing? Still going strong?” Regal asked just to get a reaction from his brother.
“I wouldn’t know,” Romulus said.
“She’s your best friend and you don’t know if she’s in love with—”
“Knock it off, Regal,” Romulus said frowning. “I knew I shouldn’t have come over here.”
“Whoa…what did we do?” Royal asked. “Me and Ram just sitting here drinking beers.”
“And all I did was ask a question,” Regal said. “By the way you reacted, you would think I hit a nerve but you don’t have feelings so that’s not possible.”
“Alright, Regal,” Ramsey said. “Chill. We’re supposed to be relaxed. Besides, it’s not every day we get to hang out and not discuss work, so just chill. Rom, you want a beer?”
“Nah.”
Royal’s eyes connected with Regal’s. They both looked at Ramsey as he shrugged. They knew something was up with Romulus but, as usual, he didn’t want to talk about it.
“Honey, I’m home,” Gianna said when she walked in.
“We’re in the family room, baby,” Ramsey called out.
Moments later, there stood Gianna and Siderra in the doorway.
Gianna greeted everyone before walking over to Ramsey, giving him a hug.
“Hey guys,” Siderra said, but she was looking at Romulus – the only brother who didn’t speak. That confirmed it for her. He was upset.
“Where’s munchkin?” Gianna asked Ramsey.
“She’s asleep. I put her in the crib about twenty minutes ago.”
“Nope, tell the truth Ramsey,” Regal said, amused. “Tell Gianna what you did to her baby girl.”
Ramsey grinned. “What are you talking about, Regal?”
“I’ma tell her,” Regal said. “Gianna, Ramsey’s singing was so bad, poor lil’ Rianne went to sleep cause she couldn’t take it anymore.”
Gianna laughed.
“Nice try, Regal, but my man has a nice singing voice.”
“Thank you, baby,” Ramsey told her.
“Welcome,” she replied. She took a quick kiss.
“What’s up with you, Derra?” Royal asked.
“Not much. You fellas look like you’re having a good time.”
“We are,” Regal said. “What about y’all? Did you have fun talking about us?”
Siderra smiled. “We weren’t talking about you guys. What would make you think something so absurd?”
“That weird-looking smile on your face for one thing,” Regal responded. “I know Felicity had something to say about me.”
Siderra thought about what Felicity said about running into Regal with her car and grinned. “Nah. She didn’t say a thing about you.”
“Yeah, right…”
Siderra looked at Romulus. He hadn’t looked her way or attempted to make eye contact since she arrived, so she decided to break the ice. “Hey, Rom.”
“Sup,” he said dryly, relaxed on the couch like he didn’t have a care in the world.
“I tried to call you…figured you must’ve been busy since, well, you didn’t call me back.”
“Yeah. I was busy,” he said coolly.
“Um, can I talk to you for a minute?” she asked.
He looked at her. Glared. Didn’t say a word.
The room got quiet. Too quiet.
Romulus’ stare turned into a frown. He didn’t want to move, but he reluctantly stood up and followed Siderra into the living room where it was just the two of them. “What’s up?” he asked, his hands in his pockets as he stared down at her.
She nervously chewed on her lip. She knew he was mad but that didn’t hinder her attraction to him in any way. He still made her weak. Made her stomach crawl with butterflies. “Did you get my voicemail and text messages?”
“Yeah. I got ‘em.”
“Why didn’t you respond back?”
“I didn’t want to.”
Siderra grimaced, taken aback by his answer. “Rom, I completely forgot about last night. It wasn’t intentional—”
“You forgot about last night with me, but when it comes to Jamar, a dude you hardly know, you’re down for whatever.”
“How’d you know I was with Jamar?”
He rolled his eyes. “Are you going to deny it now? I saw you with him.”
“You were spying on me?”
“No. Not at all. Are we done talking?” he asked, giving her a hard stare.
Siderra was beside herself. “Rom—”
“Are we done here?” he asked again.
“No,” she said boldly, blood pressure rising.
He raised a brow. “No?”
“No.”
“Okay. Since his tongue is not jammed down your throat, you want to talk. I see. What do you have to say to me now?”
“Oh my…you were watching us?”
“Yeah, I was—wanted to know where you were because I knew my best friend wasn’t standing me up again.”
“I told you it was a mistake,” she said raising her tone.
“I heard that part. I got it. My question is, what more do you want from me now?” he asked, his chest puffing in and out. He could mask his feelings by controlling his facial expressions but the body language was a dead giveaway.
“What is your problem, Romulus?”
“I’m not the one with a problem.”
“You must be since you’re t
he only one acting like a jerk.”
He grinned awkwardly. “I’m a jerk? Alright. I’ll be a jerk. This jerk is finished with this conversation,” he said as he began walking away from her.
Siderra narrowed her eyes. She’d had enough. Every emotion she could feel, good and bad, was converging in on her all at once. This was it. She knew it. Felt it. She couldn’t take anymore hiding her feelings. “I agree. We’re finished. Stop my by apartment and get all your crap before I drop it off at Value Village.”
He stopped walking and turned around. “What’d you say?”
“You heard me. Come get your stuff out of my apartment,” she said, her voice shaky. “I’m so done with this!” Siderra couldn’t get to the front door fast enough. Romulus closed in on her before she could exit. She turned around when she felt his strong presence behind her.
He saw tears in her eyes, ones that had yet to fall.
“What do you mean you’re done?”
“I can’t do this anymore,” she said, keeping those tears at bay. “I can’t be your friend. Gosh, I—I’ve been in love with you for so long…watching women come and go in and out of your life while silently sitting on the sidelines afraid to tell you how I really feel about you. I’m not going to do it anymore. My feelings for you are stronger than what they should be for us to be just friends, so that ends here. You go and do whatever makes you happy. You don’t have to worry about me anymore and what I’m doing or who I’m with. And I’ll move on with my life without waking up every morning wondering if this is going to be the day you finally notice me. Goodbye, Romulus.” She turned her back to him, opened the door and left.
Her words paralyzed him. He felt numb, fully absorbing what had just happened but not believing it. When he turned around, he had three sets of eyes staring back at him – Ramsey, Royal and Regal.
“You’re just going to let her leave?” Royal asked.
Romulus didn’t respond. He was looking at his brothers but it almost felt like he was looking right through them as they analyzed him.
“Rom, are you okay man?” Ramsey asked.
Romulus blinked out of his trance. “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m out. I’ll holla at y’all later.”
He walked outside. Siderra’s car was already gone. And it was raining, not like a torrential downpour type of rain, but more of a straightforward, tropical rain. He walked swiftly to his car, started it up and turned on the wipers, just sitting there. Siderra’s words stung him. The tears in her eyes bothered him. Her confession had him vividly recalling Regal’s words – you already have her heart. The bad part about that was, he knew he had her heart. He was well aware of Siderra’s feelings for him but never made a move because he didn’t trust himself. Now, his decision to ignore and postpone his feelings was costing him a friendship that meant everything to him. It was costing him the women he loved.
Chapter 15
Siderra
It’s already raining which means I can hardly see as it is. I can’t afford to cry, at least not while I’m driving. I’m too pissed to cry. My life just did a U-turn when I thought I was chugging along, taking whatever came my way and dealing with it. Handling it. Doing just under the speed limit but progressing, nonetheless. Now, I’ve hit a dead end – not a fork in the road – a complete dead end after a long journey. I’ve ended a ten-year friendship with a man who means everything to me.
I see brake lights in front of me as I take I-77 back to Charlotte. Several times I was tempted to turn around, go running back to Romulus and just accepting our friendship for what it was while keeping my feelings at bay like I’ve always done. Seeing as though that didn’t quite work out the first time, there’s no way it would work now. Still, I try to think of a way I could hold on to him because I do love Romulus. I don’t want this to be the end of us. Me and Rom – we were supposed to be in each other’s lives forever – not just a season. Nothing about us was temporary. Now, I’ve destroyed all of that.
When I finally get back to Charlotte, I pull over into the parking lot of a restaurant near Louise and Central Avenue. My car is still running, the wipers are on and I just sit here and think.
What have I done? That’s the question that keeps coming to my mind. What have I done? I’ve destroyed a decade’s long friendship in a few miserable minutes. Romulus didn’t say a word when I went on my rant. He just stood there, seemingly shell-shocked that I was declaring the end to our friendship. Or maybe his look of shock came from my admission of being in love with him. That’s more likely. He probably doesn’t understand why or how it happened. He could even feel betrayed. I don’t know what’s going through his head. Maybe I’ll never know.
I close my eyes and sigh heavily but I find no relief. This rain ain’t helping my mood. It only serves to increases my misery. It’s coming down hard now, pounding on the roof of my car. I should have driven straight home.
I adjust the wipers to full speed and strain my eyes to see my way out of this dark parking lot when I catch sight of something that gives me pause. I see Jamar and his pretty, ex-girlfriend Meshal sitting together, eating dinner at the restaurant in front of me. I watch as he reaches across the table to hold her hand. She smiles back looking at him like he’s her everything. Once upon a time, he maybe he was. Probably still is.
My phone takes me out of my trance with him. Gianna’s calling me. For a second I consider not answering. I’ve embarrassed myself enough for one night but Gianna’s one of the sweetest people I know. My friend. I know her call is one of concern.
“Hey, Gianna,” I say attempting to conceal my sadness.
“Girl, are you alright?”
“Yes. Well, I’m not but I will be. These things happen, right?” I ask, looking at Jamar and Meshal all lovey-dovey before driving off.
“What happened?”
“You didn’t hear, because Ramsey, Royal and Regal sure did?”
“No, I didn’t hear a thing. I had gone upstairs to check on Rianne. By the time I came back down, you and Romulus were gone.”
“He must’ve left right after I did,” I say thinking out loud.
“I asked Ramsey where you were and he said you and Rom got into an argument.”
“We did,” Siderra said. “We broke up.”
“How can you break up when you were never together?”
“You know what I mean, Gianna,” I say, making a left on The Plaza, plowing through the rain, heading for 36th Street. “I told Ramsey I couldn’t be his friend anymore. Told him I was in love with him.”
I imagine her mouth has dropped open in shock since I only hear silence from her end.”
“What did he say?”
“Nothing. All I got from him was a blank stare.”
“You must have caught him off guard. He wasn’t expecting to hear that.”
“I wasn’t expecting to say it, so you’re probably right. And I wouldn’t have said anything if he wasn’t being so rude to me. He barely even looked at me when we first got there.”
“I noticed that.”
“I told y’all he was upset. He was in his feelings because I forgot about going out with him Friday night. He said I stood him up for a guy I hardly knew. I apologized a million times, and he was still boiling over mad.”
“That just shows that he cares, Derra…cares more than you think.”
“Well, it’s over now.”
“Don’t say that,” Gianna said. “Just take a few days to think it over and calm down for a while.”
“You’re right,” I say as I’m searching for a parking space near my apartment.
That’s exactly what I need – a few quiet days to myself to calm down. To figure out how I made the mistake of letting other people – namely men – dictate how I feel about myself. Am I supposed to fall apart now because I ended a mentally draining friendship? Do I fold and write off all men because the guy I’m dating is having a romantic dinner with his ex-girlfriend? Or do I take a few days to get myself in order, hit the reset button and start
again? Focus on my store? My next moves in life? My priorities?
Chapter 16
Romulus
Sleep didn’t come easy the last two nights, nor should it had. He could still see the hurt in Siderra’s eyes when she walked away from him Saturday night. The pain in her voice echoed in his ears. And it wouldn’t stop.
That’s why very early on Monday morning – around 2:00 a.m. early – he got up and typed up the report that Ramsey had requested. Surely Ramsey would be expecting it for their morning status meeting.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Land Along Light Rail Blue Line Extension
Report by Romulus St. Claire
I rode the Blue Line Extension from the University City Station to Uptown. This is what I found:
There is plenty of land between the University City Station and the Tom Hunter Station. In fact, the I-85 Service Road is a prime location for new apartment complexes and/or businesses.
At the corner of Tryon Street and the I-85 entrance, it appears that some work is being done although I can’t determine what’s going on there. I saw some men working and a few bulldozers, but no signage indicating what’s coming in that location. If I had to guess, it will probably be a gas station.
Between the Tom Hunter and Old Concord stations, there’s a small vacant lot just past the massive car dealership on the right. There’s a sign up saying a gas station is coming there, but that sign has been there for a while and no work has been done on that property. Maybe the original deal fell through—not sure.
You’d be hard-pressed to find any land between Old Concord Road and Sugar Creek Road. At the corner of Old Concord Road and Tryon Street, there used to sit an old dilapidated building next to Dunkin Donuts. That building has recently been demolished. The area is too small for an apartment complex. My guess is another business of some sort is going in there – possibly something that will give Dunkin some competition.
