by Diana Nixon
“And?”
“And she looks so much like me. I didn’t know that.”
I smirked. “How would you know that if the only time that you saw her was right after she was born?”
“You don’t know anything…” I could hear defense in his voice.
“I’m not blaming you, Jace. Neither am I judging you. No one is perfect. But neither Winter nor Bella deserve the life they had after you left them. Thank God, my sister came to me, and I helped her with her newborn daughter. I can’t even begin to imagine what it would be like if she left her in an orphanage.”
Jace shut his eyes tight. “I’m so sorry, Olivia…”
“It’s not my forgiveness that you need to ask for. Bella doesn’t know anything about why you left her. I told her something about you traveling around the world, and she believed me. Just like she believed that her mom had the terrible flu, and that’s why she couldn’t visit her in the hospital, which is not the hospital she thinks it is.” I paused, knowing that Leo must have told him the same things. “Still, she loves both of her parents. And she hopes one day, the three of your will be together again. Is it too much to hope for?”
“No. But I don’t know what to do to fix my life, to fix myself. I’m ruined, Olivia. I don’t know who I am anymore, or what I want.”
“But you are here now… Which means you are not as much of a lost cause as you think you are.”
He smiled with the same sad smile I saw on his brother’s face the morning he learned the truth about me. There was disappointment in that smile, and helplessness, so much helplessness.
“Let her see you,” I said. “Let Bella meet you. She’s dying to meet you, Jace.”
He started to shake his head. “No, not today. I’m not ready to look her in the eye. She’ll start asking questions, and I don’t know what to say in response.”
“You don’t have to explain things. She’s too young to understand them anyway. But she needs you to be near. So, make it happen. Be with her, be there for her. It’s not that hard, is it?”
“I don’t know…” He leaned against the opposite wall and asked, “What do you love him for?”
“Who?”
“Leo. You love him, I know you do. I didn’t mean to spy on you, but I was in the sunroom when I heard someone talk in the hall. Sorry, I accidentally witnessed the scene between you two.”
“It’s complicated,” I said.
“It always is.” He smirked humorlessly. “Complicated relationships are my major. I’m terrible at making them normal.”
“I guess I love him for the same things you hate him for.”
Another smirk followed. “You are smarter than he is.”
“I doubt it.”
“Yes, you are. You just saw something my brother has never managed to see. I don’t hate him, at least not as much as you think I do. But you are right – everyone always wanted me to be like him – a smart and prosperous man who knows what he wants and always gets it.” He sat down on the floor and crossed his legs, leaning his head against the wall behind him. “I never wanted to be him. But everyone around me, including my parents, kept telling me how great he was. I felt like the shit of the world that didn’t deserve to breathe the same air with my perfect brother.”
“Is that why you thought that being a rebel was the best way out it?”
“Honestly, I don’t know what I was thinking. I just wanted to be different. I didn’t want to be perfect. I just wanted to be myself. But no one ever wanted to accept me.”
“Until Winter…”
He looked me in the eye, and I think it was the very moment I won his trust. “Until Winter…” He repeated. “She loved me for who I was. She never judged me or tried to change me. With her, I could be myself. I didn’t need to pretend to be a better man. I never lied to her about anything. Even the day she told me she was pregnant, I told her I wasn’t ready to become a father, and she accepted it.”
“Because she wasn’t ready to be a mom.” I knew my sister, as well as I knew becoming a mom didn’t change her. She was still as reckless as she had been before Bella. With the only difference that now she was all alone with her fears and life that she had no idea how to live with a newborn baby in her arms.
“Maybe you are right,” Jace said quietly. “Maybe if she trashed the crap out of me when I told her I would need more time to become a good father for Bella, everything would be different. But even then, she accepted my choice. She didn’t try to stop me. And I left because I believed it was the right thing to do.”
“It wasn’t the right thing to do, Jace.” I crossed the hall and sat down on the floor next to him. “But you still have time to fix it.”
“You think so?” He looked at me, and I smiled, despite how much I hated him when I found his picture in Winter’s bedside table a few months back.
“You’ve got a great family. Your parents love you, and so does Leo. But he’s just too stubborn to say it out loud.”
“As well as to say that he loves you.”
I smirked. “I think he’s the only person who hasn’t told me about his love for me yet. Because even your parents think he’s in love with me. But your precious brother keeps denying it the best he can.”
Jace chuckled. “Why am I not surprised to hear that?”
“Probably because you are so much like him. Despite how many times you say it’s not true.”
A thoughtful smile touched his lips. “Leo’s lucky to have you, Liv. Is that okay if I call you Liv?”
“Sure.”
He stood up and gave me his hand to help me up too. “I’ll come to see Bella, I promise. But first, I need to see her mother. She’s in rehab because of me. And I never meant to hurt her or to make her suffer.”
“Be careful with her,” I warned. “Don’t break her heart one more time. She won’t survive it.”
“I know, Liv… And thank you for this talk. It was needed.”
“You’re welcome.”
He started to walk to the sunroom again, and I – to the opposite end of the hall.
“What did he want?” Leo asked, meeting me in the living room.
I looked around, but neither his parents nor Bella was around.
“To talk,” I said.
“About what?”
Was it just me or did he really sound like he was jealous?
“Don’t worry, he didn’t try to seduce me.”
His jaw tightened; lips turned into a thin line.
“He’s not as bad as I thought he was.”
Leo smirked. “Were ten minutes with him enough to fall in love with him?”
I laughed sadly. “You are impossible, you know that? Though…” I stopped laughing and looked him in the eye. “He’s your twin brother after all, and even five minutes with you were enough for me to fall for you.”
There, I said it.
And I didn’t want to take my words back.
Leo’s face softened. “Liv…”
“Auntie!” Bella ran down the stairs and the moment was gone. “Do you want to play with my new dollhouse? Brian says I can take it with me and play with it at home.”
“Sure. Let’s play.”
“Dinner will be ready in half an hour,” Charlotte said, joining us. “Leo, will you help me lay the table?”
I was glad she distracted him. I wasn’t ready to discuss my feelings for him. And judging by his face, he would follow Bella and I and stay with us until he got a chance to talk about my confession. Which was probably a huge mistake, but it was too late to give it a second thought. And honestly, I felt relieved because I didn’t need to hide anything anymore. If he didn’t want my love, he could ignore it. At least I knew I tried to fix things between us.
A few hours later, after Bella and I played and everyone had dinner, Charlotte said she would take Bella for a walk, and then read her a good night story. The girl didn’t seem to mind her granny’s attention. She told her about my parents and how much she loved spending ti
me with them. To which Charlotte said she needed to meet them as soon as possible. Brian joined in their talk about the plans for meeting my folks when Leo and I kept nodding and telling ‘fine’ or ‘ok’ to every question they asked.
“It’s been a long day, Olivia,” his mom said after I helped her clean the table. “Go get some rest. I’ll take care of Bella.”
“Thank you. I’m glad you and Bella liked each other.”
“It’s impossible not to like her. She’s such a cutie!”
“Tell me something I don’t know.” I put the last cup in the cupboard and wiped my hands with a towel, saying, “I’ll take a shower and then come to wish her sweet dreams.”
“Okay.”
When on my way upstairs, I saw Bella and Brian play in the backyard. I didn’t know where Leo was, but I was glad he wasn’t around. I really needed some time away from him.
We didn’t share a single word during the dinner. But he specifically took a seat that was opposite from mine, and wouldn’t stop drilling me with his eyes all the way until I was done with my food that I honestly believed would stick somewhere in my throat because of how intense Leo’s gaze on me was. Choking was surely not a part of my plan for tonight.
Neither was it a broken shower…
The moment I realized there was no water in my shower cabin, I knew I would need to find Leo and ask him to fix it.
Crap…
I stepped out of the shower and put a robe over my naked body. Leo’s room was right next to mine, and I hoped he would be there to help me fix the damn shower.
“Leo?” The door to his room wasn’t closed, so I let myself in.
I could see the light coming from under his bathroom door.
“I have a problem,” I said loud enough for him to hear me.
“What is it?” He walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist.
A sense of déjà vu hit me, as if I was in his apartment again, like the very first time I went there.
“I…need you to have a look at my shower.” Meanwhile, I took my time to give him a precise look. Fuck, I should have skipped the shower and gone straight to bed. Because right now, falling asleep felt like the most impossible mission in the world.
“You just locked the door,” he said, looking behind me.
“What?”
“The door. You shut it, and now we are trapped.”
I unglued my eyes from his naked chest – not without an effort – and looked at the closed door. “What do you mean we are trapped?” I walked to it and pushed the doorknob down.
Nothing happened.
“You shouldn’t have shut it,” Leo said. “The lock is broken, and if you shut the door, you can’t open it from here, only from the outside.”
“Then we need to ask someone to open the door from the hall.”
“Great idea. But this room is in the most secluded part of the house, and I doubt anyone will hear your call for help. Even if you shout at the top of your voice.”
“Then use your phone to call someone.”
“I left it downstairs.”
“Great. Mine is in my room.”
He made a helpless gesture like it was not a big deal that we were locked in his bedroom, and there was no way to get out of there, any time soon. Unless someone would be looking for us, which was hardly possible, considering Charlotte was with Bella, and Brian was most likely in his room, getting ready to go to bed.
“What do we do now?” I asked.
“I’m going to bed.”
“Perfect. Then I’ll take the…” I looked around the room. “Couch.”
His eyes followed mine. “You mean that couch?”
It was small and looked more like a chair, but it was the only option I had. Because going to bed with Leo was not an option.
“As you wish,” he said to my silence.
“You are such a nice host.”
He smiled and dropped his towel to the floor. “Don’t thank me, darling.”
Chapter 18
Asshole… I thought for what felt like a hundredth time that night.
I was wide awake, staring at the ceiling and ‘enjoying’ the most comfortable ‘bed’ in the world. The ‘generous’ Leo gave me a spare blanket and went to bed, leaving me to fantasize about how good it would be to go to bed with him. Especially now that I knew he was there completely naked.
He was with his back to me, so I didn’t know if he was asleep or not. Most likely not.
I wondered if this situation irritated him as much as it irritated me.
“This is fucking ridiculous,” he muttered, tossed his blanket away, and got out of bed. Just when he came to my ‘bed’ and swept me in his arms, I knew he was up to something.
“What the hell do you think you are doing?”
“My bed is big enough for at least ten people to sleep in it, but you are taking the damn chair. How very mature of you, Olivia.” He put me down on his bed and walked around it to take
the other side.
I rolled on my right side so that now I was with my back to him. I didn’t know if he was watching me or not, but the sheets were still warm because he lied on them, and I enjoyed it like never before.
I pulled the blanket up to my shoulders and listened carefully to Leo’s breathing. Something was telling me the night would be sleepless.
I should have stayed in the chair. At least there, I wasn’t so close to him.
“This is even more ridiculous!” He said after a few silent moments.
“What do you mean?” I asked, hoping I sounded as uninterested in his response as ever.
“I’ve been trying to stay away from you the entire week. I even left for another city so that I didn’t come knocking at your door, hoping to steal another kiss from you. And now, there’s less than a meter between us, and I can’t even touch you!” He swore aloud.
“Who said you can’t touch me?” I turned on my back and looked at him.
His eyes burrowed mine. “What you said downstairs… Is it true?”
I knew exactly what he was referring to. “It is.”
“Can you say it one more time?” He moved closer to me and leaned on one elbow, looking down at me. The room was dark and quiet, and the only source of illumination, that was the moonlight slipping through the window, made everything around us look a little bit surreal.
There we were again, all alone, in one bed, and he wanted me to say I loved him. He wouldn’t want me to say it if he didn’t want it to be true, would he?
I swallowed my desire to touch him and said in a whisper, because it was the loudest my voice was capable of sounding right now, “I… Love… You.” He looked like he still couldn’t believe it, so I repeated the words, “I love you, Leo.”
He shut his eyes for a moment, then leaned closer to me and cupped my face with one palm.
“I thought I was imagining things when I saw it in your eyes the other night. I didn’t know if what I saw even existed. Before you, I didn’t know I was capable of feeling things; if I was capable of falling in love at all.”
For a brief moment, he pressed his lips to mine, softly, tenderly. Then he looked me in the eye and said, “I love you too, Liv. So much I can’t breathe when you are near. So much no amount of air is enough to make me feel alive, because all I need is you. Every day, every moment.”
I felt a lump form in my throat. “Really?”
His smile was disarming, as well the feeling of his body touching mine…
He pulled me closer and pressed me to his chest. “You are naked.”
“I’m wearing a robe.”
“Yes. But you are naked beneath it. I knew it the very moment you walked into my room.”
I giggled. “It’s because you wanted me to be naked.”
“Can’t argue with that.”
“How very convenient it was that of all the things in this house your lock was the only one broken.”
“The thing is…” He chuckled, and I knew
that it was his handiwork. “I broke it intentionally. As well as the shower in your bathroom.”
“I knew it!” I punched his chest.
“I knew I would be the first person you would ask for help. So, I thought it would be a perfect moment for us to talk.”
“You entrapped me and hoped it would help us clear the air?”
“But my plan worked.”
“Are you sure about it?”
“You are in my bed, you can’t run anywhere, and you just said you love me. It sounds like a pure victory to me.”
“Oh, you…”
He caught my hands and pinned them above my head. “I’m what?” He breathed into my mouth.
“You are everything to me, Leonel Cohen.”
In the darkness, his face was so close to mine; I could smell his aftershave and feel the warmth of his lips linger above mine. They were a breath apart, and I couldn’t wait for the moment I would feel them kiss me again.
Next second, his tongue was in my mouth, swirling in a sexy way, as if dancing with mine.
I closed my eyes, letting the things his kiss made me feel take over me. They were overpowering, intoxicating, making me obey his every unspoken wish, be his and his only, and beg for him to continue the play, kissing every small part of me.
My palms traveled up and down his back as if I were afraid he would leave me any second.
I couldn’t let it happen.
I didn’t want him to leave me again. So I pushed up my hips and pressed them harder against him, enjoying the way his erection touched my most sensitive part.
“I’m about to lose another case for you, Liv. Only this time, we will lose it together.” In one fast motion, he turned on his back, with me now hovering over him. He pulled the belt on my robe and then took it off me and tossed it aside.
“Are you sure this room is isolated enough for us to do it here?”
He smirked. “Even if it’s not, you are not going anywhere.” He pulled me down to steal another kiss from me. My tongue slipped into his mouth and he sucked on it.
Meanwhile, his cock found its way inside me and he pushed it in.
