“Uh, Lilian?”
Lilian was all smiles. “Yes, Kevin?”
“What are we going to do about, well, all this?” Kevin gestured to the surrounding area. What trees and cacti hadn’t been burned to cinders by the hi-no-tama had melted due to the karakase-obake’s acid. The cement pathways were fragmented where the blob’s fat and surprisingly dense body had landed. Scorch marks littered the ground, and several fires still burned brightly nearby, sending their plumes of smoke into the sky like a Moltres rising out of a volcano. It looked like a warzone.
“Uh… leave before anyone can pin the blame on us?”
Kevin deadpanned. “That’s not what I was talking about.”
“… Mugyu…”
“Don’t go picking up random catch phrases!”
***
It was evening.
Dinner had ended a while ago. Kevin knew that, were he to turn his head, he would find Kotohime washing the dishes, humming a soft tune that sounded suspiciously like the opening theme song for Death Note. Lilian was probably in the restroom.
He leaned against the wall, staring at the darkening sky. The sun remained invisible, hidden behind a thick layer of dark clouds. Lightning streaked through them, flashes came and went within a split second. They perfectly reflected the stormy collection of thoughts that gathered within his mind.
On August 19th, almost one and a half months ago, Kevin had been an ordinary high school student. There had been nothing particularly special about him other than his ability to sprint short distances in seconds, his independent streak, and a severe inability to talk to girls.
Now he was living with a fox-girl who wanted to mate with him, her equally foxy maid who didn’t like him, and had discovered that yōkai actually existed. He’d also been in several confrontations with various yōkai, some of which had ended with violence, and one of which ended with him befriending a violent yuki-onna. It went without saying but, for an ordinary high school student like him, it was all getting to be a tad bit overwhelming.
Man, when life throws a curveball, sometimes it really curves.
“There you are.” Kevin turned his head as Lilian joined him on the balcony. Her pink pajama bottoms looked awfully cute. It contrasted well with the large T-shirt she wore, which fell off her left shoulder, leaving her unblemished and perfect skin visible. “I was wondering where you had wandered off to. What are you doing out here?”
“I was just thinking,” Kevin answered, turning his head back to stare at the sky.
Lilian stopped on his left and placed her hands on the wall. “What are you thinking about?”
Kevin did his best to ignore the feeling of Lilian’s eyes on him. “A lot of things. So much has happened recently, and I guess I’m having some trouble wrapping my head around it all.”
“A lot has happened lately, hasn’t it?” Lilian shuffled just a bit closer to Kevin. “My fight with Kiara and Chris, that stupid goth tsun-loli, and those three other yōkai we ran into today. I can see how this would be overwhelming for anyone. But you know what?”
Kevin turned his head and was struck speechless.
Bright green eyes shone with a vibrancy that even the brightest star could never hope to match. Lilian’s lips had curved in an expression of tenderness and love that he’d only ever seen from her.
Were her lips always that glossy?
“I wouldn’t trade it for the world, because I get to be with you. Even with everything that’s happened, all I need to do is look at you to know that every hardship I’ve been through was worth it.”
It was like a chain reaction. Kevin’s heart thumped like a ticking time bomb, pumping blood straight to his face, which he already knew was boiling lobster red. Why did everything this girl say have to be so heartfelt and genuine?
He looked back at the sky, more to give himself time to master his blush than for any other reason.
“That’s something I don’t really understand,” he said into the silence. “Why me? Out of all the guys you could possibly choose to be with, why do you want me to be your mate? I’m not that special. I’m just a jock who can run really fast.”
“Because I love you,” Lilian answered simply, as if it should have been obvious.
“Why though?” he pressed. “I’m nothing special. I’ve got no talent that makes me unique, nothing that makes me stand out. This isn’t some kind of anime, where the beautiful girl falls in love with the main character just because he showed her a bit of kindness. Things like that don’t happen in real life.”
Lilian’s answering sigh was so despondent it made Kevin feel like kicking himself in the balls.
“I wish I could give you a straight answer,” she told him sadly, “but I honestly don’t know what to tell you. We kitsune are ruled by our emotions, so I don’t even really understand why I feel so strongly about you. I just know that I love you.” Lilian shrugged. “That’s enough for me.”
Yeah, well, that wasn’t enough for Kevin. He couldn’t just go with the flow. He wanted—no, he needed to understand these feelings. Kevin couldn’t afford to go with his whims, to be guided by transient desires, not if he wanted to keep from following in his old man’s footsteps.
He chose his next words carefully. “I heard from Kotohime that a kitsune’s first mate is a pretty big thing in your culture.”
“Oh? She told you that?”
“Yes.”
“Hmm, I’ll have to speak with her later. I didn’t want something like that coloring your perceptions.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re too nice.” Lilian ignored the look he sent her and stared at the sky, hands clasped behind her back. “If you found out how important a kitsune’s first mate is, I thought you might decide to start dating me because you felt obligated to. I don’t want you to be with me because of something like that. I want you to become my mate because you love me, you know?”
Kevin was astounded by her answer. Truly, this girl’s love for him was more pure than fresh snow.
He looked back at the desert landscape. “Yeah. I can understand that.”
“Also, kitsune mating isn’t really a cultural thing. It’s just… instinct.”
“Instinct?”
“Yes.” Lilian’s red hair swayed as she nodded. “All kitsune instinctively know what they want in a mate. It’s… I guess you could say it’s almost like the traits we look for in a mate is hardwired into our DNA. Something like that. I don’t really understand the whole thing. I kinda fell asleep when Daphne was lecturing me on that part.”
Kevin chuckled when an image of Lilian, her face planted on the desk as she snored away, entered his mind. It was, not so surprisingly, a very cute image.
“Anyway, that’s more or less the gist of it. When we find someone who has the traits we desire in a mate, we seek to make them ours. It supposedly has something to do with our desire to procreate and have kits. Even kitsune like myself, who have not gone through a single mating period, have this instinct hardwired into us.”
“Mating period?”
“A lesson for another time,” Lilian determined. “This chapter is beginning to get a bit too long.”
“Right…” Kevin felt a drop of sweat trickle down his forehead. “I guess I kinda understand what you’re getting at. I mean, it’s sort of the same with humans. Not the instinct thing, but how we look for people who we think are desirable and stuff. That still doesn’t explain why, out of all the people on this planet, you chose me.”
Lilian sighed, her shoulder slumping a bit. “If you don’t remember, then I’m not going to tell you.”
Kevin tilted his head. “Remember? Tell me what?”
“Nothing,” Lilian muttered morosely.
Kevin gave her a strange look, and Lilian responded by shuffling closer to him. He only had a moment to be surprised before she grabbed his arm, wrapped it around her waist, and set her head on his shoulder.
“Let me stay like this for a while, okay?” she m
urmured softly in his ear. “All this talk of mates is making me a little depressed.”
Kevin wished he could claim ignorance about the origins of Lilian’s sadness, but even he wasn’t that stupid. He knew why she was sad, and that knowledge made his stomach twist.
“Okay.”
He ignored his own discomfort in favor of letting Lilian do as she pleased. It was the least he could do after she saved him from those yōkai today, especially since he hadn’t been able to give her the shaved ice, having dropped it during the yōkai trio’s initial attack.
Lilian’s hair carried the scent of lilacs, reminding him of spring. Her scent didn’t bring him comfort, however, but did the opposite instead. He still didn’t know what to do.
Not matter what anyone said, Kevin wasn’t sure he’d ever be what Lilian needed in a mate. It wasn’t like he’d had many great male role models to show him what to do in a situation like this.
Kevin thought about his father, the man he’d never met, the man who abandoned his mom. Loyalty. Fealty. Those words had meant nothing to that man. He had abandoned the woman who’d sired his son, leaving her alone and stricken with grief, forcing her to work several times harder than what should have been necessary just to survive.
How could someone who had the blood of a man like that flowing through them ever be able to accept and return the love of another?
Lilian deserves better.
Standing underneath the September sky, with a beautiful vixen in his arms, Kevin’s mind was consumed by dark thoughts, which the sky seemed to mirror. That night, there wasn’t a single star to be seen, covered as it was by dark clouds rolling in from the west.
Chapter 10
Secret Asian Man
“And time!”
Kevin Swift slowed his all-out sprint to a jog and then to a walk after passing the finish line. Several sweaty bangs fell into his eyes, which he brushed away with some minor irritation. He really did need a haircut.
Coach Deretaine stared at his stopwatch, blinking. “Twelve-point-fifteen. Not a bad time, Swift. You’ve been getting better. You’ve surpassed your old average again.”
Still trying to catch his breath, Kevin took a moment to answer. “Thanks, Coach.”
“Whatever,” Chase grumbled. “I could… have gotten… that time… too…”
“Say that when you aren’t lying on your back, Chase.”
“Bite me.”
“All right,” Coach Deretaine pocketed his stopwatch. “I plan on running you two through a few more sprints, but take a quick break. Hydrate yourselves and rest up.”
“Yes, Coach,” Kevin said while Chase mumbled incoherently.
Chase slowly clambered to his feet as Coach Deretaine started yelling at other members of the team. His breathing was hard, and his cheeks were redder than a blimp. He walked over to Kevin with a noticeable limp.
“How have… how have you gotten so fast?” he asked.
Kevin did the infamous Shaft head tilt to convey his confusion. “What do you mean?”
“Don’t play dumb,” Chase spat, his demeanor suddenly turning fierce. “Last week you were barely able to make thirteen seconds, and now you’re running at twelve-point-fifteen? People don’t improve that quickly.”
“You do remember that I wasn’t feeling too hot last week, don’t you?” Truth be told, he wasn’t feeling too good this week either, but it wasn’t due to lack of sleep. “Anyway, if you don’t like how much faster I am than you, then maybe you should think about training harder.”
“That’s easy for you to say,” Chase grumbled. “You’re the one who’s getting times nobody has a right to achieve. I’ve been working my ass off, and I still haven’t gone past twelve-point-fifty-eight.”
“Not my problem.”
“Tch.”
Kevin turned away as Chase grew silent, his mind continuing to run wild even though his body was still. It happened often lately. Whenever he wasn’t occupied by strenuous physical activities, his mind became consumed by guilt. He just couldn’t stop obsessing over his current situation.
Only the act of running gave him any respite, however temporary it might have been. That desire to reach the finish line, to defeat his opponent, gave him the focus needed to push aside his problems. Too bad each sprint only lasted around twelve seconds.
“I noticed Lilian isn’t with you today.”
“She said she had something else to do today. Last I saw, she was headed for the library.”
“Really?” Chase quirked an eyebrow. “So, she finally got tired of watching you, huh? About time, if you ask me.”
“Nobody asked you,” Kevin snapped. “The only reason she’s not here is because I asked her not to come.”
“Ah, I take it there are some problems in paradise?”
Kevin sighed. He’d been doing that a lot lately. Sighing, that is. “I guess you could say that.”
“You wanna talk about it?”
Kevin thought about it for a moment, before deciding he had nothing to lose. And Chase actually had experience with girls, so maybe the older boy could give him some advice.
Or maybe he’ll just make fun of me.
Kevin laid out his problem for Chase, telling him of Lilian’s feelings and his own confusion. It took nearly ten minutes, and by the time he finished, Chase was frowning.
“That does sound like a bit of a problem. And you’re saying Lilian’s serious about this? Like, seriously serious?”
“It’s more than just her being serious.” Kevin ran a hand through his sweaty hair. “I can’t really go into details, because I honestly don’t understand them myself.” Half-true. For obvious reasons, Kevin couldn’t give Chase the entire story. “But, suffice it to say that Lilian’s not looking for a simple high school romance. She wants something more permanent. More lasting.”
“I think I can kinda see where you’re coming from.” Chase nodded in a sagely manner. “I would be pretty annoyed if someone wanted to be in a serious relationship with me. I mean, we’re in high school. Who the hell marries the person they dated in high school? Nevermind the first person they ever dated, period. That crap just doesn’t happen often.”
“It’s not that.” Sweat flew off Kevin’s hair as he shook his head. “To be honest I… I don’t think I would mind being in a more permanent relationship with her. I’m just not sure if I really deserve to be with her. I don’t know if I can give her the same commitment that she’s willing to give me. Lilian is such an amazing person. Sure, I found her annoying at first, but I think I only felt that way because I was so hung up on Lindsay that I couldn’t see anyone else in that light.”
“Don’t forget that you couldn’t even talk to girls without passing out.”
Kevin grimaced. “Did you really have to bring that up?”
“Yes.”
“You’re a real friend,” Kevin said, his voice rank with sarcasm. “You know that?”
“I try,” Chase grinned when Kevin glared at him. He became serious moments later. “So why don’t you think you deserve to be with her?”
That was the question, wasn’t it? There were many reasons he didn’t deserve someone like Lilian, a lot of which he didn’t want to share with anybody, much less Chase.
He looked down at his hands. They looked so weak, so frail, so human.
“Because I’m weak. Every time a problem comes along, Lilian’s always been the one who solves it. She hasn’t needed my help at all. Even if I tried to help, I’d only become a liability.”
He thought about that time with Chris. Had it not been for Lilian, he would have died that day. Of course, he wouldn’t have been in trouble in the first place if not for her, but that was just semantics.
It was the most recent event, however, that had solidified his uselessness. Those three yōkai who attacked him had been losers. Literally. Their human forms were pathetic and nerdy, and their yōkai forms were just as bad. Even that hi-no-tama had looked ridiculous, like a fart engulfed in flames, y
et he’d been powerless against it.
“She needs someone who can stand by her side and support her as an equal. As you are right now, you’re just a liability.”
Kevin gritted his teeth. Kotohime was right. He was a liability. He couldn’t protect Lilian. He couldn’t even protect himself.
Even if I returned the love Lilian has for me, it wouldn’t do any good. I’d still be a liability. His mirthless smile reflected his inner thoughts perfectly. She’s better off without me.
He’d never been bothered by his own humanity before, but there was always a first time for everything, he supposed.
“Well, I can definitely see how that would be a problem,” Chase admitted. “I mean, needing a girl to fix all your problems is pretty pathetic. You’ve probably lost a couple hundred man points for that.”
“Oh, shut up.”
“But, honestly, I think you’re looking at this the wrong way.” Chase looked at the track field, eyes staring at something only he could see. “All you’re thinking about is how you feel. You feel like you don’t deserve to be with Lilian. You’re the one who feels pathetic. Did you ever stop to think that maybe Lilian doesn’t think that way? That maybe the reason she chases after you so fervently is because she believes you’re not pathetic, that you do deserve to be with her. That maybe, just maybe, you have something that she believes is worth chasing after?”
“I… no. I’ve never thought about it like that.”
Chase shrugged. “Then maybe that’s your problem. You’re only thinking about yourself. Try putting yourself in Lilian’s shoes. There’s obviously something about you that she finds worthy of her. She wouldn’t still be chasing after you if she thought you weren’t worth all that time and effort.”
“When we find someone who has the traits we desire in a mate, we seek to make them ours.”
Kevin remained silent, recalling Lilian’s words.
“Maybe you're right,” Kevin admitted slowly. “I’ve been focusing so much on how I feel that I never really took Lilian’s feelings into account.”
“That’s because you’re an idiot who has no experience with women.”
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