A Fox's Maid

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A Fox's Maid Page 13

by Brandon Varnell


  “Oh my.” Kotohime hid her smile behind the sleeve of her kimono.

  “M-Mom! What do you think you’re doing?!”

  “B-Beloved! Ahn! I really don’t―ah!―I really don’t like this woman! Can I hurt her?”

  “Don’t hurt my mom!”

  “Oh, wow! For a moment I thought these might be fake, but they’re actually real.” Ms. Swift seemed fascinated as she grabbed, squeezed and fondled Lilian’s boobs right in front of her son. “Let’s see; that’s ninety-four centimeters up top, ninety-nine for the bust, and sixty-seven down below. Impressive. I didn’t realize girls your age could get breasts this big, and you're so thin, too! Tell me, have you ever thought about going into the modeling business?”

  “Mom! Don’t go around trying to convince people to become a model! And stop groping Lilian’s breasts!”

  “That’s right! Let go! Kevin is the only person who can grope my breasts!”

  “Would you stop saying things like that?!”

  “Shouldn’t you be more concerned about how your mom is stealing away my chastity?”

  “Don’t you think you’re over-exaggerating things?”

  “Over-exaggerating?! She’s squeezing my boobs!”

  “Ara, ara.”

  “I think these might be even bigger than mine.”

  “Iyahn!”

  “Knock it off already, Mom!”

  ***

  It took five minutes to pry Ms. Swift off Lilian’s breasts, and another two before Kevin could suggest they all sit down.

  Seated at the dinner table with his mom on the opposite side, Kevin wove his epically ecchi tale, while also trying to leave as much of the ecchi out as possible. Sitting on his left was the unflappable Kotohime, while Lilian had taken to standing directly behind him, using him as a human shield against his mother, whom the young vixen was glaring daggers at.

  Unlike the last time, when Lilian had done most of the explaining to Kotohime, this time Kevin was the one being forced to shed light on their living situation. This was made exponentially more difficult due to the listener being his mother.

  It took nearly two hours to explain the situation to his mother, and that was with Kevin omitting a good amount of incriminating information from his speech. As much as he loved his mom, he didn’t think she was ready to hear that the two women living with her son weren’t human. Kevin planned on keeping it that way for as long as possible—, like, until it became completely unavoidable in a “the world is going to end” kind of way. Yeah, that sounded like a great idea.

  Ms. Swift was the picture of poise as she sat in her chair, a far cry from the molester she had been before. She didn’t utter a single word during the entire recounting of events, not even to ask questions. A cup of tea sat in front of her, somehow still steaming despite how long ago it had been prepared.

  “And after that Kotohime started living here for, um, uh…”

  Kevin glanced over at Kotohime, a question in his eyes.

  “I need to see if you are a suitable husband for Lilian-sama.” Kotohime’s smile caused chills to run down his spine. How someone with such a pretty smile could be so utterly horrifying was beyond him.

  “I see,” Ms. Swift said when he finished. Her face remained carefully neutral, and Kevin and Lilian shared a quick glance. She lifted the cup of tea to her mouth, blowing on the hot liquid before taking a sup. “This is very good tea.”

  “Thank you.” Kotohime gave the woman of the house a gracious nod. “I am pleased to see you enjoy the tea I have prepared.”

  “Where did you find the tea leaves?”

  “Oh, I just happened to have some on me,” Kotohime said mysteriously, her perennial smile still in place, though now she appeared amused.

  Ms. Swift looked at the woman for a second before understanding dawned in her eyes. “Extra Dimensional Storage Space?”

  “Extra Dimensional Storage Space,” Kotohime confirmed with a nod.

  “Wait.” Kevin ignored the shiver he got when his mom and Kotohime shared a smile. Those two sharing anything, much less a smile, could not bode well for him. “You know what she’s talking about, Mom?”

  “Of course.” Ms. Swift confirmed. “All women have an Extra Dimensional Storage Space. It is one of the fundamental differences between a man and a woman—aside from the obvious, of course.”

  “Indeed.”

  While Kotohime and Lilian nodded, Kevin’s mind fell into turmoil.

  “Another one.” His piteous moan. “And this one is my mom to boot!” Hands grasped chunks of blond hair as if desiring to rip them out. “Isn’t there someone around me who can be considered normal? Is that too much to ask for?”

  Ms. Swift observed her son freaking out.

  “Hmm, it appears as though my son is distressed.”

  “It does seem that way. Ufufufu…”

  “There, there, Kevin.” Lilian rubbed his back. “It’ll be alright.”

  “Don’t patronize me,” Kevin grumbled under his breath, “I so do not need you being condescending right now.”

  “You know I would never be condescending toward you, Beloved. That’s Kotohime’s job.”

  “Ugh.”

  “Ufufufu…”

  “You stop laughing.” Kevin shot the maid a glare.

  “Ufufufu…”

  “You too, Lilian. It’s creepy enough with just one of you. I don’t need both of you doing it.”

  Ms. Swift sipped her tea until the cup was empty, then set it down before placing her elbows on the table and steepling her fingers together. “So to sum things up: Lilian ran away from home and ended up in your care after getting seriously injured. Rather than doing the smart thing and getting her to a hospital, you took her here and bandaged her injuries to the best of your abilities. At which point, Lilian decided to marry you as a way of showing her gratitude. Is that about right?”

  Kevin rubbed his forehead.

  “Uh, more or less.”

  Even with the watered down version, Kevin hadn’t been able to get around the “mating” issue, and could only replace the word “mating” with “marriage” to explain Lilian’s continued presence.

  “And Kotohime is Lilian’s bodyguard, who only arrived here a few days ago when she discovered the location of her charge.”

  “Yes.”

  “I see,” Ms. Swift said before going silent again.

  Kevin flushed. Hearing his mom’s summation of events made it all sound pretty unbelievable, not to mention stupid. Really, who the heck would believe a story like his? Too bad he couldn’t tell his mom that Lilian had actually been a two-tailed fox at the time of her injury, and that he, fearing she might be some kind of secret government experiment, decided against taking her to a veterinarian where she might get reported to the FBI. Maybe it was just him, but he really couldn’t see that going over too well.

  “So listen, Mom, the truth is that Lilian was actually a fox when I found her, as in those animals that live in the wild and don’t like humans. I would have taken her to the vet, but because she has two tails, I thought she might be a government experiment and didn’t want her being taken away by the FBI so they could experiment on her again.”

  “I see.”

  “Mom, what are you doing?

  “Calling the nearest psychiatric clinic… hello? Yes, I’d like you to take a look at my son. I think he’s got Middle School Second Year Syndrome.”

  He shook his head. Not a good idea.

  Kevin watched nervously as his mother took in everything with a completely passive gaze. It was so unlike her to not show any emotion at all. His mom was a very expressive woman. Very emotive. Anyone who spent even five seconds with her knew that. Then again, this situation was not exactly normal, was it?

  How many other moms came home to discover that their son was living with two beautiful women? How many came home and learned that one of those two women had essentially proposed to their son?

  None. That’s how many.


  “Kevin.”

  At the sound of his name being called, Kevin could only gulp.

  “Y-yes?”

  “I…”

  This was it, the moment his mom passed judgement. He was so dead. His mom was going to rain divine punishment upon him like an entire pantheon of angry gods. Maybe she would ground him until he was 37, or perhaps she would take away his collection of anime and manga. She might even go so far as to burn them. Life as he knew it was officially over.

  “… am so proud of you!” Ms. Swift squealed.

  “Eh?” Kevin only had enough time to widen his eyes before his mother launched herself from her seat. “W-wait! Mom! Don’t―mmmppphhh!”

  “Oh, how I’ve waited for this day! The day my son finally became a man!”

  “Mmmph!!! Mphmmmphhh!!!”

  “I always thought you would remain a virgin for the rest of your life and die alone! Now I can finally rest easy!”

  “Mmm mmph mmphmmphmm!”

  “Don’t worry, Kevin! I approve of your relationship with Lilian. I am surprised, though. I always expected you to end up with Lindsay, but I suppose it doesn’t really matter. Just so long as you end up with a nice girl, I can know true peace.”

  “Mmphmphmphmmmmphh! Mmm! Mmmmppphhh!!”

  “And you don’t need to worry about me cramping your style or trying to stifle your relationship with Lilian. I’ll be more than happy to sit back and not interfere while you two explore your relationship more intimately. I don’t mind if you two share a bed. I know how young people are at your age. Sex is a natural part of any healthy teenage relationship.”

  “Mmmmmmmmph!!!”

  “Just promise me that you and Lilian will give me some grandkids eventually, okay? I’m not getting any younger, you know, and I’ve always wanted some grandchildren to spoil.”

  “Mmmpppphhhhh!’

  While Kevin found himself incapable of speaking, or breathing, or much of anything, really, the other two occupants could only stare as the young man and his mom shared a mother-son bonding moment—emphasis on the bonding.

  Lilian glowered as Kevin’s mother smothered her son in affection―and her bosom, but mostly affection.

  “This is so unfair. That woman is shoving Kevin’s face into her boobs, and because she’s his mom, I can’t do a single thing about it.” She crossed her arms and pouted. “Muu, I’m the only woman whose breasts Kevin should be using as a pillow.”

  “Ara, ara.” Kotohime felt nothing if not amusement.

  ***

  After several minutes of glowering at Ms. Swift liberally smothering her son with affection, Lilian decided that enough was enough. Pulling Kevin out of the excited woman’s embrace, Lilian had gone back to clinging to him, much like she’d done when they first met.

  Even an hour after the incident, the two-tails refused to let Kevin go. With her left arm wound tightly around his right, she glared at Ms. Swift, who sat on one of the chairs with a serene smile. It was like she didn’t even see the murderous expression on Lilian’s face.

  “You and Kevin make such a cute couple.”

  As if the words held dialectic powers, the aura of DOOM that had surrounded Lilian since the incident in the kitchen vanished entirely, and Lilian was all smiles again.

  “You really think so?” She asked, her sparkling eyes eerily reminding Kevin of two stars simultaneously going super nova.

  “So quick to change your tune,” Kevin barked, embracing his role as the tsukkomi. “And I’m right here, you know? Do you really have to talk about me like I’m not even here?”

  “Oh, yes,” Ms. Swift’s smile widened, “I don’t think I’ve seen Kevin look so comfortable around a member of the opposite sex since seventh grade. Seeing you and him acting so intimate with each other really shows how close you two are.”

  “Still right here.”

  “Thank you!” Lilian’s megawatt smile outshone the sun.

  “Why are you thanking her? And stop ignoring me, dang it!”

  “So tell me,” Ms. Swift’s smile turned positively devious. She leaned forward in her seat and fixed the beautiful redhead with the gaze of a gossip monger. “Have you two done the deed yet?”

  “Don’t talk about stuff like that while I’m here! Actually, don’t talk about that stuff at all!”

  Lilian pouted. She probably would have crossed her arms had she not been holding onto one of Kevin’s. “No. We haven’t done anything yet. Be―I mean, Kevin, hasn’t ravished me in the entire time we’ve known each other. We don’t even sleep in the same bed anymore. He sleeps in a sleeping bag on the floor, and refuses to get in bed with me.”

  “Oh, fine. I see how it is. Let’s all just ignore Kevin. It’s not like his opinion matters or anything.”

  “Ufufufu.”

  “And you stop laughing!” Kevin pointed an accusatory finger at Kotohime.

  “I’m very disappointed in you, Kevin.” Ms. Swift looked at her son with an almost pitying expression. “You have a hot girl who is more than willing to sleep with you, and you’re not taking her up on it. That is not very manly.”

  “Don’t talk to me about being manly,” Kevin spat, “and aren’t you supposed to be a responsible adult? You should be telling me that it’s not okay to have sex before marriage! Not telling me that I should have sex to prove my manliness!”

  His mother scoffed, as if she’d never heard such a preposterous notion before. “I’m not like those other moms, with their traditional and outdated ways of thinking. I’m a progressive thinker. Unlike most mothers, who don’t understand their sons at all, I am perfectly aware that boys your age are hormonal individuals overflowing with lustful urges.”

  “What lustful urges?!”

  “And sex is a very beautiful thing. It’s not something that you or anyone else should feel ashamed of.”

  “Stop talking about sex!”

  “Plus, I want some grandchildren as soon as possible, so I’m willing to waive aside the issues other people might have with it.”

  “I don’t want children yet! I’m only fifteen!”

  Sitting in the corner of the room, quietly cleaning her katana, Kotohime had the air of someone with primetime seats to their favorite entertainment. “Ara, ara. You seem to be a bit stressed, Kevin-san.”

  “Quiet you!”

  ***

  Kevin sighed as he stepped into his room wearing black boxers and a plain white T-shirt. His hair was still damp from his shower, and several droplets of water trickled down his spine.

  Lilian looked up from her place on Kevin’s bed. She was laying on her stomach, a manga laid out in front of her. Kevin couldn’t see which manga she was reading, but he had more important things on his mind.

  Like how Lilian’s position had exposed a significant portion of her cleavage. And how she wasn’t wearing a bra. That would have been bad enough, but her gorgeous calves were kicking back and forth, causing the hem of her shirt to ride up and show off her wonderful, panty-clad bottom. Her tails, which she’d pulled out the moment she arrived in the sanctity of their room, lay on her side while her foxy ears twitched. Those two characteristics did not help Kevin’s quickly awakening libido. Not one bit.

  Damn his Otaku tendencies. Damn his love of furries.

  “Do you really have to lay around like that?” Kevin turned his head so he wasn’t looking at her. Yet even then, his eyes still flickered over to the magnificent view.

  Lilian looked up from her manga and tilted her head. “Like what? Is something wrong?”

  “Ah, um, n-no, nothing’s wrong,” Kevin mumbled. So this wasn’t some attempt at seducing him? Now that was a surprise. Oh, his blush finally went down. Good. “I’m surprised you’re not still with my mom. You two seemed to be getting along pretty well. I thought you two would still be talking.”

  When he’d gone to take a shower, his mom had still been conversing with Lilian. Before he’d left them, she had asked the redhead all kinds of questions, most of which were embarra
ssing. Honestly, what kind of mom asked some girl they’d just met when she planned on having children with her son?

  Mine, apparently.

  “I would much rather spend time with you. Don’t get me wrong, I like your mom. At least, I like her when she’s not groping my boobs or shoving your face into hers.” Kevin and Lilian both shuddered, for completely different reasons, he was sure. “But, while your mom’s alright, I’d prefer spending time with the person I love.”

  Her words instantly made Kevin feel guilty. Warm and happy as well, but also ashamed. He didn’t know why. So far as he knew, he had nothing to feel guilty about. Or did he?

  “Thank you.” When Kevin looked away this time, he focused fully on the wall to his right. Looking Lilian in the face only made him feel worse. “I… I enjoy spending time with you, too.”

  Lilian smiled at him.

  “Would you like to read this manga with me before going to bed?”

  Kevin looked at the manga laying open on the bed. It was one that he had read several times already. The story was about a young man who, after failing to confess his feelings to the girl of his dreams, decided to sulk in the bathtub, only to have a naked alien girl randomly appear in the tub with him and decide they should get married after he accidentally grabbed her boobs.

  For some reason, the story sounded very familiar to him, but he shrugged the thought off. It probably sounded familiar from having read it one too many times. If he remembered correctly, this particular manga was one of Eric’s, which he’d borrowed and forgotten to return. It was definitely something his lecherous best friend would read.

  “Sure.”

  Gingerly getting on the bed, Kevin laid down on his stomach and moved closer to Lilian, the fox-girl scooting over to make room for him.

  The two laid side by side, their shoulders touching, reading one of the many great examples of perverted storytelling that the Japanese could come up with.

  Kevin Swift would admit that, despite the ecchi nature of the manga they were reading, he actually enjoyed this particular story. It was one of the few that managed to combine fanservice with plot, mainly because the fanservice was the plot. He could also relate to this character, for reasons he didn’t want to think about.

 

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