by Karen Tuft
Natalie took the packet, slipped the ribbon off, opened it, and gasped. Inside was a plane ticket to New York, departing in three days with a return date of January fourth. “What is this?”
“I need to go back East tomorrow. You would think the German consortium I’ve been dealing with would be more traditional when it comes to their holidays. Instead, they’re insisting on meetings. In fact, they’re making a special trip from Europe to deal with some issues they want addressed, ASAP.
“At any rate, the firm was already planning a party at the Ritz-Carlton for our clients, as well as some of our law associates. This year, for some obtuse reason, someone decided to make it a New Year’s bash. Since it involves making nice with the consortium, as well as other high-rollers, I have to be there. I thought, maybe, you’d be willing to come as my guest.”
Natalie looked at the ticket in her hand, speechless.
“You’ll be staying there, at the hotel. I booked you a suite. I have to work part of the time, but I’d like to show you some of the sights, introduce you to some friends. I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about coming to New York, wasn’t sure how you’d feel about leaving the girls for a few days, although I still intended to ask you and give you the choice. My mom offered to let them stay with her. So did Jackie, although I didn’t know how you’d feel about having Em and Brett under the same roof, however supervised they might be. They’ve gotten to be pretty close.
“So, when your ex pulled his little Christmas stunt, I was angry for you, knowing he’d manipulated you out of days with Emma and Callie. Afterward, I thought, well, good. It worked into my plans perfectly—although I suspect if Wade knew he’d become the convenient babysitter for this little getaway, he wouldn’t like it.”
“Oh, Ross. New York. I’ve never been there—what’s it like? Is it cold?—of course it’s cold at Christmas. What am I thinking? Oh my gosh. New York.” Nervous butterflies were battling the bubbles of excitement in her stomach.
Ross wrapped his arms around her waist. “While we’re there, I’ll be taking you to a formal party. I wasn’t sure what you had in your closet besides a hokey pokey T-shirt, so I already talked to Jackie. Since I have to fly out tomorrow, she said she’d help you throw together enough of a wardrobe to get by. I’ve given her my credit card and instructions not to let you refuse anything. It’s my invitation, and I want to make sure you have what you need without it being a burden. What do you say? Are you up for the adventure?”
“Oh my goodness, Ross. I can’t think. It’s too much; it’s too generous. I can’t accept all of this.”
“Natalie, sweetheart, money I have in abundance. Who have I been able to share it with? No one. Let me do this. I want to.” He whispered in her ear, “Think, Natalie. Imagine. The Statue of Liberty, the Empire State Building. The Met, the Guggenheim, the Museum of Modern Art.”
She shut her eyes. “The art museums,” she whispered. “Oh. It would be worth it just for the art museums.”
“I was hoping it might be worth it to be with me.”
She opened an eye and smiled at him. “Well, there is that. The Museum of Modern Art is a pretty close second though.”
He grinned. “Then you’ll come?”
Natalie opened her eyes and nodded, then threw her arms around his neck. “I’m still in shock, but, yes, I’ll come.”
Chapter 19
“How are you enjoying your stay in New York City?” Ross’s former bishop, Neil Daynes, asked Natalie as they sat at a booth in Levin’s Deli. Ross had been stuck in a lengthy meeting since early that morning, so Neil and his wife, Janis, had taken on the roles of Natalie’s host and tour guide. Ross was hoping he would be able to meet them for lunch, but they’d received no word from him yet.
Natalie picked up a huge, crispy fry and nibbled thoughtfully. “It has been beyond all of my expectations. But then, my biggest adventure up until now was Disneyland, when the kids were small. It may be the happiest place on earth, but New York definitely creates its own kind of magic.”
Neil smiled at Natalie, then passed Janis the ketchup though she hadn’t asked for it.
Janis murmured, “Thanks, honey,” and squirted a huge puddle of it on the edge of her plate. When Natalie raised her eyebrows, Janis just smiled. “I know. Ross teases us all the time about our ‘EMP,’ as he calls it. Extra marital perception. He says we’ve been married so long we anticipate what the other is about to say or what they want.”
Neil gave Janis an affection pat on the arm. “It does seem to happen pretty often.”
Janis leaned conspiratorially toward Natalie over the table. “I just think that after so many years together, Neil doesn’t have any more original thoughts left in that brain of his that I don’t know.”
“And I’ve heard everything in hers at least twenty times by now, as fast as she talks.” He chuckled at her squawk of outrage and threw an arm over her shoulders for a quick, tight hug. She was soon chuckling right along with him.
Natalie smiled at them and felt a twinge of envy. It seemed she’d spent a lifetime trying to read Wade’s thoughts, trying to anticipate what would make him happy, but she’d never succeeded. She would love to have that kind of emotional closeness with someone, with Ross, but didn’t dare think about it. She still couldn’t believe she was here, with him, in the first place.
The last two days had been a dream. Her first day in town he’d arranged for an afternoon off work and taken her to Liberty and Ellis Islands, and they’d gone to a show on Broadway that evening. The next day he’d given her free rein at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. There, she’d wandered joyfully, absorbing the passion of the paintings, the colors, the shapes, the genius of each work. He’d stood by her side, asking probing questions, pointing out observations. Walking through all of that artwork with Ross had been enlightening in regard to both the artwork and her relationship with Ross. Everything had clicked.
They’d filled their evenings with quiet conversations and soft kisses. She was happier than she remembered being in years.
Ross’s meeting with the German company that morning would wrap up his obligations to them this week, he’d told her. The New Year’s Eve party was that evening, and Natalie was fighting down the butterflies in her stomach. She couldn’t decide if she was more excited or frightened by the prospect of being on Ross’s arm and meeting his colleagues. Wearing the gorgeous dress Jackie had sent with her and seeing Ross in a tux was like living out a Cinderella fantasy. Facing his coworkers and clients and hoping she didn’t trip over her feet or her tongue, however, was giving her a bad case of nerves. She made an attempt to eat another french fry.
“So how did you and Ross meet?” Janis asked before taking a bite of her club sandwich.
“It was nothing, really. I was substituting for his regular housekeeper when her husband became ill.”
“That isn’t the way I heard it,” Neil interjected, shooting her a sly look.
“Oh? Why didn’t you tell me about this?” Janis gave Neil a glare that Natalie herself used on Emma and Callie frequently. It usually sent them running for cover.
“Now, Jannie, you know old bishop habits die hard. When Ross told me, I wasn’t sure if it was in confidence, and I erred on the side of caution. That’s all. But now that we all know each other so well, I think Natalie here will share it with us herself, won’t you, Natalie?” He hid a grin behind the rim of his water glass.
He may be a former bishop, Natalie thought, but he acts more like a sly old dog. Over the last couple of days, she’d found she liked him and Janis immensely. “Well, if you must know, he caught me studying for a college exam at his house.”
Neil snorted. “There’s more to the story than that.”
Natalie looked sheepishly at Janis. “Okay, okay, I confess. I was studying for a college exam,” she said, “but it just happened to be for my tap-dancing class.”
Neil roared and slapped a hand on the table. “Can you believe it? Jannie, I swear I busted a gut w
hen Ross told me. He’d flown home on the red eye, with food poisoning of all things, and was dead to the world. Next thing he knows, a gang war sounds like it’s taking place in his kitchen.”
“He wasn’t very happy that day, that’s for sure,” Natalie said.
“I’d have given anything to be a fly on the wall.” Neil grabbed Janis’s napkin off her lap and wiped his eyes.
“Thankfully, we’ve gotten past the strangeness of our first introduction. We’re good friends now, I think.”
Neil’s countenance immediately sobered. “Natalie, you may not realize this, but you have wrought a miracle on that man. And I suspect—no, I know—Ross considers you a lot more than just a friend.”
Natalie hoped but didn’t know if what Neil said was true. She only knew she loved Ross, despite her constant warnings to herself. Buck’s rejection had been painful; Wade had made her doubt everything she believed about herself. And Ross, in contrast, had given her confidence, valued her intelligence, and encouraged her art. Because he had given her so much, she knew that if—when—he moved on and found the woman who was his real match, it would truly break her heart, but she would be a better person and grateful to him always. “I think he is the one who has wrought the miracle. Not the other way around.”
“I suspect it’s just like you to say something like that.” Neil smiled fondly at her. “The more I’ve gotten to know you, the more I see that I like.” He glanced at his watch and grimaced. “I’ve got to head back to the office.” He tossed his napkin on the table and leaned over to kiss Janis. “I’ll be leaving you two lovely ladies to do those mysterious things women do before their hot New Year’s Eve dates.”
Janis snorted. “As if a game night with the kids is a hot date.”
He smiled affectionately at his wife, and once again, Natalie felt that tug of envy. “It isn’t exactly the games with the kids I’m thinking about, honey.” He kissed Janis again and winked at Natalie. “It’s been a pleasure getting to know you, Natalie. I hope we get to see you again before you head back to Salt Lake.”
Natalie watched him stride out of the deli. She turned her attention to Janis. “You two have such a great marriage. I always wanted something like what you have. I worked hard enough at it, but . . .” She took a sip of her drink to wet her suddenly dry throat.
“I have learned over the years that marriage involves the love and dedication of two people,” Janis said. “I know I’m blessed having Neil for my husband. We’ve had rough patches, don’t get me wrong.” Her eyes twinkled a little. “But somehow, we’ve been able to use those patches to make our relationship stronger.
“Marriage—love, for that matter—is a two-edged sword. If handled with care and intelligence, it can be a source of strength and power. If neglected, it becomes dull and ineffective. If handled poorly, it becomes dangerous and leaves mortal wounds. Neil and I decided long ago that we would do whatever it took to keep our marriage—our sword—sharp and strong.”
Natalie knew that what Janis had said was true; she’d tried valiantly—but on her own, in both marriages. “You also have to choose the right partner to help you forge the best sword you can. A weak sword can be sharpened and polished to look strong to those on the outside, but it will still buckle and break in a real battle. And a sword cared for by only one of the partners creates imbalance and adds to its weakness.”
“Is that what happened to you? Do you think you chose unwisely?”
“The first time, definitely. I was too young to see beyond my feelings for the person I was willing to give them to. The second time—”
“You’ve been married twice?”
Natalie always hated this part. Marriage and its permanence was such a vital, all-important subject. Having two failed marriages left her feeling like an eternal waste of time for a man. Who could possibly want to deal with the baggage left over from two previous husbands? Besides that, it tended to make others think she was cavalier about commitment, that she didn’t take it seriously, or bailed when the going got tough. Explaining was useless; it sounded apologetic and weak. Only she really knew how dedicated she’d been to making each marriage work. Only she knew how the pain of each failure had devastated her. “Yes, I have.” She spoke quietly, expecting to see a shift in Janis’s eyes, a passing of judgment.
Instead, her eyes were filled with compassion. “You’ve dealt with a lot, haven’t you? I’m so sorry about that. Perhaps that’s why things seem to be working out so well with Ross.”
Natalie’s heart skipped a beat. “What makes you say that?”
Janis shook her head and smiled sagely. “Natalie, what do you know about Ross? About his past, I mean.”
“Not much. I’ve met his family; I know he lost his father last year. We talk about a lot of things, just not the past. He’s fairly private.” Suddenly worried about Ross, she leaned forward in her seat. “Why? What about him?”
“We’ve known Ross for more than a dozen years. Neil had just been called to be the bishop of the singles ward, and we met Ross there, at church. He was in law school at Columbia at the time and was in our home a lot. I’ll never forget one weekend when I had the flu—”
She paused and smiled at the waitress as she left the check, then continued. “It wasn’t just me; the baby had it too. Neil had stayed up a couple of nights straight taking care of little Matt and doctoring me, and he was exhausted. Ross came over one evening and watched our sick baby so Neil could get some sleep. He was great.”
Natalie thought back to Dorothy’s birthday party and a gallant Uncle Ross dancing with Regan, the little girl’s feet planted on Ross’s, matching him step for step. “He has a big heart.”
“He does. But for more than a decade, that big heart has been locked away.”
Natalie’s already nervous stomach tensed even more. She remembered Ross telling her that he’d proposed to someone named Liz and that she’d turned him down. She wondered if that was what Janis was referring to. “Why are you telling me this?” Natalie asked.
“Because you need to know. For the past eleven years, we’ve watched him throw himself aggressively into his work like he was obsessed. He has rejected every woman he’s met, has stood aloof, and has passed cynical judgment over everyone and everything he’s encountered. He’s gone through the motions and done what was expected.”
A light went on in Natalie’s mind. “The list,” she whispered.
“List?”
“There’s a list, a set of requirements for his perfect woman. I heard someone talking about it at Dorothy’s birthday party. How he had a checklist, and Susan was furious with him because of it.”
“I can just imagine his requirements, especially if their existence has anything to do with his sister Suzie,” Janis said. “He’s mentioned before that his family, especially Suzie, has been overzealous in the matchmaking department.”
“It’s an impressive list, from what I was able to hear.” Natalie gave Janis the details. “But Ross is pretty impressive himself. He deserves the very best.” Natalie took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “This all goes back to the girl he proposed to, doesn’t it? Liz somebody.”
“Liz Turner. So Ross has told you about her, then?”
“Only that they were in law school together, that he asked her to marry him and she said no.”
Janis nodded. “He was smitten. More than that, he really thought she was the one. You have to understand Ross back then. He always succeeded. Whatever he set out to do, he accomplished. He met Liz and just knew, with the confidence of someone who is never wrong, that she was right for him. They were a beautiful couple, the perfect couple.”
“The perfect couple,” Natalie echoed.
“Yes. Ross asked the missionaries to teach her. And when she seemed genuinely interested in the Church—she’d even set a baptismal date—everything seemed to be falling perfectly into place.
“He didn’t call us for a few days after he was supposed to have proposed. But I knew he w
as busy with school, so I wasn’t the least bit worried. I figured he’d call when he could.
“But when he did finally call, he didn’t say anything to me on the phone, just asked me to put Neil on the line.” Janis was losing her battle to hold back her emotions. Her eyes were brimming.
Natalie just waited; she could barely move a muscle. She knew how it felt to suffer through rejection; imagining Ross in so much pain was breaking her heart.
“Neil wouldn’t tell me anything about what happened when he went to Ross’s flat, being bishop and all. He would only say that what he’d found was worse than he could have imagined.” Janis blotted her eyes with her napkin. “When I saw Ross for myself, it tore me apart. He said Liz had turned him down. I know guys aren’t supposed to cry, but I still expected some tears, something, I guess. But there weren’t any tears. Just an anguish like I’d never seen. The next time I saw Ross, he’d changed, and not for the better.” She looked back at Natalie. “His eyes were blank, like he’d filed Liz away—and everybody else, for that matter.
“I think Neil and a friend of Ross’s at the school are the only ones who know the full story, even to this day. I don’t think his family knows. It took Ross a long time to get over Liz, and even then, he wasn’t the same old Ross. But this week I’ve begun to see glimmers of the old Ross. And it does my heart good.”
“I’m so glad,” Natalie said.
“You love him, don’t you?” Janis asked quietly.
Natalie looked at her. She knew her feelings showed clearly in her face. She nodded, a small movement, nothing more. Just acknowledging it that much to anyone was terrifying. “I’m afraid I fall way short though. It’s too much to hope—”
